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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Need some help - Scammer or not? Author Post Cycleserg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 3:22:22 AM   I received the following letter from my fiance a day ago and it has put me in a tailspin. Before you read the letter let me give you a little background about Talina and myself. Back in March of this year I saw her profile on another site. I looked at all the anti-scam sites for her profile and photo. I did not see anything so I was pretty sure I was okay. I sent her a short note describing me and my interest to get to know her. This lead to many, many e-mails from both of us and a couple of phone calls with a translator. I counted more than 50 e-mails from each one of us.I also want to add that I sent her about $60 dollars to cover her e-mail and photo scanning costs. She seemed greatful for the help. So in July I flew to Ukraine to see her. Everything was great. We had a bit of a languange problem but we understood enough to communicate with each other. She took time off from work and we spent almost two weeks siteseeing. One thing that I noticed was that she did not want me to spend money on her. She seemed a little embarassed that I would want to spend money on her and her daughter. This made me even more interested in her. Thoughout my stay there we both expressed our love for each other and our desire to be together. We were intimate several times and I felt like I finally met the woman I wanted to be with. Before I left I asked her to marry me and she said yes. I also told her that I could help her financially by sending her $200 per month until her visa was approved. I figured since I could afford it and she seemed to need it, I would help her. When I arrived back in the states I started looking for a reliable visa lawyer/agency. I must say I took my time because I wanted to be sure of our feeling for each other. Well here is were things have gotten strange. Shortly after I got back, she told me that her daughter was ill and she did not have money for medicine. Then a couple of weeks later she tell me that she has not been paid in two months. She also tells me that she has not paid her rent in 3 months. This means that while I was visiting her, her rent was overdue. I asked her why she did not say anything while I was there? Well that question has not been answered in any of her letters. She also told me that her cousin died and she had to pay for the cousins funeral. So, because of all of these multiple problems I sent her an additional $500 in September. It seams that as soon as I returned from my trip she has had multiple financial problems. Now, she has also been working on her visa documentation and has sent the required documents to the visa people. So it seems that she has been making an effort to get her visa documentation. So even though I am getting some red flags, I am also getting a good vibe from her and that is what is confusing to me. Now for the letter: Hello, my Dear sweetheart Sergio! I miss you very much! Diana is asking when she will be able to see you and to get acquainted with your children. You know, I thought for a long time, whether I should or shouldn't tell you something. But you know that I have nobody to tell about my problems and to share with. The bad accident happened at my work. On Friday when I was at work, the people from Diana's school called me and asked to come there immediately, because Diana felt really bad. The teachers thought that she had food poisoning. I am not permitted to leave y work, as I manage the people there and control the order at work. I had no choice and left it all without the director's permission. I was absent at work for about an hour. We called the ambulance for Diana and it turned out that she had gastritis exacerbation. When I came back to work, I found out that somebody had broken open the closet, which usually was locked, and the cash in amount of 6 thousand hrivnas had disappeared. It is about 1,200 dollars. Now I have to work the money off, to work without any salary till I return the whole sum. It will take a long time. I don't know how many works I have to do now to solve all the problems. So, this is how I am doing. I am sorry that I have written only bad news, but there is no good one yet. I hope that soon we will be together and all the problems will come to their end. I kiss you and love you, Talina What do you guys think? I thought I did everything right and met someone but all this is getting crazy! Am I dealing with a scammer? Or just someone who has a lot of bad luck? I am ready to throw the towel and stay away from FSU women! danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 4:10:20 AM   Cycle, On which site was her profile, use www.google.com to search for 'agency name followed by scam', also google a search for her full name and 'Talina followed by city name' and throw in the word 'scam' as a 2nd search. The first thing that occurs to me is that how well did you know this lady before you proposed to her, was this your first time together? If it was, I made the same mistake a few years back, it is too soon, you don't know the person well enough and, it seems, you are just finding that out. Reading thru your story, until the letter, it sounded like a regular scenario. In Ukraine a man financially supports his lady, sure you have been supporting to USD200 per month and whilst she herself may earn less than USD100 per month, your USD200 doesn't go very far when buying clothes etc. These women all talk, boast and show off with each other and a regular thing would be for other women to tell her she is being stupid and to the effect that if she has an American (or whatever) boyfriend then he should be supporting her a lot more. I don't know what to say about the letter, taking the othe illnesses, non payment of rent, cousin's funeral into consideration and this child illness, compounded by the robbery, well it is too far fetched, even for Ukraine, to be true. A genuine lady would be straight with you, if she wanted to buy a new dress then she would ask you for this money and for this purpose, even if it wasn't for a dress but all these different scenario's are really one step too far to be believable. I suggest, tell her you will help her with the USD1200 and you will bring the money with you on your next trip to Ukraine in maybe 2 months time then just wait to see how impatient she gets. P.S. Have you checked the full headers on her emails for anything suspicious, if she writes from an internet cafe then her originating IP address should vary etc. P.P.S. Please tell me she's not from Lugansk! felicedate Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 5:28:11 AM   Cycle, you've lost enough your time and money so don't try to catch a straw while drowning. I am pretty sorry, guy, but this is not this girl who's been robbed but you. The sequense of facts would sound credible only to a blind person. Yes... Love makes us blind... Maxirat Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 5:29:48 AM   Cycle Mate - I feel for you. This is a very serious situation. In my mind - it looks bad. BUT - I could be wrong - if I met her - I know I would be able to know and not assume !!! I think Martins idea above is a good one. It does two things. Gives her a solution to the immediate problem and also will test her sincerity. Good luck and keep posting - more of her letters would help give a clearer picture (off forum if you want) izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 8:02:46 AM   Got to be honest, she hit about 3 of the biggest scam stories. Medicine, accident, theft. Time doesn't mean too much I think. Marina also hit me up with stories and it took a little time but finally she asked me for money. Problems at work, broken car, diminished income. I was very suspcious then of course I finally got the 'Dear Gerhard" letter and that finished me off. Even if she was American and I was seeing her every day I would walk away from her. In fact I had an American woman try that with me. I walked pronto. As for what Martin says about $200 not going very far I don't completely agree. In Kiev yes but in Kherson that is a months take home pay and many don't earn that much. It is a miracle that they have the nice clothes they do. In my present lady's case she makes them herself. So if you have been sending her $200 a month and she is earning another $100 she is doing pretty well. Sorry to say this but she is taking you for a ride. Another alternative is to ask for the name and address of the employer and try to verify. That is open to a complete setup but it is another avenue. You would be better off just saying I am sorry but you are a Jonah and I am not made of money. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 10:58:00 AM   I would walk away from this like the plague! I have to agree with Felice and Izi, this whole situation smells, but sometimes truth is far stranger than fiction. If you are sending her 200 a month chances are she wouldn't have to work so much. Also I wouldn't get into the situation of sending money on a monthly basis. Too much of a dependency/expectation situation. I've helped Larissa with money on extracurricular expenses, like english lessons, driving lessons, the things she would not necessarily have in her current situation. My opinion sending money on a monthly routine basis is a huge mistake. My commitment to total support is when she walks through our door here in Indiana, not while living in Ukraine. Later Mike Neonred Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 11:43:12 AM   Nas is absolutely correct. I know friends of my girl that are receiving money on a monthly basis from their guys and it gets spent on botox injections and the latest and greatest cell phones and other consumer electronics, not on basic necessities. Remember, these girls were surviving somehow without you. They will continue to do so. Yes it is great to help them out occasionally, but unless you are very close to being married your monthly allowance is making her too dependant on that money. izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 11:58:21 AM   Yep to what Neon and Nas have said. I am going to sporadically give my lady $100. She will never quite know when it is coming. I have set up a separate checking account. I shall either give the ATM card to her or the agency. Probably the agency. I can then very easily and quickly give her some cash. Had a little talk to the bank about overdrafts and fees etc and it is completely under control. Beats the hell out of Western Union AND telegraphic transfers. I will help on a regular basis though. Elena has no job and lives with her parents who are on a pension. Her father works on the sly to supplement the income of the family and she gets some money from the government which is essentially for the boy. The natural father pays next to nothing. She is very good with money and I feel sure that the $200 I have already sent her is going to last a VERY long time. I think it will be a big surprise to her when I tell what I am going to do when I return in November. I feel that this is a gigantic gesture of sincerity on my part. It means I take responsibilty and really care. However at any sign of fancy cellphones or anything like that and I will close that accout in a heartbeat and move along. Don't think that will happen though. Apparently she took the whole family to stay at a cousins house in Kherson Region in the summer. She fed everybody on 100 grivnas a week for 3 weeks. That is bloody frugal my friends:)) That is $20. felicedate Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 2:30:24 PM   Note** For those guys who are now reading this thread and thinking: "I am a donkey! Why am I sending money to my girl every month??? These guys are so smart, they would laugh at me!" Take it easy, first of all. Evrybody tells - don't do this but most of you guys do this!:-) Now to the essense of issue. It is very hard to generalize here. Every case differs. In most case I warn my clients that the effect caused by this "small help" can be detrimental: girls begin to call us only to ask "Did my ... send something to me? How much?" , they begin to count money in your pockets, they become dependant on this, they become more selfish and materialistic... In short, they become Americanized. But again, take it easy, sooner or later your girl will have to pass this contest. Very few people dont fail the "money test". My own experience shows that giving money to local girls works good when this gir already has good income, then this money goes to different pleasant things which are not vital but very important for a real woman. One more my word. Don't start to count a girl's money! I mean don't begin to judge like 100 is enough for her to survive and she does not need extra. This a) humiliating b)leading to your girl's starting to count your money. For one girl 100$ will be more than enough but for another 1000$ will be not much. My wife works as a teacher and earns around 100$ a month but this is my man's dignity not to give her money accordingly. I just know that she deserves many thousands and thus giving her extra 3-4 her salaries every month is not a big crime. alexander Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 5:05:02 PM   "This lead to many, many e-mails from both of us and a couple of phone calls with a translator. I counted more than 50 e-mails from each one of us.I also want to add that I sent her about $60 dollars to cover her e-mail and photo scanning costs. She seemed greatful for the help." Why did she need 60 USD??? Unlimitted cable Internet access in Luhansk is 50 USD per month... 1 hour of the Internet at a Computer Club costs 1 USD... I am in LUHANSK and it's not a problem for me to trace her physical location via her IP olegnay Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/2/2005 8:34:17 PM   alexander, he was there. I think, he knows where she lives. Cycleserg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/3/2005 1:21:35 AM   Thanks gentlemen for you comments. I don't know about anybody else but I was married for 18 years and divorced for 1 year, before I discovered FSU women sites. Which makes me a newbie at dating again and a complete novice with FCU sharks. I thought I did everything right prior to my trip to see her. I checked all the scam sites, googled her name, many e-mails, sent her flowers, etc. I followed the advice I read from many sites. In essence I thought I was on the right track. Once in Dnepropetrosvk, I think I got caught up in the whole beautiful woman paying me a lot of attention thing. Me a bald okay shape latino, 44 year old divorcee with 4 kids. On the issue of money, to me sending someone $60 prior to me meeting her was no big deal. And sending her $200 dollars per month after my trip I could do gladly. Remember I only agreed to the additional money after we met and spent time together. Granted looking back a two week meeting was not enough to commit our love for each other but who knew? I met her family. I ate dinner with them. They seemed genuine people. She did not seemed to have a lot of material things. She and her daughter live in a two room apartment. When I say two rooms, I mean a living/bedroom, small kitchen, and bathroom. I live in a 4 bedroom 3 car garage house with 2 acres of land. So you see this is not about money. This is about losing trust in someone who I thought I could love the rest of my life. While I was there she never asked for money. This only started when I got back. I know that some of you out there read my first post and considered me a chump and thought that this could not happen to you. Well I thought I was intelligent and could not be duped. So the main reason for my post is so you guys can see what could happen. I believe I am done with FSU women. My heart is broken and it would be very hard for me to trust them again. I have not written her back, but I will. Dosvidanya Sergio danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/3/2005 3:16:40 AM   Sergio, It is all very well for others to comment that, perhaps, you fell for regular scams, I didn't, I read through your story and read it line by line. I'm been dating FSU ladies since 1998, I'm happily settled now with someone who is truly my best friend, and me hers, but it took a long time to get there, believe me. Yes, people do get sick, and I know from my own personal experience, one needs to pay for drugs and medicines in Ukraine, Ukrainian people do not always get paid on time and fall into arrears with rent, 'shit happens' as they say and I would have probably done exactly the same as you did given these scenario's but I would have hoped to have known the lady longer than just the one time together. Whilst these scenario's gave warning signs the alarm bells only started jangling when I got to her letter, where do these people dream up such unbelievable stories and do they really expect the guy to believe them? Saying that, there are a lot of idiots in this world so I'm sure some do fall for it. Sergio, since 1998 I've made mistakes but from each mistake I have learnt and moved on. Some people believe their education fnished the day they graduated from school, I'm going to continue learning until the day I die. I understand that your disappointment is regarding the deceit rather than the money, I've been there myself, but if you're going to give up after just one setback then I can't understand why you set out on such a venture in the first instance, when you wrote your first letter did you truly expect to marry the first lady that you would meet? Sergio, the best way to get over such a fall is to get straight back on the horse and try again and if it helps, my lady works for a small agency in Zaporozhye which is 45-60 minutes down the road from Dnepropetrovsk, they know all the ladies personally and if you would like to send me an email then I can give you the agency owners contact information, she's a very good friend of mine. alexander Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/3/2005 5:59:57 PM   some girls in Ukraine are really stupid :( they could have whatever they need... instead they rush for fast small money... scam people and ruin the reputation... too bad for them... Segio - there are good girls in FSU, don't stop and you will find the right for you. Too bad that I can't recomend any agency in my city :( you know, Luhansk is too famous... Cycleserg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/3/2005 11:14:53 PM   Hey Martin Thanks for the words of encouragement. What the hell, I always told my boys if you fall of the motorcycle (horse) to get right back on. I don't know your e-mail but here's mine Cycleserg@hotmail.com Thanks Sergio vanechka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/8/2005 5:51:04 AM   Sergio I would suggest you dont get involved. How many times do you want to get hammered.. Your story is the same story I hear from every western man who has tried this. if it doesnt happen now it will happen eventually. she will go back.. All these dating agencies are corrupt scum because they know whats going on . they dont talk about it though on their websites. instead they tell you everything is wonderful... Its a common occurance yours. I suggest you avoid stress and pain in your life and find someone local. Do you really want to deal with all the homesickness crap... remember that russian woman would stay In ukraine but look for escape routes and you the sentimental western man is just a tool wake up!!!!!!!!! nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/8/2005 9:26:58 AM   I've always wondered what motivated guys like Vanechka to constantly post on the negative side of life. What is the purpose? Do you have this great inner vision of saving some people from imploding on themselves? I mean really what is the point? Do you think we are so naive that we don't understand that failure is a possiblity? That eveyone here looks through life through rose colored glasses? It is very easy to articulate that failure is imminent. Though you neglect to cite the reasons why? Sure many women would stay in their home countries if the circumstances were perfect, who wouldn't. Then again, what risk would you take for a lifetime of happiness. I have this feeling you couldn't be happy no matter what. Happiness is innate, some have others do not. With that in mind, each persons definition of happiness is different. Or do you have an ax to grind, that your past failures are so absolute that everyone else is doomed to the same scenario? The misery loves company scenario. So you will shed your dissappointment with as many as possible to make yourself feel comfortable by revelling in anothers misery. What are your positive motivations in life? If you truly tried this before, instead of breeding contempt here, why don't you share the pitfalls of your relationship in a lucid manner? It is easy to go on banal diatribes and condemn people in the pursuit of a woman from the FSU. Contempt is easy, logical description isn't always so. It also boils down to personal responsibility. If you buy a car from a dealer and it is junk, is it the dealers fault that you bought it? Same with agencies. Is it the agencies fault that you bought into their line of BS? So you can continue to spew your negative attitude on life, and you may destroy some peoples visions here. You won't deter me, because I know failure is around the corner in everyday life and it is my responsibility as an individual to fend that off. Destiny is controlled by the individual and you are just one of the forces that tries to effect one's destiny. I can chose to be negative like you, or attack each day in a positive manner and let the naysayers sit on the sidelines and monday morning quarterback eveyone's lives. You need to get a life and take care of your own house before you start taking care of others. Later Mike izifaddag Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/8/2005 9:44:17 AM   Nas I am starting to not even believe that this guy is from Australia. First his name Vanechka. That sounds like some kind of FSU familiar term of affection. Next his general ability to write English and the cadence of his posts is a little 'off'. I think he is really from FSU and is pissed because women are leaving his country for real love and a better life overseas. It could be just some elaborate trick. It has happened before in the forum. There is no logic or point to his posts so why does he do it? To be annoying that is why. Nobody is buying what he says so what is the point of continuing? Absolutely none but he does anyway. This is a setup. The only thing that is a clue is the reference to Dad's Army - a 70's TV show from England. Other than that bogus I think. castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/8/2005 11:42:04 AM   according to google search, the name Vanechka is russian name meaning "god's gift"; well he certainly gifted us with his wisdom nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/8/2005 1:51:26 PM   Yep sailor he's about as sharp as a marble Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Need some help - Scammer or not?
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