Ok hold on a moment...
QuietCharm I appreciate your input here, and no I don't read all of the posts. I was trying to be nice around here and acknowledge another mans input on the topic. No finger pointing here from me, and I don't believe it was personal at all, but just to set the record straight, I am a DECENT man. I merely am weighing some options here and I don't appreciate any insinuations(if any)that I am not decent.
But I will pay more attention in the future.
I try not to judge others, and I try not to make personal attacks. I will continue these practices in the future. I don't know any of you on this board well enough to input any opinion on a personal basis.
since when does nastiness,finger pointing and condescending attacks need applause? Does anybody suppose that Toad does not have his own cross to bear? WHat is the point in trying to devalue him? Does "debunking" Toad make anybodies life fuller,more care free and void of problems? He is and has always been a character here who adds color and wit to his postings. And despite anything that has happened--maybe even more so--his posts are relevant to certain possibilities which exist in the east meets west scenario. I thought you were Quiet Charm,and not Quality Control
I've been debating over whether I should contribute on this subject. I don't have as much time as I used to for contributions. I'm married all of 2 weeks now to a wonderful woman from Ukraine. She has an 8-year-old son and I have a 5-year-old son. That's my background and my experience. Take it for what it's worth.
I'm not going to share the experiences on a public forum or offer advice to people I don't know. I think that holds little value for anyone. I will offer, however, to discuss it through private email with serious individuals. You can get the address from the post.
I will say publicly that I have been disappointed in the forum lately. Some people seem to think that it should be a playground for free speech. This forum is connected to a business and I wouldn't blame the owners one bit for editing the content. I expect them to do what they think is best for their business and not what is in our best interest, unless they happen to coincide. It would be nice, if we could focus on the original intent of the forum. I think it would give the newbies a fighting chance of actually finding the information they need, without having to wade through so much swamp water. .02
There are several such forums as this, one in particular 'RWG'. When such websites set out about 7 years ago they were a valuable tool, now 7 years later every man and his dog seems to believe he's an expert on FSU ladies thus opinions, personal opinions, get forced down another's throat. If ever I meet a man who tells me he is an expert on FSU ladies, indeed any women, I'll call him a liar to his face, the workings of a female's mind are a mystery to us all!
With particular to the other site I mentioned, and there is no offence intended here, it is by far too Americanised with too much back-slapping and 'how ya doing buddy' going on. One guy even had the stupidity to say to me one day that his buddy should know what he's talking about because he's got a beautiful lady. Since when can a guy's personal knowledge and intelligence be rated, assessed, by the physical appearance of a lady!!! His buddy was in fact talking from his ass at the time.
You'll never put a stop to disagreements on such sites nor the drifting away from the subject in hand and I think it is only reasonable that, should someone post some bad or incorrect advice, then another come along and correct it.
This does not excuse 'Vanechka' from the past few days however, if he had a point to make then he should have posted it in a single thread, he was just an attention seeker, just a sad individual really!
There is nothing in my post that suggests YOU are not a decent man. Please don't assume it. Toad and I are very different personalities and as a consequence clash from time to time. Your post was just an opportunity to express my distaste for a man who deserves little respect.
'since when does nastiness,finger pointing and condescending attacks need applause?'
You are a sensitive soul who avoids conflict. Fine. That is your prerogative but please don't tell me, I, or anyone else here, cannot express disapproval if we see fit. Toad shows no such sensitivity. Nor should he (or does he) expect any. He's a big boy, more than capable of defending himself.
This post isn't about Vanechka. He and the rest of us have already got the message.
'I will offer, however, to discuss it through private email with serious individuals'. Bravo! At last some integrity.
Why that "latin lover" came back to that board? If hes looking for new "My Lena" he must be in some scammers list for women. I think I have seen some for russian/ukrainian women. If he continues hes FFF advices, I will personally report about him. I dont belive somebody want to be "My Lena" again. But seem hes hounting again ...!To make from educated girl such a fool in that site can be only totally immoral person, poor girl hadnt defenetly enough life excperience.
I think it fair to say that many of the forum writers have their own opinions on many people here. I have been a manager before,and believe many people can use instruction with tactful word association. In my humble opinion,when ever I have encountered someone in my employ making what I consider to be poor judgements,I have always accentuated their finer points--their stronger abilities,to bolster up their feelings of self worth before I knock them down with their deficient behavior. This is why I asked Vanechka to relate to us with his intellogence,and not his caustic negativity. Because I believe every man has a point to be made. Toad has personal troubles with Lena,and has shown very gentleman -like qualities in refusing to divulge deeper and more harmful revelations about their relations. He has also divulged to what he thought were people who would support him-not lambaste him with uniformed generalities about his failure or success. It takes 2 to tango! Personally I think we make poor decisions based on our knowledge at the time. I may be sensitive,but I am also a peacekeeper with the bloodied nose and teeth to show for it. This is a forum for free speech,and I am certain that the word "forum " very much means a place where many different opinions can be aired. Even the Roman forum or British parliament(forum ) are bloodthirsty places where the whole spectrum of thought and opinion is something accompanied by booing and personal attack. I don`t give a damn if our opinions do not reflect in a "doppelganger" manner,but I also see that one of our better contributors gives color and character to this place--even if it does not ( and has not always) been a mimicry of what I believe in. As Oleg has made referrence to==it is not our sameness which makes us learn--it is our differences which gain us perspective. For Annika: The 4 Fs have been a common American cultural idealism which came out of the sexual 60s,in the era of "free love" We are a different world now,and a different America than that time. This vulgar hunting method for men who conquested women was very popular many years ago,and was meant for men who only sought out sexual gratification with loose and sexually motivated women themselves. I suspect that these women may often still be found in nightclubs,bars,and exotic dancing lounges. But for me,in that time,I still felt it was a degradation of women,and a disappointment for me too. You will only have to visit Mardi Gras to find out how promiscuity is still a very real ( and meaningless) hobby for a lot of men and women. Q C --approval or dispproval is very much your prerogative,but like a puppy who shits on the carpet,it does not work to rub his nose in it over and over again. You must catch him ( he teaches you with his raisd tail) and he actually teaches you when and how to understand the signs that he is ready to make a movement. I have enjoyed your rebuttal of my posting--I do not have the gamut on sensibility or correctness. But I will still try to treat with respect any man-friend or enemy,and it is part of my natural ability to be the diplomat. I am not ENglish,but I am also not a loutish and brutalizing American. Let the hounds come loning their plaintive howls at the suggestion of the moon. I can take it. Invite it also. I am an expert at making hostiles come to terms.
Can somebody explain me how must ordinary european or FSU person know that FFF is common expression in american culture???? I was small kid in 60ies and 27 years old Lena wasnt even planned!!!
GP..MEN here THINK that girls 20 years younger WANT to MARRY them. Most men here arent married.
I have also been a manager and know that while some will respond to benevolent direction, others require a kick up the arse. But let's give you the benefit of the doubt. Our misunderstood puppy merely needs a little encouragement and love. You seem the perfect candidate to be there the next time Toad 'shits on the carpet' to gently encourage him to make the right bowel movement.
Nonsense really. If our villain hasn't got it at his age, he's unlikely to ever get it.
Sanitising arrogance and personal abuse, particularly to the opposite sex, as 'color and character'is diplomatic horseshit and just reinforces the mediocre.
'Better contributors'? My eyes glaze over whenever I see one of Toad's 'authoritative' posts. 10-point lists which simply state the obvious. I learn nothing from them and stopped
reading them long ago.
Yes, it's an open forum. For those who are seriously seeking a wife from the FSU who can benefit from the collective experience and wisdom of those that have gone before. Peddling misinformation, filling space with irrelevencies and promoting hostility as a first, not last, response does little to encourage participation.
Since when has knowledge produced correct choices? Those who act like plonkers, know they are doing so, yet can't seem to help themselves.
Most of us in here are old enough to have wisdom. Those who know that sending money to the FSU, before meeting a lady, is risky, still do it. Or who know that a post is highly provocative, yet still send it ;-)))
I talking about making the best possible decision based on the knowledge we have at the time...
Sending money to a lady in the FSU you've never met? There's really no logic to it & I'm not sure why it is even considered by some....
I do understand what you're saying but I think it's different....
When my neice comes to me saying she needs a new car.... Of course I know she can't afford it, yes she promises to make payments & has everything worked out how she can do it... I know that something will come up & the whole thing will go bad, but I do it anyway! Why? I KNOW it's not going to pan out, I'm wise enough (because this has happened before) to know she will have a problem & I'll be out the money.... but she's someone I care about dearly... much more than I care about a few thousand dollars.... so I smile & do it anyway! :o) To be angered that the money didn't return would be wrong on my part, knowing in advance that it really won't happen.
It's much better understand that the money is a gift, and do not expect anything in return....
Anyone who has registered for these sights that is over 38 years old has received letters from women 20 years their junior. All but one I have seen says they want to find the "right" man & have a family.... I usually interpret this in one of several ways...
1) Can I sucker you into sending me some money, and then say goodbye?
2) Will you travel 9000 miles to take me shopping if I pretend to like you? My boyfriend (father) could use a new watch!
3) I'm too arrogant, or emotionally unstable, to find a man locally who will provide for me & my baby, if you're willing to get me out of here I'll come with you... But you better have MONEY!
4) I had this "Curious" relationship with my father, and now that he's not around I'm looking for someone to fill his position & take me out of this place...
5) I had to sleep with the whole football team just to be head cheerleader, I'll sleep with anyone who can get me to America, UK, or just about anywhere else.
6) If your net worth is high enough, I'll stay married to you for a little while if I can have half of it....
7) I've been crapped on by every guy I've ever met, if you're willing to treat me decent I'll go anywhere with you... I don't like my family any more than they like me. They'll be glad I'm gone. I'll have your baby... but you better not expect me to take care of it!
8) I'm actually a 52 year old woman (or 45 y.o. guy) who's writing this, and they're paying me to get more $ from you... so what do I care....
9) I realize that guys my age can't provide me with the level of security & material comfort that an older man can... since I don't want to be someones mistress here... I figured I'd find someone I could marry abroad. What do you do for work???
10)TO BE DETERMINED... I'm sure every story is different, but most wind up being the same in the end from what I can see.... of course I could be TOTALLY Wrong!
** If you've married someone 15 yrs or more your Junior & it's working, Let's hear about it...
The ONE exception that I speak of above says "I'm not ready for marriage or a relationship, (meaning she's not sleeping alone). I just want to have some fun & hopefully meet some interesting people". At least she's somewhat honest. She wants someone who can take her shopping & take her out to nice places that her boyfriend (or whatever) can't afford.
What is the largest age gap that anyone has ever heard of that actually worked??? Just curious...