I would like to give out some advice for the news guys that might come in handy in their quest. I just got back from a trip to Russia: took four days to get there. Missed first plane connection forced to stay in hotel in New York then flew onto Moscow then onto the city but forced to land at different airport because of fog. When I saw the girl that I had been corresponding with for the last year and a half she saw me like a bedraggled seadog. And since she was half my age I looked like a seadog dragged from the bottom of Davy Jones’ locker. First mistake I made was waiting so long to go and see her. Second mistake was not going first class so I could get plenty of sleep on the plane or at least taking a day and staying all night at Moscow airport hotel. In this case first impression was a killer. I can say with confidence that I don’t look my age but three days of waiting at airports, little or no sleep on cramped planes; no chance to change clothes, wash hair, didn’t help in a long shot chance. I am not as bitter about the situation as I might have been since I have an ace up my sleeve, but when playing this game one cannot cut corners. These girls are meticulous about their dress and looks and I think that many of them expect the same in the guys that they meet. Penny wise pound foolish comes to mind.
One other piece of advice is that you should not forget that many of these girls come from intact families that will be looking out for their daughters. If you find that you are older than the girl’s father you are probably in trouble. It is doubtful that he will be happy about you and his daughter hooking up.
My first trip to FSU was Tashkent, Uzbekistan. I travelled Turkish Airlines via Istanbul and for the duration of 8 days in Taskent, guess where my baggage was, yep, in Istanbul and in the heat of an Uzbek summer I had the clothes I ws standing in, no deodreant, no toothbrush etc. etc etc.
Good advice Ice, especially the part about not waiting so long to go meet in person. I might be in the minority here, but I think long correspondence is a total waste of time. I think just a few letters before meeting is enough, or even ideal.
I had a similar experience on my first trip to Omsk. I was meeting a young, beautiful girl, and I showed up after flying across the U.S. then to Warsaw, where my flight to Moscow was delayed overnight. Then to Moscow, and then overnight to Omsk. Of course, my luggage was lost from Moscow to Omsk so I showed up in Omsk in pretty bad condition too.
You are scheduled to get there the day before. You have plenty of time to check into your room, relax, adjust to jet lag (well, to start anyway) and get yourself all nice and proper for the Social.
She will see you at your best and you will see her at her best. Remember the thing about first impressions....
And if the first girl that you are intersted in sees you as a washed up old seadog - there are 200 others who might have a different opinion. You just move on.
<And urban legend about popularity of older guys collapsed again:) >
The oppositions viewpoint.
Could be the words of an older bitter woman, jealous of her younger counterparts and the men who go after them, from ANY culture. (Isn't she starting to sound like an American woman?)
I had planned on giving myself a day to get settled in because of a post I had seen in another thread about a guy who arrived (not sure "who" right off hand) and the agency wanted him to meet with a girl right away that night. But you make a very clear point about "First Impression" Ice.
Threads like this point out things to consider, that those who've "never been" would not normally consider until it's too late and the whole thing is wrecked.....
What about dealing with father's & family members? I understand the protocol here in the US for dealing with a woman's father & family, but are there different things to consider regarding the father's "head-ship" in Ukraine & Russia? Particularly things that they would take immediate offense to, or would be considered un-forgivable?? I'm sure the line I will be crossing is not only one drawn in the sand by Governments, but also one that is cultural and changes slightly depending on the area and people. I guess what I'm asking is if anyone has experiences to share of definate "Do's" & "Dont's" in dealing with the members of a woman's family??? How do you deal with a brother or uncle who does not like the idea of your visit... because they are either anti-American, or you are Not-Russian (Ukrainian, Orthodox Christian, Etc...)??? What impacts have these factors had on the relationship between you and the woman??
Yes I think Im really jelaous. I dreamed all my life my boyfriend will be man who works in post-office and now he got so young and beautiful moldovan. What an awful loss! Im soo bittered. And what a nice gentleman was Toad! But I think Ill survive?
Annika - Yes I work for the US Postal Service. And I barely skimp by, because I only make about as much as your god does (your electrical engineer British Boyfriend). You mentioned his salary in another post.
I shared my bed with a beautiful, gorgeous, head-turning 25 year old Moldovan - for three months, who is still interested in getting married whenever I want to.
Ann: I really don't know what your trip is, but the fact is that you don't belong on this board. You sound like a Russian man trying to save your Russian women from overseas men. Nothing is as simple like you want to make it; I was aware of all the dangers of going into this venture, but broke the second rule of not seeing the girl in first three or four months. Some guys on this quest are no good but many are decent guys; just like some younger females listed on this site and other sites are looking for a quick way out of their problems.
Everybody knows what I think but I will repeat. Letter writing is a waste of time. The only reason for a letter is to say I am going to !@#$ in !@# for X weeks can I have your phone number. That is it.
her first impression of me was a deal breaker, short guy with clothes that made me look ever shorter, everything clean and I was clean but classic "no style". We have exchanged emails and photos and now when I return in two weeks, I will be dressed more in fashion.
As for letter writing, it worked for me, still does.
It is a personal thing. Mine is made up of personal experience but I critcise nobody. Letters and socials whatever works. It is all good just choose your favorite weapon and start.