Further stuff has come up about Marina that you are not aware of and trust me she is playing games.
I am indeed very stupid.
That is why I allowed myself to get into the situation I have in the past. BUT the good thing is I have learned:)) You are just another little feminazi exactly like your Baltic friends. That isn't what I am looking for. I am looking for a wife. She has roles and I have roles. There is nothing that a woman can do that I cannot except give birth. I am fully capable (and willing)of cooking , cleaning and ironing shirts.
BUT
I am not going to be the one holding down a job, bringing in the money, running the house AND doing all the housework so she can watch TV and swan around with her friends.
Is that what you are going to do with Mr Wealthy Boyfriend?
Jet has his own problems and does not need to be brought into this leave him alone.
As for me being a 'nice guy'. Yes I have been. Too nice. That is the problem. So it stopped and I would never in a million years be interested in a woman like you. Any woman who wants to be a 'queen' or 'pampered' or 'spoiled' can get stuffed. This is what is available in America.
Why on earth should I go to FSU to find one like that?
No I am looking for a woman, not a cleaner, a female that knows what being a wife is and can actually fulfill that role. You on the other hand are apparently playing games. 3 years and he comes to visit you every 6 weeks? Come on what a joke.:))
So Annika I am not a nice guy. I am not rich and I am not taking drugs.
Marina is still alone and will remain that way. She is not looking for money she is looking for someone to push around (a bit like you), we could never have worked out because she doesn't know how to keep a house clean for herself let alone a family. You think I am going to do it while I am working and she suns herself by the pool or watches soap operas? No absolutely not.
This worm has turned.
She will do as I say and that will be done in a civilized, respectful way. When she can be equal she will be equal. Until then I shall be a typical Victorian husband. Too bad if you don't like it.
Izi,
During my work in the past week someone phoned me upon a recommendation of 'phone Martin, he calls a spade a spade'. I had to laugh but it's true, I tell the truth, I tell it how it is and without necessarily saying what the other wants to hear.
That's what I've been doing here and it seems one or more have become offended by the truth, but that's what it is, the truth. Izi, you are entering into this venture on a restricted budget, furthermore you are looking for a very special lady, such a lady as you describe will be extremely difficult to find and even more difficult to retain once you've found her.
What is likely to happen is that you will have a number of failed meetings, eroding your already restricted budget, and should you eventually find 'your' lady then your budget is not going to allow you to see the process through. You'd be better off building your budget until you, believe, you have more than enough to see the process through, at present you're going to get only part of the way around the track, you're going to fall over a hurdle and you're not going to be able to complete the race.
Personally, I don't care what you do, as they say 'I'm alright Jack', I'm just giving you some sound advice, whether you choose to listen or not is up to you.
Martin
You do not know what my budget is and do not understand this whole picture. Frankly you are just plain and simply wrong.
Just for fun because Annika pissed me off I ran an excel spreadsheet and plugged in current numbers and expenditure for 2005. I calculated some averages and percentages and got what my spendable cash was for this year. Next year will pretty much be an identical picture.
Actually I am better off than I thought I was. I have been to FSU twice this year and am going a third time in November. All without incurring any further debt. Massive juggling yes but not any further debt.
Apparently you have missed something in the thread. It turns out that I have enough money for her to go back every year. It isn't desirable to the budget but do-able. Not twice though, the airfare is just too restrictive. I am not living in Britain and cannot have the luxury of a $350 airfare. If I did she could go every 2 months.
Don't worry mate I also am 'alright jack'.
When she comes over here there will be all kinds of hidden expenses that I cannot even begin to predict. However after the first year when she begins to bring in a little money and a clearer picture develops I think I will be able to judge what is happening better. The process of bringing her over and the first year settling period clouds everything. Also in my present case there is a little guy to be taken into consideration.
OK now having said that let us look at the positive side. Firstly there is a huge tax benefit that I shall receive. Also (thank god) the tech industry has perked up in America/Florida and I can almost certainly obtain a job that will give me about 25% pay increase in another part of the state. I would also yield a bunch of money from the sale of my house and some other stuff.
If I did not think I could afford this I would not be doing it. I know what I am doing. I do not work at MacDonalds as some who have posted here, I do not make $22,000 as some who have posted here and I am not a kid as some who have posted here.
I am very sensible. I am cautious. I am a planner and a worrier.
I want a partner not a whiner. For any woman that decides that she wants to go and marry a guy from the USA (or Australia or NZ for that matter) SHE needs to a lot of soul searching. It is not a 5 minute plane ride from Gatwick. Each trip is a major undertaking not just with money but also stress and doubled if with a small child.
She needs to understand that the wealth of the family is also her wealth. It is in her best interests to also be conservative and prudent with money.
I have laid groundwork and put plans into place that take care of all the eventualities that I can think of. My close friends know this because I have bent their ears about it.
My end is covered but is hers? There seems to be a thought here that I am poverty stricken. I am not. I am not rich that is another ballgame. I do not have a yacht or BMW. I have a large 2 bedroom condo and a brand new Mazda minivan. I am in the process of renovating the condo. A forum member even came over last weekend to help me with some tiling work.
I want someone who is dedicated to making a new life and a marriage work in the USA not Ukraine. If she wants that she can stay there. Apparently these women want out of Dodge. Ok fine then there is a price to be paid. Most men are just like me. In fact I would say that probably Jet and I are about equal. We are pretty much the run of the mill type guys that are looking for a wife in FSU.
Not rich, not broke, stable and functional. Able to engineer something to happen and looking towards the future.
Those that make $75K a year and more do not have to worry about these concerns they have tons of spendable cash and can let their wives do whatever they want. That would not be me.
She needs to make a decision because she loves me not because of what she can get out of it as Annika suggested. A "welfier and more educated" guy:))
No I want a wife not a woman that is dragging so much baggage with her that she needs to go back to mummy and daddy 3 times a year. That isn't going to happen. I need her to make a commitment to stay with me and work on building here not funneling money back to over there.
I am thinking that what is probablty going to happen is that she will go back to visit her parents once a year for about 1 month. It will depend totally on circumstances. Each year it will change and each year a new approach will be needed.
I will not be giving this up or "eroding your already restricted budget". What cock!
Annika,
Please realise that you are fortunate enough to have a man that respects you, indeed respects women, and that's all I'm saying on the subject.
M
I assume that you are saying that JMO and myself do not respect women. Naturally you do!
You have totally missed all the points that have been brought up.
I respect women. I also realize that I am being sized up, weughed, valued and decided upon.
Apparently that is a one way street. Only women are allowed this privilege.
Wrong!
I do this also and for the exact same reasons.
Izi,
I obviously touched a nerve regarding a statement that was not directwd, directly, at you.
Please come back and tell me that I have missed the points in this thread whereas yourself & JMO have, deliberately, played the 'Male Chauvenist's'?
And ..... Please tell me where you can get in a 5 minute plane ride from Gatwick? Please let me educate you, Heathrow is 8 minutes with a staight in approach on runway 28, Biggin Hill is 8 minutes, Shoreham is 15 minutes and Redhill is 4 minutes, taking off from Gatwick runway 08, but only for aircraft capable of landing on grass. Dunsfold would have been another option but they closed it!
Firstly the term 'chauvinism' (that is the correct spelling) derives from Nicolas Chauvin a French political extremist and has absolutely nothing to do with this conversation.
I know what is being meant by this phrase and it refers to unsubstantiated male dominance purely from the fact that one is actually male. This is of course ridiculous the same as black people are no more inferor to white people.
I am not a supporter of unsubstatiated male dominance. It is ludicrous. JMO will have to speak for himself. I am what is commonly called the piper.
Are you familiar with the phrase "He who pays the piper calls the tune"?
That is the situation.
I am completely familiar with where both Gatwick and Heathrow are. I was speaking metaphorically so please do not be obtuse. You know what I meant exactly as I know what you mean when refering to 'Male Chauvenist's'.
Getting from Britain to Ukraine is a doddle compared to flying from anywhere in America. Let alone having to filter through JFK which is the norm for many of us. You have a giant advantage over anyone from either the USA, Canada, NZ or Oz.
It is far more difficult and expensive and frankly I do not understand your basis for criticism of either JMO or myself or any of the others here that have commented on this and agreed. Popping over from the UK is a snap. From Miami it is not and a darn sight more expensive. You have no call to judge any of this. I have stated my position that is it there is nothing further to be said. It is what it is. I am not going to change my mind and the British geography lesson is redundant.
Incidentally the best way to get from Fort Lauderdale to Miami International Airport is to drive to the Tri Rail station off Sunrise. Then you can get a public bus into the airport. They are timed to coincide with the arrival of the trains. There is also easy access from I595 via I95 or even the Florida Turnpike.
Martin now I truly understand why your wife still lives in Ukraine. If she had to be with you everyday she would be charged with domestic homicide.
Also don't try to enlighten anyone here on being a gentleman, let alone how americans are. You don't know me and you don't know shit about real american men. You have an anti-american sentiment, and that's fine, but go pound salt up your european friends asses, this is one american that won't put up with to much of your shit. So you have a passport so what, how many times have you been to America? You know american women, yeah I bet you do. You don't know anymore about american women than I do about women in Zimbabwe. So save your expert analysis for some other forum where you can bullshit them on your expertise of american women.
This is the main reason why I don't post much here anymore, to many idiotic hacks that think they have the answer for everything. JMO said it best, you act like a bitch, you've always got to have the last word.
Aha,
One is not allowed to speak the truth on this forum, I am flamed for it. Annika is flamed for it, now we're really getting into it, aren't we gentlemen, that if you are gentlemen!
I do not have an anti-American, African, Asian or whetever and unlike 70% of one population, I do have a passport and I have travelled and I also understand that 85% of Americans have never stepped foot outside of USA!
And Nasfan, I cannot count the times I have been to USA but it was up to 8 times in 1 year including twice in a single day (24 hours), that is I left Tampa, via Bangor to London, 2 hours in London, then back to LAX so please don't question if I have travelled.
I have little knowledge of dating American women, I have never said nor indicated otherwise, and to reiterate Izifaddag, HAVE YOU ATTEMPTED TO READ THIS THREAD BEFORE TALKING OUT OF YOUR FOCKING ASS?
If the last word is to be defined as correctng such an idiotic statement as yours, well fock me, bring back Vanechka, all is forgiven, he was right all along about Americans.
Americans?.... Damn, NOW what did we do Martin?.....
Would it help if we say "We're Wrong & We're Sorry... but it's probably going to happen again..."
:o)
Izi;
I think you are on the right track by stating "expendable" income, but saying someone who makes $75,k has plenty of expendable or disposable income? I have a good friend who makes about twice that, but by the time he's paid for the house, cars, boats, country club, lake home, kids stuff, & wife's nasty habits, etc... the guy can barely afford to buy himself a beer for a job well done. As far as I can tell, it's not what you make, it's what you spend to maintain your standard of living.... Once the house & a few toys are paid off, things start looking different....
Mindwire,
Unless in the case of somelike like 1-2-3-4 etc. who comes here preaching about 'Good old USA' or someone naive who talks as if the whole world is American what exactly have I said, that is so wrong, about Americans?
I don't believe I have said anything 'racist' but I stand to be corrected. If you're referring to 70% without passports & 85% having never travelled internationally, well that was a word for word quote from a recent statement on UK TV by John McEnroe who I understand to be American.