First off, thanks to the couple of guys who gave me some direction just a few nights ago......contacted admin. Problem solved. Appreciated. However, as an inexperienced site user, thoughts please. I am amazed at how attractive some of the ladies are. It almost seems impossible to believe that they are looking for partners on the Internet. Why? Is there are shortage of guys in their own countries? Are they scammers - I am just becoming familiar with the phrase - or are they genuine? Are there any signs to look out for? How bad is the scamming problem? The lady in question is very polite and whilst starting each letter with my name, her letters seem very generic and, to date, have failed to answer my various questions. Another paranoid or am I being rightfully carefully.
The Kee
People scam for different reasons-emotional,financial,or outright fraud. You have probably been given "canned" letters. These substitute other people`s names in the heading and closing of the letter . This is good for an introduction,but not for ongoing relations. Be direct,and expect the same sincerity in conversation/communication,whether you are questioning or replying. Expect the same in return! Insist on mutual relations and if she is not sincere,she will go on ignoring pointed questions,even trying to ride over your queries with her own needs and desires,or hints that she needs money. To be scammed is to ignore your own needs! Look for growth of intimacy,and reciprocal interest. You may want to do a search on the name too,and see how many sites she is in,and if her name comes up in any scam sites.
Kee,
Do not hesitate to let her and others know you are naturally in contact with several other women but encourage her to open up honestly to find if there is enough common ground to build a real friendship that may lead to something serious.
It's nonsense to begin correspondence focusing on topics like romance, money, detailed sex exploits and other touchy or intimate subjects.
Anyone who repeatedly ignores your questions deserves to be ditched like a bad habit.
She's clearly too busy with other men, does not like you that much (heck, it can happen you know..:) or maybe a scammer.
Keep in mind that there are many many many more FSU ladies available than there are western men interested in them.
Spend some time reading through the informative posts, even if it mean having to filter through the caca it's often thrown among the members, lol...
Of course there are real women on here but I do think that you must move away from the side of caution and doubt caused by reading horror stories of what has happened to some guys. This process is neither for the faint hearted nor for the cheapskate.
You are all gentlemen. Thanks for the advice. Really helpful when you've not trodden this road before. Interestingly I sent an e-mail to one lady to the effect of 'are you who you say you are?' along with lots of questions of course, and a somewhat indignant reply came back saying "how can you imply such a thing" and "what must I do to prove myself". Maybe that's a good response in as much that it certainly prompted a personal reply? That said, many of my numerous questions still remain unanswered from the lady who has had 500 replies since joing the site!!! We'll see!
Kee,
There is a certain sense of useless and somewhat unimportant male pride to know a woman chooses us from among 500 other men who want her...but common, mate. Why bother with someone who is clearly having too much fun with 100s of correspondents?
Good point my friend, maybe momentary ego gets in the way! Then, of course, you read a profile, see some common threads, a beautful woman and think 'maybe?'. Rightly or wrongly it's my perception that the FSU women seem to go for older guys. What do you think? Clearly many are very attractive and to the average UK mindset you tend to think 'no chance' but am I right in saying that women out number men in the FSV and have a greater interest in Western men. What are their motivators in your opinion - poverty, money, nicer men in the West?
Kee
No, I beleive the majority of FSU women would rather find a good man in their homeland so they can stay there close to family and friends.
However the amount of women who are seriously interested in western men far outnumber the western men willing and able to go find themselves a good woman in another country.
FSU is not the only foreign region with women willing to emigrate. Asia and latin america are just as popular.
Kee,
This is just an example.
I know a russian woman married to a great guy in his 30s.
They live nearby with his 2 kids.
She's been here for almost 5 years now.
He told me last weekend that his wife's latest project for the last 6 months is to "corral" every single one of her female college and high school classmates to encourage them to put their ads in the same websites and agencies she did.
Her point is that she is so happy with the "second life" opportunity she was given that she wants all the girls she knows to try it, at least.
The factors you mention may be of some importance, but I think that 'word of mouth referrals' from people they know and are living in the west happily ought to be one of the strongest and fastest growing factors.
toad
I think Toads points are very valid but I think that the main reason that women wish to find a foreign husband is as old as time itself.
They want OUT!!
It is a simple and if done right a pain free escape from a life of poverty and zero future.
Family is one thing but friends generally come and go. I left England 21 years ago and do not regret for one second leaving. Once again it was poverty and zero future in Britain that motivated me among other things.
Women have used their looks to make 'good' marriages forever and this is merely another face to the same phenomena.
We western men try to make this palatable by coming up with all kinds of fluffy reasons that generally just koocheekoo our own egos. The websites are not stupid they pander to this. I love Elena Petrovas story - if you believe any of it. Or if even she deep down does.
However having said all this I do not criticize. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of this so long as everybody knows what he/she is doing. Zero harm done and frankly a marriage that seems to be banged out right up front seems to do better.
It would seem that the romances that blossom on a college lawn don't do so well down the road. To be honest I have absolutely no idea why, but it does seem to be the way of it.
I guess what I am saying is that we would do best not to stroke ourselves over this and heartily recognize the massive practical motivational side to all of this. Not just on the women's part but also the men.
There is not chance in hell that I could find a slim, beautiful woman that (if I play my cards right) will love me and care about me who is 15 years my junior in America. Maybe if I was Donald Trump or Bill Gates but otherwise I had better look abroad.
There this can be done. She gets a better chance in life and maybe a leg-up for her family and I get all of the above.
THEN if one gets REALLY lucky you might just bump into somebody that will love you purely for you and all the other stuff is incidental. Personally I think that is rare but this forum speaks of success stories of that type over and over and so who am I to pull it down. I wouldn't think of it.
What I am saying is let us not kid ourselves.
For all our striking of the Vanechkas and 1234's there is an element of truth in what they say. It is carried to an extreme but nevertheless it is there. We kid only ourselves to deny it completely.
Kee, forget meeting gals on the web. Profiles, letters and pictures mean nothing. Find a tour you like and GO !!! Stay away from the real young gals too. No matter how hot they are, the 18-22 year old crowd are just a waste of your time.
o.k well i'm very new to this so i was wondering if i could get some advice.i'm 24 and i feel a little young to be doing this, but i have a few friends who have had great success with russian women.i don't really want a women who is younger than me so do you really think that the 18-22 group is a "waste of time".and one other question is their a big differance betweem russian and ukraine women. thanks for any help
24 is indeed too young.
Give it another 10 years and try again.
The really young girls are a waste of time just as Vegas says.
Yes I believe there is a difference between Russian and Ukrainian women. The poorer and less sophisticated the woman is the more serious and motivated she is. There are more areas that are not developed in Ukraine so the conclusion is obvious.
You cannot think that a woman in St Petersburg is the same as a woman the same age etc in Kherson.
Moscow cannot be compared to Odessa. 2 different things.
I think that the women in Ukraine are less nonsense prone although they are women after all is said and done and every woman breathing will throw a hissy fit now and then just to let you know it can be done:)
Go monkey around in the world for a bit and work on your career then find a nice Ukraine/Russian girl. There is time.
thanks for your response. i still think i'm going too try it now,i always said i was going to married by time i was 25.i've done alot of research on this and this is the only forum i have found . i have one more question for anyone who thinks they can help.i have about a year and a half before i finish school and since i'm in school now my income is about 40k a year.what is a rough estimate on how much this process is i.e lawyers,paper work and such.i don't want it to seem like i'm trying to buy a wife but as in life nothing is free. one more thing i'm suppose to meet my lady in febuary, and say things go well how long does this pain in the butt visa take. thanks agian for any help
I am sure that most part russian or ukranian (more often) try to find a man from West because of money. It's natural for some women, but some of them try to find in a western man something that she can't find in russian ones. You are may be more attentive (i don't know), you are not so shy as russians can be (not all of them, of course), more determined and ambitious...it's my opinion, i can be mistaken
You hit two of them correctly. One is the attention I give my lady, two she does like my desire to succeed and my ambition, not only for success but to give her a good life and the third which is huge for her, is I rarely drink.
Nas
We have something in common !!!
My Lena prioritizes in similar order and I also do not drink.
But getting back to the above – probably 70% of Lena’s friends back in Kiev wanted to know about my work – car – property portfolio etc. They were amazed that Lena knew little about these things before committing to the relationship.
You chaps need to realize that just like US – Aussi – NZ etc, there will always be those that have priorities in different variants and orders !!!!!
The BIG advantage with the FSU is – the pool of single eligible women is HUGE compared to any other part of the world (except perhaps parts of Asia)
When starting on this FSU adventure – you chaps need to be patient – take your time qualifying and weeding out the “gold diggers” and opportunists.
You need to develop a technique in your communications that gives you answers and information to allow you to make accurate judgment before committing. Because once you do commit – it’s a very expensive exercise and a lot of time can be lost. Life is too short for that at our stages of life !!!!!!