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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > How to start? Author Post Jeffrey728 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/24/2005 9:27:21 PM   I am new to the arena of looking for a wife online. Should I just visit the countries and attend the so called socials? Is it better to find someone here and then go and meet them? Are there many who are just interested in money or a Visa and how will I stay clear or identify them? Any constructive help would be greatly appreciated and by the way has anyone actually found their better half here? Regards, Jeff wmferg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/24/2005 10:53:18 PM   Jeff, I am not sure if you can say that letter writing is better or worse than socials. Each one has its own drawbacks and advantages. It will primarily depend on your personality. I personally have had great success with writing letters. I have met and asked a Ukrainian lady to marry me and she accepted and we are doing the paperwork now. I do not believe I would have liked the social atmosphere at all. That being said, jmo and jetmba swear by the social method. As far as the scammers go, there has been much information written here about various methods they use to part you from your hard earned cash. You did not mention what country you are from, but if you are in the US there are some things to know. The chances of a young single woman from the FSU getting a tourist visa to enter the US are very slim, not impossible, but not likely. So if she asks for money for a visa her friend can get for her it is most likely a scam. The golden rule is do not send money to someone you have not met personally. She has done fine before meeting you and a proper lady would not ask a stranger for money. My lady has a difficult time asking for funds to defray the costs she incurs doing the process for her visa and we plan to be married. If you are an American you will have to go and visit her in her country and have dated photographic proof you were there as part of the visa process. The best advice to avoid the scammers is to think with your big head and not the little one. You should be well funded for this. It can and probably will cost you around 10k USD before she is sitting on your couch watching the latest episode of Lost. Bill Kiska Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 9:05:19 AM   Bill, how right you are!!!! But i have also a question. Why do foreign me, trying to find russian women, finally marry UKRANIAN????? Katya Kiska Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 9:06:30 AM   oops, sorry "foreign men" spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 10:46:11 AM   I think the intention is to find a FSU/CIS woman,not necessarily Russian,Latvian,Estonian,or Lithuanian. Personally, for me,she can be from any ethnicity under the right circumstances and conditions. I have heard and read so much about socials,but still do not understand how this cannot be a degrading experience for a woman,unless she is a professional dater. How,for example can anybody feel if they are considered to be a second or third choice ? Or if a man has chosen a woman,but wants to play with them all before making his decision? I also do not understand how this can endear a western man like myself to a woman endowed by the very qualities I seek,when it is a "meat market" athmosphere which is based on money for relations. I would be very interested to know how you feel about this,Katya. wmferg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 11:08:44 AM   Katya, I am not sure that I fully understand your question. I know personally I did not set out to specifically find a Russian, Ukrainian, or Moldavian etc… for a wife. I was mostly just interested in an Eastern European lady. As it turned out both ladies that I visited were Ukrainian but it was not a conscience decision. It would appear from some of the posts that I have read here over the past couple of years that some will refer to “Russian” when they actually mean “FSU”. Bill Jeffrey728 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 1:28:58 PM   Yes, I am American. Not afraid to travel as I work out of my laptop mostly. Have not traveled to the Ukraine or Russia thou and am very uneducated about the countries. Why would they be interested in Western men? I put up the worst picture I had of myself and got a few Messages still (are they scammers). I'm tempted to just forget about all this but still hope of finding a caring person to be my best friend and better half but it seems I may be a little too parnoid about all this. wmferg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 2:05:07 PM   Jeff, It is difficult to have just one answer to your question, the reasons for looking abroad for a husband are varied, maybe Katya could give you some insight. I have only met two ladies in person, both Ukrainian, so anything I would say would be anecdotal at best. Also I think you will find different reasons depending on the age group. I am 55 and concentrated my search to ladies over 40 preferably over 45. Both ladies I met did not care where their husband was from, just that they would go to work every day, not drink excessively, and wished a strong family life. In both cases this seemed to be a difficult task locally. With both ladies they offered that if I could find a way to make a living in their hometown, they would prefer to have me relocate to Ukraine, so they were not looking for a ticket out. You will find that these women put more emphasis on personality than visual attributes. If you can afford the tariff to do this, it is most likely you can find a woman that will love you in a manner that you would have a difficult time finding in the US. My advice would be to be careful, but do not start jumping at shadows. There really are not rattlesnakes under every rock. Bill Kiska Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 2:42:27 PM   Well, Spirit. I understand what u mean, but i really do not understand either how women stand the fact "to be a second or third choice". If you need my own opinion, i am such kind of girl who needs a man from the very beginning (without any choice)or i just don't want to continue our relations. You know, i am learning languages in University (StP), there are a lot of foreign students. And some of them think that if a girl is russian she will do everything just to marry him and go abroad. Surely, there are such kind of girls. It depends on a woman, on her self-esteem, her assurance. I just notice that women (usually ukranian, i don't want to offend them, but that's what i see)who want to go abroad, they even do not see what he feels to her. It's awful. I hate how some foreigners behave here... If we take "love" into account, as to me, if i would have real feelings to a man (i had the same expirience with an American), i wouldn't stand it either. Kiska Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 2:44:44 PM   Bill, I misunderstood you. Sorry, for some reason or other i thought that you meant a russian girl. My mistake nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 5:14:29 PM   Kiska It isn't all that simple for them to come here. Larissa has chosen to come, but it was great difficulty in her decision. What some forget here, that not all the women want to jump at the first opportunity to move abroad. It is an extremely difficult decision to move from a place you have known all your life, then to relocate to a land with foreign customs, language and way of life. Also I am one that agrees with you about a first,second and third choice. That decision can be made before you even arrive. I did not and would not have a backup plan if my meeting with Larissa had failed. Also the men here need to understand that the probability of another man writing the lady of their interest is happening. When I went to Ukraine, I went to visit Larissa only. If it wouldn't have worked out the worse thing I could have done was tour the country and see things I had never seen before in my life. Having a backup plan to me is disengenuous and very disrespectful to the lady. The last 18 months I have written, called and visited one lady only. The best decision of my life. Later Mike nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 5:17:29 PM   Also, if she would have wanted to immediately come to America, without establishing a normal relationship first, that would have questioned her sincerity about the whole relationship. Kiska Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 5:57:41 PM   Mike I didn't mean that all women from Ukraine want to jump at the first opportunity. I just have met such kind of women in my life (unfortunately). They were very bad friends, who needed something from me. Well, about men. All that i have mentioned is my real point of view to the question. I didn't want to offend anyone. I just expressed my feelings. Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 6:29:42 PM   Nasfan, you said: Having a backup plan to me is disengenuous and very disrespectful to the lady. The last 18 months I have written, called and visited one lady only. You are so NORMAL person. With normal attitude to life. Where on the earth can I find the similar men for my girl friend? She is 39, very slim and beautiful. She is in America now and wants to come back to my hometown in Siberia. I am trying to explain her that there is not any decent job here. She does not want to listen. HELP. spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 7:28:23 PM   And I thank you,Kiska for your straightforward and honest reply to my simple question.I have posed other honest questions to other people in this forum,and been ignored. This says to me something about your character as a human being and as a woman. I realize that all people are different,but I very much believe that there are people who will take any opportunity to go abroad,regardless if they have made a connection with a person or not. You notice that I say "person" rather than directing this opinion towards a woman or man. This is because,although I believe that people from FSU have been brought up with traditional values which used to be more visible in the US, there are also people who are opportunists who live all over the world. If you were willing to pay for a man to come to your country,there would be a long line of such opportunist men willing to catch the next flight out of town. The same can be said about the person who is not normally a thief,but if they see something and can take it without being caught,they will. I very much agree with you, the behavior of many western men is shameful and embarassing to me. I can write on and on about this subject. I have been around so many men,especially while working,who spoke disrespectfully,or in sexual terms about their wives or girlfriends. Or spoke about women as if they were inanimate objects subject to being controlled and dictated to by men. I have seen and experienced much in my life,but am still shocked and disgusted by this kind of behavior. In this forum we have discussed how people are brought up in family--how they were taught to carry on as adults. And if I can respond to Bagira,there are still many men who have the most noble of intentions regarding women--all women. All people,really. Your friend is probably homesick. I watch a man and observe how it is he treats his mother or other women. I would never dare to tell my mother to " shut up",and when I hear other people speak like this and even worse, mostly young men--I want to backhand them across their mouths,but this type of behavior is learned over time,and taught or tolerated by weak parents. Do not worry about seeming offensive to some people. Your feelings are valid,and your polite manner is much to your credit! nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 10:35:13 PM   Kiska, no offense taken. There are idiots in both genders. And I have little respect for men who treat women as second class citizens. Larissa is my equal and my partner in life. She will have my respect always. Her committment to me, by coming to the US to be my wife deserves every ounce of devotion, attention and respect I can muster for her. I truly understand her sacrifice to come here to be with me. It is very humbling to me, that a woman would give up everything she knows and has been all her life for the chance at love and happiness. Also I knew you didn't mean women from Ukraine, or where ever they may be from. Bagira, there are many men in this country that still carry the old fashioned values to heart. Where the woman is central in their universe, and everything to them. Also I don't know if I were you that I would want to get involved with being a match maker for your friend. Where does your friend live at in the states now? Maybe the location she is living in isn't too good for finding a down to earth mate. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/25/2005 10:41:21 PM   Oh, Bagira, I'm not a normal person I own guns. I am a hot headed idiot that is just waiting for the opportunity to shoot someone. I think tomorrow I will go down to the post office and slaughter a family of five. Ooops Sorry Jetmba, don't worry I won't come to Wisconsin, too expensive, since Bush and Cheney and all their oil buddys have made it to expensive to take my rampage north to Wisconsin. I've also got to find a way to blame Haliburton for this too. Only Joking Bagira. Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/26/2005 1:12:07 AM   And she also has a gun. She said that then she saw a snake near her house she took a gun and shoot. Be careful. Who knows what arsenal a family of five is usually carrying. Nasfan, Go anywhere but do not go to ..... My friend lives there. But she definitely decided to go back to Russia. I do not understand it. In Russia it is much harder to find a normal man over 35. I am a good matchmaker. I have found a husband to one of my friend. Their kid is at school already. Kiska Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/26/2005 4:48:43 PM   Spirit, i am glad that my answer helps to realize some things, to see them from other side :) Kiska Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/26/2005 4:50:55 PM   Nas, you know it's such a rarity when you meet a person too close to you. It's nice of you to appreciate it. Good luck, Mike! Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > How to start?
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