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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Urgent !! How to respond?? Author Post Jeffrey728 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 3:41:30 AM   I guess I am too close to this to get the message it isconveying. Can anyone spread light on what is acceptable and not and the options at this point if this was you. Please dont elaborate too much as this is very personal but it is pivital to my understanding if we are to continue in our relationship. I write that I want to come to her city and Date her She Writes me Yes, I would like, that you have arrived to me and that you could get acquainted with me and my parents. But there is one problem. I can not accept you because in Russia there is a tradition: the girl should not start up the man in the house if she is not familiar with parents of the of the man. I obey this tradition and that we could create with you happy family to me it is necessary to arrive to you and to get acquainted with your parents. At us and all inhabitants of our city know small city each other by sight and if you will arrive to me that all of me will despise and speak about me poorly. It is a shame for my parents, and they against you came to me. They agree to accept you if I shall get acquainted with your parents. I very much want that you have arrived to me, but I can not go against will of the parents. I hope for your understanding. With love and hope for continuation in our attitudes !!! help me understand this please as I am lost to what it means!!! spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 4:40:37 AM   ..but the parents have no problem sending their ( beautiful probably?) daughter halfway around the world to a guy they have never met? How would they ever know you are not Jack the Ripper? How would they know you are not a gangsta going to pimp her off in NYC? Sounds like the money request will be coming soon.. spirittraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 4:42:23 AM   you should ask her to talk to your parent(s) on the phone TwoSocks Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 5:25:55 AM   I think what she's trying to say to is that if your parents would get to know her parents, then her parent would agree to you traveling there to see their daughter. Don't take her the wrong way, she obviously likes you! She's just bound by tradition at this point. It is kind of funny that she never mentioned any of this before. What?, did she think that it was never going to go this far? I don't mean to be negative but is there really a young girl behind these messages that are being sent to you? Or someone else? Like the other guy said, he had an excellent point! If ther are any requests for any moneies changing hands, DON'T BE A FOOL and think that by sending money that it's going to get you anything except a broken heart and an empty wallet. If she asks for money fot whatever reason, i'd seriously rethink who it is you're dealing with and cut ties and walk! Ask someone who you can trust about it. See what they have to say. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 6:03:55 AM   It's leading to the ticket & visa scam. Ask her how she would like to proceed and I'll bet you a beer that she proposes she comes to you and she already knows the prices of the ticket & visa which you will need to send to her via Western Union. By all means play her along but please report back here! And for focks sake, don't send any money. Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 6:31:18 AM   Yes in small towns everybody knows everybody, and the reputation of the whole family may suffer if a man and a woman start living together without being engaged or married. In bigger towns, all this is much easier. In this situation parents should give their agreement, and the couple may live together. Of course some couples may go against parents' will, but this is not a very good idea. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 6:56:09 AM   Ptichka, Whoever mentioned living together? Jeffrey is only talking of dating her, not shagging her! I don't know, some peoples minds!! wmferg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 7:21:28 AM   It sounds to me like Ptichka is probably right in her assumption. Where Jeff's lady writes "the girl should not start up the man in the house if she is not familiar with parents of the of the man" and also "we could create with you happy family to me it is necessary to arrive to you and to get acquainted with your parents." It sounds like she is saying that they are not going to sleep together until she meets his parents. I would ask for some claification from her on this Jeff. I have been at this for two years now and have not had a lady respond in such a way. Maybe Martin is right and she is setting you up for a visa scam. She needs to know that she will not be able to get a visa to America until after you have visited her and can prove it with photos, plane tickets and such. Jeffrey728 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 7:41:24 AM   Thanks for all your reply's and advice. I am very interested in her but this threw me for a loop. I am only asking to Date her at this time and I will stay at a hotal or apartment while we date. I am looking for a long term relationship and see this as the only way to get to know somone I would consider getting serious with) Should I send my parents for a 3 week vacation first to get them all to know one another (my parenats might get a kick out of that and they wont mind if their spending my money)?? Just seems wierd to me and yes I dont want to get scammed if thats the case here. When I told here of my confusion she said a friend got a visa and still living in US 3 years now and has 2 kids already (I asked if I could talk to them and hear from their experience but have no reply yet.) I will continue with glass half full outlook and see what happens next. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 8:30:25 AM   Jeffrey, You need to dangle some bait, often, under a scammer's nose, to bring them out into the open. Presuming that you are in USA she will never get a visa to come to you until the 2 of you have met in person, she will know that. Lead her on to the effect is she suggesting that you meet in the USA first and ask her for her thoughts regarding this. castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 10:01:06 AM   This could be a scam or it could be real, don't insult her to much trying to determine if a scam. This is a very traditional superstitious culture and they think and act very differently from other cultures. Worldtraveller Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 10:17:25 AM   jeff, never heard about such a tradition. i tend to agree with martin. what would be, if you havn´t parents anymore??? may i ask you from which region/city your girl comes from? wt Ptichka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 10:35:58 AM   Well if the idea is only in dating...still many of us have the tradition to meet with man's parents and to introduce the man to girl's parents. This is the sign that people don't hide each other from their families, so it shows that their relation tends to be serious. Of course not after the first date:) But if the couple dates for a couple of months, this is thought to be a good idea, to introduce each other to each other's parents:) Jeffrey728 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 11:02:34 AM   She Lives in Kazan. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 1:22:22 PM   Jeffrey, You need to dangle a carrot under the donkey's nose, there is a network of scammers around the Kazan area. Of course your lady could be innocent but from what you've said, well .......... castawaysailor Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 1:39:33 PM   There is a network of scammers worldwide. Write her for awhile and get to know her, then if she does not show colors of wanting money, it is time to get serious and go see her. Maybe <1% are scammers, the rest are women looking for a man, with all the bad press in Russia, and the traditions and the differences in culture; many differences in culture look like scams, they have strong family relations and different news media, etc. give it a month or so, if no ask for money, then make plans to visit. have a backup plan just in case but go visit Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 2:12:34 PM   Jeff If your girl and her parents want to pay for this "good" tradition, thats great. If she expects you to pay for it, it is certainly a scam or at best shes a complete time waster and not serious about looking for a foreign husband. Good ploy though, I like it. There are thousands upon thousands of women in Russia who would love you to go over there and meet them and their families. Why waste your time and money on Boris VNVnation Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/30/2005 3:20:25 PM   Jeffrey, I've seen this scam played out before. As Martin said, it's leading to the visa/ticket scam. There was another thread on this forum a long time ago (maybe one year back) that had almost exactly this same letter, word for word. Move on. sheppardalbert Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/4/2005 3:13:45 PM   I believe that I have found a wonderful Ukrainian woman. Her name is Inna Savina. I visited her in July of 2005. I was treated royally by her and her mother and father. I have been very satisfied with the results I get from the agency where I met her ( see the site through .....)I have never been treated so well in my life and I have been all over the world. I sent her nothing before I got to know her. She never asked for a single dime. She never played on my sympathy with sad stories of need to try to get me to send money. Now, that I have been there and feel that I know her (you never know anyone completely) I am helping her a little every month while we wait for the visa paperwork to be approved. Of course, doubts sometimes creep in, but that will all pass once she is on the plane and coming to me. I believe that we are both being realist about things and see them the way they are. I have begun to put our story and some of my poetry to her on my sites ...... Good luck to you in your search. Think positive, be realistic, and use your head. Your heart can come in later. Albert Sheppard California, USA VNVnation Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/4/2005 3:59:14 PM   Interesting. The "agency" where you met your Inna is simply a click-through site for Elena's Models designed by you, with links to your parent company. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Urgent !! How to respond??
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