Tex,
I can speak from my personal experience(s) here.
4 years ago a lady from Tashkent, but she was Russian, came to live with me. During our dating stage she, claimed to, hate everything about Uzbekistan and she knew that I lived in a moderately sized town.
When she arrived in UK she complained (about everything really) in the main that I did not live in central London and in Uzbekistan we do it like this, we do it like that. No British person wants to live in central London, it's full of bloody foreigners and, once my patience had become exhausted, well if Uzbekistan is so focking wonderful then I guess you need to return there!
In my, now, marriage, my wife is from Zaporozhye, a city of 1 million. When we met I was living in the tiniest of villages with a corner shop, a butcher and 2 pubs. More recently I have moved to a moderately sized town but basically my wife doesn't care where we live as long as we are together.
The difference between the present day and 4 years ago is that this lady loves me and the previous one, well it was that same old scenario of boy meets girl, fiance visa and it was moreso of an arrangement than a marriage.
If you find a lady that truly loves you then she will want to be with you wherever you live, don't rush into anything, like I did 4 years ago, take your time, travel to be with her on perhaps 3 ocassions before reaching a decision and don't ignore the 'little' things, pick up on things in conversations whereas she might have a problem where you live, that you drink, about your clothes, whatever. Detect that she accepts you for who you are and not what you are.
Tex,
Ukraine is far more 'commercialised' than somewhere like Uzbekistan. My wife has spent 2 years previously, working, in western Europe so she is already semi-westernised, but in all the positive ways.
The lady from Tashkent is history, it was an unpleasant experience at the time but I couldn't have asked for a more valuable learning tool.
When I started out on this process, some 7.5 years ago, there were not the forums, the blacklists, indeed the internet was still in it's relatively early days. Perhaps the most valuable tool now is a search engine like Google, you can learn so much particularly regarding dishonest people and/or agencies.
I didn't meet my wife thru an agency or the internet, I met her during my travels. The funny thing is that she works for an agency, as a manager and interpreter, but that's not how we met. She interprets regularly for 'boy meets girl', other guys write to the ladies, I've got the interpreter!
Martin_UK:
What do you think about the Cultural stage profile of "SWEET" Natalia Profile#311890 from my earlier post???
I BET she sent "Many a Good Men back home with Butterflys in their heads!!!"
I hope my using of Forums and the Google search engine will allow me to avoid some Ladies like her!!!
Martin_UK:
Congrats on your Special Lady!!!!
I really enjoyed your post on the saying" I've got the interpreter!"
You cut out the "MiddleMan in the Agency Operations". I bet there was some good cost savings based on that decision for you????
Tex,
What is the web address for Natalia's listing?
How I met my wife was that we struck up a conversation in English, we enjoyed each others conversation and company and it went from there. I have always tried to avoid the use of interpreters, because I like there to be just 2 people in a relationship, so a cost saving thought never occurred to me. What has always been enjoyable is that we are able to communicate very easily and openly and, being able to do so, we fully understand each others personality, mind, we even share a very similar sense of humour and we have a lot of laughs together.
I can recall dating ladies whose English was medium to poor and I cannot say that I truly learnt about such ladies or they learn about me and has been mentioed recently, once they get a misunderstanding into their head then there it shall remain and because of the language barrier it is very difficult to remove. My wife did the full English thing, 5 years at university, she's fluent in English, German & Spanish and I simply can't imagine going back to the 'Pigeon English' ways!
Martin , what you write above is very true, and not to rush into thing is a must, I hope the newcomes to this site take notice of you,
I would find it hard to date girls that only speak a little English,its bloody hard work trying to understand them,
If I was thing of taking a girl back to the US or UK I would never even think about a visa until the 3rd trip at least, I find it hard to beleve that some one would want to get a visa for I girl they have know for a few days, even more so when you consider how much it cost, t its not easy to adapt to a new country,
My Last Lady "SWEET" Natalia Profile#311890 from Bride. Agency. Since extensions are censored on this site I will give a hint .ru I believe that is short for russia. If you use the Bride and the extension and select "Country USA".
Martin, I also post the entire profile on page 1 of this Thread for your convenience.
Chrisc4 and Martin_UK:
My first preference with all other guys is to go after the Ladies with good English speaking. They usually get all the attention on the websites!!!
In talking with other guys who married their Ladies who knew little or no English, they said to me:" It is truly amazing to them the dedication and will of the Ukraine/Russian lady to learn another language,once she has found her Man!!!"
Remember alot of the Ladies will already kmow multiple Languages. Of course you will have to budget English classes into the cost of your search. What I personally thought to myself if they can do it so can I!!!
I have starting learning the Russian Language-granted it will be on a smaller scale of usage. I hope to get better and to communicate with my special lady during the trouble spots of our communicating between us and maybe her relatives and friends???
Besides Guys, I really appreciate the fact that your not interested in those very Beautiful kind of FISH in the Russian/Ukraine POND!!!"
It will provide me a hugh selection of Beautiful ladies to pick from and the best part they will be, "ALL to MYSELF"!!!
I don't know, its kinda hard to believe, every site I go on for search of a Ukraine woman 9 out of 10 women looking like super models. Its like Ukraine is heaven on earth. I was always told that Brazil had the worlds most beautiful women. Guess not. Anyone see the new movie HOSTEL. Maybe they just put theses adds of beautiful women up just to get you down there. If you have seen the movie you'll know what I'm talking abut.
Mike, I haven't been to Ukraine but I have been in Russia. My only advice to you is go and see for yourself. You will never think of a latin woman again. I'm sure you will be told this again and again by those of us that have been there.
Regardless of the purpose for which this older thread was reintroduced, I am glad that it was. I can see certain revealing truths in here regarding some FSU women that I must have missed when this thread was first written.
vanechka wrote "Because of the economy there is a low desire to work and people sit around all day... They dont have opportunities... This then becomes a way of life. And whilst your American woman are getting up at 7am and doing 10 hour workshifts these ukrainian girls are in bed till lunchtime... Oh yes they have a work ethic when it comes to painting their nails , going to the hairdressers etc..
wake up will you!!!!!!!!! "
That reflected the behavior of my (former) Moldovan lady who typically would rise at noon. But she ALWAYS had brightly colored nails. And it was the worst catastophy in the world when she broke one.
While she was here in the US she insisted it was a result of the time difference between her country and mine. (Except that would have actually had her waking 8 hours SOONER not later). She would begin to think about getting up at noon. SHe would then leisurely prepare to go out, occupying my only bathroom exclusively until 3:00 or 3:30. Then at 5:00 she was ready for (what else) SHOPPING! She would have done it seven days a week if she could have.
She told me straight out that she never intended to have to work.
And as Martin mentions regarding the first lady that he lived with, my city was absolutely too small and she thought that we would have to move to New York or Las Angeles, prefering, in either event to live in one of the more notable skyscrapers. We spent time during the three months that she was here in Miami, Detroit, Chicago and Milwaukee during various trips. Not bead for three months by my recollection. But later she told me that she didn't feel like she had really been even present in the US because we never went to New York.
Nothing in my home was clean enough for her. If a sheet touched the floor while folding it - it had to be rewashed. If a bag of groceries was placed on the floor the contents inside were contaminated. All of my furniture had to be shampooed in her presence before she would consider sitting on it. And I've always kept a pretty clean house.
I remind you that she came from a country where many restaurants have no running hot water and "squat over the pit" toilets.
Much as Martin concluded regarding the first girl he lived with from the FSU - if nothing here was to her liking, then it was best that she remained living where she was.
(Much as Martin concluded regarding the first girl he lived with from the FSU - if nothing here was to her liking, then it was best that she remained living where she was.)
That's pretty much what I told her myself although in not so many words :)
Your warnings are well received, however, if you think Ukrainian women are vain, and desire only to sit under a tree all day, try finding an American woman ( somewhat attractive) who isn't a fat butt, who hasn't been petted by daddy, and who doesn't truly have your best interest(s) and good, wholesome family values at heart. Fact is, these kinds of people are evrywhere. yes, the former Soviet Union fell and with it, came a whole new generation of "lost souls" who have not taken well to a "capitalistic" society. Like the rest of these fine gentlemen in here, we seek only that which Ukrainian and Russian women are truly noted, and that is wonderfully traditional, attractive ladies that just seek a better life. I have been searching thru Anastasiaweb, and the Behappy agency, and I have learned quickly that scams abound. I search in a very wary, informed manner, yet, I truly feel that there are some good ladies out there. My best friend married a Russian girl and she is a jewel. I am honored to know her. I also realize that the dark-side exists, and there isn't a perfect world in these dating services. So, with caution I proceed. If any of you have any suggestions, including you, Vanechka, I am listening.
Oh..and Texas Tex, I agree 100% with you brother. I am from Texas...and a cowboy. I was inundated from the time I was a toddler in being a gentleman, always. If these guys want an American gal, more power to them. I have been told I am an attractive man, a good man, and many do not understand why I would go clear across the ocean and find a Ukrainian/Russian wife. If they met some of these girls, they would know why. I want to learn Russian, and because I understand their culture a little bit more, maybe I can assist my future wife in being a true Americanized lady, and not these self centered brats.
Hi Tex,
I came across your forum because I'm in similar shoes..just thinking if it's wise to look for a partner in Ukraine. You are definitely right that they care more for their appearance than Western ladies (unless those working in Hollywood studios).
I believe that a relationship has better chances if expectations of both parties are known upfront, and this can be tricky by correspondence.
I also believe that a relationship is less rocky if both parties have compatible personalities. For this matter, I actually read the book on Personalities and Relationships, and used their 'quiz' in my correspondence to help me better understand the ladies before making a choice to meet.
I hope my comments helped.
I would be looking out here for your experience in Ukraine.
Good luck.
Ok here is my single experience from a Russian woman living in the US.
I met her through a friend as a possible tutor for Russian language. She was very nice, very well dressed and took very good care of herself. Pretty woman about 35 years of age. Blonde hair, green eyes, nice smile. Maybe looked a little older than her years but no biggie. Was still pleasant.
Nice woman. Was brought to the US 10 years ago by an executive from Exxon that saw her in a friends wedding picture and had to have her. Married the guy 12 days later. One kid and six years later, she was divorced.
Now she works as a secretary/admin/filer for a small engineering company. Based on my friend who knew her from a temp agency, she was 10.00 to 11.00 an hour max employee.
Why I say this? Read on.
The woman has been divorced at least three years now. She drives a brand new 2008 Eclipse. She claims to receive child support but very little. She lives in a three bedroom apartment in a nice area of town that runs to my knowledge around 1,000 US a month. Her mom lives there also, doesnt work and takes care of her son. Receives no income. And let me tell you, this woman dresses nice. And we were meeting after work hours at a dark coffee shop here. Not exactly dress up central.
So stay with me here...
Anyway, she tutored me for about three months so we got to know each other better. This woman would always be asleep or just waking up 10-1030 Saturday morning. Her statement was that she went to a party the night before. Again, please tell me how many 35 year old women go to parties every weekend all night?
She also had zero desire for a social dating life.
So lets add this up and YOU make the call....
Very little income
Pricey apartment, car, clothes and family being sole income provider of 3
Small child support
Never available on weekend nights and out all night
No desire for dating relationship
So 1,000 for the apartment. The car is a 28k car so thats a min of $600 a month plus at least $125 a month car insurance. $250 for utilities and say $400 for food for a family of 3 a month which equals $2375 Take her income of 11 x 40 x 52/12 = 1906.66 before taxes so 1525.33 after taxes. Lets say she gets $1000 a month child support which I doubt. So thats $2525.33 a month take home with $2375 a month expenses not including care for the kid, mom or herself other than food and utilities.
Are you starting to wonder how?
Understand in europe, the worlds oldest profession (prostitution) isnt considered shameful like it is here in US. And how much do you think visiting lawyers and doctors would pay for a night with a pretty Russian woman which is EXTREMELY rare in this part of America?
Ok..doing the maths...and I'm wondering why shes tutoring on the side...why would she bother tutor you if your theory was correct? Or maybe she hourly tutoring rate was very high??