Just considering my future options. I've dated a number of American Women in college. Some of them were really very nice but they all give up on relationships too quickly - If I needed support from them they usually flaked out. To please and keep American women is a challenge! One that I'm tired of engaging in.
With a few of the American women I've dated I felt they were attempting to chip away at my confidence to see if I would break down - is it such a crime to be supportive?
Any ideas for a young man looking to meet Russian women? I'm sucessful in school, enjoy my work and find my social life fulfilling. I wonder though if there is an honest difference in Russian women. I can't think of any convienent ways of meeting with Russian women to discover this for myself. Any ideas?
Women are women everywhere. A Russian woman will just look better while being one. The differences are not as drastic as some will lead you to believe, especially the dating sites. Russian women are prone to flaking out, being a challenge, and chipping away at your confidence to see how strong you are.
If you want an intelligent, young, honest WOMAN (I put that in caps because in the end thats what they are) then perhaps this is for you. You need at least 10K to follow through with this as well. My advice is, you are young, you are just starting a career (I assume), and you enjoy your life. Don't worry about getting married. So what if some women decided to move on in relationships to you? There are plenty of others out there. Have a good time with them. When you are set in your career and feel it is time for a family, come back.
There isn't a convenient way for a guy, resident of USA, to meet a lady(s), resident of Russia, Ukraine etc. Geography dictates this.
AS heyme says, women are women wherever you go, men will be men also. I chat with friends of my wife who are seeking foreign guys and they complain that their own men drink etc. I laugh with them explaining that men will be men wherever you go, we like to drink and we enjoy sex!
One difference with FSU ladies, if you find a good one, is that they have some old-fashioned 'good things' about them such as being supportive of their man. Quite often these ladies will act like a 'puppy dog' but don't take them for granted, they have one hell of a bark also!
Hvatum, and I'm not trying to sound old, these ladies, in general, seek security whereas the guy has a good career, a regular and healthy income, an owner of property would be nice etc. etc. etc. To date a oung guy without such securities, well they have plenty of those in FSU! This said, there will be plenty of FSU ladies that will be fed up with 'old men' writing to them and to receive a letter from a guy of a similar age, well it will be like a breath of fresh air to them, maybe.
As Heyme says, 10k (US) is a reasonable estimate of what you will need to see the process through, I've spent significantly more than this over the years but a lot of this would have been my budget for annual holidays, I've merely diverted my holiday destination(s) to FSU.
The first 4 sentences heyme said hit it right on the head.
Women are women everywhere and each Russian ladys personality is different from the next. The only difference is culture. Theres good and bad wherever you go, just educate yourself as much as you can before you go there. I find that Russian women get to the point real quick and when they make a decision thats it. Theres no mind changing. They can be very warm but then they can get a heart of ice in the snap of a finger. Its my experience
Well we've been a couple for almost 2 years, married earlier this year!
She's still in Ukraine at the moment whilst supervising the renovations to our apartment, she should be across here in March 2006. Some have criticised that we live apart blah blah blah but it's only a temporary seperation and we have something so strong between us that we don't suffer from the insecurities that others obviously do!
Thank you for all the quick responses! At this point I'm not desperate to find a fiance, just testing the water. If the water's nice I'll get in.
Martin and Heyme make very good points. Russian women are not fundementally different than American women. At the same time I know culture dictates to a large degree how women of various cultures approach life. They expect different things out of life.
Younger american women especially seem to have confused expectations. On one hand they hope to have successful careers. At the same time they want a family but have great difficulty putting their careers aside to do so. They've been told they'll get everything and it takes them awhile to discover what life's really about. Once they get older I believe a large number of American women are more willing to put certain dreams aside to fully fulfill the ones most important to them. I don't want to force any woman to make this choice though, so if I can find a woman who already knows what she wants I don't see why not!
Right now I'm starting my professional career. I wouldn't consider myself wealthy - but I never feel pressured financially either because I'm always very careful to live below my means. My father taught me: "It's not how much money you earn that matters, it's how much of that you don't spend that's important." Having extra money instead of jumping paycheck to paycheck makes me feel rich :D
Property, hmmm... I don't own a house right now because I just don't need one. Housing prices also seem inflated in this area so I'm just going to let my investments accumulate and the housing market to tank (hopefully!). Then I'll just buy a house outright instead of getting a Mortgage... better to have my money earn interest now rather than pay it later if you know what I mean
As an aside: In college I studied in Germany for a year. I must sadly say that women there are on average the most hostile to the idea of having children. They see their pursuits and interest as the primary vehical to give their life meaning and frankly see children or a partnership as nothing but a hinderance to that goal...I should have gone on the St.Petersburg program
Norwegian women more often then not see having children and marrying as a simple "why not?" decision. Having a family for them adds warmth to an otherwise cold (and slightly introverted?) country. Of course with things as they are they'd hardly even think of moving here. :(
Good luck Martin. So you bought a flat in Zaporozhye? Probably a great investment judging from what I've seen since 2003. The price of flats are going through the roof. Not sure where the money is coming from because all the young people are still making about $150 a month.
Oh yeah to heyme, the cost of travelling to Russia won't be a problem. I love to travel and my travel budget is big right now because this place doesn't give me many vacation days during the first few years (I had NO vacation as an intern)...
Even if I don't meet with any success on my first few trips I'd love the trip anyway. Peter the great's palace in St.Petersburg and Moscow's famous Bolshoi Ballet alone off the top of my head are things I don't want to miss. I also want to understand the Russian mentality... they've always been a confused but proudly unique country
I'm fairly good with languages and I'm considering trying my hand at Russian. The Cyrillic alphabet might be a challenge but I know most of the pronunciations from my German and Norwegian (I'm fluent in both). One of my friends is Russian, he actually likes to watch Russian movies, so I could practice with him once in awhile. Would learning Russian help much or is this not really important (do most russians speak english?)?
You choose to ignore me do you... Ill bet my house in 2 years you will either have dissapeared from this forum or will spew a tragic story of how you got shafted. I have never married a Ukraine woman . I have not been stupid enough. But I travel to Ukraine yearly. And if you want some serious (non biased) advice then go to Ukraine for fun .. Dont waste 10k on a woman who doesnt give a toss about you. You have not been long enough here to realise that the so called Martins from Uk are here for 2 years then they dissapear Its amusing this forum . Because I have had arguments with people on here who then have come back here after a year and sulked at the debacles...
At your age the desperate last act of meeting a poor ukrainian girl is ridiculous. And unheard of. Wait until you are 40 when you are running out of time..
And you can choose to ignore me as much as you want.. But you are getting advice from people here who have spent (50K) on Ukrainian girls to no avail or guys who have married a russian girls with kids.. You prefer to listen to then than me so be it. But the facts are western-russian relationship fail. Especially with young sexy homesick girls. And im presuming you are not travelling half way around the world to meet a skank.
I wouldn't get too excited just yet, I received a similar offer previously and there I was looking forward to winning a house in Oz, I even offered to throw my own house into the frame, but then the other party, when asked, declined to exchange lawyer details and basically lost his bottle.
Don't jump ahead of me! I'd like to visit Russia either way. The idea interests me and if I were to *ever* do something like this I would want to do so correctly, and not as an act of desperation in which I feel pressed for time. Desperation is the path to failure.
Vanechka, I didn't mean that in offense. But consider that your negative experience has colored your opinion towards all Russian women in exactly the same way many American men on this forum feel bitter towards all American women even though their bad experiences are limited to a few of these Women.
vanechka, I am married more than two years, Ukr, am 38, she's 22, things are great, we love each other and work out any problems (her homesickness included) like a loving couple and soul mates. Our marriage is the best thing that happened in my life. She has two new friends here in the states, one Ukr, one Rus. Both early thirties with one kid each in mid-teens, both married to Americans through online dating. One couple has age difference 21 years, the other one 17 years. Both seem happy and the men get along with their kids very well.