i'm planning to visit FSU in early march and i've three or for ladies that i wish to visit. i dont go in for the guided tour thing so i'll go in on my own bat. they all seen very keen to meet in person but i've alway been a sucker for a pretty girl and none of them are hard to look at. my mate feckons that i should treat the whole thing like buying a car, but thats never been me. any advice for what i should be looking or what to stear clear of.
Those who treated it like buying a car failed miserably. These women have feelings, and although they may seem desperate to the eye and ear of the untrained, they're not, they have very acute judgement and know how to weed out bad apples. If you treat her like buying a car and she accepts it, then something's wrong. Either she has a personality problem or she's in for something else more material. Go there, treat it as an experience, try to learn about them as persons and their culture, have fun, share with them about you and your culture. In the process, you'll find out with whom you click and your judgement will tell you who's right for you. You're doing the right thing not going through organized tours, and you have th right number of prospects lined up. Even in the unfortunate event that none of the prospects works out, you'll likely come back equiped with so much experience and positive attitude about it that you'll want to continue your research and travel again to these wonderful countries. Best of luck!
thanks for backing up my own thoughts, for a while i thought i might be the only one that thought on these lines. i've never been the type that can treat people in a cold fashion. i dont know the russian people well but it stands to reason that they would feel and thing much like the rest of us (with exceptions of course) as you said.anyway i'm not much good at buying cars, i always get a lemon.
aussie, I got married to a sweetheart from Ukraine two and a half years ago. Things are great! Enjoy your trip in March, it can be a lot of fun getting to know girls from a different culture especially when they're hot and interested in you:) You will wish, as all of us did, that FSU was closer to your country, but if this was the case, then it would be a totally different place.
Trust me Aussie, there not even remotely close to cars. When you click you will know. When I met Larissa the first time over a year ago after writing and calling her for over 6 months, I knew the moment I was with her that this was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
My take was a little different. I didn't have any other prospects lined up. Also I wasn't going to make this a repeat journey. To many career searchers already. Before I decided to meet Larisa, I had whittled down my list to three potential meetings, as things have it, the two own their own volition disqualified themselves, one just disappeared and the other had an attitude problem. Then there was Larisa, who wasn't in a hurry, because she wanted a lifetime committment, her attitude stayed the same all the time. She had serious reservations of moving to the US, which I understood and she wanted time to think about these things. She never asked for money, and any gift that I gave her, she returned appreciation that I have never received before. The result, I am leaving and the end of this month to bring my fiance to the states, if she likes it and doesn't have a problem adjusting to the culture, which she says she won't we will be married in the early spring this year.
As for cars, my track record for buying cars has been a hell of a lot better than the women I have been with in my country. I have no problem finding lemons here.
Nasfan6, you're doing the best thing you could for her to go there and be with her when she'll wait for her interview at the embassy and then together come back. I did the same and I know it was the right thing. There were four other women who had interviews the same day. None of their male fiance's was there. In a sense, they were being shipped to the male who was waiting for them in another country. It just doesn't sound right. I can't think any man who would love his woman would let her go to the embassy alone and then travel half the way around the world perhaps the first time on a plane. The other women told my wife, fiance at the time, that she was lucky to have me. She told me and her eyes were sparkling. That was the best reward I could have for making an expensive trip planned on a short notice.
I hear what you say about women in our own country, i'm in Australia and i haven't had much luck either, although there are two bitches here that are living very comfortable thanks to me. If i sound bitter then it probobly because i am. But i really do appreciate the comments from you guys, it helps a lot to hear how others are doing when i'm heading into uncharted waters. i wish you the best of luck with your lady.
I't good to hear you have a solid marraige, theres so many comments on this forum about how this failed and that didnt work out. It's good to hear some possitive stuff as well.
by the way my name is Balint.
P.S. steelman, i'll be checking out your site soon.
I gave my lady a choice. I could either be there for two weeks on her birthday - or I could go with her to Bucharest for the interview - the exact date of which was, of course, undetermined at the time. Without hesitation she chose the former.
I mentioned to her that the interviewer might have some qualms about approving her, given the fact that she was NOT accompanied by her fiance - but she said that she was not worried and that she would express her feelings sincerely. She was sure that she could make the interviewer understand.
She described for me the interview process and the fact that several took place at the same time with in audible distance of each other. She explained that she was overcome with emotion and that other people stopped talking and turned and listened as she described our situation. The interviewer and other interviewees later told her that she did great, and they were so happy for her. Didn't see her eyes as she relayed the information to me via telephone, but I heard her voice - and I was certain we were doing the right thing.
Yep, it's something about those Ukrainian eyes that tell the whole story.
Also there was never any question as to me being at the interview or not. It was just going to happen. I've already arranged a leave of absence from my work for a month to bring her here and get situated and comfortable with her new country, culture and lifestyle. The one thing I have learned is if you treat these women with respect you will get back in return more than you can ever believe possible.
Good luck in your search, it's really not all that difficult, just some common sense, pick up pieces of information from others here that have been there and make it work for you. You will definately enjoy your journey and not come back like some malignant people that have posted here.
You wrote that when you met Larisa that you had whitled down your prosepect to three. Did you tell them that you were going to see others, or were they the only one as far as they knew? this may seen a naieve question but I think they would get offended if i lob in and say something like "hi, you've got a week to convince me that your my true love before i move on to the next one". If this happened to me then i'd tell her to bugger off. i don't really want to lie to any girl but the truth in this case seems to be anti-productive. what do you think?
this interview thing sounds a bit daunting, i haven't gotten quit that close to these girls yet so i havent encountered this, but i've got some very possitive pesponses in the last two months that i've been writing so i guess that i'll find out about it sooner or lattewr.
Interview her! Where are you coming from! Date her, go out and have a good time, as you would with any lady, and if things 'click' well so be it.
She's got a week to convince you? Forget it, you've got a week to convince her! She can meet guys 52 weeks a year, you only have a few weeks of holiday each year to meet ladies, the odds are stacked in her favour!
I had intentions of only meeting one woman, not three, but they also knew I was communicating with others, as I am sure they were communicating with other men. It also wasn't a point of contention of convincing anyone. For me it was the best overall and vice versa of what we were looking for in a lifetime mate. Also the truth, at least with my lady always works, I've been honest and upfront with her on everything. She even knew that one of the ladies I had written lived in her town. When I decided Larissa was the one I wanted to go meet, I declined emails from other women. I personally don't believe in the back-up plan BS. It's too disengenuous to me. Kind of like the idiotic fad that was here in the states called speed dating.
you are going on holiday dude!!! Just treat it as a holiday you will know very quickly if she is right or not. Nasfan is right about the eyes. Ukrainian women are just something else. I only went to see one and one only. We had been writing and talking for about 8 months. It was my preferred way. I'm sure you wouldnt be very impressed if a lady was moving on to meet another foreign "prospect" after meeting you. I went to Kiev and had a fantastic time. I have just come back from my second trip yesterday and it only gets better!!!! One thing to remember is that some (for some read LOTS) Ukrainian men are not very good at commitment (thats an understatement). So your lady may be a little reserved the first time you meet, it depends how long you have been communicating.
As for the Embassy interview, damn right the guys should go with her. We have just reserved our interview date at the British Emabassy for Feb 9th, I'll be going back on the 8th. While we were in Kiev this last time, a girl from my ladies internet club came to Kiev for her Fiance interview. She is marrying a French guy. My girl asked if it would be okay if this girl, Gala, stayed at our apartment the night before as her interview was at 8.30am and it was a 4 hour bus ride to get there. So she did. She got her Visa but she explained what a humiliating process it was being interviewed from one side of a glass screen and having to shout your answers so that everyone in the Visa section could hear. My lady was very nervous at this thought so we went to the Embassy and I spoke to an ECO and explained that the interview must be in a seperate room - What d'ya know - NO PROBLEM!!!
What kind of guy lets their future wife go through that kind of humiliation without their support?
Nobody argues that a gild should go through that sort of sitution without the support of her guy.
If you are refering to my post - I am of limited means as, I'm guessing, many of you are. I simply cannot afford to go to the FSU for a few weeks every month. My bad.
I was there for two weeks in January of last year. Her interview as it turned out was in May. She prefered that I be with her on her birthday (which was in January).
I paid $500 for her and her mother to fly from Chisinau to Bucharest and to stay at a hotel near the embassy. I spoke to her by phone, before she left Chisinau, after she arrived in Bucharest, after she got to her hotel room, after her medical, before her interview and after her interview - every step of the way. Six seperate phone calls - at least two hours total.
She handled herself very well as I knew she would.
To those of you who don't have to plan trips to the FSU in advance and who can take off at a moments notice - I envy your situation.
But don'tdon't get the impression that I left my lady high and dry to take care of herself.
Ok ok retraction coming up. I did say guys who "let" their girls go through that alone. If you CANT be there that is completely different and understandable. That was not my meaning and I apologise for any offense, it was not intended.
I believe it's been metioned several times in the past: if one does not have the means, one should be realistic and stop the pursuit. Trust me, being with her in the interview is a big thing. Even if a girl tells her fiance his presence is not necessary, she does so because she's trying not to burden him. My trip for the interview was planned at the last moment because the embassy letter never arrived on time to my fiance at the time (it arrived after the interview date ...). I called the embassy and they told me the date, which was in a week or less if I recall correctly. If I had called the embassy earlier, I would have known the date a few weeks in advance and would have been to plan. I don't think there many excuses for not being there. If she were sick and told you to go there, wouldn't you get in a plane and go. And if you wouldn't because you couldn't afford it, maybe shoudln't you be looking to a girl from the Fsu? just a thought, not trying to stir up any controversy.