I have started a correspondance with a Russian lady. I am concerned that I may, through my ignorance of Russian Culture, in some unintentional way offend or frieghten her. I was raised with high moral values, but not a strict christen outlook. Example: a man should be considerte, compassionate, and understanding. He should take his wife's views, thoughts, and ideas into consideration but at times he must be the man and make the final decission. Are there any ideas as how to approach this subject with a russian lady without offending her? Any things that are much differant than American customs I should know about early? thank you for your time and help
William, If I can explain things to you I will. you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org Ill email you back my ICQ ID and phone number of Ill talk through email. There are differant ways in cultures. But in general a woman is a woman and needs to be treated as such. What I dont understand is why are you into this subject with her so fast. I think you need to meet her to discuss a topic such as this. You are right that it will scare her off. It would scare any woman off. I think she will see your values and morals as you progress in the relationship. To throw this on her shoulders so fast is not what any woman wants. If she wants to ask questions about your morals and values she will. To throw all this on her so fast will make her think you to be demanding and unbending. That you are setting up a foundation in the relationship on your own with out her input or help. I think you need to just be you in your letters and she will see who you are. and when the time to discuss morals and values comes it will be a intergration of both not just yours. So lighten up is my advice to you. Email me if you like and Ill help you to understand better. Ill recommend a few books to read and also answer your cultural questions. Hope this helps
Habbit 4, very impressive. I feel it's important to have high morals. A previous topic on religion got ugly and I don't want to repeat that. If religious preference is important, would it be considered deceitful not to mention a degree of religious conviction up front? After all, I believe it is my Christian convictions that give me the desirable qualities that a woman would want; fidelity, respect, devotion, etc...
The Seven Habbits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. It's an excellent philosophy for personal development in all aspects of life; home and career. Habit 4 is Seek first to understand, then to be understood. It's really good, I recommend the audio tape or CD.
I am a Russian woman. I think that you have a couture shock in communication with Russian women because we are raised with high responsibility of our lives. Thatís why the final decision in Russian families is usually womenís. We say that man is a head but a woman is a neck of the family. The family goes where the neck turns. But usually women are wise enough to convince men that it was his decision.
And about religion.
Th high moral standards in Russian are raised usually in families not because of religious influence. We are moral because of our responsibility of our lives not because of existence of superpower (God) that pushes us to be moral.
I believe the character of Russian women may be high because of the culture. Which is why guys like me are tired of games and misttreatment of American women and seek Russian women. I believe it would be an ideal mix to have a woman with a hearty sense of commitment from their culture and true Christian ethics. I've heard the neck turning the head line before, in America we call that a man being "hen pecked". The typical response to such "neck turning" is - Yes, dear...
If we look at the scriptures, 1 Corintians 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
>I would like to point out "likewise also the wife unto the husband".
1 Corinthians 3:11 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
>Chain of commmand, so to speak, is first God, then Man, then the wife. A Christian man carries the responsibility to lead the household in a godly manner.
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
>I've seen what happens to men when the "neck turning" doesn't work, it turns into a pain in the neck.
How many times have you heard it said that the attractive personility traits Russian women seem to display were present in American woman of the 1950's. Through our relative affluence Americans have changed over the years. We have fewer social skills because we don't interact with each other as much. We watch a lot of television, Few of us are on a real personal basis with our neighbors. Even in family setting we don't interact as generations in the past did. With affluence has come too many toys to occupy ourselves with. Russians haven't lost genuine social interaction to anywhere near the degree that Americans have. And society needs a belief in a higher power. Astrology becomes the opiate where Christianity has no foothold. But at the same time Russian women are not passive like American women of the 1950's. That societal dictum has been present. And they are more sexual and aggresive because no set of Christian rules has told them they couldn't be.