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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > After marriage statistics Author Post wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2006 3:51:26 PM   I thought I'd give you an interesting statistic derived from my personal experience during the after marriage phase. My wife communicates with a number of Rus/Ukr women in our state. We have 16 observations of couples who married through international dating including ourselves. The info on about 1/3 of these couples is indirect, i.e. through word of mouth. Our marriage is the only one that can be deemed purely successful after three years. Two other marriages are doing ok and it seems they may last although they seem to lack passion. The other marriages fit one of three patterns: (a) the woman cheats on her husband (cheating could be both ways as well), (b) woman disappointed with marriage, waiting for permanent green card before she gives an end, (c) woman already divorced or during the proceedings. According to each single woman who had an unsuccessful marriage, the party to blame is the husband. Complaints include: he is tight with the money, he demands that she work to pay for her expenses, he does not care about her, he cheats on her, he spends more time with his friends than with her, he does not help her get used to the lifestyle in America, he wants her to stay home all the time isolated from the world, he abuses her, he does not get along with her kid, he is out of job or lazy to find a job. Nevertheless, women disappointed with their husbands still like it here and want to stay and remarry. One of these women has already done so and is happy in her second marriage. Conclusion: genuine mutual feelings before the marriage and even stronger caring and loving after the marriage is the single valid predictor of a successful marriage. Love and happiness in the long run cannot be bought or imported! danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2006 7:07:25 PM   Greetings Bill, Now how might these decipher: (he is tight with the money) She wants to spend, spend and spend on trivialities whilst he, and indeed she, have the mortgage and other bills needing to be paid. He say 'woah your horses please my darling' and she gets the hump! (he demands that she work to pay for her expenses) He says you want to spend, spend and spend on trivialities then you pay for this crap yourself darling! (he does not care about her) Ah, he didn't take her shopping for clothes and cosmetics! (he cheats on her) You mean he bought another lady clothes and cosmetics? (he spends more time with his friends than with her) Yep, they don't demand clothes and cosmetics :) (he does not help her get used to the lifestyle in America) Can anyone? (he wants her to stay home all the time isolated from the world) Anything to keep her away from the shops! (he abuses her) Clothes and cosmetics again. (he does not get along with her kid) Does she encourage a legal adoption or does she spoil the brat? (he is out of job or lazy to find a job) Why bother, there will never be any money in the bank all the while she's around! Just having a laugh Bill but been there, done that,some 5 years ago. I never allowed it to degrade to a situation of bankrupcy, instead I sent her packing after a mere 4 weeks or so, had been far too long enough and during that time she had made bugger all effort, she couldn't even cook boil in the bag rice, whilst making her demands. That's what becomes of bringing a lady home after one or so visits, live and learn, I have :) Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/30/2006 6:08:58 AM   If they are the real stats. Dont it make Mike00, the smartest man here?? wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/30/2006 2:58:40 PM   The stats are real from my standpoint. None can tell for sure what percentage of all marriages are successful. I would not call smart someone who pays a "willing" girl 10K miles from homebase salary plus bonus plus incidentals for the whole year to visit her 3-4 months. If that's what you want, why not cherish the opportunity and opt for a different treat each time? can he take the oath "his girl" is not fucking someone else the other 2/3 of the year? I say he pays to keep her in style the whole year to have her company 3-4 months while someone else pays nothing and tastes her the remaining 8 months. That make MIKE00 pretty dumb don't it? Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/1/2006 5:38:02 AM   I think almost every man who goes to the FSU and marries a woman from there, intends it to be for a, long term, loving, passionate relationship. I cant think of a reason for a man to go to so much trouble for anything less than that. But your stats are disturbing. They mean 94% fail, and fail in a big way. It can be assumed, because of the fail rate, that most of these relationships are based on lies and deceit from the beginning. But a man in love can see no wrong. In the end the man gets left with nothing but the bill, future maintenance and a 5year stand down from marrying another foreign woman. The later is possibly a good thing. Would an intelligent person make such a gamble with only 6% chance of success? On the other hand. In Mikes relationship, everything is up front. There are no lies. Everyone is happy. Everyone gets what they want. Is she cheating when hes not there? Who knows, but it is much easier to accept your part time girlfriend seeing someone else, when you are not in the country. Than to have a wife cheating on you, while you are at work. Is Mikes way the best? Maybe not. But according to your stats. Hes 94% ahead of the game. wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/1/2006 9:35:14 AM   Adman, my style is totally different. Even if I were single and older, I'd never pay a woman to sleep with me, not so much because of ethical considerations, rather out of pride, I just don't need to pay for it - period. The scariest thing about FSU brides is that some feel they have nothing to lose leaving their country and going somewhere else. The man's looks also play a big role. Age in my view is not the biggest factor as is looks and personality. I have seen people who got neither and are old and have pretty, young chicks and it's not going to last. There is a guy fiftish, does not work, his wife works, pays her part of the bills, he's tight, they're not going anywhere, she's going on girls nights out, etc. etc. she's waiting for the green card. This is very typical. What I think is if the guy was right, she would stay with him, she's a good person. My view is that there are reasons why many men who go to the FSU to find a bride and don't find it in their own country. Few women will stick with losers when they have otpions. P.S. the stat that I gave you might even understating the true success rate. If you spoke russian and were able to log on to any of the forums frequented by russian women married to americans, you'd be very surpised what you'd find out. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/1/2006 10:53:41 AM   (It can be assumed, because of the fail rate, that most of these relationships are based on lies and deceit from the beginning. But a man in love can see no wrong.) It MIGHT be assumed, given such a statistic, that there are by far too many idiots out these besotted by a pretty smile and blue eyes who will only think with his penis and not with his brain. I would very much like to see a statistic of marriages from guys who had decided upon the lady, visa etc. within two meetings with each other and another statistic from guys who had physically (not cyber) dated the lady for a year or more before making such decisions. I would suspect that the majority of failed relationships are from those who thought with their penis, decided upon the lady without really knowing her and it is not the matter of the man being in love after only one, perhaps two, meetings, more like the man acting like a total jerk and believing in a 'happy ever after' ending despite all the warning signs. wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/1/2006 6:13:21 PM   Martin, you're absolutely right! Have in mind most guys from the U.S. make only the mandatory one trip to meet her, then petition, and wait for the approval for several months. In fact, when I first contacted an attorney to understand the fiancee visa process, I had already visited my then girlfriend and now wife once. The attorney was puszzled why I was planning a second visit within a month from the first visit and made the point several times that it was not required by the law! Also, take a look at the love tour sites (e.g. AFA). They brag that most of their clients go there and after meeting several women for the first time, a high percentage of them propose, come back home and begin paperwork. AFA even has an attorney during the tour who solicites business from the would be grooms. Interesting process eh? and highly efficient I might even add: 1. Sign up on love tour 2. Go to the airport on departure day (ensure you have an engagement ring in your bag just in case) 3. Go to a social party or two (you may also want to search the tour company's rich profile database, that is if you have time to kill before the parties begin) 4. Meet women from a pack during the parties 5. Pick a number of women from the pack (number of women should match your number of days during the love tour excluding the days when you have to go to the parties) 6. Have a dinner once with each woman selected in step #5 with the help of a translator 7. Pick one woman (preferrably) from the ones in step #6 8. Propose to her (ring now becomes handy) - it would be very nice if you want to propose her, so the tour company can claim that your trip was an awsome success! 9. Take a few pictures of you and the woman (to prove immigration you met her once) and fill out the fiancee forms that are coneveniently provided to you by the tour's attorney 10. Return home 11. Wait a few months until your MOB is delivered to you. 12. Then your on your own and good luck. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/1/2006 6:48:28 PM   Ah wtrav02, So it's all about keeping it formal, robotic and legal and never mind that old fashioned thing called 'romance'. These are some w@nkers around here that can say whatever they like, indeed I'm very bemused that they occupy their time on this site, and w@nking amongst themselves away from this site, regarding my marriage, indeed in their tiny minds my 'so called' marriage, I guess it's jealousy on their part but could I give a sh1t? No! I love it where you mention above that the guy should go armed with an engagement ring, call me old fashioned but after I formally proposed to my wife I took her to the shop(s) and we decided upon a ring together, if it's something she's going to wear for the rest of her life then I only think it reasonable that she have a say in the matter. Also bemusing that a lawyer questioned why on earth would you want to visit a lady for a second time, indeed I'm close to peeing my pants about that one, with lawyers advising like that then I feel confident that the statistic of 94% is sure to rise but only amongst the guys that think with their penis or indeed listen to a lawyer :) Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/3/2006 5:16:28 PM   Wtrav Whether it be your style, almost all that look for an FSU woman are paying. Its the man that pays for totting her around town when we visit. The man pays for the airline tickets and visas to bring her to the West. When she arrives she cant normally work for at least a year, so we pay for everything and give her spending money each week. If she has children, she may never work a normal job. If she has no kids she no doubt wants them and so probably will never work. This is normal, a man should provide for his family. But if the relationship is not real, then we pay too much. >There is a guy fiftish, does not work, his wife works, pays her part of the bills, he's tight, they're not going anywhere, she's going on girls nights out, etc. etc. she's waiting for the green card. This is very typical. What I think is if the guy was right, she would stay with him, she's a good person. < I have problems with this. Did the man, as soon as he married, suddenly age 20yrs, loose his good looks, loose his sparkling personality? No he would be much the same as he was the week before. Did she tell him before they were married that she "wanted him, needed him, loved him" yes of cause she did, Did she suddenly start getting all these terrible headaches after they married? Yes. But really she waits for the green card and a lucrative matrimonial settlement. He knows this and he knows she’s bonking other guys, but he tries to hold onto a dream. "shes a good person"? If she pulled a stunt like that on me, her arse would be out the door so fast, she'd go backwards in time. It would be interesting if you asked the guy, If he had his time over, would he rather spend his money on fabulous holidays and having a great time, or marry her? danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/3/2006 6:12:58 PM   Adman. There ain't anything peculiar about a guy paying for an FSU lady, you can meet a lady down your local bar or nightclub and as soon as you may buy her a drink then you are paying, you don't have to travel to FSU, indeed out of your local block, to pay. Many a guy will believe an FSU lady to be less expensive than a local lass but as you itemise there will be airfares and visas etc. and it doesn't stop once she arrives with you, of course she will want to return back to her homeland, as we all would, on occasions and these all have to be budgeted. One jerk, on this site, suggested that it wasn't within his budget for her to return to her homeland within 2 to 3 years, such a jerk needs to take a reality check, I've just booked a return ticket from London to Dnepropetrovsk for USD38 + taxes but then will come the same old excuse that Western Europe in much nearer to FSU than N. America, excuse me for pointing out that FSU is in the same location as it has always been and in the same location it was at the time as each and every guy set out upon such a venture, it hasn't moved :) You talk of a lady only wanting a green card and I reiterate that a guy should never decide upon a lady within a single or even two visits. Wtrav02 summed this up quite appropriately previously whereas many a guy will decide upon a single visit (been there, done that myself and a much wiser person for it) and indeed it is suggested a man take an engagement ring before even meeting the lady, clinical or what? and when suggested to a lawyer that one returns for a second visit, well that really says it all :) wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/3/2006 11:23:47 PM   Adman, I meant that I would never pay a woman so that she would have sex with me. All the other stuff that you write about providing support to your woman and your family makes sense of course. The guy from Australia pays that woman to have sex with him. It's diffrent. Hope it is clear. With regard to your second point, you're right on. Some people live for the dream. The guy to whom I was referring was looking for a companion not for fabulous holidays. As I said the scariest part is that some (many?) women are eager to marry a foreigner because they feel they've got nothing to lose, then they re-evaluate things when they are here, they get jobs, they realize they don't need him in order to make it here. Once that trasformation occurs, it is bye bye time. It is risky business, but I think an experienced guy can tell from the beginning whether she will stay with him in the long run or she will run for the doors when the opportunity arises. Then there are those who prefer to live in fantasyland ... Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/5/2006 10:27:48 PM   Martin, you said I would very much like to see a statistic of marriages from guys who had decided upon the lady, visa etc. within two meetings with each other and another statistic from guys who had physically (not cyber) dated the lady for a year or more before making such decisions. I think that long dating kill love. This marriage can be a very good deal, very calm, comfortable life but even if love reemerge in this marriage it will be after many many years. The decision about marriage should be made in several weeks not longer. The ideal (and I think a priory successful) marriage from my point of view: -Each person is looking for a marriage (not just for a dating, for a beautiful woman but for a soul mate). -Like each other, feel that this person can become a real relative to you. - Never undermine person. - Never cheat. - No sex before marriage. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/6/2006 3:33:38 AM   Bagira, You're having a laugh aren't you? Are you seriously saying that within a few weeks two people know each other well enough to commit to the rest of their lives together, you cannot be serious? If long dating kills love then what will a marriage do to it, marriage is a continuation of dating? Within a few weeks there isn't any love to kill, only perhaps a physical attraction that might wear off with long dating anyway, true love flourishes and blossoms with time, it is like a good wine and it needs to mature but I guess you wouldn't understand this if you only date each partner for a few weeks at a time! Martin Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/6/2006 1:28:44 PM   Martin, You can understand if this person can become a relative to you for a rather short time. Marriage is absolutely different from dating. For dating you are looking a fun, beautiful woman to spend nice time together. Actually you are still alone during this time. Marriage is then you are living with feeling WE. Then you date a person for a long time you learn to keep distance in relationships, you learn not to trust person completely. Long dating can end up to a marriage but the new real relationships would start (if they start) only after marriage, not earlier. And people have to change their already established ONE plus ONE relationships. Otherwise it would not a real marriage but a fake marriage with very high possibility of divorce. Why do you need to date a person for a long time and create relationships that are absolutely inappropriate in marriage? Bagira Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/6/2006 1:34:56 PM   Martin, I think that you were married and may be for some period of time it was a happy marriage. So you can try to understand woman’s point of view. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/6/2006 3:06:53 PM   Do you speak English Bagira? MIKE00 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/13/2006 5:37:25 AM   wtravo2 Hello mate have not been on for awhile just having a read err couple of corrections . No i dont pay a bird for sex ! definately not i keep her in style err because i happen to love her -----------------no other reason ( i don't know where you guys get these ideas ) but in hindsite we all do pay for it ! in one way or another. I choose to go there 3/4/5 months a year --its my choice i can afford and iam certainly not interested in marriage . I HAVE JUST MET A GUY FROM NEW ZEALAND almost carbon copy lifestyle with a girl there as i have and several mates have ! i fail to see the problem ! fortunately i know a couple of guys in business there 1 is a pom he does keep the eye on her at times reports i get are all clean no she is not jumping the bed on me ( what you don't think man i'd protect his turf just a little ) of course he does ------------iam happy its suits a lot of people this sort of relations and unless guys are totally blind anybody can see its on the increase --------and fast ! You take a bird out in Aussie meal booze good times you have spent what $100/ $200 the girls hear well 50% of time you will go home with no bedtime jaunt the other 50% of the time you have in fact paid for it yes??? she's cost you $200. lets face it you meet blokes had they been born female theyd be the biggest tart in town ( i know i would have been ) made round to go round ! I know a bird hear chemist by day whore by night drives a new car lives on own nice house its all paid for - when i asked hey lorraine why do you do it - reply was - why not !! rest my case ! I MEAN TO SAY either you give it to a bird here $$ or thier or anywhere - result is the same its just that in FSU one recieves a whole new world of class and for 1/2 the price as FSU girl is incapable of cleaning you out to the level of western bird ! (A) they'd not know how to do it ! (B) they are to far away to do it --------- complexities would pull them up real quick ! (C) get cleaned out by a western bird and it will take you 10 years to recover if at all but the FSU can only get whats given via your pocket ----------you are in control absolutely of your own hip pocket --yes guys advantages of us stacked well in our favour and you can walk away - having said all this i believe only problems created are by individuals that are led by the dicks !!!!!! one has to be strong ! mike 00 geriatrix Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/13/2006 10:06:48 AM   And then there is "The Seven Year Itch" ! How many marriages get past the seven years without desire/attempts to cheat? wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/13/2006 9:44:24 PM   MIKE00, you said we all pay for it eventually. I don't pay for it pal, never did sorry to disappoint you I'm not your kind. There is no problem mate. Do what you like with your money, no reasons to explain. Your right anyway for what you're trying to accomplish, it may be more economic to sponsor the gal in Ukraine and drop by every quarter to fund the re-styling of her wardrobe, cosmetic supplies, etc. You might want to think hiring someone local though to save you the trips (even more economic), keep her in style the whole year and send you some pics. Just a thought. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > After marriage statistics
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