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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > How long does it really take Author Post CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/2/2003 12:44:58 PM   How long does it really take to get to know someone, and whether two people are right for each other??? I think that this is different for each couple and for each circumstance. But, one of the natures of getting to know someone over the internet, and long distance, is that it (from my experience) takes longer to get to know someone in this way, as opposed to getting to know someone who lives in your same town or city. The feelings that two people of long distance relationship feels are certainly valid (you individuals are feeling them). Talking on the phone is a really good idea, because through talking on the phone, you are at least able to respond to each other's thoughts spontaneously, and can get to know each other's reactions, etc. I think that the internet (and writiing letters, which was the way that people over a distance used to get to know each other 60 or more years ago), can have it's advantages too. For example, getting to know someone over a physical distance can take sexuality out of the decision-making process, and subsequently, you can think more objectively and clearly, and are able to understand someone more deeply without the color/ influence of sex. Of course, there is nothing wrong with sex But, for me, at least, I can get to know someone in a more unbiased way if I get to know their personality, mind, emotions, and character without sex being involved at first. I am actually happy that I was able to email Olga and speak with her on the phone for 6 months before I had actually met her in person. This gave both of us time to ask each other a lot of questions and to just talk about different thoughts and issues, and see whether we were compatible. I think that getting to know someone over time also helps you see distinctions in their character. For example, there was another woman I was getting to know about the time when I first got to know Olga, and this woman seemed great and intelligent, etc., until I talked to her on the phone a couple of times and then I found that she expressed anger in a way that I did not feel comfortable with (It seemed to me that she expressed her anger a bit too easily and without cause), even though I did not pick this up through emails. But, we had to use Russian-English translation software because she did not speak much English at all, and this could have been part of the reason why it was more difficult to get to know her real personality). Also. to really get to know someone, I think it is important to observe their actions as well as what they say. Actions show/ reveal deep characteristics and beliefs of a person. A person's actions rarely lie in telling you who a person is especially if you pay attention to a person's actions over time. So Now, you guys have the opportunity to see and observe whether yourself the woman your communicating can be happy for a long period of time, and whether you are compatible and right for each other. I hope that that things surpass your highest expectations... Good luck to all!! wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/23/2003 10:14:11 PM   Codered, you're right, it takes long. I am seeing a girl from Ukraine for the last eight months with three trips to Ukraine and our relationship is still growing. It was after the third trip that I felt she is definitely the one that I was meant to be with. She says she felt like this after our first meeting. Most people do the typical thing of going to visit the girl to comply with INS and then wait until ten months later when the visa is issued. Then marriage takes place without knowing each other well. When I told my lawyer, I was going on second trip, he informed me I didn't need to travel twice ... Letters are not enough and frequent phone calls are not enough either. You are right transatlantic relationships are costly and if you want to do things right, it will cost more than ten thousand. I have already spent about seven to eight thousand total since I started the russian dating thing including immigration attorney and I flew on miles ... A few months ago, I had corrspondence with three other Russian girls, gorgeous on pictures one better than the other ages 18, 20, 21. All letters translated, phone calls, etc. I had strong feelings for the girl from Ukraine, but then the temptation was there. Inside I was praying something would go wrong with the Russians and as a result I would focus again on the girl from Ukraine because I promised myself I wouldn't pursue other girls anymore. I got a visa and was ready to go see one of them, the one I liked the most and then go see the girl from Ukraine when it hit me. I called this girl from the Volga region without the interpreter. She didn't speak one word of English. I asked her how she would come from her village to Ufa by train? She kept saying "train? train? train?". In one moment I had lost interest. How the hell am I going to fall in love with a girl I cannot exchange a word and understand each other. I wrote to her that I was going to postpone my visit until spring due to conflict with my work schedule. She never replied. That was the end of it. I realized how lucky I am to have Yulia. She is a gorgeous girl, just turned twenty (fifteen years younger), phenomenal body, natural blond with gray blue eyes and most important and I can't emphasize that more: she loves me with all her heart, I have never ever felt so loved in my life. But, it took some time and some ups and downs to realize this. I now thank God every day for being so lucky to have her because she is my whole world. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > How long does it really take
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