Is this usual? I am confused

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Russian brides > Main Forum > Is this usual? I am confused

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Joseph_K

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	Send: 8/7/2006 7:26:31 AM

Hello guys. I write here my first post because I feel too disappointed. I have been writting to an ukrainian girl for three months, and I decided to meet her in Ukraine. She is really lovely and affectionate and I really like her a lot. But she asked me to meet her in Kiev (she is from Mariupol). That wouldn´t be a trouble, but she wants to come toguether her translator. So, I must pay 100$ per day for translator, a three room apartment for them (besides my own hotel room), flight tickets from Mariupol to Kiev, and meals and other expenses for three people. It adds a lot of money. I wrote to her telling that. I haven´t received her reply still, but I am afraid it is going to be unpleasant. What do you think about that? Is it usual to meet to ladies in that terms, so I am a miserly? Is my girl trying to take advantage of me? I am too confused. If you tell me these terms are usual, then I will never contact an ukrainian girl again. They would be too expensive for us, poor spanish men. The would be only for american and canadian guys :)))))) !. And very important too: I am looking for a long-term relationship. I can assume that can be expensive... but if only the first meeting costs five thousand dollards, how can guys afford a long-term relationship? And when they are just married... are they as expensive as before it?

cornwall

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	Send: 8/7/2006 2:20:14 PM

Hola, Join the club, Jose. I feel for you. My lady's name began with E. How about yours? I wrote to lady from Mariupol for 4 months and exchanged 200 emails each. We split up just recently before arranging a meeting. Really emotionally draining. If you have her home address, then write to her in Russian. I wrote to her home address and explained the situation. Check out thread http://forum.fiance.com/forum2.asp?Main=ShowTopic&topicid=2473 < br>In fact I bought the ticket to Kiev for August 16th just before we split up. But the story has a happy ending. I wrote to a few ladies after this fiasco, and have exchanged 2 emails with another lady from Ukraine. I have a choice of meeting in her home town or Kiev, and she is going to help arrange everything. In my opinion just do not write to anyone in Mariupol. It isn't worth the hassle! I live in Extremadura, Spain, some weeks of the year, Jose. Hasta luego mi amigo, Dave :)

pakio

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	Send: 8/7/2006 4:42:58 PM

Well, I don't know how this will sound to you, but I think that before starting serious correspondence with a woman, you should consider first the options you have for a meeting with her. Language and geography are very important issues. Specially if you don't own a bank. You must think carefully if you have real chances of meeting her. And do it beforehand. If your girl would speak english, spanish, (or any other language in common with you) and lived in Kiev... Well, no need for translator or apartment to rent, and everything is muhc easier. Besides, it must be annoying to have a translator in a date with the woman you want. Personally, I don't think you should blame her for that. But I think it has been your mistake, for being unrealistic, writting to a girl that you can not afford to meet. Nothing wrong, really, just find a girl that is more convenient for you. PS: I think it is the agency who made those terms for the meeting.

nasfan6

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	Send: 8/7/2006 4:46:56 PM

Cornwall, the situation is simple. You first divide her irrational need for the agency. Or the one they like to brainwash them with. Oh, you can't do this without us, you can't to that without us. Hell I remember my wife telling me that a few at the agency encouraged her to write others because I wasn't going to show up. One thing about the Mariupol ladies and this goes for the majority of them, they are serious about searching for a man and leaving Ukraine. Though the main impetus is finding a man living in Europe. My wife has admitted this same thing to me, she prefered to find a man who lived in Europe, but since our relationship became so strong, the distance didn't matter to her. She knows when she goes back she's not going to be treated well by former friends and maybe some family members due to jealousy. So don't eliminate the ladies from Mariupol, because the chances are they just might be more apt to leave their country than some others. Well who cares, either way, don't write off all the girls in Mariupol because of one bad experience. Actually as I stated before I think you got some bad advice and acted on what your perceived as experience and knowledge about a certain area. Anyone who may be interested in Mariupol and information regarding Mariupol can email me anytime at lastlapmark6@aol.com, if I don't have the answer I know my wife will or at least able to put you in contact with someone that will.

soonermike

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	Send: 8/7/2006 5:28:48 PM

Cornwall Congrats, amigo! You sounded a litle bummed from the last attempt, I'm glad you got back on the horse. Good luck! Hast la bye bye! ;) Mike

cornwall

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	Send: 8/7/2006 7:21:32 PM

Hi Todos, nasfan6: I wasn't writing off Mariupol ladies, just the majority of Mariupol agencies. I think we agree on that. I'm sure we do not want to keep seeing this "meet me in Kiev" situation repeated non stop for the next umpteen years. In my next selection process, I chose ladies that lived in Kiev or in a small city near Kiev, so I would not face the same problem I had before. Once bitten twice shy, as they say. pakio: I think Joseph would be willing to meet his lady in Mariupol. Much less of the dinero (money). And he does not want to be emotionally blackmailed to meet her in Kiev. This is the big point. It's playing with your emotions. I was there a few weeks ago and know what Joseph_K is going through. You make a good point of choosing the right geographic area. Near an airport that's easy and cheap to get to. I am also in touch with an English speaker (level 9) as you say and it is a joy to talk to her. The problem with Mariupol is that it is not near anywhere nice for an alternative city except Kiev. Joseph K: Tell her that you're arriving by cargo boat into Mariupol harbour. That will upset the agency. What do you think you will do then? Would you be flying Madrid-Kiev? Flying the lady from Mariupol to Kiev is the same as flying someone Madrid to London. It's un poco crazy! Some of the ladies do speak Spanish, Joseph. soonermike: Muchas Gracias Actually I might just start dating English girls again. Most are level 6 and above. What am I doing there? I've seen the light. Hallelujah! Or would a London girl insist on only meeting me in Madrid? Only joking :) Buena Suerte! Dave :)

FedMan

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	Send: 8/7/2006 8:49:52 PM

You don't need a translator. Buy a phrase book and a Russian/English English/Russian dictionary. Also write down words spoken most often or words you might need like bathroon, hungry, sick, sleep, and so on. Next get an apartment with 2 bedrooms. This will save you money over a hotel because you only pay for one room and you can cook in the apartment. Meet her in her hometown so you can see how she interacts with friends and family. All you need is the girl, not the agency or the translator. If she refuses then she is after your money or gifts. Once your money is gone ... so is she. An average trip from the US costs between 3-4 thousand. Good Luck, FedMan

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	Send: 8/7/2006 11:59:02 PM

I think Nas is right about the need to get around the brainwashing of the agencies in Mariupol. I wrote a girl from there a few weeks ago while I was in Kharkov and she was going to meet me there. Then, a the last minute, pulled the "I need to bring an agency translator" card. I told her I knew plenty of translators in Kharkov, including a good friend who is an English professor at a local university there, and she replied, via agency email, that it would be more comfortable with an agency translator since we had never met. I basically gave her the option to come and use mine...I didn't hear back from her again after that.

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	Send: 8/8/2006 12:05:27 AM

I was recently writing another Mariupol girl from the same website and had some very positive emails going. I told her I was coming to Ukraine in a couple of weeks (I'll be leaving this weekend ) and it would be nice to meet her. She wrote me nice, personalized things about Mariupol, if I would be there over my birthday (I will), etc. She even sent me her mobile number. I sent her a nice hello sms and then wrote a letter to her the next day, and received the following reply: "Yes, I received you sms. But I had to go to the agency to get it translated. Perhaps, you shouldn’t try them. You write me rather often and you can tell everything yourself in the letter and I will get it translated. The beaches are not really far. And they are quite nice, I can tell you. It is very surprising how easily you talk of flying in my country to see me. I am working everyday. In order to earn some money, I have to secretly invite clients to come to my home. Thus, I earn every day and I have arrangements for long time in advance. Sorry, but I don’t think that we can meet quite soon. Another reason is that I still know not much about you. I am of old school morals. I would like to know more of you before coming to meet you. Is it ok with you? My best wishes to you," To me, this has agency influence all over it and is a completely different tone than the past few letters.

alexander

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	Send: 8/8/2006 1:46:42 AM

RK here is my translation :) "But I had to go to the agency to get it translated" = YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY TO FOR CORRESPONDENCE. "I would like to know more of you before coming to meet you. Is it ok with you?" = THE AGENCY NEEDS TO MAKE SOME MONEY BEFORE YOU MEET ME AND REALIZE THAT I AM WORKING FOR THE AGENCY AND NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN MOVING OUT OF UKRAINE.

Deano

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	Send: 8/8/2006 3:10:10 AM

Joseph. This is a flat out scam! Drop that girl now! $100 is way over the top when the going rate for a translator is $5-$7 and hour. I will admit in Kiev it will be $10 per hour but this translator is not from Kiev. She is from Bumfuke Mariupol. This is an old scam that still works on a lot of first timers. What they do is a girl and her girlfriend (They both may be fluent in English but you wont know that)will enjoy and all expense paid vacation in Kiev on your dime. When they get home the will split the take of the money they made off of you for translation. I have met many girl in Kiev from the outer cities in Ukraine but all arrived alone and we used the translator I hired in Kiev. All also agreed to stay at my place with me. Try the two bedroom apartment offer if she is uneasy about it. In any case this girl is a scammer. Move on to the next one. Hello RK! I miss your call. I was at work. We'll catch up after Vegas I hope.

Joseph_K

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	Send: 8/8/2006 3:33:14 AM

Cornwall: My ladie´s name begins with M. ... so she is no the same girl, but it can be the same agency. Thank you for your advices, I will try to follow them. By the way, she hasn´t replied me... would you think she will reply ? :))) Nice country Extremadura. I live in La Rioja. Pakio: Well, maybe I have no been realistic... But I can afford a trip to Kiev, without a translator, or a trip to Mariupol, with translator included. Trouble is just both Kiev-Translator combinated... do you know translator ask for 100 $ per day, only in fees? Translator´s flights, accommodation, fees and meals increase prices in 2.500$. Is that realistic???????????????? I have not complaints about girl or her agency, because they have been clear from the beginning. Just I was asking if it is the usual way to meet an ukrainian girl. Really, I think if she does no speak english, is much better to meet to her in her own city, and to contract a local translator. And if she wants to travel, she should make an effort and to dispense with translator. Is any wrong in my way of thinking? I am new in this world.

Joseph_K

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	Send: 8/8/2006 3:54:30 AM

Deano: Thank you! I think like you. If she wants to travel to Kiev, it is not a problem... we can get a local translator, and to save a lot of money in fees and accommodation. But I have no made any offer. I have just told them I can not afford these conditions. If she wants to meet me in Kiev both her own translator, and I pay for all, I presume she is looking for a millionaire man (I am sure she is not silly and knows what it is cost); really, I can not blame her for this... I am looking for a millionaire woman too, but I am not lucky !!! :))))) Thank you very much for your words.

pakio

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	Send: 8/8/2006 6:35:49 AM

Joseph, ¿Que tal? I am also Español, and like you, I have a limited budget (I am sure that most americans and Canadians are in the same situation). I think we are "brothers in arms" and I honestly try to support you. You said you are disappointed, and that you could not afford to meet any Ukrainian girl in those terms. I am just telling you that it is possible to meet a girl in more favourable conditions. It is necessary to consider these issues when choosing which girl you are going to write. Do not risk to get emotionally involved with someone that is too difficult for you to meet in person. If you write to an agency girl that doesn't speak your language and lives in a "remote" town, well, that makes things more expensive and complicated for a meeting. An agency is a business. They exist to make money. They are expensive, maybe abusive, but that is not a scam, unless the girl is not real. If you want to meet one of their girls, sooner or later you will have to pay for their services: translator, tour, or whatever. At least, that's what they want. And the girl, most probably trust the agency more than you. She has never seen you, but she is everyday at the agency. You don't need to expend 5000$ in a first meeting. Find a girl that is kind, compatible with you, that can converse with you in whatever language and that lives in some area that is well communicated with you ( affordable regular flights and so). Think that, if everything is fine, there will be more meetings... Venga, a por ella!

nasfan6

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	Send: 8/8/2006 6:57:49 AM

Deano, you're making a huge assumption that this is a scam and not an agency doing. Two agencies in Mariupol do this with regimented regularity. Alliance agency and Mariupol Mariage agency. This is their pat offer from the beginning. Meet with translator and pay a ton for translator. I replied back that this offer was unacceptable. Their translator emailed back and asked "can't you afford this?" Which I responded Oh I can afford it, but I'm not such an idiot to pay 100 bucks a day, plus room and board for something I can get at the Sherborne Apartments for 10 bucks an hour. I wouldn't express to an agency what I can and cannot afford. Until you break the dependency on the agency they weild a lot of influence with the girl. Suggest using a local translator in Mariupol and set up a three way call with her. Find another girl whose english is at a more appropriate level. I will agree with Deano on one aspect, that their knowledge of the english language is somewhat better than they will let on. The bottom line gentlemen is the agencies are not a benevolent group attempting to match make out of the goodness of their hearts. This is a business and the sad part is the girls are the product, when the girl is gone they have no product, thus no income from this product. A sad commentary on the reality of the Client Agency relationship. Some of you have found out that once your girl becomes engaged they treat her like the plague. Oh they may tell her in the beginning, we will help you find a man, we will help you with getting your visa to another country etc. etc. That's just not the case. If she has questions, they are busy, they don't have time for her, or a litany of other excuses why they can't help her after they are engaged. Once you learn the rules of the game it is easy to play. Simple rules, agencies don't become your long lost friend, they don't give a hoot in hell if their girls find the man of the dreams, it's just not part of their business plan.

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	Send: 8/8/2006 7:11:18 AM

Joseph...the name of the first girl from Mariupol I referenced above starts with an "M" also...same scenario you just described.

cornwall

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	Send: 8/8/2006 8:12:20 AM

So that's either Maria Margareta Maya Marina Is the 2nd to last letter an i, y, t, or n?

Joseph_K

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	Send: 8/8/2006 8:12:46 AM

RK... is she chestnut??? My e-mail is joseph_k1976@hotmail.com. If she is chestnut, you can send me her name!

nasfan6

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	Send: 8/8/2006 2:41:10 PM

As for meeting elsewhere, you could meet your Mariupol lady in Simferopol and do the Crimea trip. Especially this time of year Crimea is beautiful. RK I got your email and I will write you back later.

Russian brides > Main Forum > Is this usual? I am confused