The FSU designation is still pertinent. All of the countries we generally refer to have large Russian speaking, and ethnically Russian populations. These countries used to be much more homogeneous, with there own languages and cultures. This is the direct result of having been former Soviet states. The effect has not gone away in a generation.
The infrastructures are still of the old Soviet Union as they are slowly being replaced. Culture does nt change within a generation.
The USSR, for all the fond memories Alena has, went bankrupt, attempting to keep up with the west in military production while still providing food, etc., for its people. Before the development of its vast natural gas and oil reserves (with is now bankrolling the economy) the old Soviet system simply collapsed upon itself as there was little incentive by anyone to do more than the absolute minimum. There was little production and little work ethic. Greed and corruption from government officials also bled what little blood the economy had.
The disadvantages inherent in the recent economic trouble of the FSU CERTAINLY produced opportunaity for western men. It made us visible to beautiful and educated FSU women of a type who never would have given us a second glance in our own countries.
But I agree with Alena, regarding the false expectations on both sides. FSU women saw western movies and assumed that all western men were rich (easy money). Western men saw beautiful women who seemed available to them, read letters over the internet, and assumed that Russian women were easy for the picking. Both groups were wrong.
The BEST that we western men can hope for is that the economic and political problems will allow us to get a "foot in the door" with a wonderful Russian woman. That's all. Once we get a foot in the door, we are on our own. We will succeed of fail depending on OUR qualities and hers; depending on OUR real interest in her as a person and her real interest in us.
There ARE MILLIONS of possible scams on both sides of this equation. That is why I prefer to go and MEET ladies in person. I've always had a knack for sensing the type of person someone really is. and it seldom fails me. (Even in my last "failed relationship" I really found exactly what I was looking for when I went.)
Its not as easy as many people want to think. And I truly think that this quest does seem to draw in those men who will NEVER find the lady they want, from time to time. But for normal guys, there are still trememdous opportunities so long as you recognize what IS possible and what ISN'T.
thank you for comment. What is concerning materialism is a point at issue. I think, it shows the condition of dispair , may be. Each woman wants the best to her child and her. She cann't be a good mother when she is in financial problems. She needs a support and she go directly with her point.
What is better - to be materialistic in the beginning of relationship and say exactly what does she need or in the end of marriage, when the man lose half as minimum? I saw it a lot on West... Am I right? Russian don't do that. They need less the the wesyern women.
I take your point. Obviously, a woman does not want to leave her country and have financial problems. She can have them at home. However, my point was different. "rich enough to provide a beautiful and bright life for me and my kid" sounds disagreeable even to the rich, I think. A man wants to be loved for what he is, not for what he has.
It means, she doesn't want to take a chance to have problems with her kid in western country eather. I understand, doesn't sound good:), but very direct.. who know, may be she will find. I know my girlfriend did the same and they are happy in LA.
I am sure, man want to be love and there is no problem, but it going to be even better If finansial problems will have the place for a while.
There is some: using designation FSU means just symbol, sign and nothing else. I did try to explain the meaning, to show the difference between past and present.
The background of typical russian culture doesn't exist in the way as you understand it...sorry to tell you that. There are a lot russian-speaking people, but they are not really russian nationality. You may go on Brighton Beach in NY and you may see only russian speaking people there, but they are not russian... Don't lump everything together.
Advice. Ask your ladies the nationality and you will see the answers, especially from the South of Ukraine.
"Foot in the door" :) very inherent to american mentality. very pragmatic way to express the problems. Cause and effect.
I don't want to be polytical, but I know what really happened and when was the beginning ( 1947, Cherchill, Allen Dalles, the notes of Antonio Gramschi ) . Cause and effect. It' easy. The bankrupcy is the effect, but not a cause.
If you do like russian women and culture, go in Syberia, Ural.They are there.
It's not easy to find a soul mate , I would like to give you my moral support - you WILL find the best one, because you have a motivation. Just only one thing - DON'T USE "FOOT IN THE DOOR", PLEASE.
I hope you can read this post. I am glad to read your view on life in eatern europe and russia and the 'west'. ( Is that ok description). It is good to get a viewpoint of how culture and thought process is with girls we are interested in. A couple points:
-We here only know of one generation, current one
-Parents of current girls only knew of one way- socialism. Had no idea of what the rest of world was doing.
Relatively happy, of course you had nothing to compare it to. I agree that after breakup, things must have been
really bad. remember, it takes time to build from scratch. It will take many years and generations to catch up to
rest of world. Your comparison of US being one day Mexico or China, bad example...going from leading economy in world to a third world or one that starting to build their economy( very promising thou).
- You mentioned people being slaves in europe, I take exception...slaves are people that had no choice on what to do and where to go and were owned by someone. Having the choice to work in europe does not qualify for term.
- I am curiouswhat is reason your relationship did not work...did you find another adventure or wanting to go back home. I understand if you do not answer.
- Thank you very much for your post..hope you will be a valuable inputer to this forum. Hope you understand where I am coming from, I just want to learn from you what motivates the girl I hope one day to be my partner. To let you know, I am trying to learn culture and language, it is my way of showing my seriousness.
"Foot in the door" is actually an old phrase that refers to something that might happen to a door-to-door salesman. He knocks at the door and the homeowner opens the door, thinking it might be a friend coming to call. Realizing that it was instead, a salesman, the homeowner would often slam the door, not allowing the salesman to make his "sales pitch". Without that opportunity, of course, he doesn't succeed in what he came for. But if the salesman manages to get his "foot in the door", the homeowner cannot immediately close it, and the salesman has the opportunity to start talking, to start delivering his salespitch. If the salespitch is of no interest to the homeowner, of course he will still not succeed, but with his foot in the door, at least he has a chance to speak or be noticed. If the door is just slammed in his face, he never has a chance at all.
THAT is what I mean here. There are some GREAT western men out there, who may not be perfect young physical specimins. Beautiful women here in out country will not even consider them. They "slam the door" in our faces without even noticing us. We are invisible to them. So we never have a chance to even speak to them seriously, like my salesman example above.
The economic and political problems of Eastern Europe ONLY allow us to get the equivalent of a "foot in the door", they give us the opportunity to speak to these women and let them know who we are. If what we are, still does not appeal to the women, they will not accept us. We will, in essence, have our foot kicked out of the doorway and the door will be shut anyway. But at least we have a chance to present ourselves.
There was nothing bad with socialism, it was the system to keep the society in one direction and it was good for majority, it did work .We had strict rules , there was not too much crime, everything was under control, the people had jobs, stability. Well, I am from rich Ukranian (USSR) city and I may say it was great life. We didn't know what to do with money ( rubles) :)I know that situation was different depending on region USSR, some places were terrible especially in Russia...some districts in Russia was like different world for me... and different people...even I am from Ukraine and my parents with very russian background, roots ... and I felt different in Russia. I couldn't understand how the people might be happy to live like this, as I saw there... But they were happy,friendly, opened, honist. They might share with you last slice of bread , russian soul, without any crafty, playing games ...
What is now? I go in Ukraine once in a year and stay there as long as 3 months and what I see just kills me...There is no system, croud of useless generation with a bottles of beer walking on the streets...I don't understand how they can drink a beer at morning and go to college? What type of education they may get there after bottle of beer? Mentality? - It's ruined forever. Young one's seems to me as a bunch of users. When I ask them, why they don't have any goals, why they don't read the books , why they think that somebody must give them something just because they are? They charge the ... parents. They think the parents obliged to give them what they want, because some parents do, but most of the parents cann't do that.
Guess, what I want to say? When the parents couldn't provide the right things for them, they will find the nice man from ... West. It's easy.
Very important to know the background of your lady, how the parents do, what they did before and how they feel about everything..If you hear a lot of complaints from them - just think hard.
We also, have a levels. I used to know people( friends) who have a good level of life and I know for sure, they will never let them kids to walk on the streets with beer or be on the market.
-Parents of current girls only knew of one way- socialism. Had no idea of what the rest of world was doing.
Did you know what the rest of world was doing? What do you mean "rest of world"?
... and generations to catch up to
rest of world. The world is different. :)
My relationship didn't work for only one reason. We are a very good friends now and I am glad to encourage him as much as I can. I use the combination of both - US and UA and I have no problems with it. I work in US as long as I need and then I go home and travel a lot where I want. I am not looking for an adventure, I have it. :)It depends what do you mean "adventures"? We are all different people. I don't recognize the stereotypes.. I've got rid of it forever. Thank you to America. :)
Thank you forexplaining to me how life was to you under socialism. I understand it is meant for everybody to have something and everyone was equal. The problem with socialism is there is NO incentive to anything beyond what is asked. Pay is all the same whether you are fast worker or slow. Why do something better than someone else? Do you see this problem with spocialism. I understand that it has worked for generations and many people were happy with it but eventually it was time for a change, that is only constant in life. And with change comes confusion and there are many prople who are not comfortable with change. It was nice you came from well off family, maybe it affected your way of thinking, maybe being from someone who struggled through life.
'I couldn't understand how the people might be happy to live like this'. There is a saying ,'you never miss something you never had. Alena, you had what these poor people never had.
What you see in Ukraine now is called 'blame everybody but yourself'. Don't worry, here in US, we have PLENTY of that type of attitude. It is very hard to change an attitude like that. I do not understand culture in Ukraine to try to explain this, moving to a capitalistic society maybe will not work there but give it a chance. I see when in Ukraine that there are people who work hard to achieve success.
-Parents of current girls only knew of one way- socialism. Had no idea of what the rest of world was doing. Yes I knew what rest of world was doing, through uncensored newspapers, TV and radio. Whether it be, far east, middle east, south america or europe. From what I understand, people in SU only knew what there told by government. Is this not true???
and generations to catch up to
rest of world. The world is different. :) I am sorry, I meant economically, infrastructure.
I am sorry marriage did not work out for you but what is important is you are happy and healthy and with a wealth of experiences I could only hope to have. In US, life is VERY different in where you live. I am in west coast and it is very liberal and casual with plenty of ritzy people. I don't know if that is good or bad but the weather is great!! Thank you, Alena!!!
I will tell you Alena, yes I agree with what you said about some women needing and pretty much requiring a man to have much more money than his Ukrainian counterpart.
It agrees with what I experienced first hand with a certain type of girl from the FSU.
We call these girls gold-diggers. When I mention what some of these girls say and do to the other Ukrainian girls I met -- all the non-gold digger girls frown and say "We call those girls... gold-diggers". You left that out of your message. Girls deplore girls that only want money -- it is not the norm with all women in the FSU - just the greedy ones.
You fell out of love with the guy who saved you from Socialism and Poverty and now live a life of adventure? Good for you. I can't say I respect that type of attitude, but you would be what I consider a nightmare to correspond with - meet, marry and eventually divorce.
You confirm my thoughts on the new generation of greedy pretty girls who "EXPECT" a richer man to marry, and not just a normal income level for American's either. Before I visited Ukraine myself - I would have thought a guy making $50-60k (USD) per year would have been more than adequate to raise a family with a girl from the FSU. Your statement confirms you would think this guy would be poor and mediocre by your standards. I feel sorry for your ex-husband who believed you wanted love.
Your a nightmare-woman lecturing to us on socialism and its our fault that the west brought greed and corruption to the FSU? omfg - drugs, alcoholism, crime and prostitution were rampant in the USSR to the point of it being almost a national security concern in the Soviet Union before Glasnost and the breakup of the USSR.
So don't go preaching from some lie you expect the gullible to believe. You also preach how others in the FSU always make it someone else's fault too? And you had just lectured us on how its the West's fault that scammers exist? omfg...
** BACK TO TOPIC **
The forum was about ARMY of BRIDES. I used them, and met real girls. One was an Alena-girl (golddigger expecting millionaire or very close to it - with no sincerity on her behalf. When I met her, I could see her trying to divorce when she got bored with maintaining her promise to keep her marriage vows or have a true family - like Alena has done.) This girl lied completely on her profile and every single letter she wrote. She said she was just being careless. The insincerity of the girl really has me wanting to post her profile so guys get warned off by this one...
The other I met from ARMY of BRIDES was her complete opposite - she was humble and modest. She is pretty and on this website (Fiance) and will turn 19 soon. She was just hoping to find true love and be able to start work after college to help her new family out. She wasnt just after money and fun, with no concious like Alena and this other girl. I just wasnt as attracted to her as I needed to be to make a life-long committment to her
Unlike Alena,I believe in keeping promises and not blaming someone else because I grow bored with them and wanted to live an adventurous and selfish life. I only want to marry once. I guess you can blame the West for divorces too Alena? It was Henry the VIII's fault that women can get divorced in FSU now? lol! omfg... your a joke.
19 year old sincere and on this site looking for a long termer? Yeah, I believe that. Wow I really wonder about some guys that go trolling in the FSU and wonder why they get burned. It's pretty simple to figure out.
I contacted almost 10 ladies on this site. Did so two months prior to visiting Ukraine. None of them wanted to meet in person even they expressed excitement for my visiting Ukraine. Reasons for not meeting were: too busy, out of town, and too early to meet - would like to write more first. Those ladies who have good English skill status still requested that I contact their translator instead of providing their contact info; while others will not provide contact info and ask to be contacted thru this agency. Obviously these are designed to deplete my credit (they call it BRIDIKs).
You wont find many men that have established a relationship with any of the ladies on army of brides site. You will also find that some of the girls here on fiance com are also on army of brides (EKATERINA in SUMY previous post is one of them )so it is best to buy the ladies address from here first( fiance com ) and buy the ladies address on army of brides and see if they match, then send her some flowers to her address and make sure you get the photos taken of her with the flowers.
Despite what has been said elsewhere it can be done -the genuine ladies will not object to having their photograph taken and there are a couple of agencies that will offer this photo and flowers service in ukraine and Russia.
Army of Brides in my opinion is uncannily like AnastasiaWeb. I had my doubts about it and can now reveal some evidence for why I believe it is nonsense.
I started correspondence through Army Of Brides with a girl on their site called Inna in May. At that time I was already planning on going to Kiev at the end of last month, June, however I never told her this in correspondence.
As the time for my trip was looming I found her details on another site that arranges dates for you without any prior letter writing. What I did (having already exchanged 3 letters on Army of Brides) was got them to set me up on a date with her when I arrived in Kiev. This all went as planned and we met. During the date I mentioned to her that I had already sent her letters via Army of Brides which she had replied to. She told me she knew nothing about it. Thus leading me to conclude Army of Brides like AnastasiaWeb is a scam-in-chief website and is to be avoided at all costs. Use it at your peril.
I still used both Anastasia and Army of brides. Each girl I talked to -- I actually met. I won't say that I don't believe you guys had problems -- but it was fine with me. Only problem I had was the delay of the girl getting to the office, because most only check letters once a week and have to spend a few hours responding and reading letters.
For me, I will use all available options. Like I mentioned, I had next day meetings with girls on both websites -- they looked like their photos and met at very short notice (with 48 hours).
I never wrote back any of the girls I met, but I could have. I will probably just meet girls firsthand when and if I ever go back. It is so disappointing to see a profile and write a girl who is nothing like her photos or letters...
... and vice versa because I have heard so many stories of girls being disappointed in us guys who don't look anything like profile photos.