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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > language barrier Author Post wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/4/2003 3:33:46 PM   Anyone can offer advice on how to overcome language barrier? I mean not only during the first letters, phone calls and the first visit but also afterwards during the long period of wait for the visa. The girl is learning English at school, but the educational system in Russia is very superficial. CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/4/2003 4:17:50 PM   Superficial? You seem to have noting good to say about Russia or the Ukraine. Once she understands English and understands what little respect you have for her country and her heritage I wounder what respect she will have for you. I see a storm brewing in your relationship in the near future. And my Olga speaks english just as well if not better than you. Only with a very cute accent, Oh! and she was taught in Russia, hmmmmmmmmm Image that! wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/4/2003 11:29:29 PM   You seem to take everything personally because you are married to a Russian. So, what?? There are positives about Russia today, the women, that's it. That's what I have seen. Everything that I said is well supported and true. As far as my girlfriend, she knows what I think and has no problem. If you know Russia so well, you should know that most Russians recognize how bad their situation is currently and have a lot of negative things to say about their government and the elite (mafia). As far as your prophecies about my relationship, comments coming from a fake lawyer do not matter to me. Imagine that! CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/4/2003 11:58:40 PM   lol Fake!! I have a degree that states otherwise. Taking it personally? no! I just know its not as bad as the picture you paint. Yes I know of the situation there and what the people say. But the fact is you will never remove the her heritage from her. You will find this out the hard way. Seems you are a very negative person. I also remember the mafia at one time ran everything in the early years. They say History repeats itself. A concept many educated people strongly believe in. Took us time and a group called the FBI and Hoover to overpower them. hmmmmmmmmm Seems Russia may be going through the same conditions we went through in our early years of democracy. Think maybe they will come to overpower it someday? hmmmm maybe.. Check your crystal ball! seems you can predict the future so well. Me, I prefer to give the country a chance. No matter what you think your girl does love Mother Russia.. Well Im done with this conversation. Im not such a negative person. I tend to look for the good side. Good luck to all!! Jim Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/13/2003 3:37:47 AM   One answer may be to purchase a computer program that works reasonably well. It's called Systran 4.0. Not only will you be able to translate emails that run back and forth but it may give you some incentive to learn her language and her culture. I must agree with code red here, I'm afraid. I think it is an absolute necessity to have an understanding of each other's culture and heritage. wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/14/2003 9:54:43 PM   Thanks Jim I will give this software a try. I haven't found one that works. I don't think it's necessary to learn Russian or assimilate to her culture. Younger Russian girls are more westernized and their personality is easier to "massage" the way we want. They are easier to adapt to American lifestyle in other words and forget their previous country. After all, they all want to leave that place and live here. People who come here to live must adapt to the way things are here. This has nothing to do with culture. All these girls need is attention and affection and they'll be fine. CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/16/2003 1:58:30 PM   Jim I could not agree with you more. I have seen so many problems in relationships when couples do not accept and respect the others culture and heritage. When a marriage is started and the work comences in forming a co-hesive, functional family unit. the couple will realize many differences involved with basic values or role definition, which significantly complicate matters. Somehow they have to be delt with, accepted when possible, resolved when necessary, tolerated when all else fails, but not ignored. It is then that they become fully aware of how many differences there are, how deeply some are embedded, and how significant they are to their future together. Intimate relations across cultures can be plagued not only by an inability to understand each others perspectives, but sometimes also by a feeding of mistrust of the other culture, something which often manifests itself during a simple conflict. Give and take is necessary to any marrage. Their differences are often based on expectations, assumptions, and convictions neither one had been consciously aware of having because they were their from birth and raised on. Intercultural couples must become aware of the differences and see them in perspective (both their own and their partners)so they can manage them to their mutual advantage. To deny the other the right to their culture and force complete acceptance to others is a brew for failure. There are many different ways in which each partner approaches life. Some of their differences cause confusion and friction. Its like going through culture shock or psychological disorientation similar to that experienced by people living in foreign lands, but more severe and comprehensive because ot the totality of their commitment, fror them there is no going home to look forward to. To not be open to all this and to the understanding that her country is in her, is disrespectful. When you insult her country she will come to feel the insults directed at her. Wars have been fought over this. To think it would not destroy a marrage is fooling yourself. Good Luck to all!!! wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/16/2003 11:40:27 PM   The only disorientation occurs when one reads these baloney theories form this CorkRed character. stephen Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/17/2003 5:03:32 AM   wtrav02, are you serious? You say "All these girls need is attention and affection and they'll be fine." Are you suggesting that at the mere thought of a western lifestyle these women will take the first 20 to 40 years of their lives and throw it out the window? Are they to be somehow gripped by the vision of a KFC store or a 6 lane freeway filled with SUV's and forget everything their family has ever taught them from childhood? Excuse me while I laugh and gasp in disbelief. Her culture influences her values and attitudes, her history and her identity. Its part of her make-up. All this will be wiped out by a little attention and affection? Would you forget your upbringing so easily? If you really believe that you don't need to respect or understand her culture, and maybe you don't belive it, then marry a local woman, it will be cheaper than the divorce. CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/17/2003 12:01:30 PM   Stephen, Thanks! The poor man keeps disregarding the facts and seems to think the world is according to his view. He also likes to resort to name calling. What really surprises me is as you say, How can you become involved in a relationship with a woman and completely disregard her culture? (its really hard to believe that an educated person would think like that)That’s why I seem to think either he the fake and he is only here to try and cause trouble and be destructive with his advice. Its very dumb and incomprehensible to believe that you can disregard that which in bread and born in the psychological makeup of your partner. To have such a hate for the culture yet marry from that culture is what a desperate man? maybe no local woman will have him. Well the baloney around here is coming from one person. we all know who it is. Goodluck to all.. wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/17/2003 3:14:18 PM   I refer everyone to the archives of the site where your writings expose the exact kind of person that you are. Let me review your history: you are playing the "site's cop", you've harassed and called people names and caused members to leave the forum with your derogatory remarks. All came from you. You 've been ridiculed and ignored by many on this site. Then came a time that you provoked me. And, you must know that your shit will not stick on the wall in my case. It's going to bounce back to your face. If you were as considerate as you say you are about Russian women, you would also be considerate about not harassing people on this site. Everyone can make their conclusions by reading your postings. While you've turned this site to your own personal playground, you have the nerve to accuse me for pretentious behavior with the objective to be destructive to the site and the members of this site. I dare you to prove any of the information that I've given incorrect or the comments that I made intentionally misleading. I stated the facts as they are or in controversial matters as I see them. You don't have the ability to read me. You can't even come close. You can throw as much dirt as you want. After all, this is the web and you can hide behind it. CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/17/2003 4:18:23 PM   From you: CorkRed character, educational system in Russia is very superficial, they all want to leave that place and live here, Yalta. Two words: complete dump, if they realize you're a foreigner or even worse American, they will try to grab your ass and stick it to you anyway, This is who rules in Russia today: crooks, pimps and hookers, In Russia the attitude is "well, it will take time for us to adjust", "we're not ready, yet", everybody's pretending to be sick to avoid work and the like. People have no confidence, they are weak. That's why fifty years from now Russia will be the poorest nation and people like myself and others will still go to Russia to get the specific kind of woman that we desire because this is all Russia is capable to produce. This is just a little of the dirt you throw. These comments are uncalled for and not needed. Make your comments and remarks. But when you add your personal destructive agenda to your thoughts. Then yes I try to show where you are wrong. If you had the ability to make comments with out being negative then you would be left alone. And as you can see other people have addressed your pretentious behavior besides me. Im glade you can identify your behavior. Im not trying to turn the site to my personal play ground. I try to help while you try to be destructive. People come here for advice and information. Not to hear you dissatisfactions and how you will disregard you girls culture and how you will mold her to be your personal toy. I love my country. I have fought for my country in Granada, Panama, Lebanon. I have survived burns from a military helicopter crash and have been in realtime combat. I have been around the world many times. I have seen the sick, the hungry, the poor, the mafia, the black market oppression, the crudity of the world. I have been to Russia many times. Its not as bad as you make it all out to be. I respect the people and the country is working hard to recover. Its got its troubles, but so does the United States. Im not trying to come close to you. Im trying to show people encouragement not discouragement. Your right in that I don’t have the ability to read you. I cant read someone who cannot accept the fact that differences will play a major roll in a International Intercultural marriage. That’s like saying the moon has no effect on the earth, it just comes out at night. I don’t meant to offend you and if I do I apologize. However, lets be realistic here. There is no way you can get involved with a marriage of a Russian woman and disregard her culture. That’s misleading and destructive. I do hate to see misinformation. Here is your challenge. I have proved you wrong. Now with out being derogatory and with out being negative, please support your claim that culture means nothing in a international marriage. Show me your studies and show me your research that says she will adapt to you and this country with out you adapting to her needs and culture. Our country is that melting pot of the world and it has many cultures that people bring with them. They don’t ignore it. You cant get a government job with out showing you have cultural diversity training. So That’s the challenge. Address the issue and support your claim. Please! I respect you and your comments but lets drop you negative remarks. Good luck to all. wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/18/2003 1:22:52 PM   CodeRed, I also apologize for offending you and I draw here the line in this on-line feud. After my recent trips to Ukraine, I provided contact travel information that I found useful and a commentary. Some of my remarks were strong. This is how I saw things and this is what I made out of what I experienced. I voiced my experience and my beliefs. This is freedom of speech and I assume that you fought in the battlefield to protect these principles and enable others to embrace our type of democracy as well. Our democracy follows Greek and Roman patterns. Socrates introduced the dialectic method of pursuing the truth in 5th century B.C. (Socratic dialogues) and later his student Plato and others followed him. According to this method, a statement about a subject is disclosed to a number of individuals knowledgeable on the subject. It doesn't matter how strong, positive or negative the statement may be. Following discussion and testing by logical argument, the parties pursue rather than discover the truth surrounding the subject. In other words, many questions in our world have no single answer and it's the pursuit of answers that enlightens the subject. In our days, some of the top tiered business schools and monuments of capitalism of this country teach you this very same discipline. If you have a different point of view and data to support your argument, you are welcome to present them. I didn't claim culture has no role in a relationship. I simply said that it's easier for a younger Russian girl to be assimilated to a new lifestyle particularly if this person already dislikes certain aspects of her lifestyle. And I do believe people who come here to live must embrace our values and lifestyle. Our values are not based on KFC and Coca Cola. Our values are freedom, democracy and capitalism. Our lifestyle is about having options and being free to select the ones that suit each of us best. Also, you are very confident on the future of Russia and convinced of the effectiveness of the turnaround plans currently in place. My understanding is that the majority of your information sources are Russian online publications. I wish you are right. You will call me negative, but I will say it I am not optimistic on Russia. Foreign investment advisory is negative and Russia needs funding in order to exploit its natural resources. Why do you think American corporations prefer to invest in China and the rest of the Pacific Rim? Why we prefer Poland and Hungary to set up manufacturing sites instead of Ukraine? is it because there is no human capital in Russia or resources? Among Russians, you can still find some of the world's most capable engineers and scientists, and as you pointed Russia is a country with vast natural reserves. And has a huge domestic market with a population the size of the USA. Then why in general only companies with low-tech household type products and foods are moving into Russia? why is Russia only good for Tide and Coca Cola? why Russia is not good to produce and become major exporter of microchips, advanced electronics technologies and motor vehicles? Because Russia is not ready for this, the political environment is very unstable, organized crime includes the very top government officials (Ukraine's president is known as "Godfather" in that country) and the work force is not willing to work hard and doesn't believe the country can succeed. You were offended I called the educational system in Russia superficial. Isn't it true even in the best schools you can pay and sometimes you must pay to get good grades or pass exams?? Russian educational system used to be well respected until the late eighties. The educational system collapsed along with the rest of the country. This is of major concern because a country's future depends mainly on its human capital. You may say I am negative, but do you have any proof I really am?? janwas Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/23/2003 12:40:20 PM   wtrav02: I am one of those who left the forum as I got tired of getting aggressive remarks from CodeRed as soon as I had an opinion. Speaking of Russia, I can compare girls from Russia and Poland as I see them often here in Sweden. We have ferries from Poland twice a day to my city, and the girls are not very interested in meeting Swedish men as they are content with the situation in Poland nowadays. 10 years ago however, we had lots of ads about women from Poland searching for a man to marry "overseas". In Russia, the situation is not good of course, and women seek a better future for them and their children. I am 44 and I get letters from girls aged 20-25 who say they wouldn´t mind being married to me, even if I am 20 years older !!! For a man, it could probably be nice with a young woman, but when I retire she would have to work another 20 years before we could spend the days together, and I would probably be too weak to spend any holidays with her. So, what I am trying to say is that these women have a hard life in Russia and it is not only my looks that attract them... Jim Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/25/2003 3:34:31 AM   I must agree with your assessment. Certainly the lifestyle is much harsher in their native Russia. But anyone who tries to afford himself of company of a wife 20 years his junior is just looking for trouble. I tend to think that a woman in the age range of 20-25 looking for a husband 20 years older may well be simply looking for a "way out". wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/25/2003 11:36:26 AM   In fact, most if not all Russian girls looking online for foreign partner ARE LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT. There are many myths that Russian love agencies are feeding western men. My favorite one is: "there are not enough men in Russia for all those hungry-to-get-married RUWs". This is plain nonsense. There are many men who survived wars and the famine ... and many men are looking for female partner. But, most men do not qualify financially. In RUW's mind "real man" translates to "man who can provide for a woman and afford a family". RUWs need protection. They are raised to become dependent, not independent. Rich man can have many women, poor man can have no woman. American man is considered rich man. The average 40-year+ Joe with average finances, a divorce and two kids is better than average Sergey with no job, no prospects and no future. Because in Russian culture, a woman's marriagability depends to a large extent on her looks, most beautiful women do find the "real man" of their dreams in their own country and they are not on dating sites. In my opinion, about 10% of the women who are online are datable and only 2% are really beautiful. If you go to Russia or Ukraine and don't limit your experience to love socials where you are served what is in the menu that day, but venture outside your hotel you will realize that the girls on the streets and in the pubs are much prettier than the girls on the net. What is the attractiveness of online introductions? Plain practicality. My point is that your chances of getting married to a girl who comes to you because she is interested in you and not your perceived wealth do not increase by the girl's age. All RUWs on the net are looking for a way out. This is given and don't fool yourself. From all these young or less young women, if you are careful and lucky, you may end up with one who is going to stick with you because she likes you and maybe she will fall in love with you. But, don't fool yourself. Marrying an old, ugly woman who was not picked by eligible Russian men and Internet is her only chance does not guarantee you her love. I would never select a woman that I am not fully interested in on the false premise that I am increasing my chances of this woman staying with me for life. I targeted high and only high from the beginning. I know who I am and what I deserve. Was I looking for a trophy wife? You bet I did. Was I looking for a traditional type girl? You bet I did. Did I get one? I surely did. I looked for a very pretty, 18-20, well educated woman and got one. In fact, I had many opportunities and chose the one who I believe has true feelings for me. Could I be wrong? I don't think so, but you never know, time will show. At the end of the day, is there anything that is guaranteed for life? In my view there is nothing guaranteed for life and if we truly want something we have to aggressively pursue it and win it every day by day again and again. Turboz Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/9/2003 11:11:05 PM   Wow! - What a long topic! I gotta share my thoughts though! I thinkt that these eastern women are very traditional and very family orientated. You can bring over an eastern woman and marry her give her a western life etc but she's still human with human feelings. I don't think you can mould her to a western lifestyle and not expect her to think about her home and friends. Lets please remember that we men are far more militant that women. We can go for weeks, months even years without contact from those closest to us but Women are not the same. They need reassurance from their loved ones and they need to talk to them about issues that are on their mind (EG how to please her man and keep him happy!). To put it bluntly you simply cannot expect someone to forget their entire life as soon as you provide them with something better. These women know only their previous life in their home country and when they come to a new foreign country all they have to hold onto is the memory's of their own country and their family. You shouldnot doubt this. It has been known for these eastern women to return back to their poor country's just to return to their family when their marriage to a westerner goes badly wrong. These women will not hesitate in returning home to poverty if you do not treat them with the respect that you would treat any ordinary western woman. Just because they are poor does not mean you can buy their emotions. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > language barrier
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