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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > INTERCULTURAL MARRIAGE Author Post CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/16/2003 11:15:48 PM   Distance no longer defines who we meet, fall in love with, or marry. The internet and e-mail connect people around the world. With the help of dating sites and marriage agencies a man in for example America or Australia can meet and marry a woman say in Russia or the Ukraine. Reading this forum is a perfect example of this. From where ever it is you are from. You are either looking or involved with a Russian woman and starting a intercultural relationship. Immigration, overseas work and travel, and multinational business have created a global connection. But the common experiences shared across cultures and countries do not bridge the fundamental diversity in beliefs and behaviors that make each culture unique and its people distinct. Ethnocentrism, religion, and social class to male-female roles and sex (just to name a few) are embedded in each of us and cannot be ignored or removed. Intercultural couples have to make a more concerted and conscious effort to know one another by finding out the other’s culture and to know themselves by redefining what is and is not necessary for their happiness. I bring this up because there are those who visit this web site who tend to think they can disregard this and put it all on the girl to adjust and adapt. Thinking that she will not miss her homeland or her culture. They are disregarding the largest pitfall of a intercultural marriage. I am brining this up in order to try and help those who feel that its not an important issue when in fact it is the main cause for unhappiness in a intercultural relationship. She is Russian! She will always be Russian. You will not remove that nor will you change it. To ignore it will be to ignore her and she will know it and feel it. She will always love mother Russia as you love your country. You will have to learn her culture and accept it. Allow it in your home. And melt both cultures together. A very good book is The Second Edition of Intercultural Marriage Promises and Pitfalls by Dugan Romano ISBN 1-85788-293-8 You can pick it up for $16.95 US. Please I beg of all of you. If you want your intercultural marriage to work and you love her. Then you must accept this concept and not ignore it. Good Luck to all!! gryphon Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/28/2003 3:12:44 PM   HI Codered, Thanks for the book suggestion and the other ones I have picked up by following your topic strands. I heartily agree with you, and have started researching to learn more about Irina's cultural personalty, so as to avoid major problems. At the very least to know a little about what is coming up in the future tense, so I can help guide it to a happy conclusion. I for one do not want her to be an American, unless its as an Russian-American. If I had wanted a American wife, I would marry an American. If the relationship accumilates into a marriage then for her sake and mine, we would have a Russian home in America. With Russian and American values, the best of both countries! I'm currently trying to learn Russian so I can meet her half way!! In fact I plan on Russian being the language spoken at home, so to bring comfort to her and heritage to our one day family. Thanks for all your help Codered with suggestions on book, and general advice on reality in this endeavor. If you have any suggestion for me that would help me continue to learn more for her benefit. Please fill free to suggest. You obiously are well informed, do you have a Russian lady as a wife? If so, you both must be quite happy! wtrav02 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/29/2003 10:08:21 PM   you're lucky you weren't born ruski, if you weren't an american (=$$$$$), she wouldn't give a penny for you even if you spoke russian like tolstoi CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/30/2003 7:34:48 AM   Yes I have a beautiful Russian lady :-) I sounds like you have the right plan gryphon and the right frame of mind to make it work (For the both of you and not just you). I your faith it Catholic there is a form of the Catholic faith that is very much like the Russian Orthodox faith and would be very welcoming to her. Ita called "Byzantine Catholic Church" it is of Eastern Rite. To find their locations in the United States go to: http://www.byzantines.net/StNicholas-Orlando/links.htm Many Russian-American couples go to this church. Just always remember that her Culture will always be in her as yours will always be in you. You maust embrace it and accept it. You cannot mold it out of her. Yes she will become American-ized. However, Mother Russia will always be part of her. She will love you for showing her you understand this and you care about it. Good Luck to you and all who come here to find the love of thir lives. Its allot of work, but its truly worth the commitment. CodeRed Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/30/2003 10:05:10 PM   tolstoi = Tolstoy ???? Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > INTERCULTURAL MARRIAGE
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