In my quest for Mrs zeeco, I have narrowed it down to four girls whom i wish to meet, two in Moldova and two in Nikolaev, I figured if go this far, it makes sense to see two girls in case one doesn't work out, however I don't want to start the trip by lieing, and I don't want to hurt their feelings either, so does any one know the best thing to tell them, personally I just want to tell them that I have planned to see another girl, as a back up! but if a girl said this to me I be rather peeved.
My approach is "Don't ask, don't tell, don't lie". If your ladies think about it clearly, they realize that it is silly for a man to commit all that time (1-2 weeks), travel and money just to see only one single person whom he has never met. They realize that it's quite possible the couple will not be attracted to each other from the moment they meet. So, they are generally not offended too badly if it comes out that you are going to meet someone else also.
Having said that, of course they will not like it if they find out you are going to meet another girl, so don't rub it in their face. Generally, the girl won't ask, and thus you won't have to tell. But I personally don't like to lie, especially if you're trying to start a lifetime relationship. So, if pressed about it, I'll tell the girl.
Now, once you've established a relationship, I don't think they'll cut you the same slack if you return to FSU with one or two "backup" girls waitng for you.
1 thing you can be sure of, is women are not rational creatures and will not understand your need for a back up.
They are insanely jealous and want to to be the one and only that you are seeing.
If they get the slightest hint you might be seeing others, you will need 30 backups.
None will turn up for anything more than a shopping trip.
And who can blame them.
I've never traveled to FSU, but my policy is never to travel to meet only one girl, or even 2. Yes, each women should expect that you will not travel so far to meet only her, after all, if she doesn't like you, she will walk away from you and think nothing of it. I would travel only to meet as many prospects as possible. I did this one time in the Philippines - the only problem is when 2 girls show up to meet you at the airport.
On the other hand - if they see a good prospect in you, you may have a hell of a time sneaking away from one, without breaking off from her completely.
I went to Moldova specifically intending to see two girls. I was honest with one. Would have been honest with the other too but she seemed (as a poster mentions above) to be 100% against me seeing anyone else. I never actually DENIED that I intended to see another, I was just very nonspecific with her on the phone previous to my trip. Well she liked me. and I liked her. And I quickly realized that I had to choose between staying with her exclusively or losing her. There was just no reasonable way for me to gracefully sneak away. And, looking back, I really don't regret that I didn't.
I was in that situation also, earlier this year, writing to 2 ladies that I liked. I decided to see them both, and then found out that I liked the first one sufficiently that I didn't want to go see the second one - naturally she was very hurt. Ultimately things didn't work out with the other one either, so when I resumed my search I made sure to only take it one at a time.
I think it would be good if men try to see things from the woman's perspective, I think it is quite logical that the woman would not feel good if the man comes to see her, and then goes to see another woman. I would expect her to be reserved if she does not feel commitment on the part of the man.
I don't know how others approach the building of the relationship, but so far when I have gone and met with a woman things clicked and we had a good time and tried to make things work. I think it is because there is usually lots of writing involved, and phone calls as well, so by the time we actually meet it is not like meeting a stranger, but rather a friend that I haven't seen in a long time.
Hey JJ, I wouldn't do that, If I told a girl I was going to meet her, and had arranged it with her knowledge, I would feel guilty,about not bothering to meet, shoe on other foot and all that, also about the guys who say have ten back ups, maybe you were stupid enough to fly half way around the world and expect loads of girls to instantly come running to you!!
I'm hoping to get out of it, what I put into it, 6-8 months correspondance including phone calls and writing to home address, without parting of money and promosing the world.
I can assure you that I felt plenty guilty, the whole problem was that in my prior experience writing letters to women was such a hit or miss deal that it made sense to write to several at the same time, and one would emerge as the one I would go to meet. Unfortunately this time 2 emerged, and I didn't know how to pull the brake on it. As I said, I learned my lesson, took it one at a time, and it looks like it worked, I met her recently in St. Petersburg, and am going back to meet her in Yoshkar Ola in February.
That's cool JJ, I wish you good luck, I guess even if you try to cover every angle, things can still go wrong. On your experience, I think I will only tell one girl that I am going to visit, and if that doesn't work out, I'll make out it's a surprise visit for the other one :-)))