How Long on first visit

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Russian brides > Main Forum > How Long on first visit

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ernesto_usa

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	Send: 11/15/2006 8:47:45 PM

I am planning to visit Odessa soon. I am curious as to how long I should schedule to visit? I think that two to three days should do it. I am planning on meeting two girls. two to three days for each. Is this normal? Can you guys give me an idea of what you did on your first visits to women?

danny3777

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	Send: 11/16/2006 3:43:19 AM

Ernesto, I was having a very simllar discussion with Ukrainian ladies only 2 weeks ago, an American guy had called one lady at 0630 in the morning (yes 0630) to say that he had arrived in Zaporozhye and would like to meet with her that afternoon. She had her work thus said she could only meet with him in the evening, his response was that he was busy during the evening. These ladies are not stupid, they know exactly what is going on and they know that, in your scenario, an American does not travel halfway around the world to Ukraine for only 2 or 3 days and if you try to tell a lady that you are then she will know that you are lying and you will probably 'blow it'.

jjbarrier

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	Send: 11/17/2006 1:05:40 AM

I think it all depends on the circumstances, I was recently in Petersburg for 4 days to spend time with a lady, and I did come from the US. We don't have as much vacation in US as in many countries in Europe, so we have to be more careful with how we manage our time. If you meet with a lady in a town others than her hometown, and things don't work out well, more than a few days could be a very long time. If you think 3 days is ok to get a feeling for the person, then go for it.

Philly

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	Send: 11/17/2006 2:09:04 AM

ernesto, We all go back and forth on the forum re this issue. Ther is no correct answer. Of course every woman would love it if you traveled halfway round the world only for the sole reason to meet her for the very first time. How very romantic, how gallant! How very expensive and impractical for you! How selfish and narrow minded, and completely no bother for her! The bottom line is that some women will be insulted, and some will be understanding. Which kind of woman do you want to "fall in love" with? And how many of these women are meeting only with you, and turning away all other suitors who want to visit them and take them out on the town? I agree with your plan. Whether you lie about it or not, as Martin raises the issue, is up to you. I think "don't ask, don't tell" is best. But if the woman speciically asks, then lying would be transparent, asd a poor basis for any future together. In my experience, they never ask outright. Good luck to you!

olgas

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	Send: 11/17/2006 7:22:41 PM

i Ernesto, I'm not one of the guys, but I can tell what I think would be right from a RW's point of view. Martin and Philly both raise good points. Women get jealous. And RW are more prone to it than women you may be used to dealing with. It has to do with our culture. I won't go into it right now. Instead I will try to focus on your question. The first day or two of visiting a RW with whom you have been corresponding should be mainly to check for "chemistry." You are both going to look a little different to each other than you did in the photos you exchanged. And you will probably both act a little differently than you expected each other to. The first couple of days are all about reconciling the images and impressions you formed about each other through letters and photos with the real things. If, after that, you find you are both still attracted to each other, you've got "chemistry" and are ready to explore a potential marriage further - take it to the next level. The next level is getting seeing where she lives and how she lives, and meeting and getting to know her friends and family. Plan to add from one week to 10 days to your trip for this. (Total of two weeks - 3 days to confirm chemistry, 10 days to learn more about her.) If your RW is from Odessa, then this will be easy - she will simply ask you to stay in town, come over to her apartment, place of work, friends apartments, parents apartments (if she doesn't live with her parents), etc. She may even try to help you offset the cost of staying longer by inviting you to stay with her and/or her family. This is not unusual for Russians. If it is offered, I highly recommend you accept it because it will by far be the best way for you to get to know all about her. But if she's not from Odessa and has traveled there to meet you; she will want you to come back to her town or city with her to accomplish what I have described above. She won't know if she wants you to do that until SHE has confirmed chemistry and more - in other words, until she has approved of you as being worthy for presentation to her family and friends. Whether you are already in her city or not, if a RW seems to be keeping you away from her family and friends - her real life - it�s a bad sign. I traveled for six hours by hired car from Krivoy Rog, Ukraine to meet husband, Doug in Kiev for the first time. After three days together I knew Doug was THE ONE and I wanted my family and friends to meet him. I invited him to come all the way back to Krivoy Rog with me to stay with us. He came and stayed for 10 days, which was not too short and not too long. It was just right. Doug describes that experience as "going native" because very few Americans come to Krivoy Rog, hardly anybody speaks English there, and we lost our interpreter (a long story). Now that I have said all of this it brings us back to the issue of your trying to meet two women in one trip. My own advice about how to do this is to only notify one of them (the one you think you like best at this point) that you are coming. Don't dump the other one, just tell her you can't visit just yet and are still trying to work out a good time to do it. (In other words, keep her "on the line.") Plan to be in Ukraine for two weeks, but only in Odessa for 3-5 days. Leave the last part of your trip open. Meet with the one RW you think has the most potential in Odessa for a few days. If everything works out you will want to spend the rest of your trip with her, whether it means staying in Odessa or traveling to her town. Just make sure it means meeting her family and friends and "going native" (experiencing her every day life with her. Do not get tied into two weeks of formal dating (taking her to restraints, sightseeing, discos, etc.) If it doesn't work out, call the second RW, wherever she is from. (If she's not from Odessa, call her in the town where she lives.) Tell her you are "in town" and wonder if she has time to meet with you. She will be surprised. And as Martin said, she will know exactly what you have been up to. Maybe she will get jealous or offended; maybe not. Be honest with her. Tell her what happened. If she gets angry and acts irrational, well that's not the kind of RW you want to marry anyway. If she really likes you and she's smart, she will see the first RW's misfortune as her opportunity and take advantage of it. If she agrees to meet with you and you click, then repeat the part about going native, meeting family and friends, etc. But if you don't click, be prepared to call it quits and go home. Don't be so stubborn as to TRY and MAKE it work. And don't be so stubborn as to start casting around Odessa for a wife just because you are already there. That is when really bad things happen to guys. Just go home and start over. Try to apply lessons learned to the kind of RW you correspond with. Later, after we got married, Doug showed me the little piece of paper with the contact info for his "back-up" RW that he had carried with him in a hiding place on his trip to visit me. I did not get angry or jealous. I felt very lucky that he chose to visit me first. He also explained to me that he had corresponded with many RW, and had about seven of these "back-ups' on a list that he would have started working his way down if things did not click between us. And he kept them "open" through light correspondence while he processed my K-1 application just in case I changed my mind. Then, when he knew I was coming and we were pretty much a sure thing, he wrote letters to those RW explaining to them that he had decided to do a K-1 with somebody else. He thanked them, wished them luck, etc. He did not leave them hanging. I did not get angry or jealous about this either. Again, I felt lucky to have been the first choice of such a smart and determined man (determ

ernesto_usa

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	Send: 11/17/2006 9:53:46 PM

I have already made commitments to see both of the ladies. I wish I had read your comments first Olga. I am going to visit them in their own towns. One is in Odessa and the other is in Kharkov. At least I won't be embarrased by possibly seeing one when out with the other. Trust me I am not a player type of person. I just think that it would be very stupid for me to meet the first girl and find out that we have nothing in common and not have already arranged to see the second girl. I have corresponded with many women on this site and find that these two are the ones I am interested in. Others do not even come close. Some others of interest are in Russia itself but I cannot afford the leisure of flying to Ukraine then Russia. Both ladies seem very nice in their own special ways. At this time I cannot say that one is more interesting to me than the other. I feel that I should give them both a look. It would be much simpler if I clicked more with one than the other. I guess I will know more after I return. My luck I will like them both and then I will have a real problem. Thanks for your detailed answers.

Omaraph

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	Send: 11/18/2006 5:06:31 AM

Whoa, after being so long away from the boards the first thing I read is this. If the moderaters would know what is a good decent amount of information they would sticky Olgas story. I have just 1 comment on it; this information is what most of the older members had to piece together themself and could not format in this manner. Great job Olgas.

Globus

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	Send: 11/18/2006 8:20:46 AM

It was great to hear your thoughts on this subject Olgas and to hear it from the Russian woman's point of view. It gives me hope that there are actually smart, good and serious Russian women out there looking for a foreign husband. For guys like me who seem to only meet cold, uncaring women who only are interested in how many gifts they can get out of you when you go and meet them it's good to hear. :-)

GeminiDreams

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	Send: 11/18/2006 10:25:31 AM

Odessa is a fun place. If the girls dont work out, dont go back, have a holiday, its worth spending three or 4 days there. I personally would have no problem with a girl who wanted to be tied up doing restraints every day:-). (Sorry Olga my Russian is pretty poor but couldnt pass up the quip)

boredfuka

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	Send: 11/18/2006 1:11:42 PM

GeminiDreams You mentioned being "tied up". i assume you mean the women love to be tied up to the bed. is this odessa?

dragster

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	Send: 11/18/2006 4:19:54 PM

BF, you really are on the wromg site here,ever thought of trying Adult Friendfinder,a dark room,and putting your fertile imagination to good use.

danny3777

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	Send: 11/18/2006 7:01:38 PM

BF with one 'k', Best cities for being tied up are Kazan in Russia and Lugansk in Ukraine but don't tell anybody :)

olgas

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	Send: 11/18/2006 10:10:57 PM

Hi guys, Last part of my post got cut off somehow. (beleive it or not, there was more ;-) Here it is again... choice of such a smart and determined man (determined to get married and start a family). Thos RW's feelings might have been hurt just a little bit. But I guarantee you they all had lists of many potential Western husbands they were corresponding with as well. Doug may or may not have been their first choice. And that is why so many RW disappear from correspondences suddenly and mysteriously (they make their choices, but not all write "Dear John" letters). In fact, one of the RW on Doug's list (Number 3;-) dumped him to marry a different man the same week he came to visit me. Hope it helps! Olga Salem www.goeastnow.com

Philly

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	Send: 11/18/2006 10:28:46 PM

Olgas, Excellent post. Thanks for the advice. :)

Thunderdome

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	Send: 11/19/2006 4:26:29 AM

Oh BF (with one $), and Yoskhar Ola also. Due to the many women there I'd advice to take my vitamins so bring them, plenty, as well as cash & credit cards. If Martin asks I'll tell him you didn't tell me zilch, but then do keep this YO-tip between you & me also eh? Nice post Olgas, and I could not help noticing that Doug and GLTallToad have some striking similarities in their Modus Operandi. Wonder if the globetrotting frog still reads here? Doug does by your sounds of it. Talking of which, maybe you want to elaborate on, I quote: "It has to do with our culture. I won't go into it right now." Jealousy makes for an exceptionally strong drive universally, and I wonder how, even if, the Russian version will differ by culture. If you don't mind tell us more?

Russian brides > Main Forum > How Long on first visit