I have been using the site for about a week and tried to read just about everything in order to understand what happens.
Does this sound like I'm doing the right thing? I usually only communicate with women when under the influence of alcohol!
I have sent 15 to 20 letter templates, had three different girls reply and one letter from someone at random. I have wrote each of the ones I wrote to a nice letter saying I am interested in meeting someone for a relationship etc and not looking to mess about. Shoulld I write to more people or break off with all but one rightaway? Also two are from the same area so will that mean that the same agency are telling them I'm after two (and therefore neither).
What I am not sure about is that they all seem to be writing really nice letters in English. Now their official English ratings aren't far from zero. Am I getting translated letters and if so will I have to pay more dosh? I have joined the VIP service.
Now I haven't been asked for any cash though don't mind paying their internet cafe charges but am I suddenly going to get a demand for tens of US dollars per e-mail from an agency? Or is everything free from now on unless I help out?
Also with the e-mails I have received they are really strong on marriage, perfect partner and am I "X, Y and Z". I don't really think I am anyones idea of Mr Perfect and I'm nervous about letting them think I am some kind of dream prince. Should I point out that I am an ordinary bloke from Manchester albeit with a good job and good qualifications or tell them I match their specification?
I really want to do the right thing but I am only 27 and have never been married and to be honest have only really pulled in pubs and clubs and seen the woman again afterwards. Never really been into hearts and flowers unless I am already in there. Any advice would be much appreciated as I need to find someone decent rather than indecent.
Hi Mark, new myself, but I understood that you don't get further charges unless you wish to help out a girl individually. Have I understood you correctly that you have lived with a girlfriend before, just not done the wooing bit? Well that's no big deal, hearts and flowers much like in the movies. Be genuine is my advice. If it strikes you as important that a girl gets a smile from flowers from you, then there's your answer. If it's something you just feel like you're supposed to do, then don't,...
Nobody like's gifts without feeling it was a genuine thought. Can't imagine russian girls are so different here.
I think evreyone accepts that especially in the beginning there will be many potential girls you're interested in. As long as you're not sending impersonal chain replies can't imagine you have anything to worry about. Can't imagine the agency has any interest in exposing you even if you where sending impersonal replies.From what i gather it takes months anyway before you will have someone ready to commit to you. Patience is what just about everyone is saying.
Hello Norway, just to make things clear, I have successfully done the "wooing" but only after I have been certain that the girl is definitely interested. This is usually because for want of a better description I have already "tested the waters". Of course women have later changed their mind later (!) but I have felt confident and therefore it has been relatively easy.
When I have tried for someone who I haven't been sure of their definite interest including work colleagues, girls I went to University with, even girls who wrote to me on sites like dating direct it has ultimately led to failure. Failure, failure, failure - failure behind me but hopefully not in front of me. You have to take personal responsibility for things you do, I think there are gaps in my thinking.
I had one girlfriend that lasted six months the rest have been bits and pieces relationships really.
Web sites at home are weighted 5 men to one woman. if you don't have the gift of the gab it's a lost cause, because the woman get cocky and don't give you the time to show who you really are. Wooing isn't important in the long run and besides it worked with the ones that were interested. It's probably not right to call it failure. Try mismatch.
This is the way I did it, but it takes patience, and can be expensive, and there is more a chance for failure…
I emailed a few girls quite impulsively the first day I discovered this site…and actually the very first girl was the one I connected with…when I realized she was the one I liked most…I corresponded with her exclusively then met her in Europe…when that didn’t work out I emailed a few others found one, then wrote to her exclusively and met her in Russia.
For me I could never correspond seriously with more than one person. I sort of put all my eggs in one basket with my approach.
I do not believe there is one person made for us, or a specific soul mate. I basically am in my mid-thirties have grown as far as I can on my own and now am ready to spend the rest of my life with a woman and have a couple of kids. I do not one to sound like a complete sexist male asshole, but what was initially appealing to me about the Russian thing is being married to an extremely attractive woman 10 yrs younger than me. I live in a big college town in US…and if you’re just a little bit creative you can date younger women easily no matter how old you, and I spend a lot of time in Latin America and most of the women I see are a lot younger, but for me serious relationships are not very realistic. The younger Russian women I have dealt with seem more serious. Anyway you're ten years younger than me so this may not be applicable to you. However, I have now learned that these Russian women have so much more to offer than physical beauty…youth!
If you are genuine, heartfelt, communicate from soul, etc. etc…and the girls I communicated were all that from beginning, then you can develop strong feelings, and reach certain conclusions just from writing…
But nothing is confirmed till you meet. For me my approach was risky. I live overseas so each of my trips ran about 4g USD each. These were two of the most expensive first dates I have ever been on…but more exciting than climbing active Mexican volcanoes, or surfing the Hawaiian Pipeline!
You’re lucky in that dating-ru now fiancé just totally reorganized their services. As far as I understand you now pay a monthly fee for VIP membership, and you get unlimited writing, and translations. They always offered great service, but it used to be quite expensive…In the beginning I spent about 400 USD a month on letters, and translations…In the past I would ask the girls I was serious about what local agency they were with and corresponded with them via their local agency and saved tons of money (Currently I pay 30 USD a month to correspond unlimitedly with my fiancé via email)…but now you do not need to do that… fiancé.com now has great service with a good price…and the biggest database of women.
The girls assume you’re a writing to a few…they are corresponding with a few too…basically because until you meet in person it is all very much a dream to them… many men correspond, few make the trip. As soon as you are serious Go See Her!
When you visit… from my little exp. especially if she is from smaller town she will most likely want to meet in Kiev, or Moscow basically because she thinks you will be bored in her town, and she wants your time together to be as special as possible…then if you hit it off you can go visit her family together. In your corresponding you really do not need to send money…but you can ask if she has any expenses from your correspondence usually she does not. When you visit of course offer to pay all her expenses. Even nice to pay for the time she has to miss work…if it is time without pay…it won’t be much. The Russian women I dealt with are embarrassed to ask for money. I once sent some clothes to my girl, and they held it up at the post office for a month because of customs fee. They were about to send it back when she finally asked if I could send her some money to retrieve it. She was very embarrassed, but didn’t make enough to get package, but really wanted to receive gift. There was an extremely attractive 21 yr. old girl I was corresponded with, she actually was a model…and I offered to send some money for plane ticket so we could meet, and she said she didn’t want the exchange of money to come between us because it changes everything in friendship, and that she could afford travel expense. When I was in Moscow with my fiancé I saw I beautiful dress I wanted to buy her she wouldn’t let me because it was to expensive, and she could buy the material, and make the same thing for a lot less. Anyway these are a few examples of my experiences with Russian women, and money.
I always stressed to the girls that I am just an average guy in America. I didn’t want them to have any misconceptions about me, or Americans.
I think you will have better luck here than say national dating agencies on internet.
“…thanks Manchester for all great music you gave the world in 80’s”
Jerome,
Thank you for the insightful account of your experience. I'm hoping to write a few and narrow down my choice to just one or two. I'm planning on whomever I choose to come to the United States for a visit. Is it easier to go to Russia or have one come to visit?
Thank you Frank…As codered said if you live in US you pretty much got to go to Russia…I did meet one in Europe, and if I had to do it again I wouldn’t have. I had all these preconceived ideas of traveling in Russia. I have traveled a lot in Latin America…my trip to Russia was one of the easiest trips I have ever made! I may have just been lucky, but everything from plane ride, customs, hotel, people I met where wonderful. I was there during US/Iraq war. Anyone going to Moscow? I have lots of recommendations.