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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum >  Lady from Lugansk suggest meeting me in KIEV Author Post ArnHuus Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/26/2007 11:18:15 AM   I have been writing to a lady for a while and i suggested coming to meet her in her own city of Lugansk. She replied that she would like to meet me in Kiev.I guess there could be a genuine reason for this. But to me This seems unusual even suspicious request. What does anyone here think of her reasons for wanting to meet in another city? I am aware of reputation that Lugansk has for dishonest women there.But i did contact the lady through the reputable E.M agency. I am new to this forum so if this similar question has been asked before i apologise. VNVnation Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/26/2007 2:18:39 PM   In my experience, I would view with suspicion any request to meet outside of the lady's home city. If you are serious about each other, she should want you to see her home, see how she lives, possibly meet her friends or family, etc... Oftentimes, the suggestion to meet in another city is followed by a request for money so she can get to the other city, so just be careful if that comes up. And, just because she's on EM doesn't mean she's not a scammer. They do make an effort to remove scammers if they get complaints, but I've definitely corresponded with some scammers from that agency. olgas Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/26/2007 9:21:18 PM   ArnHuss, Your lady's request is perfectly normal. Hopefully she is not the only RW you have been corresponding with, and hopefully you arrived at your discussion of visiting her after eliminating several others. My advice about RW is to "play the field," at first; then gradually narrow down your prospects. The process of vetting and elimination will force you into making a better final choice.) Assuming you have done what I just described, tell your short-listed lady that you will be happy to meet her in Kiev. Tell her how much time you have set aside for your visit with her, but say that you are only making accomodations in Kiev for approximately half that time. For example, if you can spend 10 days total, tell her you plan to rent an apartment in Kiev for five days, and are gpoing to leave the last five days "open" in the event she really likes you and wants to bring you back to LUgansk to meet her family and friends. I am telling you all of this based on experience. I am a Russian woman originally from Krivoy Rog, Ukraine; now happily married to an American man and living in the U.S. for more than seven years. My home town of Krivoy Rog is bigger and nicer than Lugansk, but it is just as remote and far away from Kiev (six hours by car). One of the reasons Lugansk has earned its reputation for scammers is because it's economy is particularly bad and so therefore are the living conditions. All of Ukraine's economy is bad of course, but the poverty levels differ from town to town. Life is particularly hard in Lugansk. And the city is particularly run down (even moreso than other cities in Ukraine). And this is most likely why the lady wants to meet you in Kiev. If you haven't learned it yet (because of limited contact with and exposure to Russians), Russians are extremely proud and competitive even though they no longer have anything to be proud about or any basis to compete. The first thing they ask every Westerner who comes to visit is "what do you think of our city?" What do you think of our this, our that?" And they ask these questions defensively because they already know what the answer is. Lucky for us. most Americans are very sensitive and polite about rubbing their prosperity and higher standard of living in our faces ;-) They almost always say "It's great! Really beautiful! Charming!" (Or something like that.) When my now-husband, Doug came to Ukarine to visit me for the first time, I was petrified that he would turn around and run away when he saw where and how my family and I lived. I was embarassed but you would never get me to admit it. He offered to come all the way to Krivoy Rog, but I asked him to meet me in Kiev instead. Kiev is a beatiful city - one of the most beautiful in all Eastern Europe. And there are a lot of things to do and see there. Also, in Kiev, you can both be anonymous. It is a big city full of tourists from all over the world. Besides being afraid that you will be appalled by their cities, another thing Russian women fear a lot is that they (and their family and friends) will be appalled by you. It can be very embarassing. If only you could see some of the men who come to visit the women. Well, let's just say they do not turn out being what they sold themselves as in their letters. It happened to me twice. One guy hired a driver and came all the way from Dnipropetrovsk where he was visiting another girl, to my family's apartment in Krivoy Rog for a "surprise" visit. I was given only a few hours notice. When he arrived I was ashamed in front of my parents, neighbors, friends. It was terrible. But in Kiev, nobody would look twice at something like this. (Sad, but true.) Meeting you in Keiv gives her the opportunity to check you out before taking things to the next level - to "meet the parents" If she really likes you, she will invite you to Lugansk. She will still worry that you will be apalled by what you see and experience there, but she will invite you. Spending time together in Kiev will also give her the opprtunity to try and prepare you for Lugansk. I knew I was going to bring Doug to Krivoy Rog to meet my family and friends after only our second day together in Keiv. He was everything he said he was and more. In fact, I could not wait for them to see him. But I really appreciated the fact that he gave me that extra space and the option to make that decision. AS it was, tall of the neighbors talked about him for weeks and weeks anyway, but this time it was good talk. (They probably still talk about us every time they see my mother or father get in or out of the lift even after we have been married for seven years and have a child.) There is a long story about why your lady's request is perfectly normal. HI everbody else. I have not participated since before Christmas. I became very busy with orders and 3-way phone calls over the holidays and is did not stop until the middle of January. Plus all of my own holiday family and social activities. Then I rested for two weeks. I will try to contribute more. Hope it helps, Olga beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 12:17:08 AM   Olga, I believe you are sincere about your story thou I do not know if it is the exception or the rule. I met on girl in Kiev, she was from Melitopol, she got a taxi from Melitopol then flew from Zaporozhye to Kiev. Since she did not know English very well, she had an interpreter come with her($$$$). When in Kiev she wanted a private taxi driver to take us everywhere. She picked an apartment that wanted double what it was worth. She took me bowling at an entertainment center, of course, there are PLENTY of shops there...electronics, clothing, make-up, you get that story, in the meantime, her interpreter wanted $100 a day, all so that I can have home cooked meals. Since I am a gentleman and have a conscience, I couldn't just leave them them there and get my own place, I made the best of the situation. To do this over again...I should have went to Melitopol. This just shows there is a situation completely different than yours, Olga danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 1:34:23 AM   And it should not be forgotten that she might otherwise not have the opportunity to travel to and stay in Kiev thus whilst such a trip may be of excitement value to her she could just be using Arni for a free holiday and it should not be fogotten that Kiev is where all those expensive clothes shops are. I politely disagree with olgas in one respect, if a guy offers to visit a lady in her own city she should welcome such an idea whilst perhaps dropping hints of the conditions of that city and not respond with an alternative that he didn't suggest in the first instance. I would suggest to Arni that he repaeat to her his suggestion that they meet in Lugansk, telling her that he has been reading about Lugansk etc, if only to gauge what her reaction may be. Deano Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 4:10:54 AM   Olga is right on. Martin brings up valid points to keep in mind but I think the first meeting in Kiev is a great option for both of you. It will be much easier for you Arn to travel to Kiev. I would accept her offer and see where it leads. If she is a scammer then she will reveal herself when she request travel money of something like 100 to 200 USD and it only cost her 10 by train or bus. There is a lot to do in Kiev as well as major credit cards are accepted in many places. You wont find this in Lugansk. And if things go bad I would rather be trapped in Kiev than Lugansk any day. I have had four girls meet me in Kiev. All by my request and have enjoyed everyone one of the meetings there. Good luck! nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 9:21:06 AM   Olga if most women posted information like this in the forum a lot less guys would get bad information from some of the google pilots here. We had a similar situation happen a few of months ago when some bad advice was dealt to a forum memember. Your description is exactly how my wife and I met and continued on. Kiev is not the only place in Ukraine to have expensive shops, some just haven't been around Ukraine enough. I remember one day sitting in a restaurant in Mariupol, My wife wanted me to meet the lady who had done all the translations for us for the first 6 months of our correspondence. First thing Lyudmila asked me is if I was shocked by how my wife lived. I told her not really I had seen a lot worse in my life, and honestly I didn't care how my wife was living, that was not the standards by which I judged her as a person. Kiev is an excellent place to me, there is a lot of cultural things to do, along with entertainment. I took my wife to see Patricia Kaas in Kiev, went to see plays and other things. In Mariupol, it is very limited, along with most other Ukrainian cities. You can find other things to do in Mariupol, but it's not even comparable to Kiev. Plus the ladies are proud of their capital city and they want you to enjoy Kiev, because they don't get there much either. If you find the right lady, she isn't going to take you on shopping trips. As Deano points out you can tell that before you even get to Kiev. Plus you have control of your own money. We barely did any shopping in Kiev except the last day and it was limited. We were too busy seeing the sites and history of Kiev. No matter how Ukrainians live, they are very proud. The girls want to meet first to make sure they won't bring some loser home to meet the family and friends. Meeting in Kiev to start is excellent for both. It gives her room to breath and see you without the pressure of having you in her hometown. If she doesn't invite you to her home, you pretty much know where you stand. After a week in Kiev we traveled to Mariupol to meet family and friends. ArnHuus Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 10:01:21 AM   Excellent constructive advice from all the posters here thank you. Deano Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 4:25:24 PM   Arn I was just reading Beemers post and I'm glad he posted it. This is a good example of a scammer revealing themself. Unfortunately Beem didn't catch it or ignored it. First sign is his lady (I assume her idea) requested to fly to Kiev. Doesn't mean she is a scammer outright but indicates she is going to be an expensive girl. No simple bus or train for her! Then she wants and does bring her own interpreter for $100 a day. Vintage scam here! Never agree to this deal! If you girl offers this idea then raise the red flag. Tell her you will hire you own private interpreter in Kiev. If she insist on bringing her Interpreter then bail out as quickly as you can. The apartment should be reserved by you. Pleanty of Kiev apartments available on the Internet. You do not need help from your girl on that. Again agree to meet in Kiev but just wait and see what happens before commiting too much money. Good luck. Keep us posted! DJK Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 8:03:40 PM   Olga: THANKS!!! Your information is so helpful. I am planning my first trip tp the Ukraine and found your comments a great help in answering some of the concerns I had in the back of my mind. David beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 8:24:00 PM   Deano, The scam revealed itself in Kiev, day after we met there. I did suggest to fly her in since she wopuld be at airport for us to meet. So at what point do I bail, every day came up with its new twist. It was just a learning experience. After 5 months of letters, nothing really fortold what would happen. If we had met in Melitopol, I would be able to leave next day if I wanted to and not feel guilty. It makes me wonder how her attitude might have been in her home city, with not a lot to do. Maybe get to know each other ????? I think you take a small town girl with lots of dreams and take her to the big city and look out. By the way Deano, interpreter was a surprise and apt price was different than told. Yes I should have booked my own apt and stayed there. tboy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 8:28:56 PM   Hi... ArnHuus, I agree with Olga's answer but regarding Lugansk and the scams... this my suggestion: Kyiv is an excellent place to visit and meet a girl first time, but really try to go to Lugansk... this what I did when I met my girl first time. I would regret if I didn't had the opportunity to see my girl's hometown, family and friends. Also major questions become answered with minor misunderstanding... My girl never asked me to meet in Kyiv and I would insist on meet in Lugansk anyway, because of all scam agencies etc. It's unfortantly common with dating scams in Lugansk and it's almost impossible not to be scammed. Wish you the best luck and remember... most girls from Lugansk are great, kind and honest and of course very pretty:) //tboy (writing from SAS Radisson Kyiv UA) Adman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/27/2007 11:46:54 PM   I just dont know where these women get off, asking guys to pay for stuff before you have even met. It seems it is not enough to travel to the other side of the world to see them, they still want more. I was dealling with the same thing last week and when I told her I was disappointed she didnt want to show me her city, she suggested she visit me in NZ. This was good because I then discribed how well I was going to look after her when she got here: though never offering to buy the tickets. Thats fare:)) I do wonder if these Russian women are a good bet. I am out with a russian women last night, she has been in the country 7yrs, her girlfriend was with us, same age 32 and been in the country 5 weeks. A russian guy was also with us. The russian guy was giving her girlfriend a lot of attention. Whats wrong with this picture? Both women are married with NZ husbands at home..)) Deano Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/28/2007 1:23:31 AM   Beem it sounds like you are a nicer guy than I am. The Interpreter surprise would have shocked me as well as it did you. But no way in hell would I have paid her a dime. I would have fed them both and gave them a place to sleep. If the Terp doesn't agree then off to the bus station she goes. I had one girl meet me in Odessa from a small town. Sweet in the letters and all that. The morning she arrives the first thing she wants to do is go shopping. I agree but only let her get into me for $50. That night she is kind of rude to me. Not much attention. Acting disinterested. Next morning after she slept on the sofa she is ready to go shopping again. I give her 100 Grivna and tell her to get out. She was shocked and furious that I was kicking her out. I stood my ground. She left calling me every name in the book. :) Bottom line is I realized I made a mistake and cut my losses. beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/28/2007 2:13:16 AM   Deano, Good story!! Wish I could be like you! I figure if it happens the first time shame on you, if it happens again shame on me. I am a great learner, bad things happen to me ONCE, never again. I try not to put myself in the situation of being cruel, darn that I'm a compassionate guy. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/31/2007 6:50:33 AM   Deanos and beemers discussion is similar to my experience. I thank the insight of a former member here that helped me out. When my wife and I were planning to meet it was in Kiev. Of course the agency has control of the letter writing agenda and not the telephones. That's one reason why if you are serious to meet it's imperative to get a home address and telephone number. When I was quoted the price to have an interpreter for the time in Kiev and paying for her food and lodging, I started to laugh. We were staying at the Sherbourne apartments in Kiev and they have translators on staff and I think it was about 10 or 12 bucks and hour. You can find students in kiev willing to translate for 5 dollars an hour, maybe a little more now. My wife and I had discussions about cutting out the agency due to the idiotic prices they had quoted. That's the key thing get rid of the agency influence. Plus we didn't need a third wheel. The only drawback to that is when the agency finds out that this went down, they absolutely have no use for the lady anymore. Though this happened during her visa process when she asked the agency help for some required documents, they totally ignored her and pitched her to the side, she wasn't capital for them anymore. I don't think it has anything to do with compassion or not, but I would have packed the translator on the next train to where ever. It was rather rude on her part to have the interpreter show up unannounced. Especially when there are many people in Kiev willing to do the job for a lot less money. We had a lady take us around Kiev all day and show us the sights on interest, in her car, did translations for us when I spoke to quickly, She spent 8 hours with us, her gas, I bought her lunch, she took us to this reasonbly priced cafe. She took us back to the apartment, when I went to give her 100 bucks for the day, she said it was too much and said 50 was fine. I will recommend this lady to anyone, I have her cell and email address if anyone would be interested who is meeting their lady in Kiev. She does a great job giving you the tour of both sides on Kiev. Compassion is fine, nothing wrong with it. Remember though your dealing with a totally different mindset regarding compassion in Ukraine. The morale and beemer18 has said it, you learn by your mistakes or you find the information in places like this. I'm a firm believer that you need to control your destiny and not leave it up to an agency to decide what's best for you. It's your money, your time and your life and if the girl doesn't want to be flexible on that, well I don't feel she's too interested. The agencys try to create a dependence with these girls, you can't do this without us, you can't to that without us. Most of the serious girls, when you rationally lay it out they are intelligent enough to see that you're not being cheap, but being wise with your money. If you find the right one and a good one they will follow your lead. But be wise when you are there and follow their advice when it comes to social skills and dealing with the police. It's their home. ArnHuus Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/1/2007 7:45:17 AM   Ok i can update any one that is interested here. The lady i have been in communication with has asked for money to pay for her train tickets or plane tickets to Kiev from Lugansk. SO this is definitely NOT on. Dissapointed Yes very. Seems what they say about ladies from Lugansk is true gregx Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/1/2007 11:36:43 AM   Arn i think generally very many of the ladies from Ukraine have this money grabbing mentality.it seems to be a way of life for them especially towards foreign men.IF she was sincere about forming a relationship she would have paid for travel expences her self.It was a good job for you she revealed her true character before you got in too deep with her. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/1/2007 11:59:49 AM   Arni, Explain to her that you can book and pay for her air tickets via www.ukrainefare.com then you should be able to establish if she wants the tickets or only the money. kingarthur Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/1/2007 4:21:38 PM   gregx, I think this money grabbing mentality began when foreign men started travelling to eastern Europe (why only Ukraine?) with the idea of "buying" a wife, or a relationship, or just a lay. Smart eastern women quickly learnt that they could grab some money or go shopping for expensive clothes or something, suggesting some possible reward to the not-so-smart western men. Clear-cut examples of this attitude from some western men towards eastern European women can be found in recent posts in this forum. Who is to be blamed most? Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum >  Lady from Lugansk suggest meeting me in KIEV
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