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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Greetings from AZ Author Post johnwill Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2007 12:21:27 AM   New here and to the pursuit of a Russian wife. I am recently divorced and tired of the same old same old with Amerian women. So, perhaps it was a sign from higher above because within two days I had a 2 "Russian Encounters". First, I met a neighbor that is from Russia and met her husband via an agency over 5 years ago. Still happily married. Second, I'm at the gym and start talking with a guy there and one thing leads to another and he tells me about a website he has been to meet Russian women. Something about meeting ladies here in San Diego or somewhere(I forgot where exactly). He gave me the name of the site and I forgot it but searched and found this place. I'll talk to the guy this week and write it down this time :) Anyway, I am excited to learn more here and meeting you all. From what posts I have read so far it seems I have a long way to go in my quest. DOSVEDONYA! nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2007 7:07:41 AM   John How long since your divorce? I don't know about most people but I had to take a year off from women period. Learn to live alone and do guy things again. It drove my married friends wives crazy. Even after I broke up with a girlfriend, I took significant time off from dating etc. before I came to this search. If you have a clear head and think with the one on top of your shoulders this can be the most incredible journey you will ever go on. Let common sense prevail, listen to the guys, all of them, at least the ones that have travelled in the FSU, and then decipher what is going to work for you personally. There is only one hard and fast rule, don't send money to someone you haven't met and you won't get scammed. Even when you meet them, caution should previal. There is no secret way to do this, no exact plan to follow. No one great expert here, no one great expert plan. With your eyes wide open and your head screwed on correctly you can find the most incredible woman in the world! johnwill Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2007 8:30:14 AM   I have been divorced a little over a year so feel I am ready. I hate being part of the "divorce culture" but all I can say is I tried. Anyway, I have visited some other sites and started some correspondence with a couple ladies. You're right. You never know if Tatayana is really Vladimir waiting at a Western Union for you to send her dough. I do have a couple of questions. I think that an easy way to up front eliminate scammers is to as for her phone number and call her. The coupld of gils I have asked say they don't have a phone because it's too expensive. Is that common as I thought that they should all have phones. ???? I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2007 11:24:36 AM   Johnwill: It is extremely rare to find someone in the FSU who has themselves listed on the internet who does not have a phone, either landline or cell and usually both. I've heard all this a hundred times, but honestly, I've been all over the FSU like a cheap suit and I have never met one person yet who doesn't have a phone. The next point I would make to you is that the phone is not the sure fire check that many will lead you to believe. It is one check. Extended and regular phone calls will help to sort it out. The basic thing to do (This is not the only way, but it is a safe way) try to hook up with one lady whom you think is genuine, don't lag on for months, but also get hooked up with a nearby agent and go visit. By approaching it this way, if you strike gold first up, them wooooopeeeee you can forget the rest and you havn't hurt or missled anyone. If the first one goes south, then go down the agent road and you can meet quite a few nice women. Bare in mind, the girls listed with agents are probably more confident and know the drill so if you are a bit of a shy type, you might get toasted. :-) I strongly urge any freshman NOT to place too much importance on the first trip. If you strike gold, than it is a rare luxury. Don't expect it. After a first trip, you will have a much clearer picture of who is who in the zoo and how it all works. If economics and severe time constraints are forming a major part of your plan, I have very simply advice. DON'T START. I have seen too many train wrecks as a result of people trying to do this the most time and money economic way possible. It AIN'T a cheap exercise. Romancing a quality woman at home costs time and money. Multiply that many times for an international relationship. I have seen many come to these boards and ask questions like, what would be a reasonable thing to budget for this exercise, my advice to them would and has been, if you need to ask, you can't afford it. This may sound like tough advice, but belive me, this is a tough game and it ain't for the faint of heart. The other thing you need to understand and this is a clue as to how to avoid scammers also, the Russian / FSU women that you really want are not "Pushovers" and you will be expected to do as any decent man would be expected to do under ALL circumstances. Thus if you start to see the L word and things of that nature early, take steps, BIG LONG STEPS. Here is trap number one and others will tell you about different things to avoid, I'll almost bet you have done this already, because 95% of us did when we started, look up some internet site and get a rough gauge of airfare prices to and from Moscow or some major city. Guess what? Forget that, because that is the cheapest part of the deal. The sum of other things throughout will cost you far more than airfares. There is a million things to watch for and I hope I've given you food for thought. On an encouraging note, you are way in front of many, because you have come to a forum seeking information. The majority don't bother. Poor bastages can't help their own stupidity. If you proceed and succeed, you will find it to be the best thing you ever did. IMHO the eastern women are IT...!!:-) FWIW I/O johnwill Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2007 11:35:51 PM   Thanks Bro! I appreciate the feedback. I will keep on researching. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2007 7:53:00 AM   I/0: That was a well written post. Annika77 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2007 8:09:30 AM   A little language lesson : "I havent mobile phone" means-You can send me some money and you can buy me one:) I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2007 10:05:30 AM   jetmba: I have something of a passion for getting the cold facts across to freshmen. Unfortunately, my writing skills are not as I'd like, but there it is. I've seen so many come to these boards crying after the event, therefore I admire those who have the courage and good sense to speak up and say they don't know and ask for help. There is just a few right ways to do this and there is a million wrong ways. I get totally pissed off with people who come up with the "Oh but there is exceptions because I did it this way". Of course there is but that is bad advice for the freshman. Just put me down as a contankerous bastage who happens to care about a few of the freshmen enough to tell it to them the way it is. If anyone wants nice warm air blown up their bum, don't read my posts. I/O nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2007 4:18:42 PM   Unfortunately there is too much hot air blown about finding a woman in Ukraine etc. Enough to fill a fleet of hot air balloons I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/7/2007 12:48:25 AM   This is not the only place a lot of hot air is blown on these subjects. I admit freely that Ukraine would be at the lower end of my knowledge base, although I have been there a few times. The idiots around these boards who want to expound their bad advice and usually know nothing are the ones who are the biggest danger to the freshmen. There seems to be an ever increasing number of "One Trip or None Trip Wonders". But there it is....... I/O nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/7/2007 6:32:43 AM   I/O I have made the comment in the past, some of the biggest scams perpetrated are in these forums with horrible advice, and opinions on things and places they know little about. I can't comment on Russia, nor would I since my experience isn't there. I've watched these new guys take this advice as gospel only to blow it with a woman or get burned by the woman. It's sad but true. Anymore you have to dig through the bullshit on these boards as bad as dealing with scammers. I love the great scammer hunters here. This one's a scammer and that one's a scammer, when they don't know and then have the audacity to place the womens profile on these forums. When they perpetrated the scam themselves by being a total asswipe. I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/7/2007 7:39:20 AM   Nasfan6: I dunno your history and you dunno mine and that is probably a benifit to us both. My advice to any freshman is based on experience and observation, when I offer opinion I state it as just that. I would never under any circumstances advise anyone to follow the route I have. It was high risk and fraught with hazzards. In fact it was probably just plain stupid with the benifit of 20/20, but as they say, ignorance is bliss. God knows, mine and I were blissfully ignorant. Any freshman reading this, I would say simply, screen out the most low risk method which you can apply to yourself. Don't get excited about the exceptions, because they are just that, exceptions. You will see all the dreamers and wish seekers blowing hot air up each others bums and saying, "Oh it is so wonderful you have met your love". Check back in in 5 years and see how they are doing. This pursuit of an international relationship is no "Turkey Shoot" although a lot of Turkeys are involved. This will be the toughest thing you have ever done by a vast distance. Remove as many risks as possible in the first instance. Listen to the people who are married across borders or across oceans. The others are still trying to do it, so their opinion remains just that opinion when they advise anyone beyond their own current status. I also say to the freshman, if you have what it takes to make it, this will be the most rewarding thing you have ever done. I say to the western men, that some of the eastern girls are so far beyond anything you have at home that you cant believe, but if you want the perfect wife, she won't be it, she is a woman first and foremost. To the eastern girls, I would say similarly, some of the western men are so far in front of what you have to choose from at home that you won't believe either, but if you want a perfect husband, forget it because men are men before they are husbands and we all have our faults. Keep a sober mind and focussed on what you want and more importantly what you have and are prepared to offer. Forget material matters because they come and go. FWIW I/O johnwill Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/7/2007 10:27:20 PM   Nothing is worse than getting worked up over a lady and looking forward to correspondence only to find out she is someone else. Made me feel like a real loser. Anyway, I am exploring a few different routes as I mentioned on another thread. I am also going to join fiance.com as it seems to have the best rep of those I have researched. At least it has the least bad rep. One way or another I will at least make a go at it. I am tired of my experience with American broads (I use that term loosely). Of course I speak in general terms but most are career oriented, materialistic, and self serving. Yes, still a bit bitter but that's been my experience. That's after 37 uears and 2 kids later... caviar Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/7/2007 11:58:14 PM   Hey johnwill..Don't take it too bad. It'd be close to a miracle if you didn't hit any of those scammer potholes along the road to RW happiness. I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/8/2007 12:43:01 AM   Johnwill: "Getting Worked Up" This is exactly why I always suggest make a plan that is risk free and get on a plane. I did a dozen different things in the first instance and it was never really focused on finding a partner as such, so I sort of went in sideways as it were. I have seen the arguements break out time and again as to how it should be done. Many people get all romantic about it and lose their head the moment they get some attention from an attractive lady. For those who havn't been to the FSU, do it early. An early 1800's Russian philosopher got it pretty right when he said "Thoughts without actions are simply dreams". Too many people build up some illusion in there minds that the Russian women are Goddesses and will be lined up waiting for the western man to arrive. Then they are shocked by the totally "Underwhelming" reception upon their arrival. There is too many bad ways to do this to be discussed and several good ways, but one of the worst ways is falling in love with an image and finding another person when you meet. Time is the biggest enemy in this area. People wait too long. I don't say you should rush, but a few letters and a few phone calls is enough. Once you establish the lady is genuine, then get hooked up with a nearby agent and go visit. Make your first trip a vacation. Devote the early part of your trip to meeting your lady/s and leave the back end open for touristy type things. Nothing to lose and no downside. If you happen to click with your lady of interest then you still do the touristy things without being hyperfocused on each other. It makes for a more natural development of a relationship and the two of you can have a lot of fun together. If you don't click with the lady and you are open with her, you still have a friend and often times you end up group socialising anyway. Who knows who you'll meet. Then if you choose, you can go down the agency road. There is no pressure and if you meet a lady through an agent, you can still go on with siteseeing and you already have a plan so you are not left asking her..."where shall we go?" In my experience, women don't enjoy having to make the decisions in this way. Once you get to know her a little, she will be more than happy to give you the "History Tour" of her city. Russians are very proud of their history and culture and usually very knowledgable. I makes for a relaxed fun time. Above I have outlined a simple idea which I have seen work very well for others. It is not the only way, but it is risk and pressure free. The key is to NOT put yourself under any pressure. You will have enough of that just dealing with strange language and organising yourself. Crazy romantic build ups to a first trip most often end up with one or the other or both getting hurt or disappointed. Keep it relaxed and let it develop in that way after you have met. Nothing wrong with a bit of light flirting by email or phone, but keep it light, don't get in over your head. Once you have a trip under your belt, you then have your own knowledge base to work with. That's the time to make your own specific plan. You know how it works and you will have much more confidence. You will, if you still need to, be able to recognise much more from the introduction websites. The first trip is always a "Watershed" for your thinking. The picture becomes so much clearer. Don't be too proud and try to do everything alone. There is lots of advice around these boards that can save you time, money and emotions. Don't underestimate the potential cost of any of those. FWIW I/O Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Greetings from AZ
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