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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Meeting a number of women on one trip Author Post zeeco Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 2:31:45 PM   Earlier on in the year I went to Moldova to meet a lovely woman, unfortunatly she did not feel the same, never mind we are still friends, but i plan to head back to meet three different girls (better chance with more girls) there is no way i'm going to tell any of them that I am meeting other girls whilst out there, so what is the best thing to say? I plan to spend 2 days with each, but no girl will believe i'm going out there for just 2 days???? nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 4:43:59 PM   Tell them the truth, sometimes a little competition doesn't hurt. Or if the first one is the one that really interests you, if all goes well, cancel the rest. This is the slippery slope of meeting multiple ladies on a scheduled trip. There is really no good way, but I will side on the side of honesty. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 4:46:58 PM   Good luck zeeco. They tend to be highly suspicious and I can't think of a good excuse to use to explain that you have visited the country just to spend two days with a single girl. I am quite aware that time constraints exist. I have faced them myself. But this one is going to be tricky. jonny1973 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 4:56:45 PM   Such the ninja thing. Wanting to see the girl, and have her know that you think she could be special-- but if she thinks you are shopping, it is doomed to start with. But, it is very difficult to have both ways. You can't have them thinking "I'm traveling all the way just to see you" but then do things that clearly show you aren't there to see only them. What about this: "I will be in Moldova on xxx, and I would be very interested in seeing you. I would love to meet for coffee, and see if we both feel that spark in person that can lead to something wonderful for you and I both." You could say that to all three. It is honest. You are only proposing coffee, to begin a conversation, and see if there is that spark in person~~ Much better than starting with some tricky communication, where one tries to say that you are only coming to see them, but it is obvious you aren't. THAT is doomed. jonny1973 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 5:02:19 PM   As for jetmba's comment on why you are in Moldova-- "I love to travel, to see this world we share-- and I have been reading about Moldova. To tell you the truth, I hope to meet the woman that will be tremendously special for me-- but I will also be able to see someplace very new for me, and learn more about our world. Even more important, I will learn a little about your language and culture, and I can hope we will both be very lucky and find what we are looking for~~" jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 5:12:34 PM   With all due respect - what you write directly above is never going to fly. These girls come from impoverished countries - but that doesn't mean that they are stupid. "Even more important, I will learn a little about your language and culture, and I can hope we will both be very lucky and find what we are looking for"????? That's a really bad load of crap and these girls can spot crap from a mile away. The post jonny1973 writes above that makes more sense. How are you going to explain that you are just there for two days to each girl? Did yoyu fly in? Most DECENT girls I know will either want to meet you at the airport or see you off. (Maybe you could kiss her good bye and then duck into a bathroom until your supposed flight takes off? (I'm kidding of course.) and then get set to meet the next girl?) Fast talking tricky guys don't tend to be very successful with women HERE or over there. Try it if you want to - but you better hope to find a girl with the IQ of an onion - as no other girl will fall for it. harantis Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 5:17:47 PM   Zeeco, I appreciate the difficulty you're describing. And indeed, your intent to meet more than one woman per trip is very understandable, wise and appropriate IMHO. I think you're being rational. Half way around the world is a long way to go just for one blind date, and as you well know, they can easily tell you to simply get lost. That having been said, I wouldn't count on any woman to view matters as rationally as you've explained them. I'd agree with the woman's differing view if somehow she'd given you something upon which you can hang your hat. But you haven't even suggested she has. My inclination would be to say as little as possible about the other women. I would let them assume what they wished. If asked directly, I'd be 100% honest. She may not like the answer, and from my perspective, my answer would be "tough cookies." One time here in the states, after I'd complained that to the woman I was dating about her dating other men, she said to me, "You don't want me dating other men ? Put a ring on this here finger," as she pointed with her right index finger to the fourth finger on her left hand. That pretty much got the point across .... and in the absence of my willingness to put a ring on "that there" finger .... exactly what did I really have to complain about ? beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 6:41:19 PM   zeeco, Are all three women in same city? If so, you could end up with 3 disappointed women and 1 disappointed guy. How do you time everything? I know I am a juggler but I juggle only 1 in each city, that is hard enough. I agrre with jonny about talking about getting together for coffee or dinner, don't bring number of days to with them. That will bend their ears. I would put in order 1-3 of your preference. Hopeful you will hit it off with first girl. I also wonder if girls are with same agency. Maybe they know each other. Tough call, good luck johnwill Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 7:20:45 PM   These women are used to being lied to and from what I am learning are very keen on it. Just tell the truth. I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 9:19:36 PM   Zeeco: This is one of the most amusing subjects to me in this whole pursuit because really it is a no brainer. I have seen arguments and debates abound all over the internet and hotel bars etc on exactly this. You have been provided with some insight by writers above and I'll add to that. You have NO HOPE in the world of keeping this quiet if you are meeting multiple ladies. NO HOPE whatsoever. I know Russia better than I know Moldova, but I have been in Moldova on several occiasions. You ain't gunna meet more than one without the other/s knowing. Thats the first thing you need to get real about. I've seen this argument time and time and time again. "I have to travel so far and should not have to put all my eggs into one basket, it might fail". Get used to it if you are serious about finding a lady from the FSU who is worthwhile. It might still be something of a "Meeting market" but it sure AIN'T a "Meat Market". These women will have you on toast before breakfast if you try to "Play the game". They are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too sharp for us in these matters. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too sharp. Sure you might have some fun and might even get laid a few times but you are most unlikely to find good wife material this way. Of all the people I know who are successfully married to FSU women, by far the vast majority of them (greater than 80%) messed around with all sorts of plans and eventually after a few trips settled on a "One Trip, One Woman" approach. On paper the odds look poor by doing this, but in reality it stacks up because every woman wants to feel special. Hell, you are looking for a special woman are you not? You are not going to find too many worthy women from over there who will show you their real self whilst she knows/thinks she is it for today but another lady is in her shoes tomorrow. Some will tolerate it but they still hate it. There is one and one only way to hedge your bets without compromising your integrity or privacy and that is this. Pick your key lady of interest, arrange to meet her early in the trip, establish an association with a reliable agent whom you can also use for logistical support if necessary. Leave the back end of your trip very open. Meet your lady, if there is fireworks then great the rest of the trip you make up together, nothing more is necessary. If it goes tits up with Miss Cyber Wow, then revert to the agency and meet as many as you want. There is simply no downside to this and if Miss Cyber Wow ain't the one, you'll both know and you just might even get the opportunity to spend a day or so with her and meet a couple of her friends. Integrity preserved, no pressure on you or anyone else and life becomes too simple. Any other plan can and does, for some people work, but what I have outlined is the ONLY zero risk, zero pressure method that has proved to work. You cover all your bases including hotels, terps, rah rah rah by using the agent as the back up tool. BTW, in case you missed my point, Kishinev is not too big, they'll know.:-) As for the Guys that say, well we dated multiple women at home and it is not a problem until "Ring" stage, my comment is yes I did that too, BUT please remove your head from a certain cavity before your anal muscle chokes you. You are going to another country/culture/location. Why FFS? You are looking for something different. Did it occur that you might have to approach it differently? Like I said before, no brainer really. BTW if the number of trips you (Anyone) is prepared to make is dictated by finances, then I suggest you forget the whole idea because you are up for several trips however you do it and then the real expenses start. Think about that before going further. FWIW I/O jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 9:48:47 PM   I agree with everything O/I said - IF you are talking about meeting women based on writing letters. I STILL maintain that the BEST way to meet these women is at a Romance Social. SURE there will be protitutes there and there will be scammers. And if you are dumb enough to fall for either one and waste your time - then its too bad for you. But there are many wonderful genuine women there too - just hoping to meet a decent guy. You have to use a few skills to meet the right one but it will happen. Leave the engagement ring home however. And girl who takes one on that trip is not the girl you want. You better plan a FEW trips. But trying to pull a fast one on one of these girls for the sake of economy - fah-gged-a-bowd-it. It ain't gonna work. Philly Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 10:59:08 PM   I have been to Ukraine on several trips, as jetmba and I/O have said. The more I go, the less I know, so I am not the expert on how to find an FSU wife. In general the women there are very busy living their lives, and they fit you into their schedule when they can, and often times simply do not show up for their dates. Actually, one cannot generalize, because some are serious, some are not; some are considerate, some are not. If you do go there to meet just one woman, you better darn well have a PLAN B, whether it is to meet other women you've written, or to go the agency route, or learn the Russian/Ukrainian languages and hit the bars. Because Plan A will most likely fail. Okay, I'm a pessimist. :) Most interesting is the tip I have heard from a few western men I've met in Ukraine who have actually become engaged: don't travel to Ukraine to meet a woman unless you have first been corresponding with them via webcams over the internet, using Skype. If language is a barrier, one can use internet translation services; they are not always accurate, but several goals are accomplished. First, you can see each other's appearance and mannerisms, and hear each other's voices. It is basically a first meeting, and avoids you wasting an entire trip to FSU where you or the lady reject the other after one meeting for lack of attraction. Second, since you are using free email and low cost Skype, you bypass the pay-for-translation-letters scam potential and increase your chances of meeting a real FSU woman. Third, if the woman is interested enough to put the time into the relationship to regularly correspond with you this way, you reduce the likelihood of traveling to FSU and ending up meeting the casual dater woman who is only interested in having you pay for nice restaurants or vacations in Kiev/Odessa/etc. You can send her a few dollars to pay for internet access, and there are webcams at many of the internet cafes for her use. I welcome any feedback... Philly Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/21/2007 10:59:28 PM   I have been to Ukraine on several trips, as jetmba and I/O have said. The more I go, the less I know, so I am not the expert on how to find an FSU wife. In general the women there are very busy living their lives, and they fit you into their schedule when they can, and often times simply do not show up for their dates. Actually, one cannot generalize, because some are serious, some are not; some are considerate, some are not. If you do go there to meet just one woman, you better darn well have a PLAN B, whether it is to meet other women you've written, or to go the agency route, or learn the Russian/Ukrainian languages and hit the bars. Because Plan A will most likely fail. Okay, I'm a pessimist. :) Most interesting is the tip I have heard from a few western men I've met in Ukraine who have actually become engaged: don't travel to Ukraine to meet a woman unless you have first been corresponding with them via webcams over the internet, using Skype. If language is a barrier, one can use internet translation services; they are not always accurate, but several goals are accomplished. First, you can see each other's appearance and mannerisms, and hear each other's voices. It is basically a first meeting, and avoids you wasting an entire trip to FSU where you or the lady reject the other after one meeting for lack of attraction. Second, since you are using free email and low cost Skype, you bypass the pay-for-translation-letters scam potential and increase your chances of meeting a real FSU woman. Third, if the woman is interested enough to put the time into the relationship to regularly correspond with you this way, you reduce the likelihood of traveling to FSU and ending up meeting the casual dater woman who is only interested in having you pay for nice restaurants or vacations in Kiev/Odessa/etc. You can send her a few dollars to pay for internet access, and there are webcams at many of the internet cafes for her use. I welcome any feedback... I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/22/2007 12:54:54 AM   Jet: No arguement from me on that as I don't know about the socials. I never have and never will do one, so yes I was dealing in the relm of those who do the letter writing thing. However, I will point one thing out, the plan I outlined was not used by me. Things for me developed very differently. I put this forward as something I have seen work successfully in several cases and also the guys who didn't actually meet "The One" still enjoyed their trip emmensly. My other half and her Russian friends also support this idea. They all say it is also difficult for them because they of course want to meet the "Right Man" and they feel it is kinda stating dupliciously by meeting several, so it is a catch 22 situation. I would also add that there is no pressure. I suspect the "Social" thing does bring pressure to perform for some. But again I havn't done one so I don't really know. FWIW I/O beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/22/2007 1:27:05 AM   I/O, I do understand you and what you write and I am sure you are much wiser than I but I have a lot of trouble flying half way around the world to see only 1 girl and if that doesn't work go to an agency and coldcock find girls to spend time with? I do the letter writing thing to hopefully find a girl I feel close enough and trust enough to meet. My idea is to spend 4-5 days with each girl and find out how we feel about each other. If things go well THEN I'll come back and spend a couple weeks with girl. I won't see more than 1 girl in each city. One girl I talked to regarding this situation told me she expects guys that come over to see other women. Of course she would rather him come to only see her. I told her I came to see her only.That is, in her city. I did mention other cities I visited but did not elaborate on many details regarding girls. What do your wife's friends think about what I do? I/O Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/22/2007 9:35:10 AM   Beemer18: The bottom line is they know the drill and can see the issues but they don't like it being done to them anymore than they like doing it to others. As I said, some will tolerate it but that's about as much as you'll get out of them. There is a million ways this can be done and all I have done is put forward the only "Idiot proof" method I have seen work well for several different people. 1 city or many cities, the girls know whats going on if you spend any less than a week with them, because nobody comes to Russia for a couple of days so it's "game over" before you start. The group of girls/women we associate with just can't cope with the idea and will refuse to meet anyone on this multi meet basis. They don't condemn the guys, but they simply say they can't and don't want to handle it that way. What they do say uniformally is that they doubt too many guys will find good wives in Russia on this basis. Yes they are on the conservative side, but they feel that most, not all, but most who are prepared to submit to this process are not the cream of the crop. There is a million arguements back and forth about the validity of this multi meet process, but it ALWAYS comes back to the question of how to handle it and I have never seen a foolproof method put forward, because IMO there isn't one. It can be done, but it ain't easy. To each his own, but I have seen some awefully duplicious behaviour in this caper over time and FWIW that ain't a very good way to start what you hope will be a life long relationship. I/O jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/22/2007 10:06:09 AM   But if you DO go to an FSU country for a week or more to meet a single girl it is VITAL that you have a backup plan. Or you face the prospect of staring at some hotel room wall, while your prescious and limited vacation time (if you are a working stiff like most of us) slowly ebbs away. You must have the name of an agency that you can contact or some alternative names and addresses of sume girls - wo you have not promised you will visit, but who might be interested in meeting you. When I have worked from home (as opposed to prospecting in the FSU) I have NEVER had any trouble finding a number of appealing and interesting women who are willing to meet me, if I happen to be over there. Not every girl to be sure - but there are always some. They generally give me their home phone nymbers, their cell phone numbers and an offer to go out with me for dinner, or dancing or just to show me around. Its a legitimate backup plan. I generally write to a number of women, just once, and tell them that I may be in the area at some time in the next month. And I ask if they might be willing to meet me. And stated previously in other places, some will outright refuse as they do not want to be perceived as part of a sex tourist trip. Others will say specifically that they prefer to write a few times before meeting. But I have always had six or eight girls who were willing to meet on a moments notice. After all - for them its a free dinner and a chance to meet a foreign guy that they meay or may not have any further interest in. For me its a chance to have a face-to-face meeting with a real live FSU female girl (not a questionable profile which could be written by anybody). If it doesn't work out - I call the next one. No lies. No phoneyness. No game playing. This is prospecting. And definitely only Plan B. But it beats the hell out of playing goofball games with girls who are likely smarter at this than we are. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/22/2007 10:14:26 AM   I might add - if you resort to Plan B as I describe above - you can always tell the girl that you orignially came over to meet someone else who you had written to for a long time, but it simply did not work out. Again, no lying or game playing. If she is decent girl she will understand and if you are a decent guy, she might appreciate that she is receiving a possible windfall. What you DON'T want to do over there is to waste your precious time trying to FIND a girl like this. Don't listen to the people who say "Just get a translator and go to a bar or disco." That's a time consuming method and unlikely to produce decent results. The single time I DIDN'T prospect from home first - I wasted nearly a week (okay it was five days) in an internet cafe in Latvia trying to write to girls saying "I'm here!". I'll never do that again. danny3777 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/22/2007 10:29:41 AM   Plan C, annex A, sub paragraph 2 is always the best, that's when one retires to the bar to get shitfaced :) jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/22/2007 11:01:30 AM   If you have six or eight Plan B girls lined up - you'll never have TIME to retire to the bar. 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