Just wondering, for you guys who are writing to more than one lady, do you share that information with them?
Also, lets say you are going to one country to meet 3-4 ladies ... would you share with them that the reason your time is limited is because you are meeting other people?
I am not used to share with a lady the information that I am writing to other ladies as well. I have adopted a "don't say don't ask" politics. You can guess how many guys a lady is writing to through the number of letters she receives. Ladies do not have access to such info about men. BUT, if you write to more ladies in the same agency, they will likely know about each other. Recently, a girl wrote me that she knows I am writing to a friend of hers too. How embarrassing!
About the other question, I met a girl that appreciated my honesty about meeting another girl on the same trip, in the same city. Nonetheless, I am convinced that genuine ladies want to feel that they are special to you.
what i did was i had 2 or 3 girls writing to me and i look at hwo was serious about the meeting once i made my mind up i told them that i was writing to another girl but that i was coming to see her and told the others that i had met someone i think being honest is the best policy and it has always work for me they know if you are writing someone else and so i made a point to tell them ,then i spent all my ime with the one that went to see andas it happen it work out very well sometimes it will not work out like mine did but my wife told me also that she had written to other men but i
was the only 1 that she wanted to meet
you guys need to remember they read very close what you write in your letters and if you speak to them on the phone they also listen to what you say and how you say it just as we do them these women are very smart and for the most part they are looking for something that will last a lifetime not something that will only last when you cometo see them
and in my case i found what i wanted the 1st trip
i guess different things work for different people but i thing to be up front and honest about all if you dont she will know hammer
Ditto to that Hammer!!Almost the same situation for me. I had written to about 80 women and for one reason or another they fizzled out, age differences and philosophical reasons. It finally came down to three, one in Kiev and two in Mariupol. Fiance.com eliminated the one in Kiev for me, as it turned out it was a rogue operation. That left the two in Mariupol. My wife knew I was writing two, but I had explained to her I was coming to meet just one on my trip. The other in Mariupol blew me a bunch of shit for not calling her on her birthday, well she told me she didn't have a phone so it left it just to one. Well it turned out fantastic for me. I met my wife in Kiev without agency assistance, we both agreed that the agency brought nothing to the table but expense. Her english wasn't that great at the time, but we had a blast learning to communicate with each other. Needless to say two years later we were Married in Tennessee.
King your luck sucks, but it's not the first time I've heard about a guy getting letters from the same agency. It happened to me also with my wifes. Made me wonder if the agency wasn't trying to set me up to see if I was serious about meeting my wife. Trust me, the agency is not your friend. I had a situation in my job were I had to postpone my first trip to meet my wife and the agency kept telling her that I was nothing but a keyboard romeo. I used to call her on my lunch hour every day and told her it was out of my control due to personnel issues. We had written each other for a long time and luckily she believed in me. They kept hammering her to write other men and she wouldn't.
After we met in Kiev without the agency they dropped her like a hot potato. She had no value, they wouldn't help her with anything regarding preparation for a visa. She had lost her value as a revenue source for them. Agencys suck, they really don't provide as far as I'm concerned any value beyond translation services and then you still have to verify how legitmate that is. I still feel the last three I was writing, two were not legitmate and it proved to be that way. I was calling my wife everyday before we met and I knew she was on the up and up. I look at this mostly with trust but verify.
I have been inundated with letters from ladies in the same city (same agency) over the past few months. Still wondering why... The funny thing is that their ages range from 19 to 44 :-)
i agree with nasfan the agency was the same with my wife and like nasfan i called everyday to speak with my wife and the agency was pissed when she left left he said as long as she was making them money it was good and they kept after her to write to more men and she flat out refused and then cancelled now we are very happy married and doing great if you can go without a agency thats what i would suggest but in many cases you cant and they tell the women that they must use the agency hammer
I agree on all of the above. I met my girl without any agencies or translators and would never go for such a thing. I just packed my bag, after she asked if I wanted to visit her. Her Engish was not very good, but we were able to communicate (sometimes with a help of a small translation device). Now, after 7 months, her English is far, far better so we have no problems in that field what so ever. I really don't see a point in using an agency. They just suck money out of your pocket. My advice is to meet the girl in personal, arrange everything yourself. If she speaks even a little English you'll be fine. If she does not speak English at all, then what's the point of going there. You will never get to know her, when someone is translating everything for you. I cannot imagine how chemistry can do the job with a third person involved and no direct communication. In my case I was also not writing to more than one as she really popped out. You know, you can talk for hours or write long emails, while with others you really need to think what to write. So trust your instincts, and go. There is so much cr*p and negativity on this forum, but don't let this scare you away. And if you go, just visit one. How would you feel if a girl would come to visit you and told you: btw, I have 3 other meets on the agenda for this trip. Would you still be interested in her ? I know I wouldn't...this all IMHO of course :-)
Thomas,
I do not agree with the go visit only one. If you are meeting for first time what is wrong with meeting others. You have no idea what will happen on first couple days. If it is a second trip that is different situation and you are right. As long as you are focused and a gentleman( not a sex tourist). It is easier when girls are in different cities. Let me ask you, will the girl you go to see only, tell you about the guy that came last week or the one coming in a couple weeks. It goes both ways. It is highly unlikely she will tell you anything and you have no way of finding out. This is like the IMBRA form US guys need to fill out, giving personal info to a girl, yet we are in dark about the girls past, finding out only when going through fiancee process. I have tried the see 'only one girl' and it bombed. I would gladly welcome a girl that came to visit me, even if she saw others...as long as she paid for flight, apt, dinners, shopping, breakfast, lunch, nightlife, drinks, cafe, gifts...need I go on.