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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Marriage Agencies -- or Mail Order Brides? Author Post apal1 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 1:48:39 PM   Ok, here is what gets me. I still see marriage agencies advertising that they are Mail Order Brides Services. To me there is a big difference and its such a big difference it borders on false-advertising. ** To the newbies ** Most Marriage Agency websites will market to the gullible so a new customer thinks, omfg -- you mean I can marry some girl half my age and looking like a model and all I have to do is write and then visit them, no matter what I look like and she will marry me? ** Absolutely not ** Listen, today this is much more like international online dating -- Picture Match.com with girls from a country a bit poorer than those in America and Europe. It is not a mail-order-bride service like they had 100 years ago. The difference? From what I have heard from the old timers is that during the 1990's is that yes, it was a very desperate time there and much more like a mail-order-bride operation, but definately not anymore. Today, it's more of a chance for girls to meet the man of THEIR dreams (richer, more stable, nicer, more sincere and faithful than the normal insincere local guys her age who just want sex from her that she meets every week at nightclubs, school, from friends, etc. Sure there are good guys in the FSU. I have met them, but they truly struggle trying to just provide even a modest, humble life for their family there. Guys doing the equivalent job there make 10-20% of what we make in the West. My doctor friend only made $100/mo, a software developer/owner I do business with made maybe $500-1000/mo. If these guys lived in America, they would easily make $200-500k/yr. ** Are girls excited to meet a Western guy? ** Yes, if you do actually go and your girl has never met an American or Westerner before, she is gonna be starry-eyed (if you are good looking). Your chances go way up on the eligible bachelor scale with her immediately, because a lot of girls know that her chance of meeting ANY decent local male who can give her a stable family life is more rare there than it is here in the US. It is also rare that a guy she likes -- who writes her -- actually comes to ever visit. *** Warning, if the girl is prettier than normal *** Watch out. Any woman knows her worth -- and if she is like Monada, which a lot of the prettier girls I have met around the world are... she is gonna be a little more superficial and expect her man to provide her with exactly the materialistic life she always dreamed of. Otherwise, why would she leave her country, her friends, her family to be with some not-so-great-looking guy who doesn't really make that much money from the West? That is about as honest a picture of the current situation as one can get... ** Flipside argument ** Take for instance, if you lost your job, and had no money. Would you marry some fat, ugly, rude, richer, hairy older woman from Bulgaria so you could have a chance at a life and give her your children? Then why would you expect today's FSU girl to do the same? I do know some guys with no morals who would do it, depending on how rich the woman was... same thing goes for these girls. If you like who you are and know you are a catch, be reasonable, be skeptical, be honest about yourself and go for it. *** Lessons I learned *** If I give the marriage agency (online dating agencies) another try, I will be a lot more pickier and not allow a girl to get away from answering my questions regarding her expectations. Those unrealistic expectations are what causes most of these marriage agency (and even online dating) failures. Pick a city to focus on, write a dozen girls, settle for 3-4 to focus on and just go see them. See your most favorite girl first. If you really like one, and if there's immediate chemistry -- spend your time with her, *DO NOT see the other girls* After you return home, write them a lot more and be prepared to make a follow up visit within 6 months. No one expects you to ask them to marry you on your first visit, (yeah sometimes it happens, just like someone wins the lottery back home). lol! PS> If you meet one girl you like and then leave her to go see the other girls? Your a pig. You will be seen as one and it will ruin your chances with her. Only see other girls if you think something is wrong and you are not connecting like you wanted. A girl there is gonna know she only has one shot with you. If she behaves improperly leave her fast. I think we had a discussion about this. I think we all agreed with this one too. I know if someone came to visit me, and then left me after a couple of dates to meet some other guy? I'd drop her fast. No questions. Same things goes for them. ** There is no way I'd recommend just ANYONE try for a foreign wife ** Why? More often than not, it's almost a total crapshoot and the entire process is very expensive for anyone making less money than is normal in their hometown. (Correspondences, Trip, Lawyer, Visa, financial support once you get her home, etc.) Save yourself some unnecessary heartache and look for a nice local girl. It might take longer, but it's much more realistic. If you go, see it as a nice, escort-laden vacation in a 2nd/3rd world city. Who knows, you might just be in the (0.01%) percentile of guys who write, meet and marry their dream girl. And if you do go, write to more than one girl. True romance for me went out the window when I saw how greedy the very pretty girls are in big FSU cities. Love for Money -- monada believes in it. I seen it, but its not me. MONADA Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 2:52:14 PM   : )) ) apal, I have tasted love without money... TWICE!!! YEARS OF MY LIFE!!! TWO GUYS< WITH SOOO HEAVY ASS< THAT THEY COULDN'T EVEN FEED THEMSELF!!!!! I AM TIRED!!!!! TIRED, APAL!!! I WANT NOW LOVE WITH MONEY!!! NOT LESS!!! IF NO MONEY - I DON'T NEED LOVE. MAN DOES@T LOVE WOMAN IS HE HAS NO MONEY FOR HER!!!!! I HAVE MY BABY AND I WON'T NEVER AND EVER IN MY LIFE BE SLAVE UNDER NICE LOVE WORDS AND NEVER WILL GIVE A PENCE TO A MAN!!!! NEVER!!! I'M FINISHED!!!!! AND TIRED!!!! I WANT: 1) MAN 2) LOVE 3) MONEY 4) FREEDOM 5) SAFE LIFE 6) RELATION IN TRUSTING AND FAITHFULLNESS WHICH CAN PROVIDE ME ALL - AAAALL - I WANT. ****** Other wise what for I need a man????? I don't need any dick. And I'm able to feed myself and buy all I want. I don't need man for average. I WANT MAN TO GET MORE FROM LIFE!!! That is ME. I AM SO. tringa Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 6:09:19 PM   apal, excellent comments! MONADA, Hope you find your happiness! MONADA Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 6:11:26 PM   sure MONADA Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 6:15:39 PM   When you know what you want - then to get is from life is easy. And whatever you do - every your step will be goal orientated. MONADA Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 6:51:31 PM   Let's define with the word "money". What it means for you, guys? For me that means OPPORTUNITIES. ******************************** You have to understand also than women here live different life style and "money" are still problem here. Not bcs Ukraine is poor, but bcs we live wild capitalism times and finances are divided and concentrated into the arms of a few people. When you work for somebody here you'll hardly be able to feed your family. And you, guys, open your eyes. All the rest world is not that easy for opportunities and high developed counties. You do work hard to build your life. Men in west all work. That's strange for me, UA woman, when I see how many Ukrainian men just hanging around... while their wives do try to provide all needed for families. You be sure, that any of you is better form Ukrainian lady then any local man. ************************************ As for Quazi (0.01%) I am with him for his ambitions, abilities and potential. I want the man to ADMIRE him…. which means to LOVE. And. I know the taste of Power, Strength and Simplicity… which is soooo complicated…. After that I do not want less. I’m spoiled woman for most of you. But I’m not typical Ukrainian. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 7:52:55 PM   Apal - with one trip to Odessa under his belt knows it all. One trip and he's got the whole Eastern European dating situation all figured out. I love it. jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 8:17:31 PM   apal: You were the one advocating spending $1,000 per night for a luxury home. You didn't actually say that you spent that much - but you thought the idea of sopending a lot for a "decent place" was a good one. So living an expensive lifestyle in a poorer-than-average country brought out the young gold diggers. Do you see any connection there? You don't seem especially bright so I will elaborate. MOST of us here seriously cosidering this, and ESPECIALLY those of us who have made a few trips, have more income than your typical guy. I know a lot of the guys here and what they do for a living - and most of us are doing very well. If you are going to go to a place like this and FLAUNT whatever money you have - you are going to get a gold digger. Plain and simple. Two American physicians were on the same trip that I was on, to Odessa. Both asked me specifically NOT to call them "doctor" as neither wanted it known how well off they were. Most recently I met a very wealthy American mortgage broker from California in Donetsk. He never even wore a SUIT on a fancy evening like the rest of us did. Oh I'm sure he could afford Armani suits without blinking an eye - but he didn't want to get attetnion just for his money. If you want ROMANCE you have to give the image of being ROMANTIC not merely a dumb wealthy American without a clue. When I was a newbee (like YOU still are) in Moldova I made the mistake of wearing a Hugo Boss suit with my lady at her request. I was stopped by a police officer who resented "rich foreign guys" taking all the "good women". He wanted to hold me for the weekend until a representative of the American Consulate could verify my papers. What he REALLY wanted was a bribe - which I paid in the amount of 200 lei (less than $20). Sooner or later it will dawn on you that LOOKING RICH (whether or not you really are) has plenty of DISADVANTAGES - regarding women and anyone else you should happen to meet over there. boredffukka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 8:45:20 PM   MONADA is a boris skiired Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 9:21:48 PM   It seems like the person writing this post has some major experiences under the belt. I have a few questions. How many times have you been to Russia or Ukraine? How much time have you spent there to come up with these conclusions? Have you dealt with a lot of agencies to come up with that information? How many women have you actually met face to face? If you did you must have spent substatial time with them to come up with all this interesting info about the Russian psyche. Just curious if you don't mind.. Thanks. Monada, by what I read you are beyond spoiled. You are the very definition of what to avoid when a man goes to your country. I think any reader here can come up with that assessment. I would think that men going to Ukraine ARE looking for a typical Ukrainian woman. By what you tell a man can stay in his own country to find one like you. Your type is the reason men look out of their own country for a wife. Remind me of a shark, hhehe. Stay out of the water! lol MONADA Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/26/2007 11:58:52 PM   to skiired: no prob, dear : ) ) ) I'm calling anyone for me : ))) You do not be scared, I know a lot of typical UA woman here.... but you know what? some men do not like them! They want smth special bitch, like MONADA :) ) )) ))) the type of this crazy men is very rare : )) ) e.g. apal: he is overeaten by beauty and searches for more... jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/27/2007 12:25:33 AM   skiired: He sure TALKS like he's had some major experiences. But the truth is a little different. I'd like him to answer these questions though for you himself. aussieman41 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/27/2007 6:14:01 AM   Monada..she works hard for the money? MONADA Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/27/2007 8:27:34 AM   really? Awayinn Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2007 4:30:27 PM   Aussieman, Monada will PAY hard for the money too. Awayinn Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2007 4:33:40 PM   Aussieman, Monada will PAY hard for the money too. Money does not come free, Monada. You will pay the price. Awayin Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/29/2007 9:01:00 PM   apal, thanyou for sharing your experience and understandings.I am grateful. Thunderdome Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/30/2007 1:47:54 AM   Henceforth the split personality is proven, said Sherlock. Awayin Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/30/2007 2:43:12 AM   ONADA, you have not 'tasted love without money'. What you had with those 'heavy ass' guys was not love. It was distraction,dependency and desperation. These men were overwhelmed by disappointment,disillusionment, unconfidence, self-pity and unsufficient self-love and expected you to save them.[They need our empathy, compassion and love.]You DECIDED to be with two uncorrect-for- you men. You made two decisions. You made two mistakes. You are making another one now. You are SELLING yourSELF for security. Buyers, no matter how much they may hide/disguise/disbelieve it always think/believe/feel that they OWN their purchases and they have expectations and conditions attached. Not only the buyer, the seller also has to pay. Legally,in the country I am in [and most other countries] a purchase contract is not binding unless the buyer gets something in return for his money. LOVE has no expectations,no conditions,no restrictions,no buying,no selling,no contract,no fright,no need for security. You are making another decision and another mistake! Please do not waste life and love. Please live! Let us look a little longer. You said [I hope I am not infringing copyright!]: I WANT: 1) MAN 2) LOVE 3) MONEY 4) FREEDOM 5) SAFE LIFE 6) RELATION IN TRUSTING AND FAITHFULLNESS WHICH CAN PROVIDE ME ALL - AAAALL - I WANT. ****** Let us look at this,one thing at a time: I WANT [one of your favorite words in this forum thread]: You are not a native English speaker so you would not have the experience of hearing, as a young child, a grandmother saying over and over 'waste not want not.' This was a very common expression. It means that if we do not waste,we do not want. Understand? Most native speakers do not understand this expression as they do not understand the meaning of the word 'want'. This expression means that if we waste we will LACK. This expression means that if we waste we will be WITHOUT. Please look up the the word 'want',everybody,in The English dictionary [The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary.] The real meaning of the word 'want' is to lack,to be WITHOUT. So every time the word want comes into our heads or out of our mouths it means that I haven't got and I am not going to get! And WITHOUT is the opposite to WITHIN. So we lack,we are not getting, because we are OUTSIDE ourselves. We can not get anything from without,from outside ourselves,we can only get from IN. Everything is found in self. So, if we want we haven't got and we aren't going to get,because we are looking without. The state the world is in today is the result of 6 billion + human beings TRYING to get what they WANT! [And trying to or achieving their desires and ambitions!]Do you really feel good about contributing to this Monada? You want: 1)MAN. You can not get a MAN: a MAN does not exist yet.['Man' is too big a topic to go into here. Another time.] To get the current correct-for-you male person you must search inside yourself to find who he is and where he is and how to meet him. This is not just for you but for the benefit of all of life. 2)LOVE.'['Love' is too big a topic to go into here.]Love can only be had by loving.'Shinnichi Suzuki.(the founder of The Suzuki Method of music tuition.)Wanting a man for his money [or anything else] is not loving, so you have not got and can not get love. To CREATE LOVE we need to LIVE IN(side.) You already know this Monada. Please live! Please Love! 3)MONEY. Money is of interest and useful only to provide opportunity and freedom in this present purchase-oriented civilization.[which won't be here much longer]Money has no intrinsic use or value. [It will be much better when it is gone.]How we earn money is of vital importance. Most money in this society is earned by doing something that is cruel, destructive,dishonest or useless. Where I am currently residing there is not one job that is useful and beneficial for all of life. Consequently I have not had a 'job' for more than ten years and I have not applied for social security. When I require money I earn it in a way that is beneficial and useful. I will de-Earth before I compromise self to earn money destructively or uselessly. Some of the ways I COULD earn money would make me a multi- millionaire. But to someone of your values Monada I would be rejected as useless because I have too much integrity. Look at the male people in your life,Monada,how are they earning the money that you think is so important?Are they doing something that is useful or beneficial or are they trashing life,love and the planet and causing this mess that we all have to reside in?Forget money Monada. Money is rubbish. FOR-GETTING money is the way to real wealth and freedom. 4)FREEDOM. We have already covered this. You have no freedom because you have sold yourself. You are a slave to your wants and desires. Please live!Please love!Please free! 5)SAFE LIFE. You want a 'safe life.' There is no such thing as a safe life. Safety [and security] and LIVING are mutually exclusive,they can not exist together. If we are safe we are not living. If we are living we are not safe. You already know this Monada. LIVE it!!!!!Love the fear!Live in courage!'I won't never and ever in my life be slave...' You are already a slave Monada. [As we all are.] Your are a slave to your fright and your desire for safety and security and your programming and conditioning [as we all are.] 6)RELATION IN TRUSTING AND FAITHFULNESS WHICH CAN PROVIDE YOU ALL YOU WANT. This is not possible while you want it. And you can not get this from somebody that you have bought.[Yes you have bought him also-what currency did you use?] You can not trust someone who has sold himself.[ If he has sold himself what would he do to you?] We resent those that we owe. You will not get faithfulness from someone that resents you bec jetmba. Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/30/2007 9:58:11 AM   I don't know Thunder.... Maybe Awayin ISN'T actually apal. Maybe its his 12-yr old nephew/lover.... Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Marriage Agencies -- or Mail Order Brides?
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