I was back home recently to get my wifes VISA sorted out.
We have been married in Kiev for three years, and I now have a job transfer to another country in the EU.
One night we were chatting on skype. I heard a beep. She said she had to go. I felt strange.
Needless to say I hired a PI. The PI said my wife was dating three foreign men. He gathered all the evidence, and I followed up with one of the boyfriends. He also mentioned my wifes best friend is the head prostitute recruiter for a escort agency and they are hanging out non-stop.
I went back to Kiev recently. She has been leaving the house all the time to 'interpret.' Last night she came in (Saturday) at 2:30 in the morning. This morning she had a call from an english speaker, when I asked her who it was on the phone, she hung up immediately and started screaming and yelling how I do not trust her, and she wants a divorse.
The mom has informed me the child will not be leaving Ukraine. She said her daugther is 50-50 on leaving and she only cheated because I left. It was my fault. I should not have left a good looking girl in Kiev alone. I pointed out I needed to go to the country to get apartment, visa process, car ect ect all in order. I also pointed out I flew home five times in 55 days to see the wife and kid! Not good enough for the mom I guess.
The brother chatted with me, said his sister was a bad girl, asked if I loved her, and told me to chase after her hard ... he has said I need to take my wife to dinner, buy expensive gifts ect ect ... he says Ukraine girls are always difficult. He says he does not live in the house because my wife always screams and yells at everyone and the whole family hates her. He says the grandma does what ever she is told by my soon to be ex-wife. He also mentioned he does not like my wifes friends and says they are very bad people. However they tell my wife she is pretty and she follows them everywhere.
Regardless divorse is the only way to go here.
The child is almost two and never even acknowledges the mom (my wife) ... it is all grandma, grandma and grandma.
In other words it is wacked.
The child will be better served long term by a divorse, as will my sanity.
I have business interests in Kiev. I will live in Kiev so I can be close to my daughter. I am looking for an apartment as I am writing this! I have a permanent residence here because I had a child in the Ukraine
I will leave my wife, and ask for 50-50 custody. The grandma does not want this. She looks after the kid all day while my wife goes shopping. She is a major problem the mom, and my opinion is always number two to the mother.
My child has a Canada passport, born in Kiev, but dad is a Canadian.
Does the mom need my permission to take the child out of the country?
If the family refuses to give me custody can I just go to the apartment with my lawyer, take the kid, and tell my wife see you in court (well my wife wont be their, the old grandparents will be LOL) I was told I can do this in a roundabout way by an offical who felt sorry for my plight. The official said as long as we are married it is 50-50, and the police could not order me or arrest me, as I am the dads father, I have all the papers, and the passports. The police will not get involved in a family matter from what I am told.
If the mom leaves the country with another man can I get the kid, or will the government want to leave it with the grandma?
Is there any way my wife can leave the country with the kid?
How fast is a divorse? How long does it take courts to determine custody? Could the whole divorse and custody proceeding be made problematic to enable a feasable negotiation such as I have the right to take the child out of the country ect ect ... the family is saying the kid does not leave ... I say they are doing this to hold me hostage ... and the marriage hostage.
I give my wife between 900 to 1300 USD a month. When I took my job transfer two months ago she moved into an apartment with her mom that she half owns. She pays no rent She lives with her mom and owns the flat. How much should I give in child support. What is fair? What is reasonable. I came back after some time away and my wife has all these new clothes, new shoes, an empty fridge, and I think she is spending the money on clothes, and getting money for generous foreign men!
Ideas, suggestions, insight?
Regardless I am looking forward to a divorse. Better to find this out now than later. I will find a better wife the second time around! Looking for some suggestions and best case answers. Fortunately I can get work online and live pretty much where I want - so being single and in Kiev is not really to bad of a thing if you catch my drift - and I am close to the kid which is number 1.
4) If she wants to go to a western country she needs a letter from you stating you allow your child to leave the country. If she can't get a letter from the father she needs a document from the court stating she has sole custody, so if you had gone to court and got 50/50 custody then she can't get this document (probably you need to as your not a Ukrainian). At least this is norm ie what western countries requirement to issue a visa for a child. Iím not sure what is the law on divorce in the Ukraine, you should probably get a lawer there.
Sorry to hear your situation. Sounds like a woman who was rotten before you met. She likes the other crowd, sounds like you need to use Fiance.com to find a new local girl who didn't rot and fall so far from the tree like this one did.
Bigreddude, You are giving your wife much too much money. $900 to $1300 is about three or four times too much. You are trying to buy her love. I tried that too. The more you spend, the more contempt you get.
Cry it out, tough it out, and then go out and find another cute girl. It's the way of the world bigred... She heard the cry of the wild.
This sort of thing happened a 100 years ago with my great-grandfather once. His wife after 20 years wanted the exciting party life. She had it, and left my grand-mother and her entire family behind... Ended up in her old years in a single room shack of a house with no one to share her life with and no one who really cared about her. I had no respect for her when I met her for the first time and did not say one word to her when I was a little kid and was introduced to her when she was 95. An almost simliar tale beheld my own mother with her own mother. Maybe that's why I have been single and unmarried... who knows... Both died alone and without their loved ones...
Sad way to live a life...
I need a tissue... :)
PS> Dont pay her a red cent until you are told to do so by a local attorney -- get one quick. You do not want this woman back in your life. She won't respect you and will keep doing it to you while you are with her. * BE WARNED *
As for the sincerity of women in these agencies? One girl I was writing to happened to give me her mail.ru address. I used a translator to search and see if she had a blog -- she did. She was talking about having sex with some new guy she met because he had money and cars and took her out to eat -- and lived in the same city she was in...
I already knew these girls had boyfriends and lovers while they are in these marriage agencies.
So be warned... geezus... I am beginning to seriously doubt the sincerity of any FSU girl in these agencies.
And you think these girls only write to one guy? omfg...
apal - how can you ever trust somebody's sincerity you have never ever met who is ten thousand miles away from where you live knowing the fact that you have no chances of investigating her sincerity only if you think very much serious about her.
I did meet her, so I don't know what you're referring to -- unless you meant I chose to write only her.
If that's the case (like 90% of the other guys who had some type of success) I still recommend this tactic of writing many, weeding out the less compatible, but to focus on 1-2 when you get ready and feel its good timing to finally meet.
I do focus on writing only one girl at a time, but it's just me. I actually am too sincere...
To focus on writing to only one girl explains why you were so pissed when your girl ended up being a
gold digger. To write for 6 months and end up like that seems a terrible waste of time.
For me, I write to 15-20 and as time goes list gets shortened and every now and then I add a few. Just my way.
I know when I go to Ukraine, I have a short list of who to visit and if things don't work out with one, I have others to meet. I have no expectations other than to have a nice time and be myself. I am not too crazy about going to an agency cold and finding 'dates'. From the one time I did this, I felt girls were just 'dates', there for the agency to go out with men who are visiting. Why else would you pick a girl from their site, they call girl and arrange a meeting that night for you for $$$. Girl knows '0' about you and you see her pic.
Apal - I might have skipped the fact that you actually met with her. Well, if you ask me i am also for focusing on a few ladies since it saves you some time to focus on what you are writing and makes you find out some more ways and questions to be more picky.
I agree beemer that's the best tactic for those of us who really like writing letters. I did have fun dating girls not in agencies though. They were so caught up in the moment, unlike the agency girls who see what goes on with the guys who try to buy a pretty girl to start a family.