A question for those of you who've made trip(s) to Russia:
If going to Russia with the expectation that you may want to marry the girl you've been corresponding with, what do you need to bring with you? Is it normal to get married on your first trip over, or do people typically get engaged, then later the man travels back to Russia to marry her?
For those of you who've proposed to a Russian woman, did you bring a ring with from your home country to propose with? Not to sound like I am a penny pincher, but here in the USA, the "conventional wisdom" (or stupidity) is that a man is supposed to spend 2 months salary on the engagement ring. Do Russian ladies object to a more plain ring (of under $1000)? I would hope that the lady is interested in me and not the size of the rock on her finger.
Time to get you introduced to Elena. Goto http://www.womenrussia.com and start reading. All you ask is in there, just find it. Whilst searching you'll find plenty more though.
What probably also is in there is advice not to marry before you are damn certain you want to marry her - and she you! Let her come over on a fiancee-visa which has a maximum period of validity (dunno, ask around) then marry just before the visa expires (she'll have to go back otherwise) - that is if you both still want to.
But then again, that's just advice, ultimately you're on your own - in the plural form?
A trip 'over' as you call it is typically to get to see the girl, live, talk to her, experience her - and take it from there. Quite different from writing and phoning I guarantee you. Love her or loathe her. If you habitually marry a girl the next morning by all means, suit yourself.
Oh, and before you buy any fingerrocks - size does matter, just a thought.
I agree in all Thunderdome said except one thing: size of fingerrock should not matter! Don't give a ring until she's here. Anywhere in Europe, diamond engagement rings are not popular. Both women and men wear plain wedding bands with no rock on the top. Women in Russia are not familiar with American customs. It is only in America where the size of the fingerrock demontsrates a man's love for his lady. There are many couples who get married in Russia without exchanging wedding bands (obviously because of economic hardship). I am engaged to a girl from Ukriane and she's here on a 3-month fiancee visa. I have not given her a wedding band yet and she loves me like a God.
A guy on my St. Petersburg tour got engaged on his first trip to see the girl he had been corresponding with for months. They ended up shopping for a ring there and she chose a nice band for about $200. He ended getting his there too for around the same price. wtrav is correct that the rock size should not matter. If it does then she's been polluted by our western ways and you should run! As for token gifts when you first meet her I brought a small soft stuffed animal, perfume, bathing products. The stuffed animal was a smash hit! Bring candy for Mom or other family members and Vodka from you own country (mine was Skyy from America)for the dad if he is still around. You find a lot of Russian fathers abandon the family. Thats another reason western men are more attractive to FSU women.
And it's also not exactly what I meant Easy R.
Elena's continuing saga explains the non-customary ring-exchange as Wtrav explains, and he's right (I am from Europe, and - measured by the above reactions - quite unfamiliar with American glittering standards).
However size DOES matter - for two reasons I mentioned it:
- Has she got thick or thin fingers? You'll need to know beforehand, i.e. buy the correct size first time (some rings don't like alterations, especially not the rocky kind).
- You asking her finger-size beforehand will quite obviously take away any surprise-effect. But also it will push you into a corner where getting out of can be nasty.
The best presents one can give are genuine souvenirs from your country. An aussie might give a kangeroo-wallet, a new zealander some possum-fur thingy, a frenchman some old rare red wine, a dutchman some wooden shoes, and an american ..........
Mind you, being a Swiss obviously has it's own problems - you'll have to bring a Bank.
Thunderdome, I went ahead and read the "Russian Women Secrets" and the "About Russia" sections on Elena's womenrussia.com site. Very informative. I'm curious how many of you guys have done some study of the Russian language before going there. I'm doing some self-study now and taking a class that starts in a couple of weeks. Obviously, I will be far from proficient at the language if I travel there next year, but I think it'll help break down the language barrier and enable me to understand her culture better.
I'm thinking of writing a postal mail to the girl I'm most interested in and including some things like a CD of American music. Do you guys think this would be appropriate? Do Russian women have access to CD players to play music? I heard that cassette tapes and MiniDisc players are big over there.
Oh, before I forget (and talking about money) - use a courier for any parcels/presents will you? Some joker overthere has some french perfume, quite a load of photo-books and also, indeed, some CD's.
They're still mine, the girl's never seen them.
Jeez Rider, why ask a forum what music-format to send - surely you can ask her what decks she has (so she can actually play them)?
And while you're busy, just ask what types of music she likes. I mean, PLEASE don't send ME any rap or reggae, get it?
Good luck with your language-lessons. Up to quadrupule negations is not for the faint-hearted. I speak several languages but am lost hearing russian.