Hey all, I am new to this forum, but I have been a member of fiance.com for over a year now. I am getting back from deployment pretty soon, and I will be going over to Ukraine in December. I do have a few questions though.
1. How should I dress? I am a pretty casual guy (I guess wearing a uniform every day does that to you) but I can polish up nice. I don't want to be overdressed, and I sur as hell don't want to be under dressed. I am a sh*tkicker at heart, so I am comfortable in my old pair of wranglers and some boots. I want to make a good first impression though. Any suggestions?
2. Would it be a good idea to bring a little something with me on the plane to give to her when I meet her? I want to show her I appreciate her, but don't want to seem like I am trying to 'buy' her.
3. My girl told me the appartment she has for me is nice and a 'modern' appartment. What all does that mean?
4. What would be some good things to do while I am there? It is my first time in Ukraine, so I don't want to ask her every day 'So, what are we doing today?' I want something special and unique for both of us to remember.
Thats all i can think of now, but I am sure I will have some more questions later.
Thanks,
Tom
Hi Whiskeymedic
1) Good shoes are important. A shirt not t-shirt also. But no need to over dress.
2) Personally I think its better to take something like perfume but wait until after you meet her at the airport.
3) Probably has running hot water, air con etc, maybe good TV with cable and DVD player etc
4) Depends on the city, some guys might be able to give you ideas depending on the city. But it is a very good idea for you to not be dependent on her and have your own plans of things to do. Maybe plan to see a movie (some places play both english and russian via headphones).
Good luck!
Worldwide, Americans are regarded as the worst dressers (read that in US Today recently). Forget the old wranglers, wear (at the very least) khakis. And nice ones. Or better yet dress pants. And it is important that they be ironed. And creases that are supposed to be there should stand out. This goes double for shirts. They should be button-up and out of the package, ironed.
When advised to wear nice shoes, we're not talking about nice athletic shoes. Though you will find (pirated) items all over the place with brand names like Nike, Puma, Addidas - they athletic shoe is definitely NOT a fashionable thing to wear over there, But neither are your boots. You have to get some nice dress shoes and expect to wear them everywhere. You will also be expected to remove them at the door when you enter an apartment or your hotel, and to brush, clean, or polish them before you leave again.
If you have been writing to her for a while it might be appropriate to bring along a little necklace (because no need to worry about size) with a simple heart pendant. That seems to go over very well.
The perfume idea is a good one provided you have discussed what she likes. Sometimes tast in perfume varies A LOT, and she may absolutely not like what you've purchased for her, but feel obligated to wear it anyway. Every FSU woman I have ever met so far had a very distinctive perfume that she really liked. They are very peculiar about it. And some are less than happy about giving it up to wear what you brought them.
The fashion in Russia far from impressed. The average guy wore jeans and brown jacket as standard issue. They generally looked like the just finished a shift on the wharf. What the women dont dont like is dirt or any signs of wear. I had sent my girl a photo of myself at a beach cafe. I was wearing a grey tshirt and it apparently had a pin hole in the front of it. like who cares Im at the beach. She must have blown the photo up as if under microscope. When I was with her in Russia I was rumaging through my suitcase and she noticed a grey Tshirt, she almost launched herself at it and held it up to look for this almost invisable hole. Luckily it was a different shirt and no hole could be found.
I survived to live another day, but it certainly made the point to me that these girls dont want shabby.
I was in Yalta last November and it was cool in the mornings and evenings. The woman I was visiting usually had on a heavier coat most of the time. It did warm up nice during the day. I agree that you will need dress slacks and collar shirts, and yes youusually need to take your shoes off in homes. I think that jewelry is usually the best. The interpreter and my friend went on for a long time about a new bracelet that the interpreter just got. I would not give her perfume as my friend like someting that I never heard of here. My apartment had a bed, couch and TV, with a small kitchen. It had recently been remodeled as another apartment in the building was getting a make over.
Jeans are okay, but wear nice jeans. No patches/holes. And while your Wranglers will work in a pinch, I'd recommend buying a few pairs of some of the more stylish Levi's. It will impress her a little more than the standard denims. Bring some nicer clothes too in case you decide to catch a ballet or go to a nice restaurant. jetmba recommended khakis, but I would recommend sticking with darker clothes. I would go with earth tones. Leave the bright colors at home, you don't want to stick out. Also, leave the shorts at home. Nobody wears them. Dress up a little bit, but don't go nuts.
Leave the boots at home. Wear dark shoes, preferably black, and not athletic. Walking shoes are good. White shoes will stick out like a sore thumb, and as others have noted any smudges will drive your lady bonkers. Oh, and DO NOT put a shoe on your bed, even temporarily. Or at least don't do it with your lady in the room. Ask me how I know. :)
I agree with the perfume idea. If you can manage to somehow keep a small floral arrangement all in one piece on the plane, you would impress her to no end. But perfume is a close second. For what it's worth, I bought my lady a bottle of Chanel #5, and it came with a little sample of Chanel Allure. She wound up liking the Allure better, so later in the week I bought her a bottle of that. A lot of ladies like little stuffed animals too. My lady and I had a private little in-joke about Winnie the Pooh, so when I pulled a little stuffed Pooh out, it was an instant ice breaker.
If your lady arranged the apartment for you, have no worries. She will have inspected it from top to bottom, making sure it's fit for you. It may not have HBO and a wet bar, but it will be clean and comfortable.
I disagree with the poster who said not to depend on the lady for what to do. She is your hostess, and you can bet that she's put a lot of thought into your visit. Let her be your guide--she wants to be. Also, the hotel I stayed at offered outings to different places of interest. We took 3 different day trips and had a lot of fun. You might check to see if you can get anything like that.
Question the girl arranging apt for you, too many times finding amount higher than going rates. I don't know
how close whiskey is to girl but if it doesn't go good, a problem could arise. Better to book yourself.
Dress nicely as much as possible to still be comfortable. Girls mostly dress very nice, so nice slacks and dress shirts and nice sweaters. I did wear many thin nice sweaters and collarness. Fashion is collarless now(underarmor).
Nice necklace with heart always works(silver). Got a girl perfume last time and she AND her friends loved it. It was from clothing store my daughter works at( caters to teens-30's). Had a real cool pic design on outside. I told her it was very popular with girls where I live( the truth).
My 2 cents worth. Before I quit this fsu girl scene I scoured the internet, asked in other forums about hotels and private apartments in the Ukraine.
Private apartments in the Ukraine are the better and cheaper way to go, they are self contained with cooking facilities, washing machine and dryer for the longer stay and they are about half the price of the hotels, which in places like Kiev are ridicuosly expensive and way out of whack in proportion to what the real economy of the Ukraine is, for example in the US, you will pay less for a hotel room and it will be far better quality than Ukraine as a lot of hotels ( and some apartments too ) are over priced, unliveable crap!
Some of my learned colleagues in this forum who have been to Ukraine and used private apartments may be able to recommend a private apartment rental service you can use in which you can book and pay FOR YOUR OWN ARRANGEMENTS.
It is unwise, to let a lady you don't know or ever met in person, arrange an apartment for you...this is a popular type of scam in which a FSU lady finds a sub-standard apartment, sucks you into paying a ridiculous price for it and then on the quiet she receives a financial kickback or incentive from the landlord ( possibly a boyfriend or friend or agency kickback ) without you knowing while you are given unliveable, overpriced rubbish to rent there!
There are apartment websites where you can look into and get some prices.
Such as ukraineapartments.com ( may be a shoddy operation, seems to have some negative reports about them ), google search for "apartments in Ukraine" and do your research and check to see if there scam operations, you need to be careful as some sites may be very shoddy or scammy and its unwise to pay them with your credit card as credit card fraud is rife in the Ukraine, some rental sites do take a small upfront deposit of 10 or 20% to secure a booking and thats all you give them with the balance on arrival in there country and some apartment services in Ukraine have drivers and English speaking guides who will collect you from the airport and take you to your apartment and they have translators for hire as well.
These are private rental apartment services that are seperate businesses from marriage agencies, I would not use an apartment hire or accomodation service attached to a dating or marriage agency as they are often over priced.
DO NOT LET THE GIRL ARRANGE AN APARTMENT FOR YOU AND GIVE HER MONEY UPFRONT FOR IT BECAUSE ITS LIKELY YOU WILL NOT SEE IT AGAIN AND YOU WILL BE LEFT IN THE LURCH..FOOKED AND NO WHERE TO GO!
Take care and beware, have a good time there,get the girls to take there knickers off for you and go for it, trust your instincts, don't let the girl take you on a massive shopping spree at your expense...remember this is only like a first date and would you buy a girl a lap top computer or fur coat on the first date in your country?...keep a clear head and perspective on this and don't let the power of the pussy blind you!
And Beemer, Nasfan, and others..all men go overseas with the idea to meet women with the hope that the clothes will come off and the oats get sowed..if you are a good and decent guy and smart, you can charm your way into a sexy womans panties..theres rarely none of this Christian, bible bashing moral crap, I will not have sex with a lady before I marry her, we are like dogs on heat and we go in search of a good woman and sex..this is the nature of men!
Though I would still go with the heart pendant as a gift to bring along, but as steve1800 mentions above FSU women seem to LOVE bracelets. But that's something we shopped for together at the many souvenier shops in Yalta. They were cheap - maybe 20 to 25 grivna ($4 to $5), but they had shells, or little trinkets on them. She loved them (I think we bought three over the course of 11 days) and showed them off to other people all the time.
Shorts were acceptable on the hottest days in Yalta when the temperatures soared. I saw a lot of local and Russian men wearing them, but NEVER denim (oh, no). Always nice khakis. I only had one pair of shorts along so we went shopping for them. The shorts I brought were extended to just below the knee. I was a little surprised that all the men's shorts for sale in the market and at the local shops, extended to mid calf length. To ME they looked like lady's capri pants. So I didn't buy them. But on closer inspection - that was exactly what the local and Russian guys were wearing.
Dress nicely. Dont need suit and tie but collared shirt and dress pants. If you wear casual try to make it fashionable casual.
I usually get a vaiety box of perfume for a first meeting. She is bound to like at least one and can give those she doesnt like to mother or friends. Cosmetics of any kind are usually received well.
jet.....all younger guys wear those kind of shorts here..its the fad, been around for a few years now. It reminds me of the pro basketball players with their long'shorts'. I still have plenty of shorts that go to my knees. Wow..Jet
wearing shorts down to the mid calf....didn't you feel hip and cooool and much younger. I don't know if I would wear shorts down that low but I know you didn't have much of a choice...or did you????
Thanks everyone, I have some ideas now... So is the faded jeans look as popular over there as it is here? Drives me nuts. Who in their right mind would pay 100 dollars for a pair of paper thin jeans with holes in them just becuase they say 'Abercrombie & Fitch'
As far as the appartment being arranged, I checked the price she gave me (70) against online (said 60-80 is OK) , plus she did not mention money once. Actually, she never mentions wanting anything and dosen't bring up money ever.
What about those Italian charm bracelets, where it is a bunch of blank links, and when you get a new charm you pop a link out and slide the new on it, so it isn't all jingly like the old fashioned charm bracelets. I remember an ex going nuts over the one I got her becuase it had several horses jumping on it (we both ride jumpers.)
beemer - As I said in my post, I didn't actually BUY any of the shorts refered to. I thought they looked too much like lady's capri pants. But I must admit they also did remind me of basketball uniform shorts. I stuck with my just below the knee shorts which SOME other guys (though not many) were wearing.
ANother thing I noticed this time - I'm a swimmer so I have regular blue American style swim trunks. As most of us know, however that is not the dominat style in Europe where tiny speedo type shorts are worn. I have a apir but do not like them. It was gratifying THIS TIME to see more people actually wearing swim trunks like Americans wear than the speedos. When I was last in Moldova - I was the ONLY guy at the pool wearing American style swim trunks and consequently stuck out like a sore thumb.
WHISKEY - FORGET the paper thin jeans with the holes in them - no matter WHAT designer label is on them or how much you paid for them.
Whiskey, the bracelet sounds perfect. Sounds like you've got a great lady on the other end of the pond waiting for you too. I predict lots of fun. :)
Don't go with the pre-worn jeans. Everyone does wear jeans, but they tend to be in good repair. They also tend to be the "fancier" kind of jeans, rather than just the standard denim. You know the kind, they tend to be a much darker blue, usually have a vertical thread pattern running through them, etc.
But above all, don't sweat it. If your lady doesn't think you're dressed right, she'll take you shopping. =P
Well, if you guys are recommending fancy jeans...how about the dressy pointy shoes the guys wear there with their fancy jeans!!!
Sorry Jet, when you mentioned shopping for shorts, I figured you bought a pair of hip ones. You could have knocked off a few years just wearing cool shorts!!!!
"Well, if you guys are recommending fancy jeans...how about the dressy pointy shoes the guys wear there with their fancy jeans!!! "
Heh. :) The pointy shoes were pretty funny.
Well it was my experience that your average Russian guy dresses a lot like your average American guy, which is like a slob. It was funny because they tended to dress in a little bit nicer clothes, but they were always wrinkled or un-tucked or uncoordinated. My lady mentioned a couple times how much she appreciated how well dressed I was. So I was glad that I made a little bit of an effort to look nice. It definitely scored some points for me. And when she *really* gets to know me, I'm gonna need all the points I can get. :))
Beemer if you want to knock the years off you need to buy your jeans at least 6 sizes too big. Then wear them so low they are almost fallen off and you are walking on the cuffs. Thats a really kool look and I think the FSU is almost ready for it :)
For me, shorts are strickly for the beach and I buy them from the surf shop. Speedos and the like are for the Euros. I dont mind being different.
,
I lucked out on those pointy shoes they wear over there. I FOUND a pair here in the US at one of those strange bargain liquidation stores. Just one pair, one size (my size, 48) in beautiful leather, Italian branded. $25. I guess thay just couldn't sell them otherwise in the US so they eneded up there.
I keep them carefully boxed, in the neat fabric bags that came with them, when I am in the US (wouldn't wear them here if you PAID me). And they are always ready for my next trip.
Actually Ulmo you are right. Most guys do dress like average guy in US. I saw that more in St Pete's than in Kiev or Odessa thou. Didn't you know Ulmo, shirts were wrinkled from start...comes from factory that way!!