I have made a few posts here, so abit new. Has anyone here or do you know someone who has had success in the FSU finding someone under 38 who isn't in a rush to get married and have kids? or is this forum the "lets get married and start a family" forum only? Does everybody here want children? For me, been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I want a dedicated awesome one-to-one relationship.
I am 48 average looks, build, etc., looking for someone 28-38 age who is not a single mom already and or does not want more children. I get alot of responses to my profile, but most women don't read my "does not want kids" and write anyway- each beauty sways my thinking for a few moments even! My daughter is grown and successful, I don't want to raise more children but rather enjoy a dedicated and future life with a lady who is independent, ambituous, career or entrepreneur oriented and willing to travel/living the world. I am offering a lifestyle that few can match. I am finding plowing through all these websites this is really rare and difficult!
Not to be negative, but a realist.... Ultimately I am beginning to think it is going to be impossible to find someone who I would marry that does not have deep down in her heart to have children. This is anywhere including the U.S. Culturally, biologically, etc. I know the issues. Add to that she has to be attractive, educated, etc.
I will even arrange to pay a nice "finders fee" if someone puts me in touch with someone that I get involved with.
Penny....better off moving your range a bit higher to increase your chances. Although I do prefer a younger girl, in 20's and don't mind the child aspect, I am talking to a 38 yr old that has a daughter 18 and at that age most ladies( I think) don't want anymore kids. I don't know what age in FSU countries that women don't want to have kids anymore but a 33 yr old I am talking to tells me of how she is running out of time to have children. This is way different than in US where many women in their 40's have children.
If you wait 10 yrs there will be plenty of those 28-38 yr old girls you speak of available!!!!:)))))
Badpenny,
I found myself in a similar situation a few years back, I was 45 ish and looking for a lady, not too young and not too old, who didn't have kids already. I was/am open minded about kids, perhaps I may like 1, a maximum of 2, but definately no more than that, I've never been married previously and have no kids.
Well when I met my wife she was 27, a little bit below my minimum age 'looking for' but we hit it off straight away and after a few days together, and I can recall the conversation to this day, I asked her if she wanted kids. Her reply was 'of course' and when I asked how many she said 'three'.
Well my face must have turned a picture because she burst out laughing and for a long time thereafter it was in my mind that I needed to negotiate her down to one or two. Our relationship continued, then we had a split up, then we got back together and it was only after we got back together that she confessed that she's not particularly fussed about kids, she doesn't mind if she has kids or not and whilst she remains too busy with her work at this time to even think about it it does remain a topic open for mutual discussion.
Many of these ladies will profile that they want kids because in the FSU culture that is what they are, a cook and a baby making machine, and they believe that we are all looking, in particular, for baby making machines. You're going to, I feel, need to find yourself a lady and discuss such things over a dinner table rather than in correspondence, what they say in correspondence is merely the 'marketing' and not, perhaps, what they truly desire.
Beemer Thanks! I have been talking to one 38 yr babe with grown daughter, will visit her next trip. The biological clock thing ticks away and must really pressure women, along with parents wanting to be Grandparents, etc. Well I find it hard to believe that so many don't marry and would be around single for another 10 years! Once this Ukraine marriage movement starts to catch on in the U.S. (Will it?, wonder what the "growth rate" is for men signing up on fiance.com, etc. ) there might be nearly as much competition that we have in the states with women of beauty.
Martin, It's funny to hear "of course", this response I hear quite abit since I work with Russian immigrants and traveling, but hardly from anyone who speaks English natively. Hearing that almost has a defensive, harshness "Edge" to it- it feels like "what do you think am I an idiot?".
How many years have you been married? Glad your lady works. Didn't you mention you are living in Ukraine with a business too? An idle woman's mind is a terrible thing to have... been there done that spoiled GF not asking her to work for 4 years, she drove me nuts being around always.... working is mandatory for anyone to be with me from now on. Good point about the face to face, body language is the key to get the correct information. I have been saying good-bye after a few emails back and forth, once they say "of course" I want kids. Maybe I shouldn't??? It is just that deep down in their heart they know this what they want- at least that is what they express on paper. This time around, I am looking for as much "no compromising" in personality match. The more compromises, the less happy and true to yourself you will be.
Byologie Lessun 1: If a woman aged ~35 wants kids still she better hurry.
Now revisit your "someone under 38 who isn't in a rush to get married and have kids" because they - of course - ARE in a hurry. The fact that men remain fertile is in stark contrast to this, as is the perception of some that they still can father a kid at an advanced age.
Fathering takes 20+ years, gladly glossed over sometimes.
Badpenny,
Been married 2+ years, I live, for the time being anyway, in UK but intend to open an office and employ staff in UA as soon as I can, basically as soon as cashflow permits :)
She didn't say 'of course' with an attitude, she said it because she believed it was the expected answer.
Martin, I was just thinking and blabbering and meant nothing by "of course". Here in the states it is just rare to hear that. Yes, cashflow is a good thing or cash in the bank. We're feeling it with our current housing/mortgage crisis mess... retailers are slow too. Keep smilin' ;), at least the G/A factor will be a fraction of the UK I'd imagine.