this week has been a rough one...on the 20 Nov I received a letter from the beautiful young lady that I have been writing for one year (since Nov 06)...in this letter she stated that her mother had broken her leg and she would be out of work for two months, saying at that time
"I do not know as we shall live", hinting to me that she needed help, without specifically asking for help...I being rather thickheaded and tired at the time, did not pick up on the plea...the rest of the letters in the series were the usual bright and lovely responses she gives to me with humor and intelligence...I had a missed call on the 19 Nov with country code 380, she had previously sent me a phone number with format of 280xxxxxxxxx to I did not recognize it as ukraine and did not return the call...a few days later, I was thinking about the call and sent her an email regarding the correctness of the postal address and the phone number...I cut and pasted directly from the memo I had saved with that information, she answered that they were right (280 country code)...I gave the matter no more thought...I even tried the number and it did not go through of course, I looked up and corrected the country code and asked her to send me the correct phone number in another email on fiance.com...on the 22 Nov I received a letter from her stating that "that you same as well as all men. The beautiful toy, instead of real woman with its alarms", implying that I was merely seeking a trophy woman...her beauty was certainly a factor at the beginning of writing to her, but I soon learned to love her through her intelligence and humor and vivacious energy...so after a year, the first contremps had arisen, I was not sure of the source of this rancour...she was blowing me off, like a fly, so to speak ...there were 15 emails in that days series, mostly in response to several that I had previously written her, some said good luck, others said that I was the equivalent of a lying bastard ( in genteel terms only )...in the midst of all of this she sent the correct phone number to me, curious is it not, to send this while she was cutting me off and expressing anger towards me...I of course called the number the next night, she hung up the phone after saying hello...I called again immediately, she cut it off again...I rang a third time and the grandmother picked up and said she was not there, so I called no more that night...by this time of course, I had fully realized my faux pas, had emailed her regarding this and I received a response via fiance.com on the on the 23 Nov...
"Sometimes you make me very happy, but sometimes i really wonder if you care me at all..... i wrote you that i am having very
big problems. i am used to be independant, and NEVER ask nobody for help", and "and i for sure need help sometimes. i didnt want to ask you help, because i was very worry if you will think that i am trying
to cheat you or something other"
I, like totally "dude", believe her! She is a bright, honest, very intelligent and proud young woman, (very young), in university and she has bright prospects where ever she ends up living, her English is excellent, and I really respect her and love this virtual persona...
anyway, I sent 100 USD via western union and have offered to send more if I can afford it
...I called today spoke a few minutes regarding generalities and she asked me if I had news after she mentioned the sum of one hundred USD, nothing implied through timbre of voice apparently...the call then cut off, I called back and it rang and rang, 6-7 times and I tried no more...so now I call upon the experienced hands of the forum for insight into this Ukrainian girl and this situation...is she one of the slow and gentle scammers, wait a years time and then spring the family members injury upon you, classical scam, or is she genuine and I am thickheaded...I am aware of how many men find UA women to be very volitile in temperament, is this the case here? she is lonely and scared, her mom is out of work with injury, the breadwinner of the family, and so on...at least this is the scenario that I extract from multiple letters...so I do believe her and want to believe her and am trying to find my way through this morass...any help out there for me? I really need it...
Its been a year? When were you intending to meet? If you cant afford to go there then dont waste your time? If she is worth it go over there and sort out the issues. Then you will work it out because noone can tell you how genuine she is, you need to go to find out.
I have had no experience of scammers, but I find it a little strange that you have written to this lady for a whole year, developed such a friendship, and yet have not got out there and visited her to see if she is the real deal. Hell, a year is a long time.
She should not be asking you for money, but just perhaps, she is testing you to see if you are for real? A lot of guys who write are married or have no intentions of ever setting foot out of their country to visit these girls.
Why not offer to fly out to visit her and her mum to see how you can help? That way you would be able to ascertain if the situation was genuine. As you say, a year of writing is a lot of investment and commitment. Best wishes.
She is scamming you. This post sounds very familiar to what I went through with a girl from Ukraine in 2005. The two differences are that she started this scam AFTER I spent lots of money to visit her and she used the daughter in the hospital and I have lost my job at the same time scam. I would send her some money and instead of thanking me she would get angry and send me e-mails stating that I did not understand her.
By the way my girl was from Dnepropetrosvk.
DO NOT FALL FOR THIS!!
ha ha ha !!! the name came about as a joke among friends and has stuck for years now, it has no meaning, positive or negative, now it serves as a test of peoples reactions...I am moving to Ukraine around March of 2008 after finishing the TEFL credential, the idea is to teach english and support myself there while learning Russian and waiting for her to finish university...at least that was the plan until now...I will still move there about that time, but maybe now we will have nothing to do with each other...I don't have a clue at this point, I will have to wait and see...there are always more women to meet after I am there, though I do think that she is the best...cvw