So there's this one nice girl from elenasmodels whom I've been contacting through MSN. She seemed quite interesting and honest and I was really intrigued. So after chatting for four days I asked her if it would be okay for me to visit her country in the summer because I wanted to show her that I was serious about this. But she just went offline quickly and I haven't seen her again in almost 20 hours now. So that was my first experience with online dating with a FSU girl(well actually first online dating experience ever) and the lesson I learned was that I should not have rushed things. But now my question for you guys is: after initial contact with a girl, how long should I wait to ask to visit her? Would a couple of months be legitimate? Also for this particular girl should I write to her and apologize or should I just let it go and move on? Please help me!
Taylor there are probably more questions here than answers.
First 20 hours is not a long time to be without communication. Internet can go out for days there, The woman could be busy, she could have had a dishonest plan that your visit would mess up. So it is difficult to form a conclusion from that action alone. Assuming she is a good woman I would think that the time necessary before a visit would be the time it takes you to demonstrate you are of the quality of man she can trust. To meet a stranger off of the internet as you well know is not a completely safe venture. Depending on her experience and the information she has heard as well as her individual makeup the required time could vary greatly.
If she was serious in the first place she would not run because you want to visit her. If she was scared of it she would let you know not just disappear.
I don't think you screwed up. Meeting online is usually followed by meeting in person some time or other. It just becomes a matter of timing.
I'd give her a little while longer, if she doesn't turn up move on. See it as her loss and forget about it.
20 hours?????? You haven't heard from her in that long and you are upset? Thats not even a whole DAY.
No offense, but I'm guessing you fall in love (become infatuated with) women WAY too fast. (I would even venture to guess it happens OFF line as well as on).
Please remember that these women who write to you might mean 1/10th as much as they say. If they profess "love" for you in the first couple of letters - you have to KNOW they've done the same to a hundred other guys.
The more notorious letter writing women from the FSU (that we ASSUME always are women) will easily write you the must poiniant and heart-touching words that you have ever had directed to you. We look at their beautiful pictures and istantly we fall head-over-heels (or so they hope) for them.
Nooga, in another thread, believes everything he's read as well.
There are MANY women out there - at least wait until you MEET them before you fall in love with them. (And maybe a good while after that.)
WHATEVER you read from a lady with an online profile - take it with a grain of salt - if it sounds too good to be true it probably is - believe 1/10th of it. It weill save you from getting hurt.
Ahhh sorry yall I made the verdict too early and I guess I didn't really screw it up. I saw her online again but I was too busy to talk to her then. So I'll try to talk to her tomorrow to find out what she thinks.
And jetmba I guess you are both right and wrong. I do have a tendency to fall for girls quickly but this time it's different. I DID get letter from other girls who are even better looking than this girl and whose words are "poignant and heart-touching" like you mentioned. But I thought they were either scammers or gold-diggers and basically just ignored them. This girl though didn't even write any letter to me. I contacted her first and gave her my MSN ID. Then we just had some casual chat and I found out that we had quite a few things in common and I really liked her uplifting persona. But neither of us mentioned anything about "love" or "relationship" yet. When I said I'd like to visit her, I told her that the purpose is to meet in real life and to see how we feel about each other. So yeah, I'll def. take your words and wait until I meet the girl in person to decide if I shall fall in love!
Taylor.....after 4 days of chatting, you decided to ask her for a visit this summer??? Sometimes it takes some time to get to know girl..what her real intentions are. It is a long time before summer, a lot can happen. Give it a couple months before you decide to dive in, remember this is a process.
Do you think she is only talking you??
Taylor, remember you relationship with this girl is two way, you first have to make sure that she is not a scammer, this can only be done over a period of time and even then is not fool proof, try to get to a stage where you a regulaly texting each other and making the odd phone call, the more time she invests in you, the less likely she is a scammer.
What ever you do, don't make all the commitment yourself, i.e book the flights and Hotel and lavish dinners and gifts on her, many men do this and get nothing in return (and they don't deserve anything) it is a commitment for her too if she has interest in you, see what she is willing to do for your meeting. Good luck
I'm not a pro at this, no-one is but i'd like to think I say quite comfortable that I am more experienced than any other people with the FSU women on these forums.
Now, I think what you've done already, you should be applauded for... I told my woman first letter, that I would be coming to her city in summer. She was all keen for it. THEY ARE MOST KEEN TO SEE YOU IN PERSON ALL TIMES, rather than just to talk to you in emails.
When I said that nooga had only shown himdelf to be a wet-behind-the-ears newbie. He was boisterous as really young men can be when they are trying to impress others, but hadn't yet proven that he was a complete moron.
He has proven that now.
I STILL can't wait for him to come back and claim that he was taken advantage of. I can hear it now "They LIED to me. They claimed they loved me and would buy food and take care of me but they DIDN'T! BAWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!" And "All they want is an Ooglie Booglie (Australian slang) with MONEY!!!!"
THAT part I still can't wait for. Because he's recieved a few letters and is now the self-declared "most experienced" guy here!
Actually nooga has a version of the same ridiculous notion that some older guys have. You know, the 65 year old, beer belly, balding guys who write to a few 18 year old girls (who claim to be open to a relationship with a man from any age (which come to think of it is exactly what nooga's girl told him, he wrote)). They invariably go to Ukraine - convinced that they are going to meet these drop-dead gorgeous girls, because they've been led to believe that they will. And they invariably leave broke and broken, complaining that they have been taken.
We've had guys like that write to us in this very forum. Somehow they think that because they offer potential citizenship in another country (the SAVIOR idea) or because the girl wrote sweet letters - that the women of Ukraine will literally fall at their feet and beg to be with them.
It NEVER happens that way. But that is EXACTLY the same sort of idea that nooga has. The girls of his country don't like him so Ukainian ones will be desperate for him.
He is in for the exact same FALL!
But he also has another factor - the ingorance of youth. That is a very special and profound sort of ignorance. And it isn't ogin to make things any easier.
You are right...nooga has same notion as losers on other end of scale(60+) people with nothing going for themselves but a fantasy!!!
I still think his first 2 posts said all that was needed, I don't remember anyone so brash..just look at title of his thread.
I'm just cracking up at the adolecent naivity of this one individual, in one respect he's just out to wind everybody up but in the other respect he really thinks he knows it all and he's got it 'cracked'.
Can someone inform Qantas to have a 'bodybag' prepared for his return from the Ukraine and let Qantas know also that it will be OK to overbook by 1 seat in the cabin, nooga shall be travelling in the hold ..... if he makes it at all :)
Hey, I for one, hope that nooga makes it back alive... or at least that who ever does him in leaves his video camera - and that his next of kin will get it and will somehow decide to post it on the internet with a link to this forum.
I just want to see the video,- it will be very funny.