Hello it's me again Mich,as i am new here i tried to read those previous topic that you guy's has been posted they are quiet interesting!!
I have read some topic by meeting a girl and i realized that this is not all about seriousness what i mean is when the guys will met their perspective ladies traveling across the miles is not a joke so now i understand some of guys that when they decided to traveled half world to meet the ladies it was not only the lady that they are going to meet they have some (they called
}as "back up"lol:)well i don't judge you guys i understand it was soo expensive to traveled to meet your lady..BUT at the end will find out you don't like each other i understand now that need a back up::)
I am just curious to know those guys who traveled and met their lady "if you have plan to meet more ladies to make sure that the trip will worth in case you don't like each other would you prefer to tell your lady about"back up?"it means that you have to meet some ladies this trip in case you guys don't work".OR CHOICE THE BEST":P.
I am curious as i didn't experience it personally,WHEN My fiancee make a trip to see me after our exact one month of talking on the net we met in person i am just truly glad that he doesn't need to have back ups lol.or make any trip locally and says he has business to do or something which is most alibi of guys isn't it?:)i just feel glad cause i know i am just the one he intend to met that trip,we are together since the moment he arrived in the airport till the 21 days vacation over and his departure back home.Maybe he just trust what he feels about before making the trip:)
WELL i know that it was hard to your part as you spent too much to make that trip to meet a right person i understand now about having some more back up in case it doesn't work but i am just curious what might the lady react when you tell her about it or if you prefer to not tell her about it?would you tell the girl that she is not just the lady you wanted to meet with this trip?hmmm just curious to know... I appreciated any feed back guys and personal experience that you gonna share to me thanks takeacre always and have a beautiful day everybody!!!
I guess it varies. Personally I do one lady per trip, no backups. But then I have the luxury of living in the UK within drivable distance of London so the likes of Kiev and Moscow are 7ish hours total travel time from my doorstep and its cheap too -less than 300UKP a trip flights. I can make it a long weekend and so not miss too much work.
For those further a field like in the US the tradeoff would be different.
Of course it makes a lady feel more special if shes the only one but ... what if she doesnt the guy ?? would put more pressure on her to pretent to like him (not a problem I have since I'm so handsome :-) )
This is an interesting post Mich. There are two schools of thought here. Those of us that go to meet one lady and those who have backups.
I have never tried to date more than one woman at a time and now I am here to meet only one woman if that does not work I can meet more while I am here but first I will put all of my efforts into that relationship. It would really be interesting to see the statistics of the success ratio of each side.
I met my former fiance at a Romance Social four years ago. We spent a total of six days together, first accompanied by her best friend (who had traveled with her from Kishinev to Odessa) and then with her mother. We planned to see each other again in April of that year, for three weeks. But JUST IN CASE things hadn't worked out - I had a back-up plan. Several in fact.
During the first trip back things DIDN'T go very well - and to be honest she seemed to act as if she had me over a barrel. Her attitude was "You're here with me in MY country now - you'll do what I want." At that I TOLD her that she could get out of my place. I told her that I had someone else I could see.
She seemed quite suprised - but as it was things went better between us afterward.
We saw each other several more times in Moldova before I brought her back to the US on a fiance visa. Unfortuantely things didn't work out right and we parted, though I still think very highly of her.
Unless we want to do a lot of sightseeing, or stare at the walls of our hotel room for three weeks, or HOPE to quickly find a marriage agency - its a SMART move to have a back-up plan.
It might not sound romantic - but until you get to really know someone, its hard to tell what will be.
There are HORROR stories of people being exactly opposite of what they seemed to be in letters. There are horror stories of other people (the mother for example) writing letters for the ladies, or an agency writes the responses. In those cases the lady barely knows who you are! Should you be obligated to stay with her for three weeks? Should you just sit and stare at the walls as I mentioned.
Its a fact of life - a back-up plan for a first meeting is a good move.
I try to get my ladies to form an orderly queue. It's not always easy, hence my back-up consists of a couple of minders to keep them in line.
It's not the way most men do this but then I'm not most men.
My charm and charisma are telegraphed long before the actual meet and when my gals see me in the flesh it can become a bit of a free for all.
I usually end up with the best fighter.
hello guys above:
IT was nice to hear about your side guys I apreciate that you take time to reply thank soo much.
yea That is soo great idea that you have to know first the girl before you commit in a relationship and see her.That was great!when you met her you have much confident that you guys will work out as you know her already.thanks for leaving a reply of my post taylor stay good!
hello jet,i agree with you about the idea of having a back ups upon meeting the lady as you traveled half word to met her and it will end up disliking each other after meting in personal.But i hardly hear that after meting in person they find out not liking is other or love each other but i know it also happened.I understand you guys about that decisions.each of you ideas is too great!
HI KIRK,will yea i get your point its not easy having a back ups upon meting i think.as what if you like the first lady you met and those ladies back up expecting you also to come and met them it seems complicated,Not unless the lady understand your feelings about it.
ANYWAY THANK YOU SOO MUCH GUYS ITS NICE TO HEAR your sides! takecare everybody and may you have a nice day ahead!
Taylor Swift: The tone of your comment seems to speak to the hypothetical.
"...but I WOULD make sure I know a girl well before I commit to a relationship."
My question - How do you get to know her WELL, without having met her in person? Phone calls and letters? You would be amazed how often a person shows up very different than the impression that they gave in phone calls and letter.
And how is a two or three week visit "commiting to a relationship"?
There is a lot more to a relationship than just a tally of time and two or three weeks doesn't promise either party ANYTHING.
Again though, you seem to speak hypotheically. Please refresh my memory. Have you traveled and met a lady yet (I really can't recall) or you just talking about how you think things WOULD be?
Michavie....I see your point of wanting to be only girl guy comes to meet but look at it from a guys point of view.
To spend $3-$4 thousand dollars on a trip to see girl that he has been writing to for a short time??? If it doesn't work out which is probably more normal, what is guy to do??? It takes a personal meeting to know if there is chemistry and if there is interest. I learned on my first trip not to see only one girl. Besides, how do you know how you feel toward a girl from FSU if you cannot compare to something else? Just my thoughts!!!
Of course I will not tell about my own dates. But I will tell of my experience here in Ukraine without a backup. The lady I was writing to was a very nice lady but after the 3rd date told that she did not have the time to meet and we ended the relationship as friends Friday night.
The agency opened Saturday at noon. I walked in with 10 individually wrapped roses ($2 us each) and a list of 5 names I was interested in asking for a Saturday night meeting. Now I will mention I have been here 3 times before and the ladies in the agency know how I treat them and how I treat the ladies. I gave a flower to each of the ladies working and left the remainder for them to give to ladies that walked in or whatever they wanted to do with them.
Of the 5 I picked none were free for Sat night. I ask the manager if she had some ladies she would recomend that were serious. She thought a while and pulled up 5 profiles. I selected 2 and 1 was available to meet Sat Night. Lady number 2 and I met with an Interpreter the first night and after that without one. I spoke Russian, she spoke English because both of us could talk more than we could understand hearing.
I am sure we will all disagree on the wisest way to use our time in this respect but that is my view. The main thing is that if one does not work out do not sulk just go find another.
When the agency opened back up on Monday I spoke with them and they told me they had a meeting scheduled with lady number 3 one of the ladies from my list of 5 at 5 that evening. I told them I did not need another meeting now because I was at this point happy with lady number 2. They told me you paid for 2 meetings and this lady is coming at 5 will you meet her. I said yes.
Lady number 3 and I met and went to a cafe and talked. I explained to her that I had set the meeting up on Saturday and since then I had met lady number 2 and did not feel comfortable dating two ladies at the same time. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. When we parted I for date number 3 with lady number 2 and her back to work she told me I think we will meet again. I also explained the meeting with lady number 3 to lady number 2.
Land...got me a little confused there, maybe better to use alphabet. Still not sure which girl is which!!!
Best to just be with a girl...I have always felt that things happen for a reason, best not to question it but go on and see where things fall into place!!!! Be in Ukraine soon..but you are far from my city!!! Good Luck!!!
Everytime I have EVER traveled to meet a lady - I have ALWAYS known her before having met her at a Romance Social.
(I have NEVER traveled to meet a woman I was simply writing to. Twice I traveled to the FSU to attend Romance Socials. A third time I went with NOBODY set up in advance (I felt I would meet them in person rather than to write tham - THAT didn't turn out so well at first.))
But even having known these women with brief dates at Romance Socials, on second meetings I always brought backup information - meaning that I wrote to a few women just beofre my trip, indicating that I would be in the area and hoped to meet them. I gathered telephone numbers and contact information - just in case I ws horribly WRONG about the lady I had met at the Romance Social. So far I have never had to USE any of my backup plans. Though I came close one time.)
But my experience in Latvia - where I went to the country without knowing a SOUL and expected to meet someone easily - proved to me that sitting alone in a foreign land is NO FUN. I always advise a backup.
I would actually advise AGAINST buying a lot of individually wrapped red roses.
Reason - Roses actually MEAN something to the women of the FSU especially when given buy a man. Just giving them out willy-nilly doesn't seem to indicte that you are serious about a special girl. Just that you are looking for ANY girl.
I would save the roses until actually having MET a girl and feeling very special about her.
Lady number 1 was the one I originally came to meet. Lady number 2 I met on Saturday night and have spent every evening since then with. Lady number 3 I met on Monday night before my date with lady number 2.
Jet the roses were half white (5) meaning charm as well as other meanings and the other half were orange meaning Enthusiasm,. I did not pass them out to ladies I wanted to meet. I gave them to the ladies working in the agency for PR. and the extras I left there for them to do with as they pleased or give to walk ins.
I enjoy giving little things that bring a smile but it sure chaps my butt when restaurant adds 50 Hrevna to the bill because I pay with a 500 Hrevna bill.
maybe things are easier for me... i have been phoning a girl from kiev since last july, every day or so, for an hour or each day. i am going there in a few weeks just to meet her. i am also in contact with a few girls from st petersburg but i can see things really working out with me and olya in kiev. even if they don't i will be moving there in a few months anyway. /pete