MY FAMILY SEEMS TAKING ADVANTAGES OF MY FOREIGN FIANCEE WHICH I HATE!!1st page

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Russian brides > Main Forum > MY FAMILY SEEMS TAKING ADVANTAGES OF MY FOREIGN FIANCEE WHICH I HATE!!1st page

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michelle

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	Send: 4/3/2008 3:56:32 PM

Hi everyone,i just joined this site i found this when i search for a foreign relationship furom. I am Hoping that i could get a helful advice/opinion/idea with this kind of situation i do have with my family.I Hope anybody can relate this kind of situation as this really bothers me soo much.Any help is highly appreciated..Here is my story below. I MET a guy somewhere in USA,WE MEET in person and also my family met him already too.But since i have this relationship my problem with my family began which i hate.BEFORE I meet this man i work before as a branch manager in a department store.it seems quiet better cause my family doesn't depend on me 100%let me say maybe 80 to 85%my father is a driver and my mom live apart as they are separated,we are 8 in the family and i have 5 younger than me. SINCE THEY meet also my fiance, and they know he is a foreigner,my problem with them started they began to depend me soo much which i really don't like and i feel bad about their attitudes.just last Christmas we spent time here and he bought gifts to everyone even my sister in law.But some of my family specially my eldest brother and my sister in law seems greedy.they tell me that"ask him to buy a motor bike, so that we can have something to used!so i react i said to them why should i ask him to get something which i don't really need? my father says you need to save money so that even you will be far apart you wont be a loser!i feel soo bad about this to have such family like this. before when i have work i used some of my money to renovate our house for the young ones and my father,.My sister in law was a real bitch,the first thing i renovate it because theres no rooms as they used to sleep all together when i am working away.So when i have leave my work and back home i tell my brother that i want to renovate the house and make a room so that we can have something to sleep with or privacy.I HIRED Two people do it when its all done i paint it by myself i do it whole night painting the room with the color i want.i decorate and made it a nice room,But i didn't know that my sister in law wanted to own that.when everything done they i heard that my sister in law and brother wanted to move my father lived with his girl friend already so the decision is with me and my brother. I am thinking why they wanted to moved and need to rent a place if i renovate the house for us?but i found out that it was their drama so that i will feel guilty and be the one to move and rent a place so that they will occupy the house and the room which i work too much for it. ONE DAY my father is mad at me as why i let my brother and sister rent a place while i am living our place?soo i feel they made me feel guilty.but i dont want to fight such things because i dont want they will think i am a bad daughter and sister to them.AT that time i look for a place to live and it doesn't took soo long for me to find one.my anger to them began as they take advantages of me.They keep also barrowing me money but they never ever know the word"pay"they owe me too much i didn't though ask them to pay as i know they don't have much. sorry guess i need to make three post i couldn't able to post in just once error hope you take time to read in the next pages THANKS

jetmba.

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	Send: 4/3/2008 7:08:54 PM

I must admit that I took offense when my first lady (from Moldova) didn't want me to meet much of her family. I was ESPECIALLY offended when I went there to be with her ON her birthday - and there was a small family get-together of celebration which she asked me NOT to attend. So here I am on my girl's birthday - ALONE in my hotel room for 90 minutes or so in the evening while she runs across town to be with them. To be honest - it nearly broke us up - and I told her so - until she explained that if everybody KNEW she had an American boyfriend everyone in the family would be expecting gifts and a handout. She was afraid that BOTH of us would be taken advantage of. Later as I heard stories of how the family operated - how anyone coming into money was expected to share - how resentful memebers were when a family member working abroad didn't send money to EVERYBODY (individually) in the family. I know now that she had good reason to do what she did. ANd save for the 90 minutes I wasn't with her on her birthday - I had her for 24 hours a day during that three weeks. It was great.

michelle

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	Send: 4/3/2008 8:16:35 PM

econd page thanks: I live alone and my young sister and two brothers spent time in the apartment every week end as i am far away from their school so they lived our house during school days. Now i have my fiance and my family problem seems getting bigger,i leave my work as i was their hospitalized for 5 days being an over fatigue.And DR.advice me to rest for awhile.my fiance who pay my rent and other bills such as internet and electricity also with foods.even though he is happily to support me i feel it was not right i am trying to get a good job again.Now it was a vacation my two brothers and my sister with me only my sister in law and my brother live the house i renovate for everybody and bad thing i don't have work and my father doesn't give me a single centS to support the young ones even the foods i feel unlucky to have such irresponsible parents:(one day my sister in law and my brother come over to barrow money again but this time i didn't give them i explain to them that i don't have any money extra for them as they know i didn't work anymore,that happened that my sister in law make a lots of bad stories against me to our neighbor and brainwash the young ones which i feel they didn't appreciate everything i did to them before. I feel so ashamed with my fiancee as he is the one who support me and even though he didn't mind that the young ones living with me., I feel soo bad and ashamed i don't want he will think i take advantages of him.Sometimes i have nobody to talk about this deep problem i have. even though since before we start our relationship he knew my situations and my family situations.I talk my family i explain to them that it was not my fiance'S responsibility by supporting me and all of the family,i talk to everybody that i don't want that they will think taking advantages of my fiancee as he is foreigner i deeply hate how they act.Some times my fiance several times my fiance offering extra money for me and to buy some gifts for my family i refused it.AS he help me already too much,i tell him what i feel i honestly don't want money get involved with our relationship.I tell him that helping me with the rent and the extra bill i appreciated it so much as i don't have yet a job for now.I EXPLAIN HIM that "i tell him also that it was not your responsibility supporting my family because you wanted to marry me,..I appreciate if you give some gifts To them but you don't really need to do that to win me.i appreciate everything you did." HE offers me a lot of things which i refused such as buying an A/C Of my room cause as summer here too hot.But i refused it i just let him help me with the first needed.and about also i wanted my family know that they need to stand with their own they don't have to depend with me for the whole life as we have individual lives that we need also to take care of.but sometimes they mis understand me since i explain to them i hate the idea that they will take advantages of my fiance and depend me too much. ONE more thing they don't know how o appreciate you or say"thank you".i feel hurt because they count only the thing bad without counting the hundreds of good things i did to them.now even the small ones my younger sis and bro talking bad thing against me as they are influence by my sister in law i honestly sometimes regret doing too much good to them and they never appreciate me.they says that i am not the Michelle they used to know before now, i have a fiancee foreigner.. They think i am acting difference while i am just trying to explain to them the right thing i just don't want they will think they can depend me whole life i wanted them to be independent but seems they misunderstand me which i don't like.I feel soo defeated and nobody to talk to sometimes i feel i wanted to go somewhere and alone to refresh my mind. I WANTED to ask some advice what should i do to make my family understand?i already explain them.It was not that i act different because i have a foreigner it was just i explain to them that things are different now that i don't have work than before,and i explain to them that i hate when i feel they seems take advantage of my fiance.they don't understand me when i tell them that was not his responsibility taking care all of my family but they seems really not willing to understand it. ONE MORE THING,they knew that i loved him dearly and i heard my sister in law wanted to find any contact of my fiance and make a stories against me so that we will broke up!as she get mad i dont let them owe me money anymore!i find they are not happy seeing me happy:(they are mad that i don't let them act bad against him such as taking advantages of him.Will anyway i already tell him about that an he laugh what my sister wanted to do to separate us. By the way i really don't have idea now what should i do to make my family understand me?actually i know it was not also 100%my responsibility to take care this young ones as my parents are both alive.they don't take thiner responsibility as they turn it to me.i tried to make them prepared that i am not here for them whole life.as also i have my own life and own family to take care of.anyone here know what the best thing i should do?please help me guys i feel soo sad really about this. Is going to somewhere away with my family now like taking days vacation to province would be a great idea to refresh my mind and recover such pain?ALSO is telling my fiancee about what i feel for my family make him turn off?here i dont have nobody to talk as my problem is with my family i have friends but they are way too far,and working.any help advice i could get here are highly apreciated as i read the previous post seems a lot of good adviser here.thanks a lot take acre always i am sorry i made this long post i hope you wont find hard to give me any advice thank you takecare always!!!God bless y

Russian brides > Main Forum > MY FAMILY SEEMS TAKING ADVANTAGES OF MY FOREIGN FIANCEE WHICH I HATE!!1st page