Hi all you out there. I'm only 3 months on this site, so I'm rather new to this.
I'm a 33 year old Belgian and naturally looking for a Ukrainian bride.
For about two months I have been communication with this one girl. She is 30 years old and lives in Mariupol.
So far all went well, she has not asked for anything yet and has given me her phone number and adress.
Three weeks ago I send her a small package including a throw-away camera since she hasn't send me any pictures from her so far. The package still hasn't arrived according to her, which is rather odd it's already three weeks.
I have tried to call her on the phone but wasn't able to make contact. After a few moments of ringing the connection was simply broken. In a letter she told me that her phone was on silent tone and she was unable to send me an sms back.
This week I had her adress verified and it turned out ok. I then decide to send her flowers and have her picture taken. I really wanted to know if she looks like the woman in her profile. She accepted the flowers but refused to have the picture taken.
Later she send me an sms to thank me for the flowers. The message was written in English. As far as I know she doesn't speak any English and she wasn't able to send me messages.
I send her an sms back but didn't get any reply so far.
I also asked her to have contact with webcam in a cybercafe. She suggested to use the services of her agency to do this. The e-mail adress from the agency is firstname.lastname@example.org. I have send them an e-mail but got no reply so far.
I think it's obvious that she is lying about something but why and about what? She has not asked for anything so she is not after money. I have been honest with her all the way and was planning to travel and meet with her in July. I wasn't planning on seeing other women because I have sincere intentions and don't believe in having a back-up.
Obviously I'm very confused. Is there a way to find out if she is for real? Can I find somebody in Mariupol who could take her picture and send it to me. I want to find out what is wrong because I had a real good feeling about her.
it sounds very suspicious. she has phone, she shoudl be able to say HI to you. where did you find her, which web site. if she is from fiance.com send email to support. at the same time she may be afraid talking to you if she doesn;t speak Englihs. try to call her with the interpreter. hwo did you send the camnera. if it was express mail the should have delivery confimration.
I've sent four parcels to Ukraine from the US myself, always by post. Two of them I sent using my own plain brown cardboard boxes. They were both held up in Kiev and items were confiscated.
Surprisingly though, the two parcels I sent in US Postal Service official Flat Rate Priority boxes - were completely bypassed by customs and allowed on through to my lady's house unopened and unchecked. Was I just lucky with thouse two boxes - or does the "official look" to them suggest that they should be allowed to pass through without concern.
I should also mention that my Ukrainian lady has sent ME three parcels herself - always as a surprise. I always tell her that I am sending a parcel - but she likes to absolutely surprise me. I find that to be very pleasant.
Regarding the camera - I did send one to my lady as well, not disposable however. Having had things confiscated - I have taken to being a little more tricky. I bought a 2 bar pack of Caress soap and carefully opened on the boxes, replacing the bar of soap with the camera (wrapped in paper toweling to make it quieter). Then I reglued the soap box.
If you DO send anything of value - as Martin says above, you have to watch for the corruption of the postal service and guard against thievery. It is certainly better to conceal anything valuable if you can.
If you send anything of value then insure it. Insurance only costs $3 a hundred. They say it takes 60 days to investigate. I have not had an insured parcel lost but they are supposed to pay shipping and purchase price of contents. I filed one claim but it mysteriously showed up almost immediately after filing the claim.
They put letters & parcels, quite often, through x-ray machines so disguising a camera as soap might have been more luck than judgement. In the main they are x-raying for money, the foil strips inside monetary notes show up a treat on x-ray machines.
I live in East Ukraine; past four years, I ve sent dozens of packages to the US, for gifts, holidays, etc. and I have had many packages sent to me, and never has a package been opened or messed with in anyway, and all have been delived in a timely manner. I am not saying it doesn't happen, but it has never happened to me.
Thanks to all for your reply.
It's not so much the parcel that interests me, no great value in there.
I'm more worried about her being sincere.
This weekend she gave me her e-mail adress on sms. She also agreed to have contact thru webcam this week. I'll wait for that.
Olga, I found her on fiance.com. She should not be afraid to pick up her phone as we agreed my friend would do the translation, he's from Georgia (ex-USSR) and speaks fluent Russian.
Anyway, my trip to Ukraine in July is on hold. I hope things will work out because she is really my kind of woman and I'm very serious about it.
"She has not asked for anything so she is not after money."
The days when scammers would be so blatant as to make outright demands for money in early correspondence are long gone. This is for several reasons: they know it rings alarm bells with all but the most stupid and gullable, and they know they will get themselves banned from most agencies if they try (remember that agencies are a scammers lifeblood).
Modern scammers are far more cunning and patient - they will write for months and never even hint that they need money, they will meet you and coax you ever so subtly into buying gifts ans spending money on them. They will let you visit them several times, or go go on holidays, they will let the "relationship" develop for months before they come out some inventive scenario like "I am a little sad because my girlfriends are all going to on holiday to the crimea and I cannot go myself because I recently needed to pay for <whatever>".
What you describe is a player not a scammer. Scammers usually get the cash sent without you ever meeting them.
A player likes to have a foreign boyfriend who will visit a few times a year, buy some stuff for her, maybe even leave some cash until next time.
Maybe you are right about scammers being long gone. I haven't seen many around for a while but that's because they are so easy to spot now if you know what the tell tales signs are.
I reckon they are still out there tho, just the same as there are still plenty of gullible men around. The law of supply and demand works everywhee.
Oldies> Unfortunately you found the wrong girl and agency. It is not proper for the girl to refuse a photo, because the agency normally contacts the girl and charges more for personal delivery to her apartment. You should try for another girl (a couple of them). Your young at 33, so a girl of 18 is interested in you because of your age. Although looks are very important to a pretty girl, but she can overlook this if you are nice, charming and have a lot of money. If you aren't attractive, maybe overweight and not so charming, it's going to be a little more difficult.
If your near Brussels, just go to Conways on a Friday night. Tons of beautiful single Belgium girls there. I know. ;) Fun Fun times... Never seen a bar where everyone dances on the tables and bar counter before that place. ;)
I am starting to have doubts about going to Ukraine now. I have been corresponding with a lady for about six months but seems pretty genuine. How does anyone know if they are playing you? Its a shame to go there with high expectations and then be dissappointed. Of all the girls i have written to only two have sent me actual photos of themselves. Could these two be the genuine ones?
I have been writing to one in Simferopol. I hope this is not like the movie HOSTEL? Has anybody been to Simferopol? She wants to find me an apartment but i want to go to a hotel because i think it might be safer. Does anyone have any suggestions?
This is my first time that i am going to Ukraine and i am a little dubious about it all. Especially after reading all the stories that people are writing here. Is it because they are not allowed into the hotels?
Could the lady i want to meet really be serious about wanting to have a better life elsewhere?
I do hope it does work out for me but i would hate it even more if i am going to get ripped off. All feedback would be great.
Drseymour> Its good to be cautions, its foolish to give up without a try. Its a very good sign of someone giving you real (non-glamour) pics. Expectations are the mind-killer, re-evaluate what your expecting (sex, marriage, friendship) and put worst case scenarios in your head and you'll be close to target.
Lots of genuine girls there, but there are bad apples too. A good game player is not obvious. If she's a looker, it doesn't mean she's a hooker. ;)
I answered the hotel/apartment in your other post. Let your girl select you an apartment. If she's really interested in you, she'll chose one she likes. You can have women in your hotel, but a girl might think she comes across as a prostitute and its not a good thing to have her feel this way. That's why apartments are so popular with the girls... hookers do the hotel thing...
Tell her you're a big boy and can find your own hotel room. This might even impress her and at the same time you're being cautious and she won't know it.
These girls don't like men who are so cautious as to be timid to do things for themselves when abroad.
She doesn't see her country as an intimidating place to be and neither should you. This is her home remember; she feel feel a little insulted if you come across as a frightened rabbit.
If she is genuine then she will make you feel at ease and very secure. If not, you have your hotel room to bolt back to.
If things look good, then you can think about that apartment she's talking about.
Girls don't like hotels simply because as apal1 said above...they're for hookers.
If you go thro Kiev to get to Simperofol expect the taxi drivers there again but on a lesser scale. The arrivals empty out into the car park and you might be hanging around a bit looking for her especially it its dark. If you haven't got a really good idea of what she looks like now would be the time to get some decent photos.