Quote: "Studying these posts, I realize Dun got a little hot under the collar because he wasn't asked for ANY advice."
Did you also notice I didn't go trying to push my view down someones throat? I simply pointed out the flaws in your inexperienced and clueless advice which set you off on a 3 day hissy fit. Beleive me, if you are to spend any time with a RW or UW, you'll find them much more in your face than any forum posts, so if you react so quickly here, perhaps you might consider some anger management training before tyring again, that is, if you can afford it.
Apal...to clear this up....I brought up scammers because they are more likely to talk about money,
I did not bring up your thing about odessa.
You simply talk a lot about finances in regard to girls..ie. one of your first questions to girls is if they are looking for rich man....
As far as competition, your advice to another poster here was to go to smaller cities...maybe that is what you are doing...is it? If a girl I am interested in lives in big city... so be it. I guess one of few points we agree is age is of little consequence.
Beemer: In some cases the best will come from the bigger cities and in some cases the best will come from the smaller cities. What I find strange is advice to write several first to discover coupled with advice to go to the smaller cities. You write, you find someone nice from a big city but still pass her by to follow your plan of visiting the smaller cities. The logic escapes me.
I also find general condemnation of one group based on nothing to be absurd. There is one point which can lean in favour of the major cities and that is the women will more often have been exposed to foreigners and as such perhaps be better equipped for life in another country. By no means universal, but a consideration. An argument often put forward in favour of the smaller cities is that women from such will more easily adapt to smaller cities in another country. I was originally a subscriber to that theory also, but I blew it to pieces with my wife. Big city girl turned small city wife in another country and doing a damned fine job of it too.
Age gaps are of little consequence in the dating stages because it is all good fun, but I can assure you, when you get down to the business end of a developing international relationship, ie; preparing for marriage and a full on life together it is nowhere near as simple as some imagine, particularly with Slavic women who are notoriously head strong. Sharing that life together, including an age gap can at times be even more difficult. No amount of charm or self opinionated thinking will bridge the actual gaps which exist. It requires tremendous strength on both sides to cut compromises which are not normally enforced on age match marriages. Donít underestimate the issue.
I don't see a problem with discussing money and lifestyle issues early on. The trouble is that the scammers will just lie :-). Thing is that a lot of the women on the sites are looking to be "house keepers" i.e. stay at home baby making machines while hubby goes out to work. How I don't have a problem with them looking for that, its just not what I personally want in a relationship but its good to establish those basic parameters sooner rather than later.
Bassuk...I think if you speak early on about money and lifestyles, then maybe girl thinks this is important to you. Money brings on false pretences and if anything is based on this then eventually girl will look for richer guys. I rather get to know girl from her past experiences, her values and what interests we both have and what we expect in life. If she goes around telling she wants big house or fancy car then we are not compatible. if she talks about close family and putting in time to make a relationship work...she is for me.
I do agree that large age gaps makes things difficult but generally speaking. There are many variables involved, I happen to share interests with people much younger than me which I know is not the norm. I have been asked many times from girls if I am not really 30 based on our letters. If you don't mind some risk, do extreme things, active in sports or stay out dancing till 3, then you can share much interests with girls much younger......it is more a state of mind than chronological. I do have my good days.... feels good to be out of the wheelchair.....:))))Anybody see my hearing aid????
Beemer: If a couple can really sort out the issues which do go with an age gap relationship, it can be one hell of a fun ride. Her youth and enthusiasm coupled with his experience and hopefully good judgment can make for a wonderful combination. The rewards can be high but the risks are higher.
I tell you Dunromin..you are quite right....guess all older guys hope this can/will happen for them. The biggest risks always come with bigger rewards. Well got to go...the home care facility is closing, have to be in bed by 7pm............ :)))
Beemer: You are excused and I'll need to go also because my "Home Care" facility is open and it won't stay that way for ever if I keep sitting here ignoring it............you know that 5'9" X 115 LB X 26 Y/O type home care facility.
DanO: Age gap relationships are always one of the hottest debates around these forums. I am always the pot calling the kettle black beause I always advise against them but live in one. 25 for you is not UNreasonable, however, if you have the choice, I would suggest you are smarter looking closer to your own age.
It is oft quoted, age gaps are very common in the FSU. Frankly, based on knowing a lot of FSU people over a long time, the evidence doesn't not suport the argument. It may be more common than in some western countries, but to say it is common is inaccurate.