Well beemer, you would be more than welcome to come to our wedding. You have shown great interest in my story from the beginning.
Would be rather a long trip for you though. It's in Volgograd, Russia, in February. I'm taking my 13 year old daughter with me because we are very close, but other than that, it will be all of my girls family and friends. Possibly some single ones but none of them speak English. I hate weddings as a rule, but this one should be fun.
Interestingly, my girl tells me that in Volgograd, because of the previous wars, and the difference in numbers between guys and men, it is difficult to find a decent boyfriend, and that a lot of Russians would be perhaps interested in meeting western men, but they are too lazy to begin to learn English.
Would have liked to be at wedding Tringa BUT....Russia in February does not mix well with my Califorina tan. Was in St Pete's last year in February. It was soooo cold that my cheeks were frozen right through my wool scarf, couldn't even feel my toes or bend my knees. Every two to three shops I would step into to avoid frostbite. My goal was trying not to fall on ice and brake my leg. Guess it was about -15C. When sun do break through, that 2 minutes of sunshine felt really good.
Never found much english spoken in Russia, I was only in bigger cities and definately little in way of signs. My friend that visits Moscow seems to find girls that speak english.
Her daughter was 23 and her son was 20 , the son refused to come to USA and demanded to stay in Russia. After he turned 21 the option was no longer open for him to come to the States (immigration law). Yes she thought she would be happy going back once a year for 4 to 5 weeks or so.
She returned home (permanently) to take care of her son (translate: run his life) and she is not coming back. Her son was always in trouble and it drove her crazy not being able to run his life like she wanted to. She spoke to her children almost daily (Skype) and each time she was sad after hearing their voices. I spoke to her two times since we split, first time; I contacted her and asked her to come back to America (she refused) and the second time (two months later) she contacted me and wanted (needed) money to live on (I refused).
My advice Ö bring them over here along with something from home (child) or knock them up as soon as you can, they need an anchor to hold them here after the puppy love and fascination of travelling to a foreign country wears off.
Her son (20) made the decision not to come and her daughter was too old (23) to come with her. She was honestly trying to let her children live their own lives as adults but the asshole son was too wild and made too many immature mistakes. She really loved me but when the puppy love wore off she turned back to her children.
Coop...I do see the predicament you were in..I thought kids were a few years younger and had better control. Was the son that wild while you were dating girl? Good food for thought if I was in a situation like that. Only more recent did I finally see a girl that had a child....they are much younger since girls are in late 20's.
"knock them up as soon as you can, they need an anchor to hold them"....that sounds funny....
I do wonder if your girl Coop was 'really' in love with you. She sure jumped at chance to take care of her son. Sounds like she wouldn't consider any other alternatives.
I'm new to this site and I found it by checking on HeavenlyHearts to see if it gave off some bad vibes and as far as I have read it's like playing the lottery. I was reading this post and found that most of you found an FSU girlfriend/wife and I was wondering was it easier-in your experience-going there to find a woman or going through a clean website-if there is such a thing as a clean scam free website? I've dated women here in the states and I also have been married-no divorced-but now I want to broaden my horizons and see what this world has to offer. I'm 31 and wish to do some traveling in hopes to maybe finding that special woman but who knows anything is possible.
Knocking them up is one answer... if they don't bring a "ready made" kid with them. It takes between one and two years for them (all women) to loose the buzz (puppy love) and start thinking about something other than you again. This is when they need the "anchor" ie: child, to keep them home.
I must point out here that while marriage COULD be the ultimate goal for most of us. It isn't for all. There are certainly some who write here who have no intention in visiting the FSU than a funfilled vacation. This might include sex tourists as well as others that are simply not ready to settle down yet. We might condemn them (sex tourists) but I amcertain that they don't see themselves as failures by any means.
It should also be pinted out that simply MARRYING a girl from the FSU is not a badge of honor. ANYONE can find a girl anyplace and anytime willing to marry them, if they set their standards low enough if simply getting MARRIED to SOMEONE is the goal.
There are good marriages and there are bad marriage. I know of at least one couple (nonFSU) that has been married more than thirty years. The husband comes home from work, retires to his "den" where he watches TV and uses HIS bathroom. He comes out for meals and sleeps in own bedroom.
I know of SEVERAL FSU couples where the lady stays in her country and the man simply provides money for her to live in THEIR flat. He shows up little - perhaps once every few months. And the get along alot better when he is gone than when he is there. This has been going on for five years.
My friend TimH who nasfan mentioned above married a lady he met through Elena's Models. He THOUGHT he had an excellent marriage. She went back to Russia to visit her family and didn't come back. Eventually she announced that she was pregnant by a much younger Russian boyfriend. He was heartbroken and ended up divorcing her. He was on his second search for an FSU lady several years ago when nasfan met him here in the forum. (I am happy to say that he is no vey happily married to a Ukranian lady and they had their first child last year!)
Gladiator - was married but it turned sour. Of course I'll let him retell his story here if he wants to.
SOme people here (like danny and another dud who's name starts with "d") met and married FSU women without going through anything like the process most of the rest of us go through.
Married or not married says nothing of the relative happines of EITHER member of a couple, whether eithr regrets getting married or whether anyone married for all the wrong reasons (like somebody just getting out of a bad country situation) - only that they have their name on a legal document.
What I am trying to say is that NOT EVERYONE who is married to an FSU lady is necessarily a gleaming icon who's words should be taken as gospel for the supposed success that they have had.
And not everyone who ISN'T married and is still here is necessarily a FAILURE who should be learning from the above group.
This isn't a race and there is no finsh line. (And some guys who HAVE crossed the finish line wish they had never entered the first place.)
I for one am quite happy now with where I am and where its going. I'm still having the time of my life and I think am quite successful.
I think you are successful if yourself and more importantly wife or girlfriend (or girlfriends in some cases) are happy together and remain faithful. You both should have a common goal you are both trying to achieve. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or deems a success or failure. Getting married doesn't mean automatic success as Jetmba rightly says although I don't think anyone here actually thinks that. Marriage isn't easy and I doubt anyone has all the answers. But I think there are some things we can learn and some people here have posted some good information and we can learn from them.
While I don't agree with Nasfan on some things he has posted some useful stuff in the past that I have taken note of. Namely stressing how hard it can be for your wife to leave her country and live in your country and you can do to help. Also being patient is important and making sure you free up more of your time to support her as she will be dependent on your for some time. Also the issue of her not being able to speak her own language. Itís one thing to read and understand these points, its another thing to put it in practice. For me at the moment its better for my wife to live in her country (Moldova) and I work overseas and spend 40% of the year with her. At the moment this works well (its not perfect I wish she could travel with me sometimes or I could stay there longer), I actually enjoy living in her country (for short periods at least, I'm not sure I couldn't stay there long term). I'd also suggest having the support of your own family and friends is important both, for yourself and your wife (perhaps even more so as the extended family over there is more important than it is in the west). So when I come to this forum looking for ideas and answers I don't care if someone is married or not but if they are trying or have achieved something I want to achieve them I'm going to take on board what they say. I'm smart enough to know I don't know it all and can learn from others, which is why I come to this forum.
I am little new to this sight but not new to life. it seems to me that woman are the same all over the world. the good ones are always hard to find. I know some who have stayed married for more years than I have lived and not all were happy. I know some who were married and divorced before the next summer arrived.
It seems a man has a better chance when there are more woman than men. since I have studied clinical psychology I have gained a better understanding of human behavior. there are signs and hints that do tell you about a person and there behavior. thinking with the little head and not the big one seems to be the cause of a lot of problems in starting a relationship. I wonder how many actually look beyond the physical attraction before they take the plunge.
On the language issue that was something that I had planned on way before. Though I might have neglected to mention it, it is something I addressed. Missing ones language even for a month is annoying. I remember walking down in Kiev after being in Ukraine for three weeks and hearing an English speaker, I had to talk to him for a few minutes.
Well I've networked with many friends from this forum. She speaks and hears her language everyday with friends and a couple of locals. Also via satellite she has 6 Russian speaking channels. I hear more damn Russian now than when I was in Ukraine LOL!!! I'm learning the language by Osmosis. The thing is don't take away their language or their culture. I've never demanded her to be a perfect English speaker, though that's something she took on her own. You married her for who she is and she brings all that to the table and more.