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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Have serious question regarding bringing Ukranian woman to US. Author Post ndfb Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/3/2008 2:19:36 PM   Ok I wanted to run this around you guys and please, think about what I am writing and give honest feedback. Im not meaning to insult anyone at all nor come off wrongly so take this into account please. What Im wanting to talk about is reality. Not what we would like it to be or hope it to be but reality. I guess Im your average guy here needing advise. Im not wealthy, making probably $75k US a year. And to be honest, even if I was wealthy I wouldnt "buy" a woman. Im 36 years of age. I still believe the secret to happiness is honesty, devotion and sticking it out good and bad. I just dont feel that a woman that is with you for what you can offer her is a woman that wont jump when a better offer eventually comes along. Fact is there are many American men with more money and opportunities than I have. I do not want to get into a bidding war over anyone. Thats not the way its supposed to be. I have interest in finding a Russian/Ukrainian bride for a couple of reasons over an American bride. Firstly, at least in the city I live in, American women tend to be very materialistic. At least the ones that remotely look good or are in remotely decent shape. Im not trying to come off shallow but we all know that attraction is important. There also seems to be a serious decline of moral values in America. It seems everything is about upgrades and temporary deals. Im not into temporary. I recently made a trip to Russia and Kyiv of which I enjoyed very much. One thing that impressed me very much was that 1) married women wouldnt hardly look you in the eye and 2) it seemed they were more than happy with the plain gold band on their finger. Ask many attractive American women and a wedding ring isnt a ring worth wearing if its not a huge rock. Again, materialism. I guess I am very attracted to the "stereotype" that Russian woman are about family and finding love from a life that doesnt give much opportunity for that. Also, the woman I am interested in is 34 years of age, not a 21 year old kid. She was divorced previously with no children. But she is very attractive, especially by American standards. And she is aware of her value but not snobish. I have been taking Russian language lessons from a woman who moved here from Russia 11 years ago and married a guy she knew, yes, for 12 whole days. He was fairly wealthy and worked for Exxon here. She was young, probably 21 years age then. Well didnt work out and all signs she says was because he was very possessive and abusive. Either way, after 11 years here with a 10 year old son, shes driving a new car and acting very materialistic. Possibly a result of being attractive in America and married to a wealthy man back then? So again, more proof that the American way of life corrupts. I guess the question is...do you think the dream of bringing a Ukranian woman to America for the average guy is possible? Now I think Im a pretty good guy with a lot to offer a woman. I keep myself in well above average shape for my age and I know how to treat a woman. But Im not Mr. Moneybags and I wonder if thats really what these woman want. Is it love and a chance for family and happiness what they are after or just a better life by whoever can give it to them? When I talk to Anya, she says Russian men are without quality and that seems to be the common statement, even from Irene my tutor when she lived in Russia 11 years ago. But does being without quality mean they dont treat them well or just cant provide them all the luxuaries in life? Because while I can treat her very well, I cant and will not buy her. And this is another problem. In America, I wouldnt consider marrying a woman I didnt date at least two years. Obviously thats not a possibility with Anya. I mean, I can visit her what, every two months or so until she comes but I cant be there all the time. So its letters, and calls. Another thing (on the long list of things) is the fact that she is very educated. She teaches at the university in the city she lives and has a decent life. Fact is that in America, more than likely her diplomas arent worth the paper they are written on. So coming here, shes working some $10 an hour job which is hardly mentally stimulating to someone with a doctorate degree intelligence. Could she be happy with a career like that? Im really serious about it but Im just wondering if its all just a dream. The last thing I want to do is bring a woman here only to have her jump ship to the next best thing. I guess its a fear of mine, be it rational or irrational. She has many qualities I have always wanted in a woman but how much can you truely know by letters, brief visits (1 week) and phone calls? After all, it is human nature to put the best foot forward. Help please! ndfb Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/3/2008 4:22:30 PM   Also to note. 1) she speaks fluent english 2) She is from a city about 350k. in Crimea. 3) I made her perfectly aware in the beginning that I was wealthy or every would be. Hope that helps bowhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/4/2008 12:43:30 AM   I am hoping this post will be a really good one to get answers to some of my questions also. I have seen some evidence of Russian/Ukrainian women being more than happy with a man who has won her heart. and these were not wealthy men or even good looking but from the small amount of evidence I have seen, they were more than happy and would not think of as you call it upgrading. MIKE00 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/4/2008 6:00:05 AM   Yes it can work mate - but i dont know about the income thing ! in my time married to a russian 7/8 years back things were cheeper - expectations were a lot more realistic in woman and yes in FSU TOO ! . MATE YOUR DEALING WITH THESE DAYS IN FSU - say 6 of 10 in the ''i want all catagorie '' i want it yesterday = visions of the west on a ''frank sinatra scale of income '' your 75k a year hmm ok thats not poverty ? but its not to a point where if you were asked a lot of her - that you would have ''fat to spare you know ''. Not being rude sir but 75k !! costs, fares, visas, all the crud travelling there and back catering for her needs --your 75k well you would -not want to make a mistake ay ! Looks to me you have 1 shot at the target - and you could get in grief missing the 7's the 9's or the bulls eye . Lot more loot involved than whats percieved - thats a fact - things get away from you over there ! You may be ok - i got married year 2000 to a bird whom knew i had 6 figures in the bank yes she never gave a toss about what i had ---------learnt a lot since those times that i was in fact DEAD LUCKY to get a non materialistic one to start with = thats fact i was just dead lucky . Bit like finding a 1968 pontiac convertable -mint order 1 old owner never driven in the rain you know and he wants $350 for it !! thats your odd's they ARE there but -- for each 100 you come across - hey really take 80 of em to the landfill in the (excess ''iam so pretty i must be kept in style '' diatribe ). YOUR BIRD CRIMEA thats a very good start mate removed from the tinsel town of moscow and the semi tinsel town ( pretend tinsel town of kiev ) Ive always stood my ground best birds in all FSU come from a village or a town so small its bordering on a village --ask her expectations of life in GREAT DETAIL believe me you dont want any surprizes huh YOU DONT WANT A MOSCOW REJECT who has watched 47 re runs of Julie Robers and richard gear in PRETTY WOMAN rolls royce lifestyle - once that once pollution has entered the head it turns to cancer you never really get rid of it . Vast majority have no vision just how bloody hard we work for our bux !a lot still think western lands we stroll; in the street pick up nuggets of gold its all so easy - but the agencies drum that into em too --------hook de man good ! da da da !! Ask her all the questions you would do as if standing next to her in USA if you ask 50 get 50 straight answers your home and hosed but with majority there is always some skeleton in the cupboard just be carefull hmm is she simerfol , crimea , sevastopol ? believe me it matters -if she's raised in the scrub had little / gotten used to little in life then she can go two ways 1 - live with you usa be happy as is in reference to previous life 2---- go totally crazy send you to the poor house . make sure you outline your outer barriers financialy in life to her -that way she gets no surprizes example - dear look iam 75k a year i have house ordinary i dont pretend be loaded i can provide resonable normal standard living in usa for us , thats me !! whats seen is what you get . I cant be what iam not! I'd like turn clock back 9 years because the ratio of greed in them was far smaller than what it is now --we can thank the internet for 70% of the greed factor emerging ! just be straight down the line huh ---------she will either nod the head say yes ok ! or she go hunting for somebody with 4 bedroom joint to offer instead of 3 you know. crimea though you never hear no super scam stories much from that region . all depends what she is used too and whats her expectations devilmaycare Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/4/2008 9:38:17 AM   Well you represent exactly what is missing in most slavic countries: a "financialy stable professional". Basically those women unable to bag one of the top 1% wealthy men are left with very slim pickings because professions that are well paid in western countries e.g. accounts lawyers doctors engineers etc etc are paid a pittance over there. A woman over 30 would stand very little chance of landing a wealthy man back home espcially with a kid in tow so women fitting this profile are probably the richest picking for us. Theres no magic formula for knowing a woman if genuine, you have to meet them and use your intuition, but in principal I see no reason why someone like you could not land a stunning 30+ woman and make it work. Of course noone can tell how a very attractive women will react when moving from a society where she is surplus to requirements to one where she is suddenly very hot property indeed. I have to say that I worry about this myself (as my lady who still lives in UA is extremely attractive ...) Tringa 3 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/4/2008 2:04:20 PM   I don't presume to give advice very often, but here goes: If after the first meeting, when there will more than likely be not even a hint at sex if she is decent, you are both what each other is looking for, then do exactly what you said you would do with an American girl: Spend two years developing a sound and stable relationship slowly, getting to know each other really well. Take her on holidays a week at a time, every three or six months or so, or as her job allows. Eventually meet her friends and parents. This will cost a lot of money, but you can thus both learn if each other and the relationship is for real. My learning curve taught me that you need to find a girlfriend, and not a bride, in the early stages. This will not be threatening to her, as would be someone pushing her to leave her whole life for a virtual stranger. Maybe in time she will fall in love with you. If she does, it will be the most rewarding thing that can happen to you. ndfb Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/4/2008 5:59:59 PM   First of all, thank you very much to those contributing positively. As for Danny3777, obviously you DONT read real well. It was obviously a typo meaning to say I WASNT wealthy or EVER would be as I stated in the earlier post. Maybe in the future if YOU kept your trap shut and read more, you could actually contribute somewhat to this board instead of being a useless loud mouth. Tringa2, thank you for your advice. Unfortunately, two years is a long time to be that far apart seeing each other what, three times a year? I cant expect her to have much more vacation than that. And the last thing I want to do is spend all week in a small foreign city while she works all day. She made it apparent that she did not want to wait long for meeting in person or spend years in correspondence. Bassuk, thank you very much for your post. You represent much what I feel. COULD it work? Yes. Could she be gone six months to a year after coming here with a rich person that can offer her more than I can? Always possible. I guess thats my biggest fear. You hit it directly on the head there my friend. Average there is insanely killer here. And you know American men have NO qualms about stealing someone elses wives. The absolute lack of morals and respect in this country is astonishing. MikeOO, thanks for your post as well. While 75k isnt big money or breaking anything, in my city its pretty decent. And as a single man, its allowed me to put quite a bit away. Maybe not big money but some. Its not poverty level and keep in mind, its just me Im working for. I live in Louisiana which has its nice areas but its not New York or Boston. But also understand that I dont want a woman I have to BUY to keep happy. I dont want a woman that DEMANDS things to stay with me. If thats the case, I would rather just pass. Im a giving guy and very romantic but Im not a big spender nor a big maker and never will be. If a woman cant be happy with a sincere and guinuine guy that truely cares for her and breaks his back for her daily doing the best he can, then I dont need her no matter how pretty she may be. Thats just the way I am and always will be. I guess you never know what to expect from any woman. Those that you think you know the most surprise you the most. And of course, they can change their minds at any time. But Im going to be honest, reading quite abit of the posts on this board is about as demoralizing as it gets. I dont know if its because of wealthy older men chasing 20 year olds or what but I think anyone reading them will agree that its pretty negative. In talking with Anya, she wants a sincere guy. She wants a family. She wants the things that matter. How do you ever know? beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/5/2008 2:45:23 AM   ndfb....don't let reading the posts get you down, even if they are negative. What you have to remember is we as individuals make decisions that determine our outcomes. This process of looking in FSU for our partners is like finding a needle in a haystak or walking through a minefield. As long as you know what you are getting into and the many pitfalls the come with that, you are fine. What keeps me going is the possibility of a huge reward in the end. I know that it may never come but as long as I feel I am progressing, I will continue. Some guys feel they can find that girl in one trip, I don't, I need to know her better, probably in several trips. What I have learned is what works for one does not work for another. Take what info you feel is right for you and disregard all the rest. I don't believe you need to be rich but you need to have something going for you(other than $$$)such as looks( no beer bellys) or personality. MIKE00 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/5/2008 7:35:42 AM   Beemer you are dead right mate - i dunno about the looks thing though you know the aussie guys married hear to ''madonas' believe me ( me included aint no winners in the ''looks stakes '' ) i think at days end the looks etc etc i dont think it accounts for a lot - is the bird going to sit you in front of a mirror all day in life and say oH fugg he's lost 36 more hairs ? and hell he's put on 8 pounds ? you know ive never met one even remotely critical in this respect -never heard boo actully but as we know all my chaseings been in russia - 95% of ukraine i dont know the womans views / expectations but if it hinged on looks ( something that trivial ! id be taking a hard look at her inside the head ) big chronic shortage of errol flynn look alikes from west, roaming ukraine lol lol blokes looking like errol; flynn remaine in pics on the walls of Paramount studios thats about as close as choosy in looks that they should ever be huh . its all the heart as this guy says hes dead straight . knows what he needs. good on him --should be more of em ay he's right we should not have to race into Myers splash fur coats upon her at $1200 each just to pacify her tuesday needs you know but you and me both know that in big cities in FSU 6 OF 10 WILL WANT or expect that - thats where the minefield comes into it - its scary because they can change - hell they can change as quick as they change for a shower . NBFB you should be ok mate main thing to recall! is they dont think as we do you dealing with revese mentaliy at times it can be very jealous - at times you will bang your head against the wall trying to work out --to her what you spoken wrong ! Just keep at times re-inforcing that fact to her -if you feel the need ----------that your not Donald trump you dont own 3 office blocks with servents you know ! long as thats firmly ( and i mean firmly ) enplanted to her scull like a tattoo well i think you be fine huh . if you go to her ! dont go overboard on pressies - dont give a representation that appears your loaded -believe me in crimea you got $600 in pocket by comparrision to the locals = thats LOADED so dont flash the cash play the peasent a tad ! cost you nothing huh . best to come across ohh few stock market woe's ohh making ends meet thats about my lot ! get my drift mate ? I made huge mistakes cigars world trips [[ come my lovely lets live it up ! i made some dandies ! but you learn once you turn on the big spender tap --you can't turn it off in there heads truly it won't have an end ! give a MARS BAR 3 TIMES A DAY SO TO SPEAK --THEY'L EXPECT IT ALL OF LIFE ! but start off dead straight cards on table example = hear my love thats our lot for future ! if we work hard together we can build on that ! but you expect me to flaunt my 75k year all for yours truly and me get a second job to keep your excess = your kidding ive only got 1 life ------its half over huh ! hears my card = gimmi a ring and guess what iam hear forever for you - if your expectations are as mine huh ! But like beema says its a minefield he is 10.0000% right and me too ! we been there and done it me 21 times but iam not looking for a wife thats the difference -but i know that before i got to plane for moscow ! ive no false reps in my head ! i only go for long term girlfriends suits my lifestyle - marriage suits others ive been married twice iam 51 i aint going for the hat trick and no pretender will ever talk me into it ay ! you be fine mate its all back to common sence --vast majority of us on hear have made fare share mistakes --but you learn buy em . mike00 aussieman41 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/5/2008 8:38:00 AM   You want to bring a Ukraine woman to the United States...my suggestion is "don't do it", you let her know you were financially well off and stable..well derr, dumb..you let her come you might as well go and stake yourself out to the vultures and be picked clean! I will love the comments some of the forum die hards will give here...I appear in this forum with the tedious irritability of an unloved season..soothsayer of doom protecting men from the evil gold diggers and scammers of the FSU. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/5/2008 6:11:54 PM   Does anybody actually give a sh1t what uselessman41 says any more? aussieman41 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/6/2008 5:55:12 AM   Martin, do the world a favour, on your next trip to Ukraine, when your aircraft reaches its cruising altitude of 36000 feet, open the door and bail out without a parachute over the English channel. bowhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/6/2008 11:33:05 AM   I may not be very experienced having only made 1 trip there. what I have found is woman are the same all over. some just see $$$$ signs others who are serious are more interested in you than what you have to offer. the lady I met was more interested in making sure she showed me all the sights and I had every thing I needed while I was there. sure we ate out and only went to a really expensive place by Sumy standers once and only because I wanted to make sure we ate at a nice place. she even made it a point to cook for me while I was there. she did ask me to help her purchase a new pair of boots only after I suggested we go look at some. I was curious about the fascination these women have for shoes and boots. and she did like I expected and bought a pair of modest priced boots based on the prices I seen, I of course paid for them. for the six days in Sumy including her cab fare to come see me I spent some where around 3000 hyrivna (not sure of the spelling on that one) and had a great time. I would imagine in a bigger city it would have been at least twice that. I am of course making plans to see more of the country next summer. Danys Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/6/2008 2:50:29 PM   i'm sorry u guys but it seems that all u looking for is to buy a woman ( with good looks), than rather find true love,that itsn't true happyness,and u will all live with the paranoia she doesn't really doesn't love who you are,but for ur pocket, very pathetic, it is called prostitution, but it seems we find more soft terms these days, FACT statement from a woman....I lived in US for 3 years and i agreed with the gentelman about wimen too materialistic, itsn't the irony you pay for been beautifull with no brain? or sensitiviness? Good luck to ndfb, as i see how many dumb ppl are thinking beauty and material wealth is what they mean. It is dificult to really find what you are looking for, but from my honest opinion, the woman that truly loves a man, doesn't care if he is rich or not, if he got power or not,looks, etc because at the end that only can be reduced to the alpha male in the animal kingdom that many ppl are trap on,no wonder so many insecurities and miserable ppl in the world.... ndfb Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/6/2008 5:55:41 PM   Thank you for your reply Danys. It definately helps coming from a woman who has been there and here for that matter. I guess Im just wondering if the whole deal is just a pipedream or not. On one side we have Ukrainian/Russian women saying Russian men are of low quality and have no idea how to be nice to a woman. How they just want love and to make a family. On the other side we have facts (like my Russian tutor who came to the US at age 21 to marry a wealthy Exxon exec only to divorce six years later and Im PRETTY sure that she is an escort in the US now, not confirmed) of that many Ukrainian/Russian women want the better life but for the life not the love if that makes sense. Its easy to want to believe that there are these wonderful ladies that have the qualities you dream of and are so different from the American women. We want to believe they want a good man and want to start a family because the opportunity just isnt there for them in their country (Im talking about 30+ year old women not the 21 year olds people are chasing). But how do you really know for sure? I mean, best case you visit 3-4 times a year for a week at a time? I mean, unless you are self employed or independently wealthy, you cant take off more than that from work and still have a job. So these guys staying a month at a time just arent typical. So you go max 3-4 times a year and hope like the devil shes being honest, which isnt hard to put on a great face 3-4 times a year either. And going a year with these great feelings in your heart for a lady wanting things to work because you think shes great, you find yourself wanting her with you. I mean, anyone that really likes someone that isnt a complete player will NOT want to spend every weekend alone wishing they were on the other side of the world. So you pull the trigger, bring her here, and what, hope for the best? Sorry guys, thats NOT how love and marriage is supposed to work is it? I didnt think so. Land of oz Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/6/2008 9:10:17 PM   Everything always seems to get boiled down to money. Two people love everything about each other when they get married and hate the ground each other walk on when they get a divorce. How can they even be the same people. If a man comes out of a failed relationship, searches for an FSU lady, gets married to her, uses the same relationship skills as he did in his failed relationship why would he not expect the same outcome. Of course he will blame it on the financial difference or anything else not to blame his relationship skills. Maybe money had nothing to do with it, he just was not what she was led to believe he would be like from the marriage agency industry and she was not the perfect woman who had all the qualities that a western woman lacked as the propaganda indicated that he read. They are both human and both dissatisfied with their success in their own country. I suspect money is the scape goat for many other problems that result in a hateful separation Fabio Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/6/2008 9:25:56 PM   You can only be sure by honestly discussing this problem you have in great sincerity with your partner and making your own judgment on it. In the end a woman who marries for money is not a woman who marries at all. Although most replies here seem to claim that a woman will invariably always opt for financial status over passion, this can only be in the eyes of a woman who is emotinally immature or a male who has failed to establish a meaningfull relationship with a woman due to his own emotional immaturity. I do believe that strangers responding to you about matters of your own love life, will never posses the adequate understandning of your personal psyche to be able to give you much realistic help. All i will offer you is the advice to speak with your partner about this, not to the forum, and speak to her onthe deepest and most truthfull terms you can, and then the decision must be your as to wether you believe it or not. In her case she may also be in need remember of clarifying your intentions, and may be just as in need of the reassurance of a love bond as you are. Please speak to her about this, no-one here can offer you the answer, you must achieve that on your own. MIKE00 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/7/2008 2:42:38 AM   Deep, truthfull i read these posts - but you all forget one thing - the FSU is not a race stepped in MORALS it never was -it never will be - to most there its the have's and have not's . This is a race born in survival mode and at days end the $$$$$ sign's as opposed to true love sincerity and all that part of the pie --will run a long last sorry guys but thats the truth . still it comes back to what your looking for and many varieties of relations many guys trying to escape the ''marriage thing '' many are limited finances ! others just opting for something a bit different than the ''old bigotted prunes '' they have on offer in home country ( can't blame em huh ). There will always remain big worries betwixed the mentalities they are reverse to us what they see as deciet - is in there eyes ok ! what we see as deciet in them - makes them throw up there hands in horror. I don't think so much its the guy's fault ! the woman can ( if she wants - be a lot more true to life you know ) In 80% cases in the world - the man can make life good - he has the power of earnings 10 times more than she ever could . At days end no matter what you end up with - she can try a lot harder to adapt to a good lifestyle - its really up to her to do this ---------if she dont want to live in FSU then its up to herself to try adapt to western ways . Certainly not the other way round . Strange country everything from morals to loyalty bought and sold ---even by there own ! no sorry the correction must start on there turf . mike00 bowhunter Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/7/2008 5:38:29 AM   Oz, Fabio good read MIKE00 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/7/2008 5:41:54 AM   LAND OF OZZIE ARE YOU AN AUSSIE ???? Reading your post mate yes your correct but the --- easy answer to avoid same mistakes in getting married again is simple forget marriage just shack up together same as 10's of thousands do in aussie --you dont have that grief then do you -but its sad most on herar lining up to hang emselves the marriage noose -jeses wept what a wrought marriage is the most over rated thing since safety standards on the titanic lol and you know what happened to that huh ! shack up --- and enjoy mate - you may be dead tomorrow = live each day's your last a bird would not get me to sign myself away again - not if she was standing there offering me $200.000 and a ferrari free !! - id tell her to 'stick it' lol lol lol!!! freedoms worth too much mate ! mike00 Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Have serious question regarding bringing Ukranian woman to US.
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