I met my wife on RussianEuro I assumed her personal was hers and hers alone.
After living here she deceided it was not the place for her but went back home
she made it difficult for me to get a divorce i.e refusing me papers etc
But now its in the late stages and nearly over, I just got the usual cry for help
she was actually with a agency, and after leaving me and back home she couldnt get a job
and have given me some truth ? I wonder if it is the truth.
Basically I said fine you have a visa for one year I will help you come back and get a job
as a friend but I wont give you money just pay your fare this was her reply.Note the sarcasm lol
Thank you for that you so care about me. Believe me that I was looking for work in your country in this way, even before you came in January. And now you offer such an option. And if I accept that, I'm are sure that you remind me this deeds on many occasions. And if you still do not understand something I explain once again - my loans were insignificant before the wedding. And when we were married officially, I had to pay for all services to the so-called agency. You know what was the amount? 3000 dollars. Never in my life I did not kept in the hands such money,even never seen. But I made that mistake - took two more loans, because in one bank, I could not have the desired amount. And interest rates are not so low as in your country. I need to pay back more than 4000 dollars in general. And now I try to solve it all but I can not. Even the bank do not give the postponement to the fact that I do not have work and no revenues. Just one day may be required to vacate the apartment and it will pass into the possession of the bank. But for you it's difficult to understand because it is not in your favor. Or for it is very difficult for your perception.
So she is saying she wants you to give her money for the money she owes the bank that she took out to pay for her fees in a marriage agency? I was under the impression that it was always free for a girl to use an agency. But she owed the agency 3000 dollars when she left it??? That really sounds crazy to me. Sounds like what other posters on here have of spoken of, the last attempt to get money out of you at the end. You and her are not married anymore you owe her nothing Colin. I've read your posts before and it sounds like this girl did not respect you and wanted you to be someone you we're not. I would just get as far away as possible from this girl if I we're you.
Colin, it’s no use bringing on here the facts as you see them or the facts as she is telling you.
What you need is the “actual” facts.
What is this “so-called agency” she’s on about? Are you aware of the money she has shelled out, or is this news to you?
If I could venture forth my humble opinion… you need to get your “is she scamming me” shirt off.
I’ve read your posts and it seems to me that your wife hasn’t got herself a lawyer. Not sure about the divorce laws between UK and Ukrainian peeps, but you know the story of what happens when we get divorced over here.
This whole thing seems too convoluted too be a scam when she hasn’t come after the grand prize..house, pension, alimony.
4000 smackeroonies for preventing your wife from being booted out into the street is not much to pay to preserve your own dignity.
How would you feel if, some time in the future, you found out that this is a legitimate cry for help and you turned your back on someone in desperate need…who also just happened to be your wife?
Maybe some time in the future you will learn that she scammed you…is that a crime?…does it mean you’re a failure? Will it change your outlook on life?
Interesting, so once you married her she was contracted to pay $3000 to the 'agency' and she did! Likely story, I'm not sure which part is more unlikely. Perhaps once she's divorced they'll give the money back!
If someone read your posts 5-6 months ago you'd think she wasn't the same girl.
I don't think its a planned scam as such. She is now just starting to understand she doesn't have a cent to her name and shes not going to be able to live the life style she is used too. Probably she thinks shes got nothing to lose and Colin can just find some loose change in his pocket to help her out.
I've never heard of an agency charging the woman. Also how did she get these bank loans with no security and no decent job ??. I think colins offer is as good as she deserves, but there are dangers even in that - if she comes to live in your house, colin, for a whole year she might end with some legitimate claim over your estate, be careful.
probably the last squeeze on me for money,, my only offer was to get her a job and she can do the rest herself. She cant come after me for money before she came I sold my house and am only renting now.
Shes not a deserted wife ,but she deserted me so I dont have to pay her anything.
I was seeing a nice girl b4 her a teacher in a nearby town, 29 and cute
she saw my status change on facebook and questioned me so we are going out the weekend to a show
together. I also met a nice 34 year old the other evening in the capital and I will be seeing her again
it nice to be on the prowl again.
But hey when she was here I gave her all and paid all for her and she couldnt do it
How could she do it alone.....
The agency was her mothers friend a elderly translator about 55,
and no I knew nothing about this money b4 hand I simply told her u never told me about this
money I feel no responsibility for it.
I wrote the below to her.
You made your own decisions if you are with me I have no problem helping me but you left me so that was your own decision take some responsibility for your own actions. I never had one argument with you or treated you bad if the worst you can say within
a few weeks is I have bachelor ways then I dont mind.
The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.
You may say the person you married is not the person you first met. The truth is that they are the same person. But you have changed—
stripped of your illusions about them. You’re disappointed.
So what should you do?
You might find it helpful to sit down and list the reasons why you chose this person. Think of all attributes that you enjoy and value. Think of yourself as the author of the Song of Solomon, writing about your partner. Shift your focus from the negative and critical to the positive and appreciative.
Yes many times you drove me mad when you lived with me but you had so many postives I liked.
You make the person the person you want by being appreciative of what they do for you. If your partner comes home early
to help with the housework or maybe cooks for you. You say thankyou so much I appreciate that
this leads to a situation where both partners get into a zone of helping each other and doing their best.
"... Around four months after she left I got an email message... she urgently needed to speak to me on the phone! ...desperately she needed money to "grow her business" and was in danger of losing what she had... she was broke and needed a cash infusion.... I refused to give her any more money and she hung up the phone on me... Bottom line... Colin be prepared for the phone or email message asking for a lot of money, it signals her last attempt to bleed you!"
Colin, I believe you handled this situation correctly... don't give in.
i Was married in ukraine and she is in ukraine so divorce is simple, I gave my lawyer there power of attorney so she goes
to court for me. Its easy to get divorced there we didnt even need lawyers we could just
go together and sign some forms and its over. But she refused to go with me
shes happy to be married and me support her in the Ukraine. My Ukranian lady lawyer told me
its 50 to 80 percent divorce in Ukraine for the 1st 2 years. She charged me about 240 euros
for all her services which I was happy with.
wow... i agree with everyone else here. this is 100% a final attempt to get money from you. i just told olya about it and she said she has *never* heard of an agency that charges the girls. also i would question whether she would be able to get a loan for the $3000 anyway.
i have read most of your posts over the months and i am sure you have done the right thing.
Why not? They make the laws as they go along. Reckon the only place she'd get that kind of money would be the local mafia...if so she's got herself into some deep shit.
If its Mafia they won't take too kindly to her leaving to go find work elsewhere and probably remind her that her mother is still in Ukraine.....collateral.
If its bank, what's the point in sending a weekly sum back to the original bank electronically when the charges would cut into it every month...take years to pay off.
She still not told you where this wmoney was spent?
I still think the thought of marrying someone to get a measly 4000 at the end of it is too incredible a scenario....could be its just an afterthought.
What this "business growing" anyway....fish?
If you cough up you walk away with dignity and peace of mind...if not you leave your wife in a world of hurt.
You need to find out what's real.
For me from my observations the Ukranian women suffer alot from narcissism,
and dont ever want to leave the Ukraine id feel sorry for anyone who has their hooks sunk into them.
My friend met a nice 21 yr old girl last time hes 38 and going back there soon
but he said he goes to just have fun we will see .......
Colin if your thinking of paying her $4000 but your not sure if she telling the truth, I would ask for bank statements.
Did her parents offer their apartment as security? Or is it her apartment? The bank cant take her parents apartment unless they signed it away.
Maybe you could ring her mother and ask her about this $4000 and see if she knows what it was spent on.