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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Her parents Author Post AzulReyJM Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/25/2009 7:08:24 AM   I met a girl in Odessa, Ukraine and we fell in love. I met her in September and I visited her once again in December-January. Our plan was to get married and live in my country, which is in other continent. But recently she told me this: "Recently I was talking with parents about you and me. I told them that I love you very much, and in the future we are going to get married and live in your country. My parents are very upset. My mother cried all the evening and the next days. I am is one child in the family and my family can not let me live in another country forever. I can not make my parents suffer so much. I have a responsibility to take care of my parents in the future, and especially in their old age. I simply can not abandon my family. Except me they have more nobody. I love you very much and I thought that we will be together all life, but in the future I can not to go to your country and live there always." Now she told me that I should get my money from my air ticket because now she doesn't think we have a future together. I am planning to tell her that I prefer to go and try to find a solution together. She told me that if I go, she will not be able to be separated from me anymore. I have thought that maybe she can be 2-3 months with her parents per year and the rest of time with me, in my country. I have been even thinking about moving to Odessa, but I know I cannot make a living there. What can I do? Do you think I can make her parents to change their minds? Thanks to everyone. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/25/2009 9:47:59 AM   They do need to support their parents as they become older and retire however a good method to source such security to financially support parents is to move to a more affluent country than Ukraine. She doesn't need to be with her parents to support them, there are such things as Western Union to send support monies, so if this is the parents being difficult, and not merely her making excuses, then it sounds like they are being over possessive but perhaps the lady is at fault for not discussing her plans with her parents before acting to leave Ukraine. 2-3 months there would suit the parents but 9-10 months away wouldn't. Perhaps regular visits every 2-3 months might work but you need to think long term, the parent(s) in law are already interfering in your personal relationship and it is likely to continue that way and indeed get worse, think about it, might it be better to get out now? ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/25/2009 2:55:38 PM   How about taking her parents with you? In the US, that would take around five years. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/26/2009 6:13:36 AM   I've heard this parent crying story before. Mostly it's a ruse. My wifes mother told her to go and have a life, and most parents, of the guys I know here in the states, parents said the same thing to their daughters. Going back to visit for 2-3 months out of the year isn't unreasonable. I agree with a couple of posts above. If this is an issue now, it will tossed in your face at every opportunity. They were surviving before you came there and the will after you leave. Better set the ground rules now before it's too late and if she doesn't want to do that, move on, it's your life also. What parent in their right mind doesn't want their children to have a better life than they had? Dunromin Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/26/2009 8:01:32 AM   She’s milked you so far as she can, the next step is she has to pony up to actually doing something, that is, immigrate, not going to happen, reasonably gently, she is telling you she has her local man, or another foreign punter (The parents line is BS) and that is that. Move on.....................it’s a tough school. The "Lurv" thing doesn't happen in a couple of visits over a few weeks. Learn that if you are to survive. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/26/2009 10:01:36 AM   No Anal bear, you a joke and a complete fraud. You're such an idiot you don't deserve children. Kirkland Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/26/2009 2:31:35 PM   This scenario doesn't bode well for a blissful future whether she goes to live in your country or not. If she actually does pony up as DR says she'll remind you that you took her away from her home every time she feels unhappy...which by the sounds of things will be frequently. Reminds me of my lovely ex-wife who complained about me taking her to live in another town (13 miles away) and how she missed her mother but could never get her boney ass over there to visit her. Ask yourself how many girls listen to the wishes of their parents. Expect to be taken for a ride. In my experience most folks try just enough to keep you from leaving, but won't waste any extra for your happiness. She's not making that final effort and she's got you right where she wants you. She's more into the money you have than being with you...might (prolly) have a local boyfriend but if necessary will allow you to come over every so often to service her as long as you leave and drop off some cash on the way out the door. ndfb Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/29/2009 12:04:28 PM   You hit it 100% on the head there Kirkland. A little brutal but pretty accurate I would imagine once the smoke clears. Sounds to me very much like she was in love with the idea of getting away and having this new life but when it really came down to go time and it started to look like reality, she realized it wasnt for her. Which is really the best thing because you have to realize bringing her here means you marry here within 90 days. We are talking MARRIAGE here, not date and play. Marriage is a big deal, a committment that even if it fails, you carry around in one shape or another for the rest of your life. Its on your legal documents and everything else. Plus you also become legally responsible for her so it could be real bad for you if this isnt the real 100% deal. And as always, every woman reserves the right to change her mind..its part of the unwritten law of females. All women are flakes somewhat, just depends on to what degree. Just be happy she did it now and not later when it really would have been a big deal. aucklander Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/30/2009 7:45:58 AM   Something which has always struck me as a bit harsh is that the USA only allows three months for a couple to make up their minds after the woman arrives. While that may be ample for a lot of people, for most that is rushing just a bit too fast. Unless you've spent a LOT of time with her in her own country, and you're absolutely certain that you're meant for each other, three months just isn't long enough to get past the starry-eyed "Oh my God, she's here - she's really come to be with me!" I don't know about other countries, but New Zealand allows nine months, and the girlfriend/fiancee is allowed to work during that time (not compulsory, of course). You're certainly going to have a much better handle on your relationship with that much more time. Maxirat will correct me if I'm wrong, but as far as I know (apart from alimony, if any) we also don't get lumbered with this 10 years' worth of financial support if the marriage ends - a divorce is a divorce, end of story (child support is a separate issue). I don't know whether it was designed as a disincentive to marriage, or to make sure that people thinking of marrying a foreigner are REALLY sure abut what they're doing, but it scares the hell out of me! I'm just glad that I live where the rules appear slightly more sane. ndfb Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 4/30/2009 2:31:34 PM   Yeah you pretty much have to be ready to roll when you get here. It does make it difficult because if you arent wealthy and able to travel frequently, it is hard to spend a lot of time together really. But you know, there is a lot to be said about couples that marry without having extensive time together. Research shows that couples that do not live together before marriage have a significantly better chance of remaining married than those living together prior to marriage. Hall and Zhao (Cohabitation and Divorce in Canada, Journal of Marriage and the Family, May 1995:421-427). Bennett, Blan, and Bloom (American Sociological Review, 1988, Vol 53: 127-138) That was for you Smart Martin! But seriously, a couple can know each other for six weeks and be married their whole lives, treating it as a learning and growing together experience or know each other six years and be married six months. I lean both ways at times. The conservative part of me says playing it safe and learning firsthand their flaws and if you can live with them is good but the other hand says there is a lot of bonding by working together through the issues and experiencing things as husband and wife. Plus dating for years before is kind of like a marriage with an easy get out plan. Just break up. To me bringing her here is a big exciting thing. You forget, EVERY SINGLE THING will be new and exciting for her. The things you, I and every American woman has grown up either knowing of or experiencing firsthand will be a pleasant surprise to her! Imagine Disneyland for the first time. For an AMerican woman, its no big deal. For her its just wow. And the look on her face and the happiness she receives will be far worth anything in my opinion. And lastly, when she leaves her country for yours, its not an easy thing. Shes quitting her job, moving out of her apartment or selling it if she owns it. Shes packing up everything she wants to bring and giving away the rest. It SHOULD be a big deal and it shouldnt be something you can sample for a year and discard if its not to your perfect liking. After all, shes sacrificing EVERYTHING to be with you. Shouldnt you do the same? ndfb Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/1/2009 10:08:49 AM   I think you dont think and thats your problem. Unattractive, unintelligent and out of shape are not good characteristics. Please go walk in traffic and do the world a favor. Maxirat Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/1/2009 8:35:28 PM   Aucklander - you have it correct. Talking about marriage The daughter (my wife’s daughter who arrived NZ last Sept) rang yesterday and said she got married the day before !!!!!! Lena, my wife is in total shock - to say the least !!!!!!!!!!! Her daughter is 21 and is completely different values and priorities to Lena. It goes to prove that the young ones in FSU are no different than the Westies. Respect - loyalty - values - different to our generation We have not even met this guy she has married to !!!!!!! Batman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/2/2009 12:07:24 PM   dummy3777/anus/barely literate555 wrote: lol ...disney land .... its not like they live in a black box you know ...your a funny one ...i think you should get a grip ndfb replied: I think you dont think and thats your problem. Unattractive, unintelligent and out of shape are not good characteristics. Please go walk in traffic and do the world a favor. Another poster calling you out and I suppose this counts as pack dog mentality in your mind. You're nothing but a disruption here and I'm suprised Olga hasn't banned you again. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/2/2009 6:50:07 PM   I guess he's like the Joker, Catwoman or the Penguin, huh Batman? You always put them away in an episode, but they always come back in another. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/7/2009 9:55:18 AM   This is the idiot(danny) who sucked up to Narvarreman1 who made one trip and on the cheap and danny proclaimed him a hero. What a moron you are danny. The only foundation you find is in the palm of your hand. ndfb Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/7/2009 12:16:21 PM   Personally, I could care less. I have my Nathely and Nasfan has his lady. The rest of you frequent posters have nothing but fantasies of being with a beautiful, young woman when you arent facing reality. I come here and state things that have worked for me and others and get growled out by the fools that constantly talk but never succeed. Obviously posting advice here for those that actually could benefit from it only gets you belittled by a bunch of overweight OLDER men that think money is all that matters. Thus they have constantly failed in their younger years and it has rolled over to their elder years. Money is NOTHING if you have a good woman. She wont require it at all because she has love and thats what ultimately is important. Unfortunately, most the frequent posters on here will never know that because they are too busy trying to by attention from women WAY out of their league that dont like them for the person they are but only their money. But enough. Congrats guys! You disgusted yet another person enough to make coming here not worth it to help others. Again, I have my woman. I dont need anything here. Good luck to the decent men that are really just needing honest help and prefer not to get razzled to get it. Because you wont get it here. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/7/2009 4:01:28 PM   ndfb, Yep, ndfb and nasfan, only ndfb and nasfan, have ladies, the rest of us have only fantasies, ndfb has been to Kiev AND Kharkov you know! Rena Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 5/12/2009 11:11:23 AM   to say the truth related to the topic... My family is ready need help!not finansial... but need to help at home.. to help with renovation,prepare food ect.. hands help I mean and this girl mean that! not money support,may be also but not that press a man... to pay him.. no! ! good and educated girl/ boy would of course help their parents thsi is normal...as everyone would do! you are talking that she may stay 2-3 month... my gr mum says.. wife must be near her husband... so it is this case.. try to find the solution,cose otherwise it is easy to broke a cup of love.. and lose each other May be you can build your own business in Odessa... may be u can buy property and lease it for the summer.... but winter for exampe you may be in ur country... think about opportunity make business in Ukr and your country Good luck! AzulReyJM Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/8/2011 5:10:18 PM   It was only an excuse... She continued meeting guys and she found a rich guy from New York. I continued searching through the Internet and I found a great girl!!! :D We will get married soon. Psst, psst... Do not look fro girls in the agencies if you are looking for a sincere girl. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Her parents
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