This is the first time you mentioned the others wanting privacy. So, I'm hard of understanding of what was not mentioned before? I don't understand English? Not if it isn't written or spoken. Who can? Can you? If you had mentioned that in the first place, I would not have come to a different conclusion of what you wrote. I don't believe that it is correct because although this forum is public, their identities are private. But I do acknowledge that it is a possibility.
Only Colin can decide on what to do next. It is probably over. I mentioned my experience in my early twenties earlier on this thread. The woman actually wrote me several times after I told her I was married, which was a lie. I could have gotten back with her. It was what I was trying to do for years. Yet, being apart, I saw our personality and goal differences, and decided against it.
Muzzy said one of these days, she will be ready to get married. Right now is not the time. One of these days, she will. I said to look int her six months to a year, but I don't know. When that time comes, I don't think she will play this game anymore. Lionella will end up with somebody not as patient and kind as Colin. That is why I said she will think of Colin.
Call me a hopeless romantic, Durak. I have not put a label on me, but perhaps I am. I understand that my heart might go through the meat grinder. But, it's been there before. Who can guarantee that I won't? My situation is nothing at all like Colin's. At least, I don't think so. I know, though that whatever happens, it is between me and my girl. I have listened to others in the past and got burned for not listening to my girl's needs. People say things that I must do, but they don't know the whole situation. I do listen, but I still must do things my own way. That way, I have noone to blame but myself.
Julian let's bury the hatchet and move on... I have many experiences that are constructive to the new members of this forum and within a very few months I will marry a gal from Zaporozhye and leave this forum. In the interm I would like to offer to those who come after me some advice.
I agree with Craigsutton that "Martin is still one main problem on the forum. A distant second is jetmba." ... you speak the truth Craigsutton !!!
ragingbull, I think it is constructive and necessary to talk out the problems we all experience with these fsu women and from this discussion we all will learn... keep up the good posts!
tribological, jetmamba... andrew... julie or whoever you are... I do not want you to "blow me off" OK?
Durak now is the second person besides beemer that saw this thread for what it's worth. His perception of the "cheerleaders" was spot on. It almost compares to the suicidal person trying to solve his problem and someone handing him a gun and saying use this to ponder your situation.
It's easy to cheerlead someone on to a disaster since you don't have the emotional carnage to clean up. Misery loves company that's for sure. Unfortunately I do not derive any pleasure from someone's personal disaster.
i had a really good escape, I went through her email 2day ,she keeps everything very organised
different emails from different guys in folders.
She met a Hungarian guy over internet id say early 30,s he feel for her big time same as me basically she wanted money from him and such when he didnt cough up enough she dumped him.
She told him at end leave me alone u are a snotty nosed boy who dosnt help people with their problems. He replied my life is ended I love you so much how can I live without you I will go get a job in a foreign country to earn more money.
(all this was in Hungarian btw) How calculated and evil to treat people so and yet only 26
what a horrible person
I was comparing her to my gf years ago. I didn't get back with her for a different reason. This is a much worse reason than mine was. Time heals wounds. You will be able to look at this more objectively later on.
At around 26, the biological clock should be setting, or nearly setting. She should have established her identity by then, unless something prevented her from doing that. Perhaps she was married or lived with a guy for several years.
I have a close relative who married a 15 year old from the Philippines. He was about 30 at the time. She was the prettiest "woman" in town. She was a spoiled brat in their early years, but he had a good job so she was given almost anything she wanted. Then, in her late 20's, she began going out and partying, leaving him with their child to babysit. This happened for several years. I don't think she was going out with a guy, at least she never got caught. We theorized that she was trying to capture her adolescense, which she was never allowed to live.
She is now 34, and they got through this. They seem happy, but perhaps they are staying together for their two kids.
ye bull u are right womens clocks go at different times , I would have said later in the 20,s 28,29,30 and after 30 it goes into overdrive, what does my ex wife want in life?
who knows I asked her does she want children she said of course. But then we go back to the original thing they fear to be controlled at home by their man no money. And no sitting in little cafes with the newest phones and long nails sipping on tiny coffees and wearing the best of fake designer goods ,while being unable to even do a decent amount of food shopping and returning home to a over crowded dump of a apartment.
i got her email password and have been watching correspondence between her and the mother , they rant at each other and the truth all comes out, very interesting makes me laugh/smile alot. She hasnt returned home to Ukraine but is in Budapest her mother became angry with her for not sorting out with me. So she said alot of untruths about be , mother emails her now and she dosnt reply except for the odd rant. lol She has 2 degress in Ukraine but these are no good in the west , id say best work she can hope for is some menial work for the low Hungarian salary ,until her visa expires, I emailed 2 guys she was mailing (but correspondence had finished b4 this) now this dosnt email anyone (she has few friends anyways) I fell semi sorry for her but will not contact or message her again and no doubt I will hear from her again. Reported her on a scamming site 2.
Personaly i would be e-mailing every bloke in her mail folder and warning them. I had a similar experience with a woman that i corresponded with, she was so thick with the internet she had a problem logging into her yahoo account she gave me her password and asked me if i could log in on my computer because she thought hers was faulty. I did and there was a list of e-mails from some guy there and the silly cow was asking him for money. I confronted her about it and she called me all the names you could think of because i had read her mail. It all came as a shock to me but i did the right thing and e-mailed the guy and warned him that i was involved with her also, i never got a reply from him. The analogy of sitting in bars and cafes with perfect nails and cheap clothes just about sums up some of these women.
i emailed them, and some replied, since she has left she has deleted all messages she sent and messages she received to guys on the internet and yes that little voice in the back of my mind says maybe i over reacted, when i confronted her about this ,this was her explanation through tears.
'You are able to talk to anyone (i can) when we were in Ukraine and Hungary u would talk to people on train on plane everywhere you have many friends I find it hard to talk to anyone on the internet its easier. You shouldnt have booked my flight and reacted like you did should have talked to me about it not its too late I realise you can do anything'.
Anyways im grand now, met a nice girl other day and seeing her again tomorrow yes im a little anxious but I will be fine ,I dont regret bringing her now i have learned alot the 1st time I blamed myself
felt what if , now I know the truth. She came back this time to find job and get independence and one day she would have left me again. Im glad I found out what I know, how much worse would it have been to me 1 year down the line.
Colin sounds like you have all the answers, the ex is now part of the past and that is largely down to her. She has set out her stall and it is now her problem. Just move forward with your new woman and forget your ex and accept it was just 1 chapter in your life. It is all you can do. My ex came out with a similar line when i read her e-mails "i am talking with friends how dare you intrude and make acusations about me". It was the line with "you are my man and i want you to know i love only you and maybe in the future we can meet" that pissed me off a bit. Hey thats life, looks like some women actualy believe their own bull and seem to think that some men are just thick.