"I dont understand how they can be so loving and yet its not real"
I've been stitched up much the same way as colin has but luckily it didn't get as far us getting married or anything. I had a woman crying in my arms because I was going home, all the while she had previously arranged to meet another man 3 days later. These women can just turn on the affection and turn it off again.
"I dont understand how they can be so loving and yet its not real."
Only last night, I was talking with a Russian woman friend, who tried to explain to me some typical thinking of Russian women. It is not uncommon for a young beauty to have a well-to-do boyfriend or husband who keeps her in style (including luxury cars, million-dollar apartments, etc.). In return, she lavishes affection and attention on him. It is a sort of contract, and both parties are getting some needs met.
Of course, there are "kept women" in every country. In the West, most people like to condemn such an arrangement as morally low, but in Russian culture, it doesn't have as much stigma - it is more accepted (not to say that it is accepted by all!).
So here's the tricky part - in the West, we have a set of rules (many of us break them all the time, but they are still the rules) that say when a girl is so sexual, or even affectionate - and she doesn't have a real romantic love for the guy - she is practicing a really terrible kind of dishonesty (of course, men do such things just as often). I think that most of us in the West look on such behavior with a genuine sense of horror.
But in Russian culture, THIS IS NOT AGAINST "THE RULES" (or at least, not in the understanding of many millions of people). So a woman who is turning on the juice, in order to get some material benefit, quite possibly doesn't see anything at all wrong in what she is doing. There is nothing for her to feel guilty about, because she has not offended the "code of conduct." And to her, it IS real - she really is taking care of her man in that moment, in the understanding that he takes care of her!
I'm not making any defense, or apology. But when someone asks, "how can she do that," or "how can she do that so brazenly," or "how can she do that with no sense of shame"... if her understanding about couple relationships is very different from ours, then her conduct is no longer such a mystery.
chances are she'll give you a bonk after all, before Monday. By all means do what any of us would do and enjoy yourself, however DO put her on that plane.
A few weeks ago, I was telling her about my reaction to the way women often dress (especially in Kyiv). I told her about a scene that plays out in millions of American households with teenage girls, when mother says "you're not going out dressed like THAT!"
My Russian friend told me that in Russia, the opposite can happen: mothers will complain because their daughter's outfit is not sexually provocative enough.
According to my friend, the current generation of middle-aged Russian women often had a very hard life (I won't go into the details here, but anyone who studies the history and culture enough will know that we're talking about a harshness rarely known in the West), of enormously hard work and strain that was often rewarded with privation and a lonely life.
Naturally enough, they want their daughters to have it better. And many of these mothers have decided that their daughters' best chance is to marry a wealthy man. And because a wealthy man in this part of the world can take his pick (some men here have argued that Russia and Ukraine are not as poor as some people think, but really, they are hugely below Western standards) ... a girl must be as beautiful, sexy, and desirable as possible, in order to hunt the "big game."
If my friend's take is correct (she is very observant and thoughtful), then it is not so difficult to understand how the current generation of young women (especially the under-30s) formed their concept of couple relationships.
When my second wife and I were close to "the end" she stopped having intercourse with me... I could not understand at the time (I didn't know what was coming but she did!) but she continued oral sex. This went on for several months until we finally split. It seems she did not place such a high value on oral sex as she did with intercourse. The reason I tell you this is if your girl (predictably) initiates sex with you and it is only oral sex, then she still does not want you... she does not want the intimacy with you. My advice at this point is to take the oral sex and don't warn her... fill her mouth and then on Monday put her on the plane!
In each of my three divorces I grieved enormously. If you now grieve as I did... you can eliminate the majority of this grieving by a simple pill "Lexapro" I took this for 6 months after my second wife and I split and it literally saved my sanity... I was able to function again. Talk to you doctor and he will recommend something to take the edge off for you.
After each of my divorces I thought the end of the world happened... but you know what? I found after the healing process had taken place (several months) I became happy again and looked for someone new to share my life with... good luck to you and I would like to share an adage from my favorite author Goddard… "Happiness is the Art of Making a Bouquet of Those Flowers within Reach"
a farewell f**k? a BJ as mini me has suggested --- ??? thanks for sharing about oral sex -- but if you ask B Clinton ....&*(&*%^( never mind.
If she aint done the deed by now, what are the chances? Honey, I know we haven't had intimate relations since I relinquished my manhood and acquiesced to your coming here to search for another man. But would you mind terribly if I "boinked" you or would you like to suck my dick before you leave? End of thread! It's over. No more advice. The man learned and made his decision.
Best of luck with the Irish gals Colin. Much better choice. And hopefully by the time anyone else reads this, she will be on the plane with a one way ticket to: NEXT?
not 2 worried about her going now, i have access with my son every week his mother cut access
and wont let me c him because of the ukranian girl, shes breaking a court order but then women can get away with alot.
feel good this evening friends coming over for me and we are gonna head out,I wont drink but we always laugh alot,im gonna go c doc 2morrow take a few days off go 2 poland and screw some polish girls and drink alot of vodka...grin
I am very much like Colin. Perhaps, my way is not the best, but I can't change. As long as it is not overly inconvenient, I have let my women have their way. They then take advantage and think they can have their way all the time. It isn't until I have had enough and will not have anything to do with them that they then think they can't live without me. This is why I believe Colin still has a chance, a small chance. This is also why I think a bonk is not out of the question. Julian, why is it that you are in a hurry to close this thread?
I didn't say to try again. I said to look into it, if he still feels like it. I realize it will probably give the same results. When I said it, I was seeing that Colin might still be thinking of letting her stay still. 6th to 1 year is a better choice.
Should she be unwilling to travel on the flight, go to the airport, check-in, refuse to board etc. then there is very little that Colin can do to force her to do so, short of committing a criminal offence of 'assault' or whatever.
Should the above prove to be the case then all Colin can do is make appropriate observations to, subsequently, report to the immigration authority.
I don't agree with the closing of the thread and the ending of advice. This is a forum and people want to say things. When a situation ends, another begins. Suppose Colin wants to tell us about what happened at the airport when he drops her off? Suppose she writes later on? Don't you want to hear about her begging and Colin not listening? How about Colin's trip to Poland?