"Remember, these girls were 'making ends meet' before you met, why do they all of a sudden need help?"
I realize that I am opening my self to suffering slings and arrows for making this argument but there ARE cultural differences between FSU women and "independent minded" people in the west. Extending back to Soviet times, if one person had an abundance of something, they were expected to share with neighbors, friends and relatives.
I stopped my Moldovan lady from constantly asking me for fiancial help early on - but she still willingly and ofen asks help from relatives who are working in a foreign country. Example: Her cousin called her and mentioned that he was living illegally in Italy and working as a caretaker for an elderly man. And she immediately asked if he had any spare money he could send to help them out.
Likewise it was quite a while before she introduced me to friends and relatives. You can imagine my concern that she might not be proud to be dating an older man or a foreigner. SHe finally told me what the problem was - that if friends and relatives knew she had a foreign boyfriend they would think that she had come into money and would be asking HER for fiancial assistance.
Think of this - until recently buying a car on credit was almost unheard of - yet man people were able to buy cars. How did they do it? Often by asking for assistance (or at least loans) from friends and family. Often nobody had the resources to make such a large purchase on their own.
Now contrast this with life in the US - I would sooner starve than ask my friends or relatives for help. It has to do with the fact that we value independence and self-reliance.
Under communism - without the help of family and friends - nobody would have gotten by.
I'd bet my bottom dollar that OZ is NOT abusive. But you know what nasty things happen in divorce. Happpens most often today in child custody battles, but all KINDS of false charges are often made by people on both sides. (Previous to no-fault-divorce laws it was absolutely neccessary in some states for one spouse to prove fault in the other and all sorts of "made up" claims of abuse were commonplace.
All she need sot do is go to a counselor and make up a story alleging abuse. A trip to the doctor with a few false stories and some claims of pains (or better - self inflicted bruises) can take care of the medical reports. Thats all it takes and she has her evidence. Its easy.
Rb, carefully read my post asking you to open your own thread re: phone problems.....never did I tell you to not post on this one...I don't really care, It just seemed whatever you were saying, you were getting guys telling you the same thing and I didn't know if you really got what they were talking about. I don't really care if you blow all your money on this girl, just remember the fact it is no different than any western man giving girls money/gifts just because they 'need' it. From the first time you posted here you saw nothing wrong with giving FSU women money/gifts just to give it to them for no apparent reason, I am sure you have a good heart and are a sincere guy but in this FSU chase you will get used to the end and it sounds like you don't care, your choice, as long as you don't come back and accuse your gf of being untruthful.
"Don't worry about picking on me. Worry about getting picked on. You want to marry, this woman, right? Why should you not be concerned with everything about her, including her financial needs? Only if it concerns you? Miscommunication? Isn't that what my subject is about? I might have repeated myself, but it was the same situation a week later.
Who said I wanted to marry this girl???? I am just trying to get to know her better. Her financial needs have NEVER come up, she works hard and has to support a family. She just spoke the other day about NEVER wanting to be in a relationship where she has to rely on another.
RB, I didn't believe your problem was miscommunication...only bad phone lines or your gf didn't want to talk to you( maybe too busy).....just a few days ago you were talking about her going to Moscow and now shows up in Italy.....and you want to marry this girl....she doesn't even want to be upfront with you about what she is doing, only for you to guess, your life not mine.
"......... Now, no matter what she said, think about why she is resentful.
She WASN"T resentful, she was upset, do you know the difference? In a matter of 1 day, you wouldn't have know anything happened.
"Now Jetmba, why would you think you are "opening yourself to suffering slings and arrows" for stating your point of view?"
I'll say up front that it isn't beemer I am concerned about. But you might have noticed that as soon as I reentered the forum less than a month ago I was subject to unwarranted attack from the get go, by a few with either old petty grudges or new axes to grind. Thats what I was talking about.
I must agree with some of the points beemer is making. Even though I did assist in renewing the passport of my Moldovan, and even though i have helped her out from time to time (certainly nothing regular and I have not given her money in a long time) I always know where she is. She has never done any country hopping. I can call her home phone at an time and if she is not there I can always get her on her mobile. Since the connection is never as good on her mobile, we always arrange for a time when I can call her on her land line with a few hours. And there has never been a single instance when this has not worked out - meaning she certainly isn't country hopping behind my back either.
I too would agree with Beemer if he didn't come to wrong conclusions about me and uses it as an example. For example, I do not I give money for no reason. OK. Perhaps just a little. I pay for her child's internet, but I give just a little more. Other than that, I make her ask for it and tell me what it's for. Yes, there are times when I refused her. Another thing is I have never accused my gf of being untruthful, nor do intend to unless there is some hard evidence. What is wrong with accusing someone of lies if it is true? What's wrong is accusing someone of lies when all you are doing is coming to conclusions of what she PROBABLY what she did. If it is different what FSU women do, isn't it better to state those facts?
I guess I came to the wrong conclusion too. Beemer, you went all the way to Odessa and brought a woman to Egypt that you have no plans of marrying? That's a new one to me. You must have met her from a marrying site and you are posting on a Russian brides forum. I want to raise a child, one my own and another not. I have corresponded with about a dozen women. Financial needs ALWAYS come up, not by me. Maybe that's the difference between women with and without children.
Beemer you look at your post again. You didn't believe it was miscommunication? You asked me to start another thread about phones. Then, you rambled on about my situation that had nothing to do with phones, but about her about what she probably did and what I should do.
The thing about the chocolate pudding was though that the night before, she hadn't gotten any (pudding I mean) and was quite upset. When I realized this, as we were sitting together of course I gave her mine.
On the night in question I rushed to make sure that we would both get some (again pudding I am refering to here) and managed to secure the last two bowls. (These guys REALLY tear down the food bar when supper is over). With both on my tray I sat down - and of course as mentioned previously, she was upset at me and didn't sit with me. As a result both bolwls of pudding were with me - and ultimately she didn't get any.
"If you don't sit by your boyfriend then NO PUDDING FOR YOU." - Pudding Nazi
Whether a woman receives a 2 year or 10 year card is totally up to the interviewer. I know of a couple of people, one who used to post on this forum, that his wife received a 10 year card from the start. Nothing etched in stone on the 2 or 10 year card.
"She just spoke the other day about NEVER wanting to be in a relationship where she has to rely on another."
"What is a relationship if it is not relying on each other?"
You are serious RB??? At what point is your gf going to start relying on you? The girl you profess to getting married to is in Italy 'working' for money to support herself and her child. And you are worried about trying to reach her to 'talk' to her? Well put up man.....support your going to be wife.....and by the way, is the recently canncelled trip to Kerch for you have anything to do with economic crisis? If so, maybe you should be looking closer to home. Tell me if I am wrong but you have taken 1 trip to see your girlfriend and it was last year....agreed to marry while there and you haven't been back since and not sure when you will be back...oh but she said she wait for you....hmmmmm. Sorry to rain on any parades but there is a part of K1 showing support, I hope that will not be a problem but I guess you know all this already........speaking to lawyers for info.
I am serious and yes I know of the affidavit of support. There are ways of making the rules work for you if you look at all the possibilities. And yes, she still wants to come here and I still want her to come here. Isn't that enough?
It is a document to make sure the immigrant will not be a ward of the state. That whomever signs that means the government will bill you if the immigrant gets government assistance. A side note to that is I doubt if the government ever bills for that. I know of a couple of immigrants, green card holders who went to Mexico for the day and got caught at the border coming back because they didn't bring their green cards. INS as USCIS was called back then investigated and found out they have been on government assistance for years. The Affidavit of Support signer was not billed. Their government assistance was taken away, but they re-applied a month later and got it back.
I am doing this by memory, so don't quote me. They look at your income for the last three years. You must be a few thousand dollars above the poverty level. I believe the income requirement was $30K USD for a family of five. So, the income is not hard to make up. If you can't make it up, you must have a certain amount of money in the bank. Or, you can ask someone who has that income to fill out an Affidavit of Support. It does not have to be the petitioner.