I have been reading posts here for a few years and I still don’t get it! Why are all these guys going to Ukraine, Russia, etc. to find wives? What is the idea here: American, British, Spanish, French, German, Italian women are no good? Is it about losers going to a foreign country to find a bride as seen on the BBC show about AFA? Guys save your time and your money; if you can’t find a young wife in your own country what you’ll find elsewhere will sure disappoint you!
Gib Doe; lots of guys like the one above enjoy the thrill of visiting a foreign land where the natives will offer themselves as companions for the duration while said guy is fleeced and left to ponder the very question you raise.
It's called sex tourism.
You know the score.. geeky guy who can't get laid in his own country goes to poorer countries with the pretence of the wife-search routine.
Sad fact is; some of these guys don't even get laid they are so low in value to these women.
Since you posted only 30 seconds after Muzzy I am assuming you were not refering to him as the one fleeced.
There is a lot of jealousy here in the forum - most blatantly shown by craigsutton who wanted to use the forum as a soapbox from which to denounce AFA concerning his own failure.
Seems perhaps that you share a little jealousy? (Certainly if your comments were meant to refer to me.)
Being "fleeced" means somehow to be deprived financial resources while being taken advantage of. I certainly have not been taken advantage of and I have not been deprived of any money I didn't voluntarily give. (I do not support women in a "sponsorship" role.)
"Sex tourism" means to vacation in an area where one can take advantage of one or many paid partners for sexual gratification. Again - since I don't in any way pay the women, that definition seems to make little sense. In fact its patently absurd.
I realize that as much scorn can be given on a forum such as this for people who come and constantly whine, as for those who speak of continued success. Envy shows its face in many ways.
Perhaps I am not quite as deperate to find a wife as you would like me to be. I am sorry if in being very selective, and having fun in the process I am disappointing you. Too bad.
Fact is I can "get laid" wherever I want to. And I go to the FSU because I like going.
I’m in agreement with Gib Doe on this one. Basically if you can’t cut it with women in your own neck of the woods you’ll fail just as miserably with the ex-soviets.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but this is all I see on these forums…guys failing miserably.
As for continued success; it’s very easy for someone (like me for example) to come on here and say I’ve had more hot babes than you’ve had microwave meals for one. Truth is. I can’t prove it so I won’t say it.
Jealously….mmm…I think not….nice try though.
Took me a while to realize I’m actually desperate not to get married. Didn’t work out the first time… too much pain and woe is me…from both sides.
The end was woeful in as much as I got fleeced…but that’s divorce law. System says an ex-wife is entitled to X amount she’s sure as hell going to take it... I saw it from a positive POV and reasoned that I was in negotiations for a better life and would have paid twice as much to have that particular door closed.
My experiences of fsu have been many and varied and most have been positive. Even the not so positive one I would not have changed.
Sex tourism…go ask the home grown boys their view of guys from the west coming and frolicking with their women.
If you want to really know your position in the scheme of things with a girl from fsu. Try out the Russian dating sites like Rambler.
Stick your profile on there and see how much interest you get.
Using a forum like this one to determine the relative success or western men going to the FSU to find wives - is a little like tapping into service repair line for some product. One might easily get the impression that things work out poorly for EVERYONE - thats because the people who DON'T need service or help, don't write or call in.
Its only those who are having some problems (or maybe those going for the first time) who write here. People who have the whole trip thing down tend to remain silent as they have their lives to live.
Some guys failing miserably want help, and some (like craigsutton) just want to scream to the world that they feel they have been ripped off.
OF COURSE - its easy for someone to come on here and talk about the success that they have had, whether its true or not. I have no need to brag - but since lately my method (Romance Socials) and going to the FSU itself (in this thread) have come under attack - I think its necessary to say "Hey, not EVERYBODY is a dismal FAILURE!" Sometimes things work out GREAT!
I know what the home town boys think of sex tourism - I've had a few encounters that could have turned out nasty. Like the time I went with my beautiful Ukrainian lady and her equally beautiful sister (who is actually younger). It was may lady's birthday so I had given her eleven roses which she had brought with her - and we went to a local dance bar in Mariupol - me an older man. I nearly got my head knocked off by some young guys who resented me going out with their local women.
(I don't need to put my name on an internet site to find out these things - I have real life experience.)
I think its more appropriate to say that some guys will not be successful with women ANYWHERE - they just have lousy personalities. At least one of those made a big scene on this forum in the last few days, again, claiming to have been scammed. We can only pity those guys. But the FSU still provides a viable option for some of us who are not crazy about the fare at home.
If people have anything against western guys going to the FSU - tough. Let the FSU women decide. Simple as that.
Working as an expat for a few years there is a anecdote about guys working in the FSU. Those that are single come back married and those that are married come back divorced. Ie they all get targeted by girls wanting a better life.
THe reality is that guys go there because it is possible to find a mate that is better looking and younger than they can find at home. It is also that the mechanisms to finding that mate are different to those closer to home so that the reasons that they have difficulties at home may be less relevant searching abroad.
Also its fun to travel and meet new people see different places.
Gid Doe said: "if you can’t find a young wife in your own country what you’ll find elsewhere will sure disappoint you!"
I did not start looking for a mate in the FSU because I could not find a wife in my own country. I did it because I did not WANT to find it here (different lives have different reasons). Never had a bad experience with a woman from this country (where I live now). In fact, I only had ONE experience, but after that I was already disappointed.
So far, I am NOT disappointed with what I found in the FSU (not just Russia or Ukraine). My fiancee is Russian and I am very happy every minute we are together.
By the way, after I was committed to my fiancee, I met a lovely lady in London. If I had not been committed already, I may not have looked at another FSU woman again :-) I just made a choice, and I have no complaints. And that would also have been a woman "elsewhere" for me.
Kirkland said: "I’m in agreement with Gib Doe on this one. Basically if you can’t cut it with women in your own neck of the woods you’ll fail just as miserably with the ex-soviets. "
My reply to this is that not everybody who goes the FSU route (or even Latin-American or Asian) did not start this journey because they could not "cut it" with women in their own country. I have a good friend who is a very eligible bachelor in Singapore, but he is only interested in women from FSU countries.
I have had 19 months of correspondance with 2 women from the FSU and in this i found that both women are no different from women from the west, the bigger my wallet the better chance i had of success with them. They were not interested in the fact that i am a fitness instructor, good looking, healthy, good personality romantic and loyal. None of that was important to them, the fact that i did not own my own home and did not earn much money was important to them. The reason i look for a woman from the Fsu or any country for that fact is to find someone that is right for me and that makes me no different from any human being. If some women from the FSU are money grabbers then in my opinion they are no more than a money grabbers and not much different to women from the west. Infact i have found the stories about women from the FSU as being loyal honest and beautiful as fairly mythical, the two i have met urned out to be the most horrible examples for human beings i have ever met in my worldly travels.
I won't deny (and haven't) that the prospect of winning a western husband along with the chance for a nice lifestyle - opens the doors for a lot of FSU women. They certainly like the idea of having a better life and more physical possesions. I don't deny that for a second. But it ONLY opens the door. After that we are all on our own.
There ARE a lot of very good looking youn, athletic men in the FSU. If physique and looks were their sole objectives, they would be foolish to look to the west. Why go after a western man and have to switch cultures when so many physically fit emn are available in their own country?
And there are definitely some FSU women with lousy personalities. I have heard stories that would make Jerry Springer blush (is he still on television). I remember one guy - totally in love with a woman he had been writing to. Fianlly visited her, slept with her, spent every time he had to buy her presents. (After all she was the ONE he thought.) On the last day of his two week visit she casually mentioned that she was engaged to a Russian Military Officer who was away on duty, and she would be marrying him in 4 months. "Bye-bye!" She said to my friend. He was crushed.
I know another guy who looked endlessy for his special someone. When he finally found her they courted and married. After six months of marital bliss (he thought) she mentioned how she would like to return to her native Russia for a two week visit. He willingly sent her on her way, anxious already for her return. She didn't come back in two weeks... or three... or for four months. At that time she told him that she was two months pregnant - by her much younger (even much younger than SHE was) Russian boyfriend. He was crushed too. (And THAT guy was a former forum member who I met in person.)
All i want to say to the person who started this thread is, i have never met an English woman yet who is more acomplished at lieing and hurtful as the two Ukrainian women i met. If you had the same laws in Ukraine as we do in England and the police actualy had the balls to do their job properly a lot of agencies would not exist and alot of women would end up in prison. As for me i am not suggesting all FSU women are bad i just had bad luck. It pisses me off when people say you got scammed hey it was your own stupid fault. Personaly i have found the behaviour and attitude of agencies and women from ukraine as shocking. It is a sad story when you hear that out of the 1000s of agencies in Ukraine etc that only a small percentage of those are reputable. So i would say to the person who started the thread whos fault is it that i got stitched up is it my fault for not finding an honest woman or is it the dishonest agencies that has about 80 percent of scammers pro daters and gold diggers in them. This is my question to you. From now on any Fsu woman i get involved with i have to basicly screen her to see if she is a scammer. I have never had this problem with an English woman and i am unlikely to either. People are bad all over the world but in my opinion the Fsu date sytsem is virtualy rotten to the core and almost completely lawless compared to what is perceived as right and wrong in the west. We have a saying that a small minority always ruin it for the majority, unfortunately in the Fsu date business it is the majority that ruin it for the minority of honest and decent agencies and women looking for a man and that does not mean a man from the west either.
I must apoligize for what no doubt, seems like I am trying to hone in on your action in the FSU. But I must also tell you that the FSU is a big place - and any men I might see in Ukraine are quite a distance from the men you are seeking in Moldova.
And the fact is I can NOTICE a man might be good looking, without having any personal or sexual interest in them - therefore I am really not competeing with you at all.
I am not (as you do) looking up men on singles sites. You could very well have a profile up and I would be completely unaware of it - not like your awareness and research into mine.
PM me with your address and telephone number and the next time I see any good looking men, if they have seem to have limp wrists, I will pass that your contact information on to them. Then you won't have to impersonally look them up on singles sites.
I see that the forum is split! Some guys know what they are talking about yet others insist on bragging despite their failures. It is because of guys like that, that the girls continue to take advantage of new comers. The point is: we should try to cut the supply of the disillusioned. If you are looking for sex, there are plenty of young, very nice and very beautiful prostitutes there, but please don't get them mixed up with professional daters who are looking for free meals and cash for nothing. If you are looking for love, sorry, too late, find a different way and stay away from the agencies, socials, etc.
I think a lot of it depends on how well you follow your own instincts, AND how well you know exactly what it is you're looking for.
If I was just being lured by and chasing the "hottest babes", or being pulled into the fantasy of the ones who seem to fall in love after three letters, well.... I'd probably be setting myself up for the big fall...
I've corresponded with about a dozen women in all (on Fiance.com)... initial interest for a variety of reasons (and a number of them initiated the correspondence), but about half of them I lost interest in pretty quickly. Mostly because my own "real criteria" kicked in, and started filtering. I know what I'm looking for. I could find that at home..... maybe...... but not as likely. I'd need to "settle" and I don't want to. (Meaning I'd have to "settle for something less", compromise too much.)
For me, it isn't a matter of whether or not women are available here. They are. I have no problem finding dates if I want them, and plenty of interest... It's just that I'm not too keen on the culture, the expectations, etc. Common threads. Women who talk like truckers... lots of little things that just aren't compatible for me. The modern culture here.
I don't like being measured exclusively by my means. But, it's still common enough that "men are providers and women need a secure nest"... it's not chauvinistic, it's just how we're (mostly) wired. So, yes... a woman considering a life partner is going to need to feel confident she'll be safe in her future. Even if she isn't 100% provided for (meaning she's happy to work too), she'll want to know you're a solid fall back if times get rough.
I've seen plenty of profiles where the ideal for them isn't material, or age, or looks.... it's heart and companionship. Underlying that is an obvious belief that when people have a true partnership (love, best-friendship, mutual interests at heart), that anything life throws at you is manageable... that's their picture of "ideal", and how rich you are has nothing to do with it. It's more about "will you be there for them" through the inevitable hard times?
I'm down with that. I'm not measuring them exclusively by their looks either. As long as I find them attractive (and I have my own ideas of what that is). Age is really only a factor when they are too young (I just don't think I'd find much emotional or intellectual magic with someone 30 years younger than me, nice as they might be to look at...). There are certainly exceptions to every rule, but plowing through dozens of 20 year olds to find one, is itself an exhausting prospect. I'm looking for a partner, not just playtime and eye-candy....
That said, I can relate to the idea of not wanting to marry and have kids right away. There's no harm in playing the field a little, but..... well, I've already found someone I think has a lot of potential, so I'm off and away to Ukraine in a couple of weeks to find out more....
Well, I've got other reasons for going as well. It just happened there was someone nice to consider and meet while I'm there. Good timing. There are 3 or 4 others that I've written to, but I'm not going to meet this trip.... I think it makes sense to have some quality time set aside if you're going to meet someone. Can't always know what you need to know in only a couple of days...
And, is this just me? I have a hard time developing affection and interest for numerous women at once. I guess I'm a 'serial monogamist'?
I've only been at this for about a month. Jury is still out if it's the best option for me. I'll certainly know more after spending a month in Ukraine!