Send Flowers to Russia, Ukraine and Worldwide with Cyber-Florist.com Fiance.com: Beautiful Russian brides
Home  |  About  |  Forum  |  User Blogs  |  Login  |  Register

	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > How this looks from Her perspective Author Post durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 6:35:41 AM   In a recent post one of them men wrote, "Reading this website, you might come to the conclusion that a great majority of them (meaning FSU women) are not serious or are scammers." It's a strange world that we are all exploring. An awful lot of them are scammers, and an awful lot of those that aren't scammers simply put up profiles as a form of entertainment - or are really looking for a man, but truly ambivalent about foreign men. But mixed in with all of this chaff, there are women who are deeply serious about their future, and simply want a really good husband. Not 10 days ago, I met a very sincere single mom in Moscow. Somewhere in our conversation, the topic came up, of female time-wasters on the websites. She found the idea astonishing - "Why would someone do all this work, if they are not serious?" She was looking at the problem from the viewpoint of someone who genuinely looks for a husband. For sincere women, it is really hard work -- it consumes much time and energy, and they must deal with contacts from foreign men that are vulgar, ignorant, completely unsuitable, fantasy-based, etc. etc. It is obvious that many of them have experienced long correspondences, that led to absolutely nothing. The real ones are there, and they are many! I suppose that for me, the bottom line question is whether I trust my judgment, to be able so sort which is which. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 6:50:27 AM   I recently had a truly eye-opening conversation with a woman friend in Russia. She sometimes looks at this forum, I hope she won't be offended by my writing about it here... She opened up, in an unmistakable expression of pain, about how hard it is for her. She told me, "you can be proactive... you can decide when you want to come to Russia. I must wait for men to travel. Sometimes I feel like a bird in a cage." I had never thought about it this way before... like most people, I suppose, I focus on MY stresses and frustrations in the process. For my friend, like most FSU women, the combination of paying the costs of travel and obtaining a visa to the US (her preferred country) is just prohibitive. So women like her, must wait for us to show up. But she had another surprise for me. She feels that she almost cannot write to American men. She uses a website that shows you whether a message you send has been read; and she has many times written long, articulate letters that the men never even read. Because she is a beautiful and well-educated woman in her early 30s, it seems unlikely that so many men are completely uninterested. She believes that they take her for a scammer. And of course, when I get an unsolicited email from a profile with beautiful photos, my first reaction is always to feel suspicious. So here is my friend, strong, exceptionally intelligent, energetic ... feeling almost helpless, waiting for the men to write to her, or after correspondence to decide to visit. For most of us, this search for love is a rugged journey, and there is plenty of pain on both sides. God bless us all. ben2006 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 7:02:20 AM   I agree many are not scammers but just do it for the entertainment. And especially true if your dealing with younger women. Which is why your better off getting over there and meeting them and not spending hours writting letters. figgis Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 7:12:21 AM   You are quite right in you analogy. I have had a long correspondance with a woman from Sevastopol. She was never a scam but fell into the catagory of not serious about what was required to take it from correspondance to real. Another woman was real and a total and complete dilusional liar, she had no reservations about asking for money for gifts, she lied about not having children, insisted on me meeting her parents she lied about her sisters profession. When i met her she said her mother was ill and it was best i should not meet her. Nothing i could do about it you would think if she wants me to meet her family then she is serious. I did get to meet her sister but this woman had no physical resemblance to the woman she described so i was not certain it was her sister again nothing i could do about it. The thing is with some of the scammers is they can seem so very real and sincere and leave you thinking she is mostly real but there always seems to be a reason for why it is not moving forward. As for the genuine women who think how could a woman do that. Well it happens i am afraid and it is a major business and it is no surprise to me in my experience that some of these women are almost crazy in the way that what they think they are doing is ok. There is no wrong to these women they have no care for the harm and pain that they cause. Lockland Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 8:28:59 AM   Dude she is just having conversation with you for the moment kind of thing!!! Armin(Bonddd) Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 9:12:07 AM   Well gentlemen, some of you look like someone who went to a market and saw a stallholder selling a stopped up barrel with wine. And you want to buy it as there is written "the best wine in the world", but someone says that there is crap instead of wine, and another one says there is more wine than crap, and one more man claims there is more crap than wine. Nobody knows who is right. The best way to find it out is to open it. The best way to find out how many real women are there in Ukraine or Russia is to go there and to meet some of them. Muzzy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 3:27:58 PM   Fabulous post, Durak. Certainly an eye opener and a reminder to us all to remain a gentleman. devilmaycare Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 3:40:24 PM   Well on many websites you cannot read messages unless you subscribe and many of the profiles will be men who arn't subscribed or have lapsed. To be honest if I got a really long letter as a first contact I'd probably assume it was a cut-n-paste job. The other obvious explanation is that she isn't very physically attractive ... durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/26/2009 3:51:45 PM   @devil: On this website, you can see the subscription status of each member. Some of the men have to pay to read a letter, which explains their being selective. But they don't know how big the letter is if they don't open (read) it. And while beauty is a matter of personal taste, I think that the great majority of men (especially in the age range where she is looking) would be very interested by her photos. On elenasmodels, I always have that "sinking feeling" when a message in my outbox shows "unread/deleted", but it is no surprise ... I'm an average-looking middle age bald guy, and I know that most women have a different image in mind. It was a shock to me that this attractive young woman is often getting the same response. colin Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/27/2009 4:03:16 AM   Seems like unless there is something at the start of the correspondence men usually become dis intereted very quickly. I see my ex was sending messages to one guy back in July , each letter was a list of small questons what do u like to eat any tattoos etc. On the 4th message he wanted to meet her in Kiev which she was agreeable to, and he then asked what type of sex do you like anal,varginal or oral. Lol she said this is to early in our correspondence to ask such questions. For me I cant imagine someone sending such a letter. Muzzy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/27/2009 4:29:20 AM   Well, I hate to say it, but some blokes really are doing this because they have so little class, they really can't get a woman back home. It sometimes makes me sad for these women that they have to put up with it. One that I met out there said they get sent photos of genitals - which I can only assume that some sad loser thinks will actually be a turn-on. I've said it before, I'll say it again - just go there and be a decent, genuine bloke, and you'll already be ahead of your competition. The pond life some of these women have to put up with... aucklander Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/27/2009 6:29:39 AM   Quote from Muzzy: "...One that I met out there said they get sent photos of genitals - which I can only assume that some sad loser thinks will actually be a turn-on..." I had the same reaction from one woman that I was briefly in contact with - a pretty doctor from Southern Russia who felt there was no point in her even trying to find someone serious because she received so much crap like this. Keep your genitals under wraps until it's time for them to be used! Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/27/2009 6:15:27 PM   so now it makes perfect sense that many women are very cautious of guys from another land... what a buch of a-holes Kirkland Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 10/27/2009 7:15:12 PM   Could be that the guy who deletes a letter without reading it is using a smart slection process. If there is even a hint that the photos presented on her profile are unnatural I would delete without reading. This sends the message to the woman not to bother me again. Or if her profile talks of love, marriage and fairytale scenarios...again deleted as a potential timewaster. IMO the woman in Duraks post wants to make a serious effort in her endeavor then she should tone down her efforts. Get the photos natural and talk about the real deal and her part in it. Not what she "hopes" for the future, but what role she will play in making it happen. I would prefer not to be seen walking down the road with a girl wearing a skirt that allows onlookers to see what brand of underwear she has on. So any girl with a photo suggesting that's what she actually wears is binned. Get the photos of her lounging around with what she wears at home...its more natural and truthful. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/5/2012 5:54:06 PM   So why is Durak reviving a thread from 2009? To present some more stories... April 2012 The setting is late evening, an Italian restaurant in a Russian city. I'm in a small non-smoking room, and almost the only other people there are a couple whose table is 2 or 3 meters from mine. I didn't intend to eavesdrop -- I was trying to read my book. It happened that for both of them, English was a second language, and their language in common (which they both spoke quite well). Because they were talking in what for them was a foreign language, and the subject was an emotional one, their speech was pretty loud and distinct. What they discussed relates to experiences of my own, and some other men in this forum. I paid attention. I would estimate them both to be not far from 30 years in age. The young woman cute enough, but nothing of the glamorous looks we see in so many of the dating site profile photos. The young man from Italy, and handsome in the way that young Italian men often are (for my American friends who may be confused, the average real Italian guy does NOT much resemble the average Italian American guy). I guessed that they had discovered one another by some website (dating or social networking). Some time before -- perhaps a few months, perhaps a year or more -- they had made a few days' trip together, and by her wounded tone, I didn't doubt that they had shared a bed. The crux of the matter was that he had come to Russia trying to romance her, but she knew that he had met other women since their first rendezvous, and she was damned unhappy about it. His speech and body language expressed a lot of pleading: he wanted her to give him another chance. It seemed to me that he was trying to explain that his looking in other directions was connected to the lapse of time since they had met. She reminded me of many other Russian women I have met -- intelligent, serious, and sincere in her intentions. She spoke of how hard she works at her job, and how much of her time away from the job is consumed in looking after her parents, who live far outside the city: it all rang true. If I understood rightly what was going on between them, it was a situation that happens often: a woman who is hoping to find her second half, and a man who is "shopping around." It didn't seem to me that they resolved anything ... he was expressing in every way he knew how that he wanted her, and she was hurt and deeply skeptical. He looked like the car salesman who isn't closing the deal. Maybe you -- or I -- can learn something from this couple's painful meeting. lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/9/2012 2:53:34 AM   Durak,,, While standing in line at customs, or at restaurants, I’ve talked with perhaps a dozen or so guys, and most are in Ukraine for fun and games. Were they writing to women and planning to con them, or did they plan on “renting” while in Kiev,,, I don’t know. But,, when they asked me; what I was doing there,,,, and I told them; “to see someone who I have been corresponding with“,, they had a real shxt axx grin on their face!! I also know of guys from the forum and in person, who can’t understand why the girl was so frigid?!! They had wrote for sometime, became very close,, and all that was needed was a real meeting to see if they had any chemistry. When they do meet, they seem like total strangers to each other?! Why does this happen??? Because they are total strangers to each other!!! If the letters are going through an agency, you might get a few tidbits of info about the girl,,, but that’s it! The girl might only get a cheat sheet on the way to their meeting. It’s not only that you may not be writing to the real girl,, but you might have a translator, who is making promises on the girls behalf??!! What ever it takes to get you to their city!! I’ve lost track of how many millions or billions of kisses they promised,,,,,,, mostly from the ones who don’t show up!! lonelyranger1701 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/13/2012 2:53:30 AM   Websites like the one we are on right now,,, almost completely rely on agencies. So do most of the men writing on this forum!! You found your girl,, if she exists ,, in an agency! Why do you single me out for using agencies?? I can’t spend months away from home,,,, I have responsibilities here,,, something you still don’t understand. Batman Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/23/2012 8:35:23 PM   More lies: "I understand alot more then you think . My mum runs an agency you should try " I thought your parents were killed in an auto accident in the US by a drunk driver. DBHundertmark Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 8/24/2012 1:12:37 AM   hez tellen da tuth, he ez reely upset. he spent da hole dai hitten hez head on da waul. evrybodi stop beeing so meen! durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 12/11/2012 7:23:54 PM   Well, another story from a Russian woman's perspective, on international romance. She and I met quite by accident in my travels -- she and I were facing the same problem, due to a flight delay, at a Moscow airport -- and with her combination of kindliness and competent English, she helped me get through it without the need for a slow dialog between myself and the worker at the ticket window. We had a few hours to kill, before the next available flight to Saint Petersburg, so we had plenty of conversation, and quickly became friends. She was returning home from a long visit to her fiance, and was really excited about reuniting with her tiny child, who had stayed in Russia with the grandparents. I told her about some of my own experiences with dating websites, etc. Her match-up isn't what most of us imagine when we think about international dating: her western gentleman is originally from the FSU (but now a citizen of his adopted country), so the two of them communicate in Russian. But a part of her experience that I thought might interest some of the men on this forum, is that when she talks with friends about her fiance, she makes up stories about how she met this man. In fact, she found him on a dating website (I don't remember the name, it wasn't one I know) -- but there is a lot of stigma around women who use these sites. Apparently, many Russians think of the women on these sites as being money-grubbing, ambitious, or simply disloyal to the motherland. As for her, she wants a man to love her, and care for her and her toddler. It isn't important to her where they will live, and the man is definitely not wealthy. But she worries about the assumptions people will make about her, if they know she used an international dating website. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > How this looks from Her perspective
	Pages: 1 2