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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Body language, mannerisms & other such things Author Post Muzzy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 3:43:38 AM   Okay, now that I've helped divert this into a language forum, I thought I'd try to steer back to FSU women, with a question I've been pondering for a while. I'd like to benefit from the experience of those who have been dealing with FSU people for a while (Armin, Alex, your input would be interesting here). I'll explain (eventually): I work with people from lots of different cultures, and I notice that body language, mannerisms and what one could call colloquial behaviour can cause sometimes serious problems. As an example, I have plenty of African friends, one of whom (a Nigerian) explained an issue he sometimes comes across... In Nigerian culture (and indeed across much of Africa) it is considered disrespectful to look into the eyes of someone older, or in authority. When a parent is reprimanding a child, for instance, the child must not look the parent in the eyes, and so they often look, but in any case avoid eye contact. Here in England, avoiding someone's eyes is often seen as a sign of guilt - or disrespect! Consequently, this guy (a respectable senior bank advisor) told me of experiences of he and his friends when they got into trouble with police when being 'randomly' stopped in the street, and actually increasing suspicion on them by instinctively showing the policeman in question respect, by avoiding eye contact. This is only one instance I can think of, but I'm guessing there must be similar issues dealing with people from FSU - where intended meanings of expressions or reactions are misunderstood (in either direction) I don't have enough experience yet to have noticed anything, but I wonder if anyone else has? Australia Man Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 6:16:24 AM   Yes I noticed this when I was in Ukraine. When I was with woman in Kiev I dropped my trousers down to my ankles then swung my briefs around my head. For some unknown reason Ukrain women took offence to thiss.I donnt knoww they had problem with my Australian custom. Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 7:03:41 AM   There are several websites that offer insight into behaviors, customs and traditions of people from the former Soviet Union countries. Look and ye shall find them. Some are interesting. But as in everything, not all people act the same or according to cultural traditions. For instance, most Russians do not smile in public. Nor do they laugh out loud. It is considered a sign of inferiority or that you are a simpleton. To whistle or sing are right out! When I asked my friend why she never smiles - even in photographs - her replies amazed me. "People likes fools, they can be taken advantage of. And if you smile you are considered a fool." I was amazed at this. And some other idiosyncracies within the culture. Plenty of information to be found on the subject. Yet there is a softening of such behaviors. The difference between those in their sixties and the younger generations is quite noticeable. However there is a respect level between the generations and family honor for such behaiors. I was also amazed that her mother exclaimed to her that she should not attempt to be happy in life because she should accept the hardships of Russian life. It seems to be the accepted thought that 'we must struggle and live a hard life.' WTF? You will notice a difference in behavior with a young person who is away from home and when in the presence of family elders. As for reactionary attitudes, sometimes it is just a language barrier. But other times it is because of a vast cultural difference. There are also difference according to regions. Russia is a big place. Many cultures within in boundaries. And with that come different behaviors and customs. Search the net, I found it very interesting. Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 7:09:19 AM   There are also differences according to regions. Many cultures within its boundaries. ... :) Okay, let's let it go... figgis Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 8:36:38 AM   Intersting reference about eye contact, The British army superiors use eye contact as a method of finding whether they can break a man. I worked in a company that used methods to make their staff submissive, methods like comanding the conversation by making sure that they were always above the people they were talking to and to look down at them while they were talking, this method forces eye contact and makes the staff submissive. My girl reprimanded me for whistling while in Ukraine, can not wait for her to come here i am going to whistle like a canary and wear my shoes to bed. Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 10:35:20 AM   figgis, I am thinking that I will have to remove the carpets and put down new throughout the house. They have been walked on wearing 'outside' shoes. I can't wait to tell everyone coming to the party that they all have to take off their shoes and wear house slippers... I'll have to stock up on various sizes for the guests. Amazing that some women will not be seen in public unless they have the latest fashion hi-heeld shoes. But as soon as they enter the house, they put on the slippers and shrink four inches. figgis Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 12:45:44 PM   i noticed that also, as soon as she enters the apartment thats it shoes off, its a good tradition but quite funny to see a huge pile of shoes at the front door belonging to visitors. Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 1:04:34 PM   Australia Man, You have to come to my next party!!!!!!! durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/17/2009 11:41:29 PM   For what it's worth, my observations of body language, based on personal experience (cumulatively, a few months in Sankt Peterburg, Kyiv, and Moscow) ... I guess that one of the reasons men here are looking for partners in the FSU (rather than other countries where women are interested in marrying a Western guy) is that Russian culture is substantially European, and for this reason many things are similar to what we already know. Because I'm a "murrikan," my comparisons are with American culture as I know it. All this being said, some differences I noticed: The most obvious difference, already noted, is that people almost never smile to adult strangers -- smiles are reserved for familiars, and sometimes, strangers who happen to be small children. Reflexive smiling identifies a person as American -- I read an account by a Russian guy who, after living a few years in the US, was taken for an American when visiting Russia, because he had absorbed the habit of smiling. I've noticed about men, that their stance and gait are typically more "macho" than I am used to in America. I believe that this partly reflects a greater emphasis on sports and physical fitness, but also the importance of projecting an impressive physical presence. George W. Bush (lately president of my suffering country) affected a walk with his arms held out a bit, rather than hanging by his sides -- it makes you look a little bigger, a sort of "tough guy" posture. I notice this often among Russian men. I have also noticed about men that when greeting male friends, they express their warmth physically, with a lot more touching/embracing than I am used to. My observation about body language of women (again stating the obvious), is primarily that (on the average, there being lots of variation) they are much more restrained, graceful and generally dignified than I am used to see at home. Not very often, but occasionally I see young women (late teens and twenties) walking in public holding hands, sometimes with each other, and sometimes with their moms). Probably, you were looking for some information on gestural language of interpersonal communication. If so, this post will disappoint ... but I have one gesture to teach :) Make a sort of circle by putting your thumb on top of the fingernail of your middle finger, hold your hand near your neck (a little to the side of your "Adam's apple", and "snap" the finger out from under your thumb, so it drums on your neck. Do this twice in quick succession. This is Russian sign language meaning, "let's go drink some alcohol." This was repeatedly demonstrated to me by a guy right outside a metro station in Kyiv (where I was waiting to meet a woman). He was very keen that I change his Euro note to Hryvnia, to be spent on vodka... Of course, the Russian-speaking world has something like 300 million people, covers vast geography, and has many, many ethnicities and cultures. For example, I have heard that in the southern regions with their substantial Islamic/Turkic populations, people tend to be more friendly and less formal than in the Russian north. figgis Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 4:12:57 AM   Here is one tradition that i was not aware about, my girl made me walk her out of every building before i went home, I had to cross the threshold of every door with her at her home and even at the Airport she made me walk her out the door before she would say her goodbyes to me. Is anyone aware of this tradition and what does it mean, my girl gave a reference to good luck. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 11:48:05 AM   Don't forget about the Topkey (slippers) it's rude to walk barefooted and in stocking feet in their homes. Figgis, they have some strange customs It wouldn't surprise me in the least. Before we leave on any extended trip we sit together and hold hands for an extended period of silence. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 1:55:22 PM   figgis, this girl is Ukrainian? Russians in general seem to be a lot more superstitious (or more connected to folk customs, depending how you like to put it) than I am used to in America, and this seems to go double in Ukraine. A Ukrainian custom that I thought rather sweet, is not to "sweep up" after a guest, until you get word that they have safely returned home. Lockland Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 2:28:46 PM   Man I was video chat per minute with this one girl on Aweb & she was eating a banana on one hand & drinking milkshake on another, she wasn't typing at all, like she gave a F*** I had to abort the chat as it was costing. God knows what was her reason to accept my chat ??? figgis Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 3:20:02 PM   Yes she is Ukrainian, i think maybe she has some Russian blood in her family. I am British and descend from Romany Gypsy blood and we are a very superstitious family. It is good to adhere to the local traditions. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 4:42:12 PM   Is it rude or is it for health that they don't go barefoot? My gf was alright with her daughter walking barefoot on the carpet, but not on the cold floor of the kitchen. Me, I didn't bring slippers and she asked me if I was alright going barefoot. I said I was. nasfan6 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 7:21:05 PM   Actually as my wife put it, it is both. Uncultured people as she says walk barefoot in a home. In our home there is not carpet because many there consider carpet unsanitary. I guess I was uncultured, I never wore slippers in my house until I met her. Just something she brought from Ukraine with many other customs I have gotten used to over time. Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 7:50:18 PM   actually carpets capture a lot of disgusting materials from the outside world -- interesting that it makes so much sense when you think about it... simple logic that seems strange to an outsider... but in reality it makes a hell of a lot of sense - just like the japs do... :) RB-- good for you to go barefoot. but I can't imagine there being a stanley steemer service there for after you left. poor girl must have spent a week on her hands and knees.... Come to think about it, I don't recall an apartment in all of Kiev that had carpertting as we do in the US of A. And my Russian lady has hardwood (sort of) floors in the apartment. Is it a wonder why so many americans have asthma and get colds and sinus infections all the time? Intereseting. I think I will apply for a grant from obama to study this. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 8:18:46 PM   Hey Julian. You said you worked with special needs kids. Do you separate them by race? The black ones are dirty, the brown ones are not as dirty, the white ones are the best. Not only that, the white ones understand things best. Rag'n'Bull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 8:31:22 PM   I came across something unsantitary for 2.5 years of my life, just working on a website "Hemel Hempstead Escort" so other(s) may learn from the error of my ways :) Harvey Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 11/18/2009 10:51:44 PM   RB- think about your comment, then get back to me Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Body language, mannerisms & other such things
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