Ok, I'm a newbie here & don't have the right to venture out too far. I've wandered around some of the posts & many seem rather grim right now. I'd like to ask from anyone who will offer, some feedback on a couple of topics. What originally brought you to this concept of meeting/dating foreign women? What was the appeal that was enough for you to set out on this quest? It's not an easy one by far so there must have been something you saw that was what you had been looking for. Some of you have been working diligently at it for some time so there must be the conviction of the effort being worthwhile There must be a truly positive aspect to all this or this forum would be empty.
Me - in a snapshot. Divorce came as a surprise & I decided it would be a slow day in hell before I ever went thru that again. Focused on raising my daughters. Daughters raised, gone onto life _ house empty & bleak. After a few years of 'whoa is me' & way too many microwave meals it occurred to me if I wanted anything better out of life it wasn't going to fall out of the sky. Not much of a drinker anymore & never have been too keen on idea of finding Mrs. Right in the local bar. Tried a couple of US dating sites There's a good way to put yourself on the therapists couch. Women on those forums & chat rooms carping about where all the good men have gone. Then you try to contact them & when they do reply your confronted w/ a spotless list of requirements, their needs for fulfillment. And if your not a blend of Donald Trump & Robert Redford plus a complete submissive - nice talking to ya'. Perfectly good men give it their best shot only to walk away shaking their heads.
Stumbled upon my 1st 'Dating site" about 2nd week of Oct.. I was stunned. Not that there were perfectly good men seeking quality women, that fit right in place after experience I just described. After this exposure & doing a little bit of research (ok, on the cultures & process itself, not enough on that 1st site) It was nice to know that there were still some women out there whose cultural concepts of love, relationships...marriage Had not yet been twisted back on itself like I was finding at home. Now after some early fumbling mistakes, some education...I know it's a hard task of weeding thru all the dirt & coal to find 1 itty-bitty rough diamond. But I'm still convinced the possible prize is still worth the effort.
Am I wrong??? Let me know.
"What originally brought you to this concept of meeting/dating foreign women?"
I'm sure I have things in common with many men on the site, but a way that I'm different from most is that I developed a passion for travel to Russia and Ukraine, years before I considered looking for a mate there. By accident, I fell in love with a friend over there (who did not return my romantic feelings). During my doomed campaign to win her heart, I thought a lot about caring for her and her child, bringing them to my country (USA), helping them in the transition to life in a foreign land, and maintaining the family connections back home. I decided that I could become a fine international husband and father.
When I saw that my dream about her would never come true, I thought, "maybe there's some other Russian-speaking girl out there, who would deeply value what I have to offer." And so my search began...
"What was the appeal that was enough for you to set out on this quest?"
1) Women over there are more receptive to marriage with an older man, than women over here (this is sometimes hotly debated on this forum and elsewhere, my personal conclusion is that within limits, it is true). Because of my age and desire to father a baby, this is a vital consideration for me.
2) Women over there seem to be much more attentive (and less ego-driven) as mothers, compared to women over here (on average). If I start a family, I need my wife to be an excellent mom.
3) The FSU women who come to the dating websites include a high proportion that are not only very hardworking (necessary in poorer countries), but also really impressively educated and accomplished. For someone with my enthusiasms, a beautiful young woman who also happens to smoothly manage a large commercial real estate operation, work as a scientist, or have a degree from a music conservatory ... Wow! So many of them have first-class English language skills -- and those who don't, because of their strong educational background and habits of discipline, can learn their new language well.
4) Because of my love for the culture and regions, the notion of an international family life, including regular trips back to the old country, appeals to me. Hand-in-glove with this, I could not ask a woman to completely give up seeing her family and friends back home -- even if she is willing, it is awfully painful.
5) I started studying Russian language about one year after my first visit. My Russian is still very simple, but I think it's a real help in getting to know someone. And because of experience traveling there, going to an unfamiliar city to make a meeting is something I can handle confidently. If I were searching in Colombia or Thailand, my years of Russian study wouldn't be of much use ;)
6) And of course, there are some might pretty gals over there. More deeply, attitudes about health, diet, and physical culture are VERY different from America. Women take care of their health in ways that are much less common in the US, and this is really important to me. And if I should be lucky enough to marry a woman who likes traditional cooking, she will be feeding me (and more importantly, our children) an excellent diet based on whole foods.
bgpa -- you are not wrong. I can give a long list list of why I tried this. Just happens after a guy at work heard my horror stories of recent women and that I said I was through playing the games he suggested I look into a Russian gal. I had no idea of all that was going on and that there were all of 'these' sites. It never crossed my mind and I balked at the idea. Glad I looked into it. I met a true gem of a person. But you have to put in the work. And most of the work involves trying to find a genuine woman. Well worth it I think.
Interesting since I posted above I recieved an email from a lady in Kiev. Just checking in to see how I was doing and what has been going on. I told her about my russian girl, K1 approved etc. and that all is well. A pretty young lady and one who has become a 'friend'. Genuinely nice person who is definitely not a scammer. They are there. Too young for me at 30.
Jump in am hang on,,, You're going to fit right in. I have come the same path in my attempt to find a life partner. A woman that will give the same as she receives. A rare thing to find in the states sorry to say. "Married With Children" was supposed to be a comedy,,,, not a way of life.
It is about quality not quantity for me. Not into the bar scene either and there are many many scammers there also. At the very least now with a little knowledge gained the scammers on line are more easily spotted.
The values of marriage and family are still strong and alive in the FSU and I think most women there do not have the desire to join the feminist ranks.
They for the most part they are looking for exactly what I am willing to give and I in turn am looking for exactly what they are willing to give. I feel like it is Win Win. The worst aspect that I have found is that you are not just going to jump in the car and go for a visit.
It takes planning and commitment and after being married for 14 years. Planning and commitment are my middle names.
I will be going over to Ukraine in February BGPA to meet one woman not a harem as some would suggest. It is just not me to play the field and personally I would suggest to any one, you show some commitment to 1 woman and you will not be disappointed. At least I have not.
OH yeah And don't forget BOOBS man BOOBS Just kidding. people need to lighten up around this joint.
You were just kidding about BOOBS? You don't like them?
Durak, we have the same story. We are about the same age. I feel healthy and feel I still have time to raise a kid. I fell in love with an FSU two years ago. I didn't realize this until I left her. By then, it was too late. I had offended her for leaving. I probably didn't have a chance anyway. I'll tell the story again later.
We always ASSUME our lady wants to move to where we are. But you know, moving to Nikoleav & becoming an agency photographer would not be the worst thing to happen in life. :)Kidding
I am the same re: quality vs. quantity. I know it is likely best to correspond w/ as many as possible. I just can't work that way - that's just me. I narrowed down to a very select group & in a time zeroed in on 1 to focus my energies on. So far it appears I have been fortunate & my instincts correct. We'll have to see. I also know potential of having put all my eggs in 1 basket (in a manner of speaking)
During my first two of three months of initial correspondence, I initated contact with about 40 women and only communicated with no more than 10 at any one time. I soon whittled this down to a hand full of very nice ladies, any one at the time could have been it.
Then one came through loud and clear (by being not loud and clear but just real and consistent) and we both agreed to meet and correspond exclusively. I politely dropped that others and continued with the one while we planned our meeting trip. Then we met, about 3-1/2 months after beginning our correspondence.
Next Monday she hops on the plane so we can be together forever.
I think that's the way to go, bgpa. I visited went to visit three different women on three different occasions. I was warned of doing that, but I can't see leaving a woman in the middle of a trip to go see another if it was working out. I had back ups. I told them exactly what I was doing and I might call them. I never did.
may be it is a question of promotion?
Why have you decided to join all the sites? Why do you think that all these women want to marry anyone?
you were told, that foreign soviet countries have lots of beauties. it is true. But why do you think, that they are for you?
look around. People prefere to marry in the country where they live. it is natural.
"look around. People prefere to marry in the country where they live. it is natural." Uhhh maybe you might want to stop a second & let the memory creep in of just what forum your in...or do you antagonize so many you use track? See those little numbers at the bottom of the page? The ones that count up to 209? That is how many pages there are of posts that blatantly (go get your dictionary) contradict what you just said. Sigh...you can't cure stupid.
Think just a minute. There could not be so many. quite a lot are success stories....there would not be the explosion in investment of Dating sites....women would not waste the effort, cost of photo shoots, agencies now in so many cities... if there were not many successes to fuel it.
Industries do not begin & expnd...service markets flourish, if there is not a great deal of success stories to support it. These complex web sites are not scribbled on paper. Companies, the staff necessary to maintain & expand, do not simply appear. People w/ capital to invest see opportunity to fulfill a demand & they create a service to facilitate the demand. And FSU women would not give so much effort if they had not personally heard the success stories of others. They do not have the time for folls errands. Scammers are opportunists that latch onto already successful ventures & seek to pull what they can from it. ie...they come in 2nd. They have neither the $ or motivation to create such things.
Sigh...I'm wasting my time.
Olga, help me out here. You must be silly & bored to take part in such a waste of time. For after all; "look around. People prefere to marry in the country where they live. it is natural."