I was almost on the verge of giving up, but i had one more girl i wanted to meet. She lived in Kharkov. At one point i thought i had lost her,because
she did not reply to one e-mail i sent,so i forgot about her. But after one month she wrote me, asking where i was and why i stopped writing her.
It seems like she never got the last e-mail i sent , so i was glad to hear from her again. She said she wanted to get to know me better, and that
it was necessary that we met. So i booked flights and an apartment in Kharkov and was on my way slightly paranoid after my disaster-trips to Zapo.
She came to the apartment ,rang the bell and looked even better than the photos. So far so goood!! We walked to a cafe nearby and had some food.
After, we walked back to the apartment and had some wine,listened to some music and talked.
After she went home, i sat there quite shocked and surprised. Not one single taxi ride! Not one trip to an expensive restaurant!!
The next day she came and we walked to the same cafe, but it was closed. So we decide to walk back to the apartment and order food.
We ordered sushi,pizza and barbecue. A total of 400 UAH. We ate ,talked and drank wine and champagne (that i brought) and had a great time.
In the short two days we spent together i used only 1000 UAH on food and drinks!! Not one taxi trip and no restaurants. She told me it was better to stay
in the apartment, because we could talk freely without disturbance. My paranoia was gone with the wind. What an extremely different experience this was.
She was very easy to speak with and had a great sense of humor. I was just waiting for the red flags,but i never saw any.
I went home and called her on the phone, asking if she would like me to come back, and she would. I asked her if it was ok that i came back in 30 days.
It was ok, so i booked new trip and made reservation for the same apartment. But after i booked the trip she e-mailed me telling me she was going to her
cousins wedding that weekend, and asked if i could come the week before or the one after.
I had booked economy-class tickets ,so i was not able to change them. So i thought 1000 USD was lost. I wrote back telling her about the unchangeable
tickets and prayed for the best. She then wrote me and told me that she would not go to the wedding and that she would wait for me in Kharkov.
I was of course very happy!!
I went back and the same happened. No taxi,no restaurants,no nightclubs and no shopping. Spent almost no money on food and drinks. Stayed in
apartment and drank wine and ate and talked about everything. This might sound strange to you guys,but i was very glad that she did not instigate
sex on any of my visits. I would have been way too early and inappropriate. I asked her for a kiss and she said :only on my cheek,because it was too
early for any other type of kissing. And it was fine by me, because i had such a great time and wanted to treat her with respect.
At least she was not trying to get me hooked with sex and kissing before i went home again.
Because she dropped the wedding and saved me from booking new tickets ,i offered to buy her a diamond ring when i came the second time.
But she told me she would much rather have a digital camera, so i bought her one. I don´t know much about Ukrainian customs ,but i guess you
are expected to attend weddings in your close family if you are able. Am i right? So dropping her cousins wedding was probably a big decision to make??
I am currently waiting for her to get Skype installed on her Laptop. She bought a laptop just a few days ago.She has been saving for it for a long time
and also just got a bonus from work. So we are going to communicate on Skype (hopefully) while we plan our next and longer meeting.
So here´s my question: Do you see any red flags here?? Am i missing something?? :-) Or am i maybe communicating with someone real and serious??
I would greatly appreciate you comments and thoughts about this situation. BTW, i am 42 years old, she´s 28. I am 183 cm and skinny. No beer-belly here :-)
Hej, dude from Norway.
I am from Sweden. I have also contact whit some girls from Ukraine, Kharkov.
We have contact each other for now about a week, and she want me to come
to her in new year.
Is it something I should think about? I am 36 whit turkish roots, but I grew
up in Sweden. How is Ukraine, do I think to much or should i just join the adventure?
Please reply.
Norwaydude, this time you are really lucky. I've known many scams and some happy ends, and my experience says that your story is going to have a happy end, no red flags yet. Still you can check her using an investigating service.
Norwaydude, Thanks for writing your story. As I read through, I was thinking, "yes, uh-huh, sounds familiar, been down that road..." You have covered some of the 'bases' of this dating experience that a lot of other men have also experienced.
Although spending so much money on vampires is not much fun, I think you're doing OK! You've gotten some education, and have already met a woman who sounds fine. I agree with Armin, she seems like a 'real girl.'
Months back, I wrote here that first meetings usually cost me either hundreds of dollars, or less than 15 dollars. Real honest-to-goodness women in that part of the world, as far as I have seen, are very thrifty and cost-conscious -- they have to be! I know from my own experience, and stories from other men, that many of them will try to save YOUR money: they'll make good suggestions about the cheapest places to shop, etc.
For me, taking it slow and easy about physical contact is great. I'm searching for a woman to spend the rest of my life with, and a sexual adventure on the first day wouldn't help my confidence about seriousness in the long term.
Maybe you have struck gold! I hope you will keep us all posted.
Thank you guys for your comments and input. baron555 , She just bought her laptop,so talking on the phone and e-mails was the
only option for communication before my second trip. And in my opinion nothing can substitute a face-to-face meeting. Especially
when it is a girl that you REALLY like after the first meeting. The first meeting was only two days, and i wanted to go back
and meet her again as soon as possible after the first time. She is probably the most feminine woman i have ever met.
She has a very girly voice and when she said to me: You very fuuuunyy! i melted like a pound of butter in the microwave.
The apartment was on Lenina ave. and cost only 55 Euro per day. My friends went crazy and warned me about getting killed or mugged
when i said i was going to Ukraine alone. But the scariest moment is when you land in Kiev and the Taxi drivers offer their
services. :-) Maybe if they were a little less agressive and looked a little more friendly they could get some customers.
I felt more safe in Ukraine than i do in Oslo, the capitol of Norway.
Of course after the trips to Zaporozhye i was paranoid as hell when i went to Kharkov. Lucky for me i managed to let it go
quickly so i didn`t spoil the meeting with this girl. I think this site has a lot of good info on what not to do and what
to look for.
Muratti, i would maybe communicate with her for more than one week before i decide what to do. I had about four months of
e-mailing with this girl before i went to meet her. Your gut-feeling is most important. Does it feel right?
I hope you guys are right, and that this time i have found a flower in the ukraine swamp.
Muratti. Yes, i am from Norway. A few things i forgot to mention that may be interesting to know.
My initial plan was to stay in a hotel in Kharkov, but she wrote me that she WOULD NOT stay with me in any hotel.
I understand that this was because she did not want to be mistaken for a prostitute. (i think)
She did not meet me at the airport. First i was a little unsure about that choice, but thinking about it for a while
it made sense. My plane arrived 22:45 in Kharkov , so her plan to come to the apartment the next morning
was a better plan than mine. I was dead tired when i arrived anyway after a whole day traveling.
She came to the apartment 40 minutes late, so when we discussed meeting the next day, i said: Well, don´t be late tomorrow.
She looked at me with her puppy eyes and said: But i am a woman. It is expected of me to be late....... it was a priceless moment.
You cant get much more feminine than that! :-)
She don´t drink alcohol very often. When i visited her the second time she told me she had not tasted alcohol since my last visit.
She is more into drinking tea and coffee, because she works out at the gym two hours every day , and told me alcohol and
working out did not combine very well.
I asked her if any other men had come to her city to meet her, and she said no. She had a few that she almost met,but told me that
she ended up telling them: Maybe better you don´t come.. She said they were very commanding and demanding about were to meet
and what to do. She looked at me and said that some had tried to impress her with how much money they had, whilst rolling her eyes.
Obviously she was not impressed. :-)
She also told me that together with me, she felt free, and that it was very important for her because she is an independent woman.
And she also knows that i want her to work and have a career if we marry. This is also important for her as she has a very high education.
The first time i met her i was so overwhelmed by her beauty and femininity that i completely forgot to take a single picture....
I was lectured on this by a Russian woman -- if a man keeps a woman waiting (at least, before they know each other very well), she will be deeply offended. But she can arrive as late as she likes. These are 'the rules.'
"overwhelmed by her beauty and femininity"
Be careful, my friend. Men become stupid in such situations, and beautiful women know this very well.