"I want to love and be loved without my wallet entering the equation"
the past couple ladies I dated here in the US of A were more concerned about the wallet than anything else. The last one who had much more than I, expected me to pay for everything always no questions. But of course, 'I have some trees that need to be cut down and need some land cleared. And get firewood...' and drive to pick me up but I can't drive to your neck of the woods. Unless it is to park here while we go on some excursion to another city. And of course always on my dime. F-that.
It is my opinion that the 'upfront' investment will pay dividends much further down the road. I have already realised how much less I am going to spend on superfulous bullshit in the coming year. And that in fact I will eat great and spend a lot less to do it. There are many other areas of living that I will spend less. Of course I am not in to FSU dating as some exclaim. I was looking for a partner. I could date here, there or anywhere. My goal was to find a woman who was completely on my level yet who was not mentally and emotionally trashed by the American way of life. If it costs a few hundred for a translation device - I do not have one - then it is worth it. If I have to spend a few thousand travelling to sort things out, then it is worth it. As insulting as some have indicated, this is not a mail order bride thing. This is a quest to find a compatible companion. And if you are concerned about the few dollars of upfront money you have to spend, then you are thinking this is like shooting fish in a barrel. Hell, i just ran out to drop a couple hundy on a new camera. Only because I am visiting a part of the world that is fantastic and very very few will ever see. Of course if not for a lady I would never even think to visit this part of the world. But it is money spent on enjoying life. ENJOY LIFE! Someties it costs a few bucks. And if you are fortunate enough to meet someone who you get along with and wish to spend your life with, good deal. But if you are just penny pinching and hoping to find some desparate woman from the bargain basement, then go to Wisconsin or somewhere. I'm sure I'll here shit about Wisconsin.
BUT OF COURSE, SURE --- THERE ARE THOSE THAT ARE PLAYING A GAME OF THIS. YOU JUST NEED TO WEED THEM OUT.
don't put down your own country women too much. it does not reflect well on you. an alternative, just be positive about ukranian women, i.e. i am enraptured by their beauty and level of sophistication, blah, blah....
don't overthink the situation...
its a foregone conclusion that during the second meeting, their will be intercourse.
so if she agrees to meet you again, she probably likes you. even a scammer would think twice about wasting someone's time and money twice.
by the way,
if she EVER asks you for money for ANYTHING, before your next meeting, drop her immediately and move on.
by the by,
don't put all your eggs in one basket. she isn't.
gecko -- funny thing, I was looking at video I had taken in Kiev. For the most part, the average woman there was just that, average. The women you see on dating sites I think do not represent the whole of the society. Just an obvservation. But I also noticed it just being out in public. Sure there are the delicious ladies - and that is what you see. But just as many average or less than average looking women. I think that if you go to the mountain looking for a certain rare indigenous plant, you fail to see all of the other flora. I have noticed that men critisize a site that does not have knock out drop dead gorgeous women all over the place. Yet they also bark at the sites that do. Look back through the archives and you will see that I am correct. It seems they aren't good enough or too good to be true. Maybe the men are not thinking with their brains mostof the time. It seems to be a contest to land the hot Russian babe or Ukranian babe. And an anolgy comes to mind. Those that say winning millions in the lottery won't change their life. Then after a few years they squander it and are broke and destitute. Go for the good investment, not the get rich quick scheme. That's all I'm sayin...
It was not my intention to paint a negative picture of the FSU 'Marriage Intro' (I am not here to 'Date') process. I am still here & committed. Rather to give a reality check to guys coming in seeing 100s of pics of gorgeous eye candy after hearing stories of Russian women just dying to flee their homes to become your grateful wife. There's an old saying; 'Count the cost before you lay a brick'. I'm like you & looking for a partner, a woman who at 1st meeting her very 1st words are; 'what do you drive?" Who doesn't know what that really means. And when I say I pulled up in this old pick up truck I really love...well, the conversation comes to a quick end. You know my situation is a bit unique; small tourist town. I was just sayin' that maybe if you live in a larger area with many women (they are not ALL bad) that maybe you should weigh the real facts before leaping in.
No offense intended.
Baron, I'd be interested to know your fiance's take on these girls, as I've also spoken to girls in their late twenties who think they're way too young to be 'tied down' yet (in addition to others at the same age who think they're too old to get any local interest).
Regarding your RW I was just curious to know her opinion on a sensible age for a RW to get married and settle down. It just seems strange to me that there's such differing opinions among young girls over there - some are desperate to marry as soon as possible, others don't seem bothered at all. I'm trying to get a feel for the prevailing opinion over there on the subject. I get the feeling it's changed over the last decade or so, so I like to get opinions of women of different ages. I'm a researcher by nature.
I was able to broach this subject with Alla this past weekend; here's some of her comments.
First off, "Everyone is different", as she likes to say. How can she talk about someone else without knowing them first?
Anyway, 19 year old young women in Russia are the same as 19 year old young women in any country. With the Internet and TV and the Movies and everything else, the world is very small; they know all about everything everywhere. So they have the same desires and ambitions and hopes as any other 19 year old in any country. They will be finishing their basic university schooling and those that long for a family will be in the frame of mind. Many will find very nice young Russian men and start their new lives together. A foreign man will offer nothing extra versus what the young educated Russian men offer. Keep this in mind. And yes many will not want to commit so early in life; they have many opportunities to see the world while they are young and have the energy.
Now many of these marriages will not last, usually because of issues involving the men. The women left from these divorces will usually offer the best chance of a new life with a new man; but the man must have something to offer. Nothing is automatic. It is a myth that the Russian women are dying to leave their nice country. It is a myth.
Some of these women will have a child. These will offer the best chance to involve a foreign man. But the child will come first and the man must have something solid to offer for both. Nothing again is automatic.
Many older women will have grownup children who are divorced. These also will offer the best chance.
And large age differences are just that; most of these women will NOT want a large age difference (unless they are gold diggers and you are a sugar daddy).
So the "best" age for a woman to be interested in a foreign man?
27-45, and with a child
And no age difference more than 10 years (even though we ourselves violate this).
Finally remember the myth: They are not dying to leave, especially for a foreign man. (So gents, YOU have to be really special to get even noticed.)
The advantages, if you can play?
More healthy lifestyle. More traditional about keeping the family as number one (as long as you the man are willing to be traditional and not like your Russian counterparts.) Younger looking than the age. Wanting to be your best friend. Just the usual actually.
"I want to love and be loved without my wallet entering the equation"
By this quote of mine I merely meant the fact that "Once" I believed I have made such a strong connection with the women I would hopefully spend the rest of my life together with her in hard and bad times along with the good and happy times, but she will be by my side. I don't mind one bit traveling the difficult path I have chosen for myself and to do all I must in order to make a good life together for the women I have feelings for.
I have heard stories of ladies leaving there man once they have been established in there new home provided by the guy. Usually from what I read, the reasoning is that now she don't need him and in search of someone she thinks she could have a stronger connection with.
I consider myself the other side of the coin in comparison with most of the individuals that are in search for the similar things as I am. I am the young single guy that wants to make a fresh start and future with the lady I have feelings for and will do all I must and more to ensure we are both happy and accepting of each others different backgrounds. Though I don't make most likely near the amount of you all in your 30+ age range, but I will put every last bit of coin I earn into this relationship because I feel and believe this is what I want in life.
My entire reason for creating this topic was to get feedback on my meeting and what others might think. It was my first meeting and my entire trip soul purpose was to meet and get to know her more then just our communication through letters could allow. On one hand I think it is better to wait and not get to physical because that tells me that with all the fun time we had with each other, the fact that I am in a rather good age range for her, we share similar backgrounds and our mindset is near the same way of thinking and not separated by 10-20+ years of events that could totally alter the way we think and interpret the world... that when you take all that and my physical stature is a overall healthy being and not overweight or have any disfigurements... that we would be a very compatible couple and if she prefers to wait to get more physical with me, then I see that as a sign of respect and faithfulness that I find very warm to the heart and soul. So it creates a bond of trust that will better enhance our relationship together. Kinda like the forbidden fruit, the longer you wait the more desirable it is etc.
On the other hand she could just be a tease and having fun without any thought or notion as to what I just described. That would suck yea... but I don't believe it to be so. I was just curious to hear what other people would make of this. My attempt to figure out if I am in a tunnel vision and if so to escape before I regret it.