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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > need an advice... Author Post Dream_on Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/2/2010 9:26:29 AM   Good daytime, gentlemen! Didn't already know whom to ask, decided to post here... i found myself in a very complicated situation, and extremely need objective opinion and advice... I'm, what you call, a russian girl in my early 20-s. Couple om month ago a pleasent man from Holland wrote me, and a correspondence began. First it was just friendly penpal, then, a month ago, i understood i like him very much. It seemed to be mutual. We were meeting in the messenger almost everyday, had very good time talking to each other, exchanged mobile numbers, he wrote me nice smses, wished good night and so on. We were talking about a meeting irl in my city.. I started to feel that i'm not interested in anybody else, stopped visitind that dating site, and my thoughts were only about that man. He also didn't extend his membership there longer, was saying that he likes me and correspond only with me, sent nice greeting cards on my e-mail... I was in the seventh heaven because of happiness The strange began couple of weeks ago, before winter holidays. He started to come to messenger more and more seldom, explaining it with lots of things to do for holidays. Once i didn't hear of him for more then 3 days, got no single sms ... And then even if he appeared online, he did it for very short time. I don't claim for all his free time, don't mean to spend it chatting with me, but i believe, if one likes another, he'll find some time to send an sms, to ask, how'are you.. he should be interested in what's happening with the person, he likes. Not very pleasent things were happening with me. I had to meet NY alone on some reasons, was very upset and wanted to talk to him, to feel some support, just to spend some little time in his company...During several last days i was wakeing up, hoping to get an sms from him and going to sleep with depression, because i didn't get any. Yes, he greeted me with New Year, sent few words in the messenger and an sms, but...it sounded more suitable for one of hundreds mates in the contactlist, not for a girl one likes ... I was hinting, that i'd like to get bit more attention from him... But it was vain. Yesterday i didn't hear from him too, and prepare myself not to hear today and tomorrow, and till the next time the weather goes bad and he has nothing to do in the evening, but spend it near laptop I don't want to be obtrusive. He keeps silence, so do i... But my heart is heavy. Especially when i read on some boards, how in same times men call their ladies, send postcards, flowers, sms several times a day ... Maybe it's difference in temper, national character or signes of zodiak, but i really need more attantion, then he gives... I condider myself to be even more then attractive, an interesting person to talk with, i had hundreds of interests from other men on that site... but just lost my head with him. Maybe, he's tired of our communication ? but why not to tell me this ? Several days ago i asked, whether something has changed in his attitiude to me. No, he said, nothing was wrong... So i don't know ... Give please your opinions ... Land of oz Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/2/2010 1:16:03 PM   Dream on. This is a very complicated question and no answers can be guaranteed right. A long distance relationship is difficult to maintain and trust is hard when you have never met. Men think a little different than women do but both have somewhat of a monthly cycle. Women feel unloved for a few days and have a need to bottom out so that they can again give and receive love from their partner while men just have a few days that they just need space (to get away for a period to think) after which they will return ready to give and receive again. Men also handle problems different. They need to figure them out by themselves and may withdraw as they do this until they have a solution. If a woman has a problem she wants to talk about it. But when everything is said and done you can imagine the very best and you can imagine the very best and the truth will be somewhere in the middle. I think the best advice to give you is to use your intuition. What you have seen of this man, what you know of him, and what you feel in your heart are the only tools you have to get you through or out of this relationship. I know it must be very difficult for you especially when you have made the sacrifice to communicate with him exclusively. And only time will reassure you that you have made the right choice. I wish you the very best!!! Land of oz Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/2/2010 1:18:29 PM   Correction: But when everything is said and done you can imagine the very best and you can imagine the very worst and the truth will be somewhere in the middle. gecko Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/2/2010 2:20:00 PM   he's not that into you. Muzzy Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/2/2010 4:15:02 PM   dream on, check your Private Messages Bob Johnson Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/2/2010 10:20:15 PM   Dream On it is very hard to say especially without knowing more information about him. Has he ever traveled to Russia? Maybe he started liking you and then realized what all was involved with that and decided he could not get that serious and did not have intentions of following through. As is stated on this board most guys don't actually ever get on the plane and go meet a lady. Or maybe he found someone else. Your young and attractive so you have have plenty of opportunity to meet someone else. As difficult as it may be i would take your focus off of this guy and start to move on. Maybe he will come back and things will be ok but at least you will have started to looking forward to other guys. baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/4/2010 9:01:07 AM   Maybe, he's tired of our communication ? but why not to tell me this ? Typical male reaction. You are young and still have this to learn. Maybe he is just busy or maybe he is onto other pursuits. Don't fall so quickly for someone that you haven't met in person. Centaur Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/4/2010 9:50:29 AM   Sometimes for men its just the thrill of the chase, and once caught they lose interest. My advice to you, move on, you are the most important person in the world, and remember it takes time to sort out all the weeds from the flowers. So be patient. Dream_on Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/4/2010 11:33:07 AM   Thank you for the answers! i wanted to know men's opinion... yes, women and men often see one problem in opposite ways )) And when i think of some excuses like being out of monyey on mobile account or smth like that, he can just date another girl and not think of me at all.. though i still hope it's not so ... I understand, that i can't get into his thoughts and know for sure, so only time can show, or it all may last untill i lose patience and start searching myself again .. devilmaycare Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/4/2010 3:32:03 PM   "novem godem" dream on ... I'm sorry to say I think its pretty much universally true that a drop off in communication means only one thing - a waning of interest. Were forever advising other men not to get emotionally involved before a face to face meeting but I guess the same advice applies to the ladies as well. I wish you luck in your search anyway, even though your position is currently a sad one, the fact that a serious woman like yourself exists will give the men on here some hope for the future. PROBOWLER900 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/4/2010 5:49:58 PM   I'd like to offer a different thought on the matter. Maybe the guy in question has gotten comfortable. I know from other experiences I have had is once you know that a relationship is on a bit of solid ground people will get into a comfort zone. I have found that with myself that I won't answer emails everyday or every other day once I got comfortable it would be 3 to 4 days. Maybe when during the courting stage he would always email you back right away and send you sms to show you he wanted to be with you. Now you have said you want to be exclusive to him only so now he is comfortable. Which will always lead itself back to his own true ways. It could be nothing that his interest has really waned or he could be just comfortable knowing he has a steady relationship with you. Just thought I'd put that perspective out there. gecko Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/4/2010 6:19:13 PM   as great as the internet is for bringing people together, its equally as good in losing people. its hard to maintain focus with so many options. Aneurysm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/4/2010 7:39:29 PM   My thoughts are this... The site I use to communicate with my lady is a pay per letter type. I usually try to only send 1 letter and receive 1 letter each week so it don't cost me an arm and a leg in expenses. During the waiting period I am able to have a variety of things happen and to talk about them in the next letter. This imo creates just enough tension to keep things interesting and not get lost is just lovey dovy chatting. Best of luck! baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/6/2010 8:22:57 AM   But, it is will a pay per letter. Do you think you will ever be able to stop paying? Or are you destined to pay forever? You are being ripped off very much but if that melts your butter, go for it. Aneurysm Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/6/2010 11:32:56 AM   "But, it is will a pay per letter. Do you think you will ever be able to stop paying? Or are you destined to pay forever? " Well I am working on some possible solutions in the near future. My last visit I was snowed in the city and I attempted to use my laptop to check some info online but I found out something was really bogging down my connection and I couldn't go to a single site. My next trip I will visit her home and hopefully figure out "if" her family has a computer sufficient enough to use for online purposes and "if" they can receive internet from that location in the first place. If possible I will help her set up a means to communicate at her home. I question her means of internet where she lives cause I know she lives far from Nikolaev City (20ish min drive in good conditions) and do not know what is offered in terms of services as yet. For the moment she makes a trip to her agency to drop off her letter for them to forward to me some time during the day while she is at the university. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/6/2010 12:14:15 PM   Good expression. I have never heard it. If it melts your butter.... I also used a pay per letter site. I understood the concept of taking her out of the site, but found we needed the site for translation purposes. baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/6/2010 1:31:25 PM   Translations can also be done by yourself. I did my own for a number of women with whom I first corresponded and many did their own using the online translators. Those that refuse, IMHO, are in on the game to strip you of your money. The first rule of this game is to remove the lady from the agency. Any lady that will not do that should be dropped and another found. Many men here feel the need to stick to this and many will then later complain when all they have is less money in their wallet to show for their effort. Some have been successful but most likely more, who go this route, are not. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/6/2010 6:45:28 PM   My gf didn't refuse, but the online translation was bad. We were still misunderstanding each other. In the beginning of the relationship, I thought that was bad. I used three means of communication. A live interpreter, the website and e-mail. Her English is now much better. We still have misunderstandings, but I no longer use the website nor the interpreter. I use e-mail and the telephone. beemer18 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/6/2010 7:22:22 PM   "The first rule of this game is to remove the lady from the agency" To me the first rule of this game is not to send money to someone you have not met yet...... Never had to 'remove' a women from an agency before, either they didn't use one or our correspondence was only a couple months before we met, so it was never an issue....meeting girl will tell all. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter if you use pay per letter, unlimited monthly letters or even a free site, use need to have a plan and realistic expectations...if you can't get a young girl where you live why try in FSU? ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 1/6/2010 10:08:07 PM   I violated that rule by sending her money for the train, two days apartment accomodations and to fix her phone. For 2-3 weeks before I visited her, I only could get a hold of her by phone one time. She answered the phone and told me she put her SIM card in her friend's phone. I thought that it would cause me more problems if I got to Kiev and could not get a hold of her. Not sending money to anyone you haven't met is a good rule, but I believe not sending money to anyone if you're not prepared to lose it a better rule. Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > need an advice...
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