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	Create New Topic   My Posts   My forum buddies   Invite friends   Private messages Russian brides > Main Forum > Are Latvian women generally cold and moody? Author Post SoftSoul Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/1/2010 1:54:24 AM   I met a Latvian women who was in the US on a temporary VISA and briely dated her. I realy liked her and was falling in love when she left. I might have tried to stop her but at that time I felt like the relationship didn't have much of a future because she was young (22) and needed to sew her wild oats. We lost touch for a number of years and then started talking again through myspace. The chemistry came right back, she was more mature now (28), was talking about her desire to have a family and settle down. I also feel a very strong spiritual connection to her. She is going to school in the UK, finishing her BA this spring. We have been in this long distance relationship a year and a half and I have been to Europe three times and Latvia once to meet her parents. When we met in Europe for the first time she was extremely affectionate and loving, we talked a lot about what we each needed in a partner. I wanted this person to be my best friend, to support each other emotionally, I liked to hold hands, be affectionate, share the struggle of daily life, and have a family. She told me that these were also her goals and that family was extremely important to her. We talked daily and sent lots of emails,texts etc. In each subsequent visit, she has told me the opposite of things she initially told me. I think over time she is becoming more comortable telling me about herself, but it bothers me that I keep finding these things out and I wonder what will be next. For example, she told me she realy isn't that affectionate and tires quickly of touching. She says sometimes she likes to sleep alone...although we have never slept apart, she wont explain what this means and I am worried about this if we marry. She used to email and text daily and although she likes me to email her, it can be a week or more in between her emails to me unless she needs something. She rarely calls me anymore but we have been using skype almost every day. Now she says she is tired of skyping every day or has nothing to say but I have seen her with family and friends and she rarely stops talking. She is taking more untis than she ever has at the uni so she is more stressed about time and getting her work done, which I realize is part of it. I keep asking her to share her life with me but I don't feel she is. She talks about her "friends" at the uni but even though I ask, she doesn't tell me any details.. their names or anything about them or her experiences. She is uncomfortable talking about her feelings and it seems very difficult for her. I have made this an issue and asked her to open up to me and share and talk more etc. She will be good for a couple of days and be more open but then she closes off again. She tells me we don't need to talk every day. I am used to American women who have always wanted to talk a lot and this makes me feel like something is wrong. With her, when things get hard or she is upset or stressed, she closes off more, instead of it bringing us closer...which is what I am used to. I have never been with a Latvian women before so I don't know if this is normal or I should be concerned? Where do men typically fall on a Latvian women's priority list...? I am somewhere under herself, family, friends and then school....we have had numerous arguments about this but nothing changes. We are serious enough to be talking about marriage and I just recently started helping her financialy. She wanted me to travel to Latvia to meet her family which I did this last Christmas. I know her asking me to meet her parents is huge, but at the same time, I asked her to add me to her facebook friends and she didn't want to, she liked things the way they are. Today, I insisted she add me after I again told her how I felt and that it was ridiculous to be considering marriage when she wont even add me as a friend. She is a lot like a cat, she wants everything on her schedule and how she likes it. I don't doubt her love but I need to know what I am getting into. Thanks! baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/3/2010 4:48:45 PM   Women are women. As long as you keep sending her money, why would she want to change everything. How do you say, "She not really into you....except for one thing?" ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/3/2010 9:59:47 PM   Softsoul, unless you are prepared to lose your money and get no relationship, don't give her anymore. Yes, she should share about herself - anything and everything, even facebook. Does she have anything to hide or to be ashamed of? The fact that you had to write about these things to feel better means they bother you. They bother me too. FSULover Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/4/2010 8:22:01 AM   I disagree with those two answers ... In my opinion this is a simple case of two people who love each other but are just NOT compatible. You two have very different ways to see the world and express your feelings. It happens all the time with women and men everywhere. She probably loves you, but she likes to be alone too. What is wrong with that? However, when two people are this incompatible, there needs to be a lot of compromising from both parties for the relationship to stay strong and last forever. It is very difficult, but it is possible. It will require hard work. I believe, from what you said, that she is a very private person and likes to keep her private life private. She is probably introverted and needs time alone to re-energize herself. That is perfectly normal. And the more pressure you exert on her to change, the more she will refuse. You have to make a decision: are you ready for years of frustration and acceptance? If you are, then trust that love will save you and will keep you happy together. Otherwise, you will end in divorce due to irreconcilable differences. baron555 Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/4/2010 8:45:34 AM   I guess I can agree to that......That a man and a woman can love each other yet have no relationship. Long term success will be very poor. Actually they both probably love the "idea" of the other person and not the real person. Centaur Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/4/2010 9:30:17 AM   I think it best you stay friends only for the time being, and if you meet someone else then so be it. Its like she is saying stay away from me, but not to far then come close, but not to close.It also seems like she is keeping you hanging on till something better comes along. So if you can`t get into it! get out of it! fku Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/4/2010 10:42:55 AM   a relationship should not be hard work , it should be 100% joy Kirkland Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/4/2010 3:09:53 PM   Relationship advice is hard work. Something odd about her not wanting to share your relationship with her on her social network. Incidentaly.. if she's a very private person and likes to keep her private life private...introverted etc...why is she on facebook? Reckon if you keep sending the money you'll keep getting the same treatment. durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2010 12:37:14 AM   To respond the first question: there is a lot of variation between individuals, so generalizations about groups of people are wrong in many cases! That being said, it seems to me that people in the Russian-speaking world tend to channel their emotions differently, than I am used to here in the USA. As I see it, Over There people tend to divide the world quite sharply between their personal circle (family, close friends, trusted associates) and the rest of the world. They save their warmth and sentimentality for their inner circle, and tend to see everything else in hard, detached light. This is in contrast to my American experience, where people are more likely to see strangers and other remote figures in a sentimental light, without such a sharp dividing line between the "inside" and "outside". Anyway, this is one fool's opinion. If SoftSoul's woman really loves him ... in the way that is necessary to build a life together ... he should be in her inner circle -- and if he were, he would know it! For some idiots (me, as an example) it is very exciting to think of a cold, distant woman as a "challenge", to find out how to overcome her resistance. But to be practical, it seems to me that an international marriage has many challenges, sometimes quite difficult, even for a couple that is really close and compatible. To add to these problems a relationship that is not starting in the right direction ... durak Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2010 12:38:24 AM   P.S. to SoftSoul: Why DOESN'T she want to include you in her personal online network? For one possible explanation, see my thread "Russian Humor" SoftSoul Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2010 1:46:14 AM   Thanks everyone, I do appreaciate your thoughts, concerns and opinions! This is a difficult subject to talk to my American friends about because they can't understand the dynamic of what I have been through or even why I would do this in the first place. I know there is plenty of concern about money in these situations but in my case, to be fair, it is very trivial. Besides paying for travel expenses, I have given her less than $500 in cash in 1 1/2 years... thousands less than I would be spending if I was dating or had a girlfriend here that I was taking out every weekend. You have some very good insight FSULover as I can remember times when she would stay in bed and not answer the phone and just watch a movie or read a book...she would say she was "recharging her batteries." She also seemed to have periods where she would be very happy/upbeat and other times when she was sad/depressed... what I am calling moody but I guess it could be more serious. Baron555.. she has actually said, "I love being in love with you" so you may have a point as well. Durak.. you are right about her inner circle and I thought meeting her parents and family would be a new beginning and an entrance to her inner circle. It never materialized that way, her parents spoke no English and my Russian was pretty pathetic so I can't say I was able to bond with them, although her sister spoke English and realy liked me. That being said, I decided to end the relationship. I know what I need in a partner and wahtever the reason is that she can't or wont open up to me, it's ultimately irrelevent. She is an amazing women in so many ways but I am not going to be satisfied and to go through everything I would have to do to get her here, I would need to have no reservations at all. I learned a lot about myself through this experience and I am happy I don't have to go through life wondering what could have been if I hadn't tried in the first place. I feel at peace with my decision. strasbourg Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2010 8:30:38 AM   If you really want to get to the bottom of her -- have a look at a written letter that she has sent you - then do a detailed hand writing analysis using a good quality text. Handwriting analysis is used in a forensic way in some laces and is a great tool to get a great insight into a person. It is unlike tarot reading etc...because it is scientifically based. ragingbull Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/5/2010 1:11:53 PM   "As I see it, Over There people tend to divide the world quite sharply between their personal circle (family, close friends, trusted associates) and the rest of the world. They save their warmth and sentimentality for their inner circle, and tend to see everything else in hard, detached light." Great insight, Mr. Durak. While shopping at the outdoor market with my gf and her kid, I started a conversation with a vendor from Uzbekistan. He pointed to his friend and told me I look like him. That made me laugh loud. It wasn't long before we were conversing loudly and laughing. He was selling pomegranate juice and gave me a sample. I tried to make my gf's kid taste the juice, which was good, but she refused. My gf later on was amused that I made friends. With a smile, she asked me why I talked to him. Great move, Soulfate. I always found that looking for another helped me get over it. I'm amazed and glad that you haven't been flamed with this story. I guess the forum is changing. RodanTsunami Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/6/2010 10:32:46 AM   You will have no idea what she will be as a woman until she finishes the university. It is a link to her being a child and also that flirtatious young woman of 6 years ago. It is her primary objective in life and when it is completed she will make choices on the path of life. It may be with you, another of independent. She desires many paths, but until she is free to choose she will remain flighty and unfocused,,,,,,,, maybe forever, time will tell Texasdude Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 2/9/2010 12:22:51 AM   Wow dude, You are patient...6 years! Good move, find someone else. I do not say that flippantly, by now she should be serious. Good luck next time around! BUNGLE Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/3/2011 2:20:07 PM   I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP with probably the most honest and lovely girl I have had the pleasure to meet, Biruta is her name and she comes from Latvia. I do recocgnise a problem with indiferrences regarding culture,but what you have to realise this does not come into Post communism, we are so easy talking about relationships but Baltic aspects have privacy and because they are very private they can sometimes act indifferent. I will suggest that you enjoy the moment and learn from a somewhat naive but special aspect of relationship, and if love comes over it is something you would never have experienced 20 years ago. So bearing this in mind we all come from other cultures and politics, it needs working at. Otherwise it goes back to Cold War years. ELTON JOHN: Nikitta. Dr. Rasputin Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 3/3/2011 5:08:12 PM   You did not give her enough of the degvins, the Latvia vodka. DayZeeMay Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/23/2013 7:38:02 PM   DO NOT MARRY HER!!! My friend married a Latvian woman just over 8 years ago, and it was the biggest mistake of his life. She had a US visa initially, but after they got married, and a very short courtship mind you, she was able to come to Canada. Initially she came across as nice but a bit distant. She would throw smiles around all the time, and it was important to her to always look dolled up, but no one in the family could get close to her. It soon became apparent that she was cold and didn't want any close relationships. All she wanted was to know gossip about other people and then tell others about it to cause division and disloyalty. She is very manipulative. She will lie when it suits her to get what she wants. She withholds her children from those she "loves" when she doesn't get what she wants. It's so hurtful. When caught in a lie she continues to claim innocence. She does not think twice about emotional blackmail. She does not have financial management skills yet spends so much money on her children to the point of not being able to pay bills. Her children mean the most to her, her husband not so much. My friend's character has changed in a negative way. The way he treats his family is really quite shocking. The "spiritual" connection they felt initially has turned into nothing. The dolled up Latvian princess now has been exposed and is nothing but a bully. moyarishka Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 6/25/2013 1:36:25 AM   don't play hide and seek, my friend played once and got lost. Don't eat burgers, my friend ate one and had a heart attack, don't swim in the pool my friend swam once and got drown. Rick4girl Member send PM   block PM add to buddies Send: 7/5/2013 5:22:23 PM   funny stuff Moya;) Your Reply: Your name:   New Registration Password:   Forgot password?   refresh Code:   Russian brides > Main Forum > Are Latvian women generally cold and moody?
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